FEARS
A/N: Such a difficult story! Oh my God! But man, I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. It's too short to be a chapter story, too long to be a one shot. It just…is. A story. One I thought of randomly and yes, I thought the idea was rather creative even though it's long. But hey, who cares as long as you like it yourself, right? Right. Please read the whole thing (don't skim, skimming is evil!) and review. Review is love.
This is about what Yuna says in FFX-2. When you first go to the Thunder Plains, she says that Rikku had a fear of lightning (it's true, play X), and to get over it she had stayed in the plains an entire week. This is my… "version" of the events during those seven days.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X and X-2 belong to Square Enix. Awkward basis of the story is mine. Yay!
"Plains of lightning, plains of thunder, those who cross are torn asunder…"
Day One"Only a week…just a week! That's only seven days…only one hundred something hours…it's not that much, really!"
Crunch. Crunch. Snap.
"Breathe…Breathe…you'll be okay, Rikku! You defeated Sin! For Ixion's Sake, you can do this!"
The skies above the young teenage girl crackled with unplugged electricity. Black clouds loomed overhead, blocking out any means of sunlight. Deep, throaty rumbles emitted from the air, surrounding the girl and making her dizzy. Rain drizzled down lightly; it was early morning, the only time of day when the Thunder Plains resembled something without rain. Rough, red stone mountains rose around the Al Bhed, lurching and tumbling, jutting out and around. Pools of water collected where lightning had struck a large, black hole. There was no noise but the light smattering of rain on the pebbly ground and the roar of thunder in the distance.
Rikku felt herself shiver as something in the air sparked and crackled above her. "Just a week!" she managed to squeak again, scuttling down the path and keeping her eyes on the tips of her white boots. She would have covered her ears if it were possible, but both her hands were clutching a small cloth pack so tightly her knuckles were turning white. Her blonde hair whipped around as the wind grew stronger, shrieking and moaning and scaring the life out of Rikku. "La la laa, la la laaa," she mumbled under her breath, trying to focus on something—anything—other than her surroundings.
Without really looking Rikku veered off of the intended path of travelers making their way through the Thunder Plains. She walked about ten paces and then slid the pack on her back off, letting her hands release the smaller one in her hands. Now singing loudly to drown out the faraway storm that was steadily coming nearer, she began to assemble a small tent she had found aboard Cid's airship. "Not much longer now!" she yelled to the air, fitting poles together and sliding them through the heavy cloth. "Soon I'll have myself a tent, and then I'll never have to leave it! Haha!" She let a nervous smile grace her features, but it was anything but reassured.
Just as she managed to fit the last spike into the crumbling earth, something behind her cracked. It was sharp and quick, blasting her eardrums and causing the air around her to seemingly ripple with sonic movement. Shrieking with a frightening intensity, Rikku grabbed her small bag and lunged through the flap of the tent, crawling far into the back and hiding her head in her arms, curling up into a fetal position. "I have to do this…I have to…" She continued to mutter this to herself, shivering at the thought of lightning having touched the ground right behind her. Memories of singed flesh, numbness, tears, sand, yelling, crying, words, flash, bang, smells…they haunted her as she lay curled in the dark, feeling tears prick at her eyes. She let out an unsteady sob, quickly holding back any other sobs. She couldn't cry! It was only the Thunder Plains, not—not Sin! Not Yunalesca! Not…Not…
Rikku unsteadily sat up, sniffling and rubbing at her eyes. Jerking her arms out, she grabbed a blanket from her smaller bag and began to unroll it, thinking.
It was only two months after their defeat of Sin. After Auron's sending, and after…after his sacrifice. Shivering even more violently, Rikku tried to force her thoughts away, but they kept coming back, if not taunting her than at least keeping her mind off of her location. It was two months later, and…and she had nowhere to go. She had been staying in Bevelle with Yuna and the others while being attacked by the public, but one night she had had enough. She felt out of place with all the Yevonites around her; they tried to act like it was normal, but she would catch them glaring at her when they thought she wasn't looking. She would notice them edging around her, huddling in groups and whispering…she had been sick of it, and decided she might as well do something useful with her time—get over her fear of lightning. The only way to do that was come face her worst enemy; the Thunder Plains.
Thunder rumbled above her, shaking the ground as it did so. Squealing, Rikku dove under her blankets, her flesh bumpy and cold from the shivers of fear and anxiety. While lying under the covers and squeezing her hands over her ears to try and block out the noise, Rikku tried to think of something. The first thing that popped into her head were the Al Bhed. Would they be accepted now? Had Rikku helped them? She hoped so. She hadn't just joined to help her cousin…no; everyone had their selfish reasons, right? Well, everyone except Yuna…
Gippal. The name jerked itself into her mind out of absolutely nowhere. She blinked, managing to open her eyes in surprise and horror. Gippal? Gippal? Why was she suddenly thinking of him now? She hadn't seen him for at least a year! Not since they had both lived at Home. They hadn't been best friends or anything. No, it had been the total opposite. Sworn enemies, always picking on each other and screaming and yelling and fighting and flinging sand into one another's eyes. No, they were more like acquaintances.
