DISCLAIMER: If I did own them I'd be living well off on royalty and copyright fees now would I?

EDITOR: Shiranai Seito

BETA-READERS: Aya-san and Aeserp

MAGICAL CONSULTANT: Darkangel Hime

Support Group: The Otaku Council in the yahoo group The Gripe Vines

Review Replies: Still in my blog I'm afraid. Links are in my bio. This chapter is kinda short.

Yes. I'm alive! Alive! After a loong wait...I updated. So please don't send those bomb and death threats anymore. I've had enough of bombs from where I am...and I've seen enough dead bodies to last me a life time thank you. Writers block. Baaaaadddd writers block. And then some...sigh

Read and hopefully enjoy. Now excuse me but I must go leave reviews to the authors whose works I also admire. I have a lot of reading; reviewing and catching up to do…ahehehe…

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WORD WATCH:

Aoi tsuki – Blue moon. The Japanese poetic way of saying true love/ first love/ love.

Dakara/Dakedo – Therefore…/ So…

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READING NOTES ['Cause we can't use different fonts and now the spacing is screwed up ]:

'Text' – notes

Text – thoughts only

"Text" - Voices in your head [reader or character].

/Text/ - telepathy

(Text) - Talking or arguing with your self or another personality inside you

[Text] – English translations to foreign phrases-in this chapter the foreign words are Japanese

- Paragraph breaks [double spaced] Signifies the shift from one scene or act.

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WARNINGS: You're reading my fic. I think that's a cause of alarm since that would mean trying to figure out what is going on in my twisted little mind which has a tendency to go on tangents...oooh...yes...I'll have a choco...ahem...I mean...where was I...? ;; This is unbeta-ed so any mistakes are mine…

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Chapter 15: Sono Aoku Kooru Hitomi

Those Cold Blue Eyes


Nani
mo nai... [Not a thing is here...] Nani mo nai…

Only Emptiness. Void. No...not void...not emptiness...just Nothing.... Here...in the depths of his own mind... Cray...his human name...but he wasn't human anymore...was he...? No...he made a bargain with a god... to save her... to kill her...

NO! No...I can never hate her.... my love ... my kindred soul... I have to find another way...she is my...soul... I cannot...cannot kill her...

(Unmei no ai; umareranai kara musubareita koibito-tachi, sore ha amari ni hoamasu ni iru gensouda... Genjitsu ha musu no guuzen ga owari mashiteiru. Musubareru koto ga areba wakareru koto soaru- sore dake no koto ja nai ka! Dakara, boku hashinjinai... Unmei mo... Ai mo...)

The voice that spoke in his mind was soft and almost musical, like a small stream that flowed gently over smooth stones. But the soft voice was in direct contrast to the harsh words. Touda...He and Touda were as one and he understood what the god was saying...shared most of the god's knowledge...or was he Touda...? Who was he now...? Where do one end and the other begin...?

[Predestined love; even before birth, two souls are fated to find themselves in each others arms... such a foolish idea, a wasted fantasy. There's no such thing as fate; coincidence, nothing more. There is no way to connect "souls," and anyone who believes such a stupid notion is inferior- these things cannot happen! So, I refuse to believe...in destiny and...in love...]

You're wrong, Touda. You believe in Destiny. That's why you are here. That's why you saved me. That's...why...

(Don't be a fool Cray. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgment. I believe in Destiny not as you define it. Time is meaningless to us Immortals. What you say Destiny is merely the effect of a cause. Fate is nothing more than a series of events that will eventually lead to a certain conclusion. But herein lies the Paradox that is Free will. Dakara...)

What happened Touda? What happened to you?

The god chose not to answer him. Cray continued speaking...pleading...

Hoshi no inochi nara nagai kedo itsu made mo onaji kono hibi ga kurikaesu wake ja nai. Ashita wa dare ni mo mienai.

[The stars may live for a long time, but that doesn't mean that the same days will repeat over and over forever. No one can see into tomorrow.]

And then as an after thought, he added; Not even the House of Reed can see all of the Tomorrows.

For a moment there was silence as god and man contemplated on what the other had said. Then Cray spoke again to the god-pleading with him to understand what he was going through...hoping that the god will find or know another way so he won't have to kill her...

Tooku wo mite'ru sono manazashi wa kokoro no naka no koe wo kiite'ru mada aoi tsuki wo dakishimete

[The way you gaze at a spot far away means you're listening to the voice of your heart and still holding the blue moon.]

Touda seemed to flinched at Cray's words but was silent.

