Hey everyone, I thought I should just say, that yes, I am still writing this story and sorry it's been so long since I updated, but I've been pretty busy, so I finally had time to write this, I hope you enjoy... and please keep writing reviews because I love them, and their very useful!
Abandon Love
I can hear the turning of the key
I've been deceived by the clown inside of me.
I thought that he was righteous but he's vain
Oh, something's a-telling me I wear the ball and chain.
My patron saint is a-fighting with a ghost
He's always off somewhere when I need him most.
The Spanish moon is rising on the hill
But my heart is a-tellin' me I love ya still.
DEREK
Derek Sheppard was not a timid man. He was the best, and he knew it, so strolling into Manhattan General should have been easy – after all, he was practically a celebrity here. Even so, he felt the stickiness of his palms and the adrenaline pumping through his veins made his fingers tremble. A brief word in reception had him on his way to the chief's office.
A twisted sense of de ja vous overwhelmed him as he lent back against the cool metallic wall of the lift – the last time he had been here, the last time he had lent against this wall, he had been with Addison, and here was again, chasing after a woman he loved.
Derek strolled down the surreally familiar corridors. He knocked on the chief's door and prepared himself for the hell that might break loose.
I come back to the town from the flaming moon
I see you in the streets, I begin to swoon.
I love to see you dress before the mirror
Won't you let me in your room one time 'fore I finally disappear?
MEREDITH
Meredith's morning had been, what was increasingly becoming, an ordinary one. She had woken up, had a fight with her husband, stormed out, taken her preconscious little girl to day care, and then locked herself in her office to cry. The call from reception to say that a specialist surgeon was on their way up to see her was a welcome distraction, and she welcomed the warning, which gave her just enough time to rinse the mascara stains from under her eyes and reapply the makeup which hid her misery.
Feeling confident behind her newly applied mask, she wasn't prepared for the sight which greeted her as she opened the door. There, with all his old charm, and that heart breaking smile, was Derek.
"What was he doing here?" All sense of control slipping out the window, Meredith let her jaw drop in consternation, somewhere between that old excitement and a crushing sense of reality.
"Derek?" She let the question creep into her voice, although there was no mistaking him, the same as ever, with those dark unruly curls falling just short of the beautiful grey eyes. The only change was perhaps a look of defeat, which she couldn't remember. She almost reached up a hand to brush it away, but he took a step into the office and she hurriedly regained her composure.
Everybody's wearing a disguise
To hide what they've got left behind their eyes.
But me, I can't cover what I am
Wherever the children go I'll follow them.
DEREK
I didn't realise how much I still loved her until she was standing there in front of me. For a moment, it was all I could do to remain on my feet, looking down into that face I had dreamed of for so many years and those lips I hadn't kissed since that night…. and in a moment all the memories of her seemed to fill my mind a once and none of them could compare with this woman.
Unconsciously, I took a step nearer, and it seemed to shake her out of memories, closing her up to me. I felt the sting of tears build behind my eyes and I scrunched my lids shut so they wouldn't fall.
"Meredith, we need to talk,"
"There's nothing left to say Derek, we left that behind us," Her voice was stilted, as though she too was holding back the urge to cry. "Seattle is in the past – I… we, can't go back," I couldn't tell if she was trying to convince me or herself, but she seemed to cling to resolve, like a rapidly fading shadow.
"Mer, your daughter is three and eight months, your husband beats you… and I haven't slept in four years."
I march in the parade of liberty
But as long as I love you I'm not free.
How long must I suffer such abuse
Won't you let me see you smile one time before I turn you loose?
CARLOS
Carlos' day wasn't going well. On arriving at work, he'd been forced to take shit from two surgeons, not counting the most recent fight with Meredith. Why did she insist on being so difficult? Couldn't she see he loved her, that he just wanted the best for them? She was always insisted on being so independent. He wouldn't hurt her if she'd just be reasonably, hell, he didn't want her to get hurt, if she'd just listen to him.
"Ravello!" Dr. Williamson charged down the corridor. "Have you got the patient in room 1342 ready yet?" Carlos cursed. He was sick of being ordered about by snotty young doctors who thought they were better than him. Managing to bite back the retort on the tip of his tongue he grabbed a chart and headed for the elevator, it was time to see his wife.
I've given up the game, I've got to leave,
The pot of gold is only make-believe.
The treasure can't be found by men who search
Whose gods are dead and whose queens are in the church.
DEREK
"Mer? Mer," Derek wrapped his arms around the woman in front of him, cursing his harsh words. Meredith had dissolved from the competent head of surgery to shaking wreck of a little girl, hands covering her eyes, as though, if she didn't have to look at it, the whole world might go away and leave her in peace.
As his arms pulled her tight against his chest, he felt her body convulse and stiffen, scared, and he let his fingers run against that soft blond hair, softly brushing the stray strands from her swollen eyes. He rubbed her lower back as he had done so many times in the past, and slowly, he lowered her lips to plant a kiss on her forehead.
He didn't realise there was anyone else in the room until he felt the angry fingers dig into his arm, wrenching them apart.
We sat in an empty theater and we kissed,
I asked ya please to cross me off-a your list.
My head tells me it's time to make a change
But my heart is telling me I love ya but you're strange.
One more time at midnight, near the wall
Take off your heavy make-up and your shawl.
Won't you descend from the throne, from where you sit?
Let me feel your love one more time before I abandon it.
