Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I have any association with the Gilmore Girls or any of its characters. Dreaming about them is a totally different thing…
Chapter 28- Never Good Enough
1985
Lorelai watched Luke as he moved the food around on his plate aimlessly. He had been out of it since the mishap with their fathers. Luke and William still hadn't heard from Richard so they weren't sure if they were out of another job. Lorelai assumed that was the problem and offered to talk to her father for them. But she knew better. She knew something else was occupying her boyfriend's mind, but she didn't want to press him for information.
"So how do you like your dinner?" Lorelai asked, breaking the silence. Luke remained clueless to his girlfriend's question. "Sookie made the actual meal. I just tossed the salad." Nothing. "I know you don't like red meat so I made the salad knowing you'd eat the salad- which you're not." Still nothing. Lorelai sighed and slammed her fork down onto her plate. "Luke!"
Finally, Luke looked up. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?" he asked.
"Babe, are you ok?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You seem kinda out of it."
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"Practice and work tiring?"
"Um hm." Lorelai nodded and lowered her head, returning to her meal without talking to Luke. Suddenly, she felt his hand on top of hers and looked up. He smiled wearily at her. "Thank you for dinner. It's great."
Just then there was a knock at the door. Luke was about to get up to see who it was, but Lorelai stopped him. "I'll get it. You finish your dinner."Luke nodded and Lorelai went to answer the door. She was surprised to see who it was. "Daddy, what are you doing here?"
"Good evening Lorelai," Richard greeted. "I was hoping I could speak with you for a moment. I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day."
"Daddy, can we do this some other time? I'm kinda in the middle of dinner."
"Oh. I'm sorry to interrupt. I'll just be going then. I need to stop by the Danes home to apologize to Luke."
"He's here."
"I'm sorry?"
"He's here Daddy. Luke is here having dinner with me and Rory."
"Oh. Well then. Please tell him I'm sorry. I may have overreacted the other night."
"No. You acted like anyone else would have, but Dad, I really need to go."
"Ok. Just one more thing. I wanted to invite you and Luke to dinner at the house Friday night."
"Oh, I don't think…"
"We'll be there," Luke said as he suddenly appeared behind Lorelai. He stuck his hand out to Richard. "Mr. Gilmore, nice to see you again. I'm afraid our last meeting wasn't so pleasant."
"I'm afraid not," Richard laughed as he shook Luke's hand. "And please, call me Richard."
"With all do respect sir, but under the certain circumstances I think I'll stick to Mr. Gilmore."
"If you wish. Well, I'll let you two get back to your dinner. I'll see you Friday at seven. Enjoy the rest of your evening."
"You too sir."
"Night Dad," Lorelai said. She shut the door as Richard headed down the path. She turned around and glared at Luke. "What are you thinking!"
"What are you talking about?" Luke asked as he headed back to the table.
"My father invited us to dinner!"
"Yeah and I told him we'd go."
"Exactly! Why would you do a crazy thing like that?"
"What's your problem? I have to meet them sooner or later."
"Yeah, but you see, you've already met my dad."
"Do you not want me to meet your parents or something?"
"No, honey, of course I do." Lorelai sat across from Luke. "I know, given time, Daddy will eventually like you…a little. My mother, on the other hand, is a whole different story."
"I'm assuming it's bad?"
"She hates me so I'm pretty sure she'll hate you."
"Gee, thanks for the encouragement."
Present Day
"One more," Lorelai begged as she followed Luke around the diner.
"No," Luke stated firmly.
"Just one."
"I said no."
"A little, teeny, tiny bit. Please?"
"Who hear heard me say 'no'?"
"One cup and I'm done for the day.
Luke huffed. "I"ve heard that one before." Luke turned around and bumped into Lorelai. "Lorelai, stop it. Quit following me."
"But I need coffee!"
Luke rolled his eyes and walked past Lorelai to take another customer's order. "You need to be medicated and tossed in a padded room."
Lorelai faked hurt and shock. "My husband, the father of my children, wants to put in the loony bin. What are our children going to say?"
"They're going to say 'Daddy, what took you so long?'"
"I want coffee!"
"I want you to leave me alone!"
Kelly laughed to herself as she watched her parents act like themselves for once in the past year from her place at the counter. The playful banter and childish antics between her mother and father had returned. The pain of the loss of their youngest child had become a distant memory in their minds if even for a moment. Kelly returned to her food and continued to listen to her parents argue. It was coming to a close and she heard apologizes being made. Oh great. They're gonna kiss, Kelly thought to herself. She glanced up and sure enough, her parents stood a few feet in front of her in a full out make out session.