Rikku's mind was snapped back to reality as lightning popped somewhere down on the plains. She gave a blood-curdling shriek, shrinking down underneath her blankets. She didn't have to go out and face her fears on the first day, did she? No…not today. Rikku felt the tears falling silently from her eyes, dripping over the ridge of her nose as she lay on her side. She watched them fall onto the blankets beneath her, and then began humming and tried…tried to take her mind off of…well, everything.
Day 2Rikku knew it was the second day. The thunder and lightning had only gotten worse last night, raging and shrieking and clapping and snapping around her tent. The flap had flared up occasionally, forcing Rikku to tie it down, trying not to look outside where she would see the gloomy skies, the dead earth…then it had lessened again, and that's when she knew it had been the morning of the second day.
"One day down," she muttered into her small pillow, her voice muffled and quiet. She wasn't used to being silent…not like this. In fact, Rikku wasn't used to being alone period. She sincerely wished she had some sort of human company right now. Anything to distract her from that.
She nibbled on a small piece of jerky, drinking a sip from her water canteen. Nibble. Sip. Nibble. Sip. Nibble. Sip.
It was no surprise that fifteen minutes later Rikku felt the terrible urge to relieve herself. She scrunched up into a tighter ball, hoping and praying it would go away and she wouldn't have to go outside and squat behind some sort of hill and be in danger of being struck by lightning or being shoved into the air by the screeching wind, or…or…
Another fifteen minutes later, Rikku grumbled to herself and managed to crawl to the tent flap. Taking a deep breath she untied the knot that held it together. It flew up instantaneously, and the dull noise that had been the wind was now full blast screaming. It ached her entire body just to hear it, just to stare outside and see barren wasteland everywhere. Shivering, she grabbed her small coat and slid it over her orange tank top. She stood up and bent down to get out of her tent. Once outside, she forced herself to stand tall. She stood there; eyes squeezed shut, and waited.
Waited.
Waited.
Waited.
"IF YOU'RE GOING TO HIT ME, DO IT NOW!" she cried into the air. Nothing happened. Raindrops pelted her entire body and in seconds she was soaked to the skin, but no lightning crashed down upon her body. Rikku squinted one eye open to see the familiar black skies. She could hear the thunder booming around her, and in the distance she saw blue lightning flash and flare up, illuminating the entire Plains for a mere nanosecond. Cursing in Al Bhed under her breath, Rikku shuffled over to a small hill, just like what she had feared she would have to do.
On her way back to the tent, she couldn't help but crack a small—very small—smile. "I did it," she whispered. "I'm outside!" She began to laugh maniacally, spinning in a circle. "Take THAT Thunder Plains!" she yelled, giggling. "Take that, and that, and THAT!"
"What is wrong with that girl?" A far away, echoing voice caught Rikku off guard. Gasping, she whirled around to spot a group of three travelers about twenty paces away from her and the tent. She began to feel her face heat up. Those people had seen her yell at the sky! How idiotic of her! Two were male, one was female. The woman was tall, her face hidden by a hood to keep the rain off. Her clothes were also protected by the same material. The men were strong and built like logs. They were both shorter than the woman. Rikku, at a loss for words, did what she always did in awkward situations with strangers.
"Cunno, E tuh'd ihtancdyht oui!" she shouted emphatically over the howl of the wind, shrugging and shaking her head of blonde hair.
"Of course," one of the men grunted, shrugging his shoulders.
"A slimy foreigner," the other muttered in reply, his tone scoffing. Rikku felt annoyance flare up inside of her. Slimy? Her heart began to beat wildly against her ribcage, and for a moment she forgot where she was. She thought the Al Bhed had been accepted! Hadn't she fixed everything for them? Her people?
"Famm, oui'na pidd ikmo! Yht oui muug mega y vmyh, tet E damm oui dryd? Y pek ikmo vmyh!" she yelled, her tone searing with anger. They may not have understood the words, but they got the gist of her voice. Shrugging, they began to scuttle off down the white stone path. Glaring at their backs, Rikku felt the urge to throw a grenade at them, watch them scream and run and die...
Gasping, she shook her head. Stop it! She wasn't a killer! She had only used violence for the better cause…the bigger cause.
Just then, lightning crashed around her, followed by the erupting booms of thunder. Shrieking, Rikku bolted into the tent and crawled back into the familiar position; curled up, eyes closed, hands over ears, and mumbles of an old Al Bhed song to keep her comforted. Two days down, five to go…
Day Three"Hello? Helloooo? Is anyone in there?"
Rikku mumbled something in Al Bhed.
"Hey! Answer, okay? Anyone?"
"Let me sleep, Pops!"