Itsuka wagamama na utagoe ga kimi ni todoite sonna shunkan ni kono sekai wa kawatte yuku

[One day, a selfish voice humming a song will reach you. And in that very moment this world is going to change...]

The god was still silent. Cray felt a lump in his throat. Is there no way he can reach out to this one...? He wanted the god to understand...

Kawaita kaze ga fuku machi wa kogoete-iru ikutsu no kisetsu ga sotto oto mo naku sugisatta no darou

[A dry breeze is blowing. The city is getting cold. I wonder how many seasons have passed without even a sound.]

Yukikau hito wa mina omoi nimotsu seotte tooku ni yureru kagerou no naka ni ashita wo mitsukeru

[All of the people coming and going bear heavy burdens, searching for tomorrow within the heat haze wavering in the distance.]

Kono te wo koboreochiru suna no you na kanjou ano toki mune ni sasatta kotoba ga fui ni uzuku kedo

[Feelings like sand falling through my hands...Back then, the words that pierced my heart suddenly started to throb with pain, but...]

Cray felt a renewed sense of hope and determination even though the god was ignoring him. He didn't know why but he couldn't care less.

Hatenai yoru wo kazoe nagara jibun no kakera sagashite-ita ushinau hodo ni kono omoi ga tashika ni natte'ku ima nara kitto aruite yukeru doko made mo

[I've searched for pieces of myself, counting the endless nights all the while. These feelings are becoming so certain I almost lose myself. Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far...]

Silence now. Touda waited patiently until Cray returned to dreamless sleep inside his own mind. He understood the boy's confusion, his pain...his suffering... his...love. A long time ago...he too was forced to take the life of someone he loved...

A flock of doves took off noisily and Touda found himself looking at them as they soared off to the blue sky.

(Jiyuu ni kaze kitte tori-tachi wa doko e yuku no? Sugoshita jikan no you ni onaji basho ni modorenai.)

[I wonder where the birds are flying off to, as they freely slice through the wind. One can't return to the same place as it once was in days gone by...]

It is not that I don't believe in Destiny, Cray...it is that I want to spare you of all that pain... but...

But nothing was as simple as it was before…and that was the bitter irony.

...What happened to the days of Innocence?

He stood up from where he was sitting in the sidewalk cafe. It was time for him to come back and let the Families know that he was alive…and…to do again what he did centuries ago that cost him his freedom.

People nearby turned to look at this striking young man as he made his way out to the streets but something in his eyes made them look away uneasily. Those cold blue eyes did not look like it belonged to a young man at all...


Harry woke up to intensely streaming sunlight on his room window and a headache that could only be describe as a huge machine pounding gigantic metal and stone pillars to the earth to provide support for the skyscraper that will soon rise up.

He tried to rise up from his bed but his room suddenly decided to reverse its floor and ceiling while the walls decided to do a mean tango. He fell from his bed with a thud that did not do wonders for his headache.

The pain caused him to curl up into a fetal position clutching his head. He bit back a half scream and moan that was threatening to come out of him. And then without warning, the pain subsided to dull throb that had been with him the past few weeks. It was a low even sensation, like a bee incessantly buzzing in his head.

He tried to stand again, this time with much better results. A squawk from Hedgewig made him winced.

"Hedgewig, not too loud, okay girl?" Harry murmured softly as his long fingers moved to open the cage. The white owl cooed to its master in a worried manner and Harry tried to suppress a laugh.

"I'm all right. Now go."

Harry could swear that the bird did not believe him. Nevertheless, the owl squeezed through the new iron bars on his window and into the sun. With one last backward glance to Harry, Hedgewig took off to hunt for the morning.

There are a lot of times that Harry wished that he was free as a bird. That like Hedgewig he could squeezed through the barred window and soar. Except he wasn't a bird and he wasn't light enough to soar the skies. Not him. Not with the people who weighed heavy on his conscience.

He cocked his ear and was relieved to know that the rest of the occupants in the house were still asleep. It was still early morning after all. He could have his peace for a short time. Crossing his room he let himself out quietly and tiptoed his way to the bathroom. The cool water that he splashed on his face seemed to ease his throbbing head. A quick glance at the calendar nearby and he realized that in a few days he would be celebrating his 16th birthday. That would also mean that his behemoth of a cousin would ALSO be celebrating his birthday.

"Uh oh." Harry murmured. Just what he needed. More trouble. Dudley would be impossible on that day. And Aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon? Hate surged from the deepest part of him surprising him. Suddenly, the headache returned full force and he crumpled.

He was in that position when Aunt Petunia found him. Her scream instantly brought Uncle Vernon to her side.