"Ah jeez, gross!" Kelly said loudly. "Not in front of your kid please!" Luke reached out and put his hand over Kelly's eyes. She laughed and swatted his hand away. "Ha, ha, ha. You're hilarious Dad." The couple pulled apart.
"Whatcha working on kid?" Lorelai asked.
"I have to memorize a poem for English class and then write a paper on how it pertains to life."
"What poem did you chose?"
"We don't choose. We were assigned poems."
"Well what were you assigned?" Luke asked. Kelly handed her father the piece of paper with the poem printed on it. "Oh. Um…I don't do poetry." Lorelai playfully elbowed Luke in the gut.
Just then, Patty walked into the diner. She spotted the couple and rushed over. "You're both here, good," she said. "Babette and I have been losing our minds for the past week."
"Just for the past week?" Luke mumbled. Lorelai elbowed him again.
"About what Patty?" Lorelai asked politely.
"About what you two plan on doing," Patty replied in a 'duh' tone.
"Doing for…"
"You're anniversary!"
"Oh," Luke and Lorelai said together in a flat tone. They knew what was coming and it had completely slipped their minds. Before either of them could say something, Patty continued.
"There's, of course, the party, but I wasn't sure if you were still planning to renew your vows."
"Renew their vows?" Kelly asked looking from Patty to her parents. A smile crept across the teenage girl's face. "I didn't know you guys were going to renew your vows!"
"I completely forgot that we said that," Lorelai remarked, turning to Luke. "Do you remember that day?" she asked, playing with the collar of his flannel shirt.
"Of course I do," Luke smiled, forgetting the other people in the diner. "You said I wouldn't want you in twenty years so I said on our twentieth anniversary, we'd renew our vows so you knew how much I loved you."
"Yes you did." Lorelai smirked and pulled Luke in for a kiss.
"Guys!" Kelly shouted, breaking her parents apart. "Focus!"
"I had an idea," Patty said excitedly. "Instead of you just renewing your vows, why don't we redo the whole ceremony? Flower girls, ring bearers, bride's maids, groom's men…the whole nine yards! So what do you say? How would you two like to get married all over again?"
1985
"We don't have to go," Lorelai stated as she and Luke sat in his truck parked in front of the Gilmore home.
"Lorelai, we're already here," Luke reminded her.
"Yes, but they don't know that. We can drive back home."
"Lorelai…"
"Luke."
"We're going to have dinner with your parents."
"Gah!"
Luke shook his head and got out of the truck. He made his way around and opened Lorelai's door. "Get out."
"But…"
"Out Lorelai!"
"Jeez, I'm getting out. Keep your pants on." Lorelai smiled mischievously. "Unless you wanna take them off."
"I will take them off." Lorelai's eyes lit up, thinking they were about to get out of dinner. "After we have dinner with your parents. Hand me the baby bag and the baby."
Lorelai handed Luke the baby bag and then Rory in her car seat. "I can carry something too."
"I got it," Luke said as they approached the front door. "Ring the bell Lorelai."
"So demanding today," she teased as she pressed the button. A minute later, the maid answered the door. "Hi. We're here to see Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore. I'm their daughter. Emily's probably told you I died or don't exist."
"Lorelai," Luke said in a warning tone.
"Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore are waiting in the livingroom," the maid said. "May I take your coats?"
"Sure. Thank you," Lorelai said as she handed the maid her coat. "Luke, give her your coat."
"I can't. I'm holding stuff," Luke said.
"I told you I'd carry something."
"Just show me where the livingroom is."
Luke followed Lorelai to the livingroom where the Gilmores were waiting for them. Richard was the first to notice them and stood to greet them. "Luke, Lorelai, you're here," he said with a smile. He walked over to them and shook Luke's free hand.
"We said we'd be here Dad," Lorelai remarked.
"I know that Lorelai. I just wasn't expecting you so early."
"We're five minutes early. How is that…"
"Good evening Mr. Gilmore," Luke interrupted, extending his free hand to Richard.
"Good evening Luke," Richard smiled, shaking Luke's hand. "Seems you have your hands full. Lorelai, why didn't you help him?"
"I…" Lorelai started.
"Anita! Come get the bags from Mr. Danes!" The maid hurried into the room and took the bags from Luke. "And please bring my granddaughter to the nursery." The maid nodded and did as she was asked. Luke grabbed the baby monitor from the bag before the maid took it.