"What?"
Wind battered at the old tent, and rain was slowly dripping from having soaked through the cloth of it. Shivering underneath her thin quilts, Rikku blinked blearily, glancing at the closed flap of the tent. She managed to see the shadow of someone outside. Her stomach lurched and fear immediately took over. Someone was outside! What if it was a killer? What if it was a Yevonite who hated her? What if it was Yunalesca? Or Jecht? Or—or—
"Hey, are you ever going to come out? I just wanna know what's up!"
Rikku felt her heartbeat relax slightly. The voice wasn't intimidating. In fact, it was male and somewhat boyish. Cocking her head to the side curiously, Rikku crawled over to the flap and began to untie it.
"Sorry to break in, but if you don't open up soon--!" The words were cut off as the flap flared up and hit the person in the face. "Augh!" they yelled, clutching their face with their hands. Rikku let out a muffled gasp of horror.
"Oh my gosh!" she yelled, still on her hands and knees. "Oh my gosh, are you all right?" she asked, her voice yelling over the wind.
"I'm fine!" the boy replied. His face was still covered with his hands, and the rain was exceptionally heavy that day. Rikku squinted through the hazy mist, trying to find any distinguishing features. She glimpsed blonde hair, and gasped again.
"Are you an Al Bhed?" she yelled with surprise and glee. The person stopped fidgeting and the hands muffled the voice slightly as they asked their next question.
"Cid's Girl?"
Rikku's jaw dropped open as the boy pulled his hands away. Blonde hair, usually spiked, now lay flat on his head. He wore familiar Al Bhed travelling clothes, and one of his eyes was hidden by a black eye patch.
"Oh my Yevon! Gippal?" she screeched back at him, horror filling her entire body. She did not need to deal with this jerk right now! "And my name is Rikku! Learn it!"
The boy glared down at her, his body shivering from the cold. "Ya don't need to snap!" he shouted back, running a hand through his wet hair in a familiar habit Rikku recognized immediately. "I'm sorry I checked on you! Geez, it's not everyday you see a tent here, of all places! I was worried about whoever was inside!" His young face was creased with lines of anger and exhaustion. Rikku immediately felt a small amount of guilt.
"Sorry," she mumbled to the ground, flinching as lightning crashed in the distance.
"Hey, speaking of inside, wanna let me in?"
Rikku's head snapped back up, and she felt anger fill her entire body. "W—Wh—What!"
"It's cold! Thanks," he added, shuffling his way through the flap of the tent and setting his soaking body on the blanketed ground of the tent. "Ah, this is better," he mumbled, resting his head against the pole in the corner of the tent and closing his eye. "Yep, nice and cozy…"
"Gippal! What in all the name of Spira are you doing?" her voice trembled with outrage, and she hated it that he didn't even crack his eye open to glare at her. "I haven't seen you in a YEAR, and you think you can just come in here? And sit down? And sleep? We never even liked each other, Gippal!"
"Sorry," he replied easily, his eye still closed and his hands folded on his lap. "I was on my way to my…job, and I noticed the tent. I asked. It was you. I recognized you, and I needed a place to dry off. Get it?" his last question was snappy, and Rikku bristled at his tone.
"Your welcome," she replied icily, turning and crawling back underneath her bed, shivering as lightning crashed in the distance. She couldn't help but feel the tears beginning to slowly leak down her face. Her life was bad enough without her long-lost enemy mysteriously appearing!
"Ya know, I had been wondering where you went, Cid's Girl," he spoke up, his familiar tone attacking the few nerves Rikku had left. "I mean, after the Guado attacked Home. Man, that was intense!" He waited, as if expecting Rikku to add something in.
She didn't.
"So after that big thing," Gippal continued, "I hitched a ride on your little airship. I didn't know you were on it of course, or else I would've said hello." She knew he wouldn't have. Yevon, she would have hated it if he had. "And then I was busy for the next while…" Busy with what? Rikku mentally asked, but Gippal was still droning on. "And then I saw you on the sphere! Spira, I was surprised!" He looked over at her curled form and she could feel his irritating grin on her. "Little Cid's Girl, all grown up and saving the world! Pretty cool, hey?"
It sounded like a compliment, but Rikku knew better. Gippal never gave compliments. She could hear the iciness of his voice even if he was trying to hide it. "Sure," she mumbled back. Not like I did anything anyway.
"So why are you out here anyway?"
Rikku stiffened. "None of your business," she snapped, turning over and feeling her eyes flutter shut. She was definitely catching up on lost sleep on this campout.
"Really?" he asked, his voice asking the question more than the actual word.
"Yes!" Rikku snapped, sitting up abruptly and glaring at the handsome boy who sat cockily in the corner of her tent. "What are you even DOING here? Why were YOU in the Thunder Plains? Yevon, leave me alone! You're so annoying! You're horrible! You were mean to me at Home and you always will be, you sayhea! I just—I came here for a very specific reason; to get away from everything! YOU are not helping!"
