This isn't a very important chapter, it just helps give Meredith's perspective - trying to work out what the right decision for Ella and her might be (even if you all think it's obvious). Also, just a warning that there's a little bit of caurse language in this chapter. Thanks for all the reviews... don't stop writing!
Emotionally Yours
Come baby, find me, come baby, remind me of where I once begun.
Come baby, show me, show me you know me, tell me you're the one.
I could be learning, you could be yearning to see behind closed doors.
But I will always be emotionally yours.
DEREK
As though through a haze, Derek felt the other man's fist explode against his cheek bone, and through the throbbing that seemed to fill his head, he clung desperately to the woman in his arms. Whatever happened, she wouldn't be the one taking the punches this time.
Perhaps it was presumptive of him to think she needed help, but as the blows continued to rain down, she curled like a small child against his chest. Her mind seemed to have shut down in some sort of defensive reflex and only the trembling convulsions of her delicate frame let Derek know she was still conscious at all.
At last, Meredith let a small whimper escape, and it was this sound, utterly forlorn from this woman, that finally triggered Derek into action. Giving Meredith one last squeeze he turned on their assailant and planted a well-aimed punch on the side of Carlos' head. Surprised the other man stopped.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing with my wife?" Carlos let all the anger he'd been building up all morning come spitting out in his words. Who was this man who thought he could hold his wife and what was Meredith thinking?
"What do you think you're doing to her?" Derek demanded. Suddenly both men caught sight of Meredith, who, still in a world of her own, was gently rocking back and forth, hugging her knees to her chin.
Derek made a move to touch her again, but at the same moment, Carlos started forward.
"She's my wife," Carlos let the words slip past his lips at a whisper, torn between wonder and regret. "Believe it or not, I love her."
Derek stared at this man in consternation. Was it possible? Catching the gleam of sincerity in the man's face, he reasoned that it must be. "Then why do you hurt her?"
"She doesn't listen," Desperately, Carlos wanted this stranger to understand what he lived through, what his life was like. "She's always the best at everything, she's beautiful, she's head of surgery, every man she sees loves her…" He leant towards Derek, "She has a daughter."
Come baby, rock me, come baby, lock me into the shadows of your heart.
Come baby, teach me, come baby, reach me, let the music start.
I could be dreaming but I keep believing you're the one I'm livin' for.
And I will always be emotionally yours.
MEREDITH
As the blows struck, Meredith lost all sense of reality, and retreating into the recesses of her mind, she tied to pretend that everything was all right. She felt for the darkness she had become so used to finding, that place where nothing mattered and she would concentrate on the important things. On Ella, and Carlos, and sometimes, when the pain seeped through, she'd reach back to memories of Seattle with George and Izzy and Christina, and Richard, and Burk… and Derek.
Somewhere above her, the pain had subsided, but safe in her memories, Meredith didn't break the rhythm of her rocking. She could hear them talking, she could hear them say her name, and all the time, she was sitting right in front of them. Slowly, fearfully, she came to a rest, and let the meaning of their conversation wash over her.
"She has a daughter." Carlos had said it. What he'd always hated, what he'd never been able to stomach, no matter how many times he reassured her that he could.
"Ella loves you," Her voice was husky from restrained pain, but her words were clear and both men understood what she was telling them.
It's like my whole life never happened,
When I see you, it's as if I never had a thought.
I know this dream, it might be crazy,
But it's the only one I've got.
"Meredith?" Derek's voice was soft, he felt as though anything stronger than a whisper might blow her away altogether. "Meredith, Ella's my daughter isn't she?"
Slowly, Meredith turned those big grey eyes so they tilted up towards the two men who had made themselves the most important, painful pillars in her life. Her breath was heavy, and tears had gathered between her lashes.
"You left Derek. Carlos stayed." She didn't need to give the answer they were all too painfully aware of.
"But Meredith – I didn't know. You never told me. I would have been there." Derek let reproach creep in between his words. There was no way he would have abandoned any child.
"You don't understand do you? You never did Derek. I couldn't have you just love me for Ella's sake. I needed you to choose me because I was the woman you thought of first. Every time. The woman you wanted to wake up next to for the rest of your life. The woman, whose feet you'd massage when she was eight months pregnant. The woman you'd rush home to when she had a craving for chocolate ice cream when she already looked like a whale from carrying your child." Finally, the words seemed to run out, and, eyes darting between the stunned men she threw the last blow, "Carlos was there. He might hit me, but he'll always be there."
None of them were ready for Dr. Williamson to come bursting through the door. Stunned by the bizarre sight of three adults, seemingly normal, crying their eyes out, two of whom also bore the signs of a recent fight, he faltered. Then, not knowing what else to do, he turned to Meredith.
"Dr. Grey, your daughter's in reception, your neighbour brought her in."
Without another word, Meredith followed the young attending out of the room.
Come baby, shake me, come baby, take me, I would be satisfied.
Come baby, hold me, come baby, help me, my arms are open wide.
I could be unraveling wherever I'm traveling, even to foreign shores.
But I will always be emotionally yours.