"Hello Mrs. Gilmore," Luke said, holding his hand out to her.
When Emily said nothing, Richard stepped in. "Come, come. Have a seat you two."
Luke followed Lorelai to the empty couch. Emily said nothing to the couple. She simply stared at them with her disapproving glare. From the look she was getting from Richard, Lorelai knew he was waiting for a proper greeting. "Oh. Hi Dad," Lorelai smiled.
"Good evening Lorelai," Richard said.
Lorelai turned to Emily with a unenthusiastic look. "Mother."
"Lorelai," Emily said in the same condescending tone.
Richard handed the young couple some sodas and sat beside his wife. Luke and Lorelai sat on the couch beside each other as Richard and Emily sat in the couch across from them. It was so quiet you could hear the ticking of the mantle clock. It was a full five minutes before Richard decided he couldn't take the deafening silence and spoke.
"So Luke," Richard said, catching everyone's attention. "How is work?"
"It's, um, ok," Luke replied, his mind obviously had wandered.
"Luke's father owns a hardware store in Stars Hollow and they are going to be renovating my office," Richard told his wife.
"Delightful," Emily said sarcastically. She took a sip of her drink and rolled her eyes.
Lorelai quickly caught on to her mother and was about to speak, but again, Richard interjected. "How about your father? How is he?"
Lorelai then noticed the slight twitch in Luke's right hand. "He's doing…ok," Luke replied, hiding the painful truth from Richard and more importantly, Lorelai.
"Well that's wonderful. Tell him I say hello."
"I will." Luke forced a smile and then looked down. He suddenly became very interested in the rim of his glass.
"You need a refill there babe?" Lorelai asked, sensing there was something wrong. Luke shook his head. In the corner of her eye, Lorelai could see the distasteful look on her mother's face that said he were no good and not good enough. She wanted nothing more than to prove her wrong about Luke. "You know," she said, putting her hand on his knee, "Luke is in the top five of his class. Right honey?" Luke looked up at her and raised a brow. "Go ahead babe. Tell them about how smart you are."
"What are you doing?" Luke asked in a low tone, well aware of his girlfriend's antics.
"I'm just bragging about you honey. Come on. Don't be modest."
"Lorelai, stop."
Lorelai scooted closer to him and whispered. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Just tell me what's bugging you."
"It's nothing so stop."
"Luke, I'm just…"
"I said, stop." Lorelai was shocked by Luke's sudden change in attitude. He spoke in a loud whisper but with forcefulness. He sounded…mad.
The older Gilmores watched the young couple as they argued. Though Richard knew better and stayed quiet, Emily did not. "Young man, I don't think it's very appropriate for you to speaking to our daughter in that manner right in front of us," she scolded.
"Stay out of this mom," Lorelai said.
"It's rude of him to be talking to you like that."
"I said it's none of your business!"
"It most certainly is to my business! You are my daughter!"
"Mom! Butt out! This is between me and Luke!"
"I don't like your tone young lady."
"Well, too bad."
"Young lady…"
"Oh my God! Just stop already!"
"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore! I will not be spoken to like this in my own home!"
"Emily, Lorelai, can we not argue in front of our guest?" Richard pleaded.
"It's because of him we're arguing!" Emily yelled.
"Luke. His name is Luke," Lorelai said angrily.
"Well Luke should learn to behave properly in company."
"Don't talk like that about my boyfriend," Lorelai defended. "He's sitting right here."
"He yells at you and you defend him?"
"He didn't yell!"
"Emily, Lorelai, please," Richard said as he stood. "If you two insist on discussing this now, then we shall discuss it in my study."
"Fine," Emily said. She stood and waited for Lorelai to do the same. Richard gave his daughter a pleading look. She rolled her eyes and followed her parents into her father's study.
Emily didn't even wait for the door to close to begin yelling. "What in the world are you thinking?" she shrieked. "Are you insane Lorelai? What are you thinking dating that…that…" Emily searched her mind for a word to describe Luke, but none of the words seemed to fit.
"What? That what mother?" Lorelai asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Trash! He's trash!"
"He is not trash! Christopher was trash and yet you loved him!"
"He's the father of your child!"
"Yeah and he hasn't even tried to see Rory in three months! He knows where we are. He has my number. He can come by to see his daughter anytime he wants, but he doesn't! Luke sees her everyday!"
"He isn't good enough Lorelai. He works at a hardware store and drives a filthy truck!"