The tent was silent. Rikku continued to glare at Gippal, trying not to lose her nerve in front of his unwavering eye. Then he suddenly sighed, as if he had been holding his breath the entire time. Rikku blinked, surprised. Rain continued to pound on the tent, with wind shrieking in the distance.
"Why're you crying?" he asked suddenly, randomly. Rikku blinked again, this time at a complete loss for words. There was no expression of concern on his face, only mild interest in his eye. She rubbed at her eyes hurriedly, feeling stupid.
"None of your business!" she snapped again. Gippal shrugged.
"Okay."
Rikku glared at him through her fingers. "But…" she prodded.
Gippal flashed her a quirky grin that caught Rikku off guard. "You're smart," he said quickly, a small smile still lighting up his face. It was if he was proud of Rikku's achievement. "Buuut, I'm not leaving till you tell me."
"WHAT? NO. WAY. IN. SPIRA." Rikku's voice trembled with frustration. "Can't you leave me alone?" she yelled, trying hard not to cry. At that moment lightning exploded just outside of her tent. She couldn't help but scream and dive under the blankets, shaking and shivering and letting the tears flow out of her eyes and stain her face. For a moment she forgot Gippal was sitting in her tent and that she was sobbing now and that he could undoubtedly hear her and see her shaking and bawling and was probably laughing at her at that very moment. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to forget where she was. Black. Black. Black. That's all she wanted to see, to think about. Nothing. Emptiness. Air. Space. Anything. Anything but lightning. Thunder. Her dad. Yuna. Sin. Tidus. Anything. Anything. Anything.
"Hey, hey, hey! Geez, what's wrong with you?" Gippal's voice brought Rikku back to Spira with a sickening thud. She felt a hand gripping her arm, which was wrapped around her head as if trying to protect it. It seemed that Gippal had crawled over and was trying to shake her back to reality. "Wake up! Or, or, whatever it is you're doing, stop it! It's freaky, Cid's Girl!"
"Leave me alone," she snarled, ripping her arm out of his hand. She couldn't bring herself to look up. How embarrassing! "Can you just go?" she asked, her voice still shaky from sobbing.
"Nu-uh. Not till you tell me what's up."
"It's none of your business!" Rikku shrieked into the ground, her face furrowed with anger.
"Are you scared of the lightning?" Rikku was silent. That was enough of an answer for Gippal. "Well geez, if it scares you this much why are you even here?" he asked, his voice filled with incredulity.
"I'm trying…trying to get better," she whispered quietly, hating how timid and scared she sounded…and seemed. She heard Gippal beginning to laugh, and anger flared up inside of her.
"You're such a pest! Go away! I hate you! Don't LAUGH, you idiot!" she ripped the blanket out from underneath him and huddled herself up underneath. "Go away."
She didn't hear anything for a long time. She began to think maybe she had insulted him, which for some reason she didn't want. Then she heard the crinkling of the blankets on the other side of the tent. She risked a peep to see Gippal stretching his body out.
"What are you DOING?" she whispered hoarsely, angrily. Gippal didn't even flinch.
"I'm gonna help you."
"Help me? Why?"
"Cause you saved me." Gippal shrugged. "Sin? Duh."
Rikku had no answer for that, and instead buried her head in the blankets again and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
Day Four"Go on."
"No! I can't!"
"It's not gonna kill you!"
"It could!"
"GO!" Strong hands shoved Rikku through the tent. With a shriek, she found herself standing underneath the rain. It was battering her body without a second's hesitation. Thunder popped her ears, making her quiver. Lightning struck all around the plains, lighting up the sky second after second after second. She whirled around to see the flap of the tent shut tight.
"GIPPAL!" she screamed, struggling to find the flap in the darkening sky. "LET ME IN!"
"No!" came his muffled reply. "Not till you face your fears!"
"Let me iiiin!" she whined, shivering. "It's cold! And…and scary!" She couldn't even look around. She forced herself to stare at the tent. The tent. The tent. The tent. The cloth. The flap. Her shoes. Her fingers. Her arms, where rain droplets were forming and gathering, dripping down onto the rocky ground below. Crash. Bang. Pop. Fizzle. Crack.
"GIPPAL!" she screamed again, her voice getting lost on the currents of the whipping wind. There was no answer. She turned back around, forcing her eyes to gaze around the plains. Rocks. Water. That's all she saw. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible. Nothing like the warmth of the desert. Why was she doing this again? What a horrible idea!
"See?" asked a voice from her right. It tickled her ear, lightly brushing her blonde hair away. She jumped, her heart pounding in her ribcage. She spun to her right to see Gippal standing beside her, grinning toothily at her. He seemed to be over the iciness he had showed her the day before. She noticed just how tall he was, just how blonde his hair was. She noticed how strong he looked, how tanned his face was. All in the blink of an eye, and she felt queasy at the thought of noticing such things. "You did it!"