Harry was in a daze. The pain was everything. He couldn't see anymore and the noise that his aunt and uncle were making was only making it worse.

"Shut up..." he pleaded pitifully. Even the simple act of talking was painful.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY BOY?" Uncle Vernon grabbed him and hauled him up to his feet. Harry had added a few inches so he was now practically level with his uncle but he was still pretty much skin and bones.

His uncle was livid. He shook Harry forcefully and the boy's glasses slipped from his nose.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR DAMNED FRIENDS SAY BUT YOU WILL NOT TALK LIKE THAT TO ME!"

Rage somewhat dulled the pain. Along with the hate that he was feeling, Harry somehow found the strength to yell back to his uncle, "YOU WILL NOT CALL THEM THAT!" A sob escaped from his throat. Those damned friends that his uncle called were what he considered his only family. He'd be damned if he let this moron get away with that remark.

Uncle Vernon looked like he'd been slapped. All at once he grunted then dropped Harry unceremoniously on the floor. Then he doubled over. Harry scrambled away just in time to avoid being pinned by the man's huge bulk. He didn't understand what was happening.

"Monster!" Aunt Petunia screamed at him. "I knew it! I KNEW IT!" Her voice became shrill as she wrung her hands and came to her husband's aid. "What have you done you…? DEMON!"

Harry blinked, not sure at what just happened. He stared and for some reason, Aunt Petunia seemed to turn into something not quite human in his eyes. Oh god! I'm still dreaming! This isn't happening!

Petunia's voice grew more high-pitched by the passing second until Harry clamped both hands to his ears and screamed for her to shut up. Instantly he felt something inside him flex forcefully-like a whip being cracked. The house seemed to jump at its very foundations snapping Harry back to reality. All over the place, glass and china broke to pieces.

There was an eerie silence and he looked around. Dudley was cowering near the door of his room. Uncle Vernon was being held by Aunt Petunia. Both were staring at him with...what...fear?

It was Aunt Petunia who spoke first. Her voice sounded very tired and yet Harry could still feel the disgust in them. "My idiot for a sister had a monster for a child."

A weariness that Harry could not understand came over him and he leaned back against the wall. Monster...is that what he was...?

"Then you wouldn't mind if he lives with us for a while?"

Everyone turned to the new voice. Harry felt his eyes grow wide as he stared at the person standing at the foot of the stairs. She was easily the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. Her skin was as smooth as alabaster and her long red hair was tied back in a braid. A sweet smile was on her face. She didn't seemed concerned at all with the scene that he knew she had witnessed.

"Who are you? And how did you get in?" Petunia snarled.

"We let ourselves in," an old wizened man said behind her.

Harry could feel joy bubbling up inside him, "MOODY!" He scrambled up to his feet only to experience a bad dizzy spell.

The beautiful woman continued, "I know someone who kept being called a monster by her brother." She smiled, seemingly amused at that memory. Then she looked at Harry and somehow he felt warmth and solace in those honey brown eyes. The woman climbed up the stairs and through Harry's mind she seemed like she glided up rather than used the stairs the conventional way.

When she reached out to touch him he flinched and moved away. Somehow the idea of someone so beautiful and pure touching him made him feel ashamed. He was unclean. He was responsible for the deaths of many people. She would only soil herself if she touched him.

"Shh...Harry...it's alright," she said in a soft voice. Cool hands touched his feverish forehead and it was like clear, cool rain pouring over him. He felt so tired. He just wanted to sleep and get away from all the madness.

"Yes...sleep. It's alright...we're here..."

Her soft voice lulled him to sleep. His last thoughts were how warm she was, how she smelled like milk and honey and how everything was going to be all right.

TBC

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K.H.: If anyone notices…this is a songfic of sorts. My writer's block was so bad I resorted to using an amalgam of song lyrics to create this chapter. It was still tricky to put them all together and have them make sense while adhering to the plot that I had in mind—kind of like a collage or a quilt. Songs are taken from 2 animes: Gensomaden Saiyuki and Weiss Kreuz. I still am not satisfied with this chapter and. I admit that my work is rather rough but I'll refine it when I'm done. My main concern is to get the story out and hopefully get good feedbacks on how to improve my writing. I just hope it doesn't suck as much as I think it is…sheepish grin. I am glad that this is a fanfic though so that I can take certain liberties that would have otherwise been frowned on in other literary genres.

Still…I manage to tie up the OCs with YnM. HP with CCS. Big breath Now…to start working on the next chapter. Hope I won't take so long… crosses her fingers

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