"So I'm not supposed to see him because he's not rich?"
"He's not good enough. He's common! He's blue collared!"
"You don't even know him Mom!" Lorelai yelled. "You're not trying to know him!"
"I know enough," Emily said.
"No, you don't. Did you know he's going to Harvard?"
"I doubt that. Even if he was, he's still not good enough. Lorelai, you are a Gilmore and as a Gilmore, there are certain expectations you need to live up to. What's it supposed to say about this family if our only daughter marries a man like Luke?"
"It says he loves me!" Lorelai paused to take a deep breath. "He loves me Mom and I love him. Isn't that good enough?"
"Oh please, you are teenagers. You don't know what love is."
"Luke and I will know more about love than you will ever know mother." It suddenly because very silent in the study. So silent, Lorelai could hear Rory crying through the baby monitor in the other room. "Forget it. Daddy, I'm sorry but I can't do this. We shouldn't have come and we're not going to make that mistaken again. Luke and I are going to take Rory and we're going to go home. Don't expect us to ever come back."
"Ever?" Emily asked in shock.
"You know, Luke was the one that wanted to come here tonight. He was the one that wanted to meet you. I wanted to save him the hurt, but he insisted he meet you. I'll be sure he never makes that mistake again." With that, Lorelai turned on her heel and walked out of the office. "Luke, let's go." When she reached the living room, she was shocked to find it empty. "Luke? Luke, where are you?"
"Maybe he had the common sense to know where he didn't belong," Emily huffed.
"Stuff it Mom!" Lorelai snapped. "Luke! Luke, honey where are…" Lorelai trailed off when she heard a familiar voice come through the baby monitor.
"Oh, I can do it," Luke said through the monitor. "Really, it's ok. I can take care of her."
"But…" the maid started.
"I'd like to take care of her. She gets really fussy and…just let me handle it ok? I won't tell Mrs. Gilmore. Hey there princess. What's the matter? Huh? Sh. It's ok baby girl. It's ok. Sh. Sh. No more tears. Yeah. There you go. You're such a good little girl aren't you. Yeah. I love you princess. I always will."
Lorelai smiled. That was the Luke she knew and loved. She grabbed her bag and headed up the steps. Over the monitor, Richard and Emily could hear Lorelai telling Luke they should go. Luke didn't seem to put up a fight. A few minutes later, the couple walked downstairs with Rory and the baby bags.
"Bye Daddy," Lorelai said as she put her coat on.
"Lorelai, please don't do this," Richard begged.
Lorelai ignored her father's pleas. "I'll call you later." She kissed her father's check, then turned to Emily. "Goodbye mother," she said dully. She walked over to the door. "Luke, let's go!"
"Goodbye Mr. Gilmore," Luke said. "Mrs. Gilmore." He hurried over to Lorelai carrying the bags and the baby and they left.
Once the door shut, Richard turned to his wife. "How could you Emily!" he shouted.
"Me!" Emily asked, offended.
"Yes you! I told you he was a good man! you couldn't trust my word?"
"He's not good enough for her Richard!"
"Did you not hear her? He loves her! And she loves him!" Richard went to his study and a minute later walked out with his coat on and his car keys in hand.
"Where are you going?"
"To Starts Hollow. Damn it Emily, I refuse to lose my daughter because of your damn pride and your snobbish ways! I will never forgive you if I do!"
Richard arrived in Stars Hollow nearly half an hour after Luke and Lorelai had. He had gone to the inn, but Lorelai wasn't there. So he drove to the Danes home, praying it wasn't too late for him to be there. As he pulled up to the curb, he could see two figures sitting on the porch. It was William and Luke. William was talking and Luke was leaning forward on his knees as he listened. By the look on Luke's face, whatever William was saying wasn't good.
"How much time do you have?" Luke asked shakily.
William shrugged. "Depends," he replied. "A few years at the most." Luke covered his eyes with his right hand and began to cry. William pulled his son into his arms like he used to when Luke was a little boy and held him as he cried. "Come on son. It's going to be ok."
"I'm scared Pop. I'm really scared."
"I know son. So am I."
"I don't want you to die."
William let a few tears fall from his eyes as he hugged his son's head, placing a fatherly kiss on top of his head. "Neither do I son." A minute later, William looked up to see Richard at the bottom of his porch steps. "Richard." Luke immediately sat up and wiped his face.
"I'm sorry," Richard said, feeling guilty for hearing what he had. "I didn't mean to intrude."