Rikku glanced nervously at the area around her. As lightning crashed she squeaked, latching onto Gippal's arm for protection. She didn't realize what she had done until she managed to squeeze her eyes open to see Gippal smirking down at her, the wind blowing his hair all over. "Hello," he said casually. Rikku let go of his arm as if it were made of hot iron.
"Hi," she replied quietly, blushing and looking away, shivering from the cold and from something else. As hard as it was for her to admit it, she was glad he was acting as if she hadn't exploded on him the day before. She didn't want to remember that. She had been hysterical, positive she was going to die and not get over her fear. Her old enemy's appearance hadn't helped matters one bit. But now, today…well, he was helping.
"Geez Cid's Girl! Look at you! Soaked to the bone!" His tone was reproving, but his face was filled with humor.
"Don't laugh," she warned, glaring at him. "Don't you dare laugh."
"I wasn't going to," he replied quickly, pointing back into the tent. "Shall we?"
Rikku hesitated, hating the feeling of being soaking wet and crawling into a small humid cramped space, let alone with another wet human. "Fine," she replied, scuttling in quicker than Gippal. Once inside she felt somewhat safer from the lightning, now that she had faced it.
"I must say, it's a bit odd," Gippal said suddenly as he tied the flap closed. Rikku blinked, wringing her hair out in a bowl in the corner.
"What's odd?" she asked.
"That I saw you on the sphere as a hero, standing behind the High Summoner and looking all proud and excited. As if nothing could stop you." He blinked, stopping his tying of the flap and instead looking over at Rikku with his intense gaze that always scared her a little. "And then I see you again, and it's weird to see you screaming and hiding and scared. Lightning can't be worse than Sin, Cid's Girl."
"Yes it can!" she replied haughtily. "If you knew…"
"Oh man, so Brother screwed up. Hit you with a lightning spell. Big deal, right? I've heard this story a million times. You told it to all us Al Bhed kids enough."
"Hey!" Rikku shouted indignantly. But Gippal just ignored her, and instead began whistling an old Al Bhed tune that strangely, put Rikku at immediate ease.
Day FiveRikku was shaking. Not only because of the rain that pelted her skin and froze her numb, and not only because of the lightning that burned the ground nearby. No, it was also because Gippal was leading her through the Plains…holding her hand.
It freaked her out a little. No, make that a lot. She was used to flirting with boys. But Gippal? Touching him? The thought had never crossed her mind. In fact, she had never known him well enough to even think of such a thing. It was always 'I hate you!' 'I hate you more!' 'Cid's Girl!' 'Sayhea!' and then they would throw sand at each other and that would be the end of that. She had never imagined herself being led to her death by the same boy.
"See?" he yelled back at her, grinning with exhilaration. Rikku couldn't understand how being under all this rain and lightning and thunder and stormy clouds hiding away the sun, Yevon, the godly sun, could possibly make him smile that like. She didn't know why he was, but the smile sure made her feel good.
"See what?" she screeched back, tightening her grip on his hand as she stumbled over a rock. "The clouds? The lightning? The dead, black, ground?"
"Sure!" Gippal cried back, stopping in their walking. They were now standing beside each other, but Rikku was reassured when he didn't let go of her hand as he stood there watching her with his unwavering eye. "Why're you so scared?" he suddenly asked softly. Rikku blinked.
"I told you. Brother—"
"No. Not Brother." He bent down closer to look at her, and Rikku recoiled slightly at his closeness. "There's something else…" His sentence drifted off as he lifted a finger to light push her bangs away from her eyes. She felt herself shaking at his touch, and her mouth immediately went dry.
"Nothing else!" she cried, stumbling backwards and ripping her hand out of his. Lightning crashed only a short ways away from them. She shrieked, her eyes livid with terror as she cowered, bending over and hiding her head with her arms. She heard herself whimpering, she felt the tears flowing…
"That's the tenth lightning bolt since we've been here." Gippal's voice was right beside her ear again. She flinched, but didn't move. She hated him for dragging her out of her tent to face this…horror.
"So what?" she snapped, keeping her eyes snapped shut.
"This is only the fourth one you've noticed. Only the fourth one you've screamed at."
Rikku felt her heart speed up, felt her hands grow dry and hot even though she was standing beneath the rain. "Huh?" she squeaked. "Really?"
Gippal grinned down at her. "Really!" She felt him slap her back and the grab her arm to straighten her up. "You're makin' progress, Cid's Girl!" He ruffled her soaking hair, and she couldn't help but grin at the boy who was helping her get over her fear.
"Thanks," she replied softly, casting her glance to the ground.
Progress.
With what?
Day Six"TWO MORE DAYS!" Rikku screamed happily, bouncing on top of Gippal's sleeping form. He cried out as she giggled, crawling backwards from him. He rubbed at his eye, wincing.
"Man, what'd you do that for? Kneeing me in the stomach like that…Spira, Cid's Girl!"
"Rikku," she chided, but she didn't really care. Only two more days left!
"Only two days?" Gippal sat up, alarmed. Rikku glanced at him curiously, letting the light pattering of rain calm her down.
"Yea…"
"Well then! We gotta get out there!"
"There?" Rikku repeated, tossing a piece of jerky to Gippal who caught it with ease. She shivered at the thought, grabbing at the nearest blanket to keep her legs warm. "You mean…out there?"
"Yea! You don't have much time left to get over your fear! Come on! Up! Out!"
"I—I have to—go…" She jerked her head to the back of the tent, trying to think of a way to stall him.
"Oh. All right. I'll wait."
Darn. Not what she had been hoping for. Smiling at him timidly to try and hide her fear and fury, she crouched through the flap and was relieved to see the sky was only grey, not black.
Grey.
Not black.
Why was that? She swore all the other mornings she had gotten up it had still been black, even if the rain wasn't as heavy or lightning didn't strike as often. "Am I…getting used to it?" she asked herself softly, rubbing her eyes to try and get the black clouds back. They didn't come. Grey still rolled above her, crackling and booming and spitting out rain.
"Hurry up Cid's Girl!" a voice chided her. Rikku scuttled back to do her business, and when she came back to the front Gippal was already outside, surveying the Plains. He glanced back at her, that familiar exhilarated grin on his face. "Ready to face the wild?"
"More like my death," Rikku hissed at him, brushing the light raindrops off of her arms as she walked over to meet him. "What do you want me to do, anyway? Stand here?"
"No, no, no." He waggled a finger at her, and Rikku felt the sudden urge to touch his golden hair. She froze at the thought, forcing herself to stay calm and not scream in confusion. "We're going on a walk."
"A walk? Here?" Rikku felt her legs beginning to quake. "But by the time we start walking…"
"The storm will be here." Gippal looked up at the clouds, grinning at them. "I love storms," he told her suddenly, not looking away from the clouds. He ran a hand through his hair as he said this, and Rikku felt that familiar urge to touch it.
She snorted at his words. "You're crazy then."
He ignored her. "They have a kind of beauty to them, you know? The lightning dances, the thunder makes the air shake…" He laughed suddenly, shaking his head and looking over at her. "Sorry, I'm getting poetic. Let's look around."
Rikku felt her feet sticking to the ground. She glanced up at him, eyes fearful. "I—I can't," she whispered hoarsely. She could feel the wind growing, brushing lightly at her clothes. Gippal watched her, lips pursed.
"Fine," he said, grabbing her hand and dragging her away. "Ya know Cid's Girl, if you wanted to hold my hand you could have just said."
Rikku shoved him in the arm with the other hand as the rain started to grow heavier, and the wind started to blow stronger. "As if, Gippal!"
He suddenly changed the subject again, not letting go of her hand but not letting her stop walking either. "Tell me something."
"Something?" Rikku asked back with a giggle. She forced herself to keep at his fast pace, glancing up at the sky occasionally and feeling that familiar dread attack her. "Anything?"
"Anything," he confirmed.
"I fix machina," she spurted randomly, trying hard to focus on the task at hand and not the lightning. She knew what Gippal was doing when she heard thunder rolling in, and she was grateful for it.
"I make machina," Gippal replied waspishly, smiling tauntingly at her. "What else?"
Rikku pursed her lips in thought. "I helped defeat Sin?"
"Old news. Something else."
Rikku glowered at the back of his head, but he wouldn't stop walking, wouldn't stop holding her hand. It felt nice and Rikku hated herself for thinking that. "I thought I was helping the Al Bhed by fighting Sin," Rikku said hurriedly, blushing. "I thought I would help us come out into the public, to not be…I don't know…ostracized? I just thought I was helping." Her last words sounded so dejected, so sad, that she knew it in her heart that was what she truly had wanted. And…it had failed. "Selfish, I know."
At these words, Gippal stopped. He didn't move, and Rikku watched his back almost nervously. His hand was tense in hers and the recognizable apprehension was growing inside of her. Not to mention she saw a lightning bolt shatter the sky in the distance. Gippal whirled around suddenly, his eye narrowed almost angrily. Rikku blinked, surprised, into his angry face. "Don't you ever say that again," he snapped, voice low.
"Say…what?"
"That you were being selfish. Cid's Girl, come on!" Gippal's hand flew from hers, and instead ran through his hair, frustrated. Rikku felt her defences flare up.
"Come on what, Gippal?"
The rain was coming down hard now, blurring her vision. She felt raindrops falling from her hand into her face, her hands, her body and clothes. Her hair was dripping and flopping into her eyes, but she didn't care. She was staring at Gippal, knowing he wasn't the only one angry now. Her hands were stuck on her hips in a defiant manner. Gippal's hands were just clenched together, his breathing ragged.
"You saved the bloody WORLD, Cid's Girl! You saved us! Everyone! Not just the damn Al Bhed, but everyone. You brought back another Calm! Yevon, give yourself a little credit! God dammit you make me frustrated!"
Rikku felt tears suddenly welling in her eyes. Crash. Fizzle. Pop. Boom. She ignored all the noises, her focus narrowed on Gippal. "I didn't do anything," she snapped back. "It was all Yunie! It was all—" her voice got caught in her throat. She clutched it, surprised.
"It was all who?" Gippal snapped savagely.
"It was all…Tidus."
A silence fell over them. "Who?" Gippal asked stupidly. Rikku stared at him, open-mouthed.
"You don't KNOW who he is?"
"What, was he traveling with you guys or something?"
"Of COURSE he was! He was the one that—that—" Rikku burst into unexpected sobs right then and there. She ignored the lightning and the thunder and the fear that was taking over her body. She ignored the horrified expression on Gippal's face and the feeling of emptiness she had without being able to hold his hand. She ignored the fact she had nowhere to go and that Yuna was probably wondering where she was and that for the first time in her life, Gippal was being nice to her. All she remembered was Tidus, the first non-Al Bhed who had accepted her and who had become her friend. Tidus, the only one who had helped her try to save Yuna from death. Tidus, jumping off the ship to save Spira…Tidus, who disappeared to save them all. Tidus, who loved Yuna and she loved him but he had jumped anyway. He had jumped because Yuna needed him to and he would have done anything Yuna asked of him in a heartbeat. She just remembered that he was gone and was never coming back, and she was alone forever and had never really helped save Spira in any way at all.
"Hey, hey, hey. Lyms tufh, lyms tufh," Gippal murmured into her ear. She glanced up at him, tears steaming down her face. She could barely see through the hazy rain, but she knew he was practically nose-to-nose with her. She knew he was truly worried by his eye. She knew she was sitting on the ground, her legs covered with mud. She knew Gippal looked very cute with his hair all wet from the rain. She knew he would never truly understand how lost she felt in the world, because he had a job and had a purpose, unlike Rikku. She knew he was her enemy and that she would hate him forever just for being his arrogant self, but she didn't care. She watched him, unblinking, and sniffed.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled softly, sniffling again. An invisible smile formed on Gippal's lips.
"Don't be sorry," he whispered back, his crouched body so very, very close to Rikku. "I knew there was something else wrong."
Rikku blinked. Now she realized what he had been talking about earlier about her being scared. "Yea," she agreed softly, trying to smile but finding her lips wobbled too much, "Yea, there's something else wrong."
And then Gippal lifted her chin up with one finger. She felt her heart beating faster, faster, faster, and she was afraid it might explode. And then slowly, softly, Gippal leaned in closer through the small space they had had between them and kissed her gently on the lips. She was shocked at how it felt. Warm, even though they were in the middle of a frigid storm. Pleasant, even though he was her enemy. Comforting, even though no words were being said. She could taste salt from her tears and water from the rain on his face and she finally, finally, got the chance to touch his golden locks.
It felt good. Very good.
One day left.
Day SevenRikku was exhausted as she slowly started to pack her blankets away the next day, the last day. Gippal was out on the plains somewhere, having mumbled something about his whereabouts early in the morning. She couldn't remember, but ever since he left she couldn't think.
Last night had been awkward. He had gone and huddled in a corner of the tent, unspeaking after the two had walked back silently to the tent. She too crawled under the blankets and she too, like Gippal, didn't fall asleep for hours because of all the thoughts racing through her mind.
Gippal. Kiss. Loneliness. Last day. Al Bhed. Complete. Feeling. Warmth. Cold. Lightning. Fear. Acceptance. Change. Everything clouded her mind, her eyes, her movements. She stumbled numerous times in trying to roll up her blankets the proper way.
"Last day of cold meat," she pronounced softly, nibbling on her last piece of jerky, just like on the first day. Nibble. Sip. Nibble. Sip. Again and again and again until it was all gone and Rikku knew, finally, truly, she was done here. She had completed her task…somewhat. She could stand lightning; she could listen to thunder and not cringe too much. She had gotten over the terrifying fear she had held before…all thanks to Gippal. If he hadn't come, she would have hidden in her tent the entire time and sprinted out seven days later.
Rikku heard a noise from the front of tent. Seconds later, Gippal crawled in with a big circle under his eye and his hair slightly mussed from sleep and the light rain of the morning.
"I finally get to leave the smelly wet tent," Rikku joked, trying hard to lighten the tense mood. Gippal smiled weakly at her, and bent over to help pack away her blankets. She hesitated before continuing with her own, but finally decided to do so.
"So, what's your job?" she asked pleasantly, trying to act as if nothing had happened between them. Rikku didn't dare look at his face in case she felt the kiss all over again just like she had all night.
"It's a job. With machina. And fiends." he replied shortly, but he wouldn't go any further. Rikku tried to prod him into talking more, but his lips remained sealed tightly, although a hint of a smile could be seen in his eye.
"Tell me something else then," she supplied.
"Something?" he asked teasingly. "Anything?"
"Anything," she replied solemnly. They both knew they were re-enacting their conversation from the evening before, but neither said it outright.
"Okay," he said slowly, thinking as he rolled up the blankets. "I hope I helped you get over your fear."
"You did!" Rikku cried emphatically, nodding excitedly. Gippal smiled warmly at her, and she felt her heart glow.
"Then I did my duty." He stuffed the blanket in the bag and sighed. "So, should we roll up the tent?"
"Yea," she answered. "Hey, where did you go this morning?" she asked again, stepping outside with him. He glanced back at her quickly, but then proceeded to take apart the tent.
"Oh you know. Around," He said vaguely. "Just wanted time to think." Rikku needed no further explanation.
The two continued to pack away the tent in silence, only cursing silently if they made a mistake or helping each other with short instructions. Even though things seemed to be tense between them, Rikku knew why. It had been that way from the beginning and it would probably be that way for a while. But inside she felt like glowing. Lightning snapped in the background and she only flinched a bit, and maybe whimpered. No more screaming and running and hiding and sobbing. She had something. Something small, but it was the small things that led to the big accomplishments.
Finally, the tent was packed away and Rikku felt a bit sad to see it gone. The space was now empty, devoid of any Al Bhed trademark. It was just dirt, mud, rain and rock. She glanced over at Gippal, who motioned for her to follow him back to Guadosalam.
"Weren't you going the other way?" she asked him, trotting to catch up with him.
"I am. But I'm just walking you back." He didn't smile, but Rikku felt happy anyway.
As they got closer and closer she began to feel less excited. Where now? Gippal was going. She'd be completely alone again, and it was no fun exploring Spira alone. And Gippal. Yevon, she'd miss him. She only got five days with him. That wasn't fair! But before she could mentally whine any more, they were there. They were there too quickly, to abruptly. The lightning and thunder evaporated as they tromped on the rooted ground. Bright colors flashed before their eyes, but they both unconsciously stopped in the tunnel. She glanced back to see the dark sky of the Thunder Plains, not sad to see it go at all. Finally, she turned to watch Gippal, who was watching her too. She cleared her throat. Gippal coughed. Awkward.
"I'm glad you helped me," Rikku began, her voice earnest. "I really am! Without you I would have failed. Completely."
Gippal smiled. "Yea?"
"Yes!"
"That's good." She watched him dig the toe of his boot into the ground nervously. She could have laughed. Gippal? Nervous? She had never known him to be like that!
"Augh, this is so weird!" she suddenly blurted, causing Gippal to glance up at her in alarm. "I hate being in weird situations. Yea, it happened! We kissed! Big deal, it doesn't change who we are, right? What we are? Enemies? Acquaintances? Friends?" Rikku left the words hanging, as if allowing him to weigh the options.
Gippal leaned in and kissed her, grabbing her face in his hands. She started, alarmed, but didn't pull away. She melted into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck. Who cared what happened? She was just blissfully happy in that moment. She never wanted to leave. She didn't want to face the unknown without someone by her side. She never had. She wanted to take Gippal with her, so she could have more happy moments. She didn't want to think about Tidus or Sin or Yuna. She didn't want to know that stepping outside would mean no more evil, all good, nothing to fight. She didn't want to think about how empty she would be, how lonely and lifeless and useless. She was just happy, oh so happy, to be in the moment.
Gippal finally pulled away, breathing raggedly; his hands didn't leave her face. He looked directly into her eyes with his one, his gaze a fiery intense one. "Definitely more than friends."
Rikku grinned up at him, heart beating wildly. "Yea," she managed to strangle out. "Definitely."
"So. See you around, Cid's Girl?" Gippal asked softly. Rikku hesitated, and then nodded.
"Yea…see you around," she replied quietly, blinking back tears and letting the nickname slide this once.
He hugged her once, fiercely, and then strode off down the tunnel and back towards the Thunder Plains. He didn't look back. Rikku hadn't expected him to.
Taking in a big gulp of air, she whirled around to look up at Guadosalam. She wouldn't look back either. One step. Then another. Three steps. The another.
She had accomplished something great to her, something that had been haunting her since a child. She had worried alone, she had worried together, and she had met a different Gippal; the one who was sweet and worried and tried to help her, tried to thank her for helping to save Spira. He believed so strongly in her, in her and her abilities, that she missed him terribly already.
Five steps. Then another. Seven steps.
Seven.
She had made it.
She had done it.
And she could keep doing it. She could keep moving on.
Then another step.
Nine steps.
She could survive it, one step at a time.
Fin