"That's alright Richard," William said, gathering himself to the best of his ability. "I was just about to head back inside." He placed a hand on Luke's shoulder. "Don't stay out here too long. I don't want you catching cold." He gave Luke's shoulder a squeeze before heading inside.
"Lorelai's already asleep," Luke said, not sure what to say to Richard. "She's pretty worn out."
"Oh," Richard said, nodding his head in understanding. "Do you mind if I spoke with you?"
"Um. No. Have a seat."
Richard sat beside Luke. "I wanted to apologize for that horrendous dinner."
"Oh, Mr. Gilmore, you don't have to…"
"On the contrary. I do. What my wife said about you was unacceptable. I want you to know that she does not speak for this family. You're a good man Luke. I truly believe that and I owe you my sincerest apologizes."
"Um. Ok. Apology accepted."
"Good." Richard took a deep breath. "You lied."
"I beg your pardon?"
"When I asked you how your father was earlier, you said he was 'ok.' He isn't ok is he?"
Luke lowered his head, shut his eyes tightly, and shook his head. "Lorelai doesn't know. That's why I said he was ok."
"I'm…I'm sorry Luke. You shouldn't have had to go through what you did today. Especially not with this going on with you here at home. If there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask." Richard patted Luke's knee and stood. "I should be going now. Goodnight Luke." Richard headed down the porch steps.
"Actually Mr. Gilmore," Luke called. "There's something I need to ask you."
Present Day
Rory parked her car on the curb and stepped out of her car. She let out a soft sigh before heading across the grass. It had been a while since she had last come to the cemetery. She wasn't sure why. She used to come at least once a week, but ever since the accident her visits slowly decreased. Once a week turned into every other week, every other week turned into once a month, and so on. She felt guilty for not visiting so often.
Soon she had reached the gravesite she had come to visit. She looked down at the marble headstone. There, lying between the great uncle that used to spit and snarl and the gentle grandmother she had never met, was her grandfather she dearly missed.
Rory loved Richard with all her might. He was a loving, caring man that loved her and her siblings very much. But William had been the grandfather she had grown up with. Sure she had only known him for a few years, but she saw him every day of her life for five years. He had taught her many things, read her a bedtime story when her parents were out, and showed her there was more to life than money and fancy cars.
Rory placed a red rose one each headstone- even Louis's (even though he frightened her for as long as she knew him, he was still family and he deserved a little attention). She squatted down, kissed her hand, and pressed it against William's headstone.
"I'm sorry I haven't been around lately," she said solemnly. "It's just…it's hard, you know? Danny was only a little boy and he was taken away from us. You're taking care of him right Grandpa? Of course you are. You're probably fishing up there in that big pond in heaven. Daddy doesn't fish anymore. He took Mikey out the other day, but Mikey said that was the first time since the accident. The look in Mom and Dad's eyes are gone. The glimmer, the joy, the happiness…it's gone. It's all gone. They just aren't the same. I know I promised you I'd take care of them, but I can't Grandpa. I can't do this alone. I need some help. Please, just a little?"
Rory was about to leave when she spotted a figure in the distance. Was that…it couldn't be…Jess? He stopped at a familiar place and Rory slowly made her way toward him quietly as possible so not to make her presence known.
Jess squatted and put a teddy bear against the tombstone. "Hey buddy," he said softly. "Sorry I haven't been around lately. Things with your mommy and daddy and me haven't been so great, but that's my own fault. I messed up. I never understood why you liked me so much. But I guess it's what we all want right? To live with the mind of a child- innocent and with no worries. I'm so sorry I screwed up kiddo. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to be a good role model. I wanted to be someone you could look up to. I wanted to be…I wanted to be like your dad."
Jess sniffled a little and wiped away the tears forming in his eyes. "Uncle Luke is the closest thing I have to a dad. Mine wasn't very cool. He bailed on me a long, long time ago. It'd be easy to blame him for who I am today, but the only person to truly blame is myself. I want you to know, I was here. I came for the funeral, but I stayed in the back. I didn't want people to get angry. Not a lot of people around here like me, but you know that. I miss you Danny boy. You were one of my only real friends around this place. One of the only people that believed in me. Your mom, dad, big sisters Rory and Kelly, and your big brother Mikey believed in me and I let them down. Worst of all, I let you down. That, I can never live with."
Rory ducked out of view as Jess headed back to his car. She had just seen a side of him she never knew existed. The side of him that he only allowed one person to see and he had just come to see that person. Danny would be the only one to ever really know Jess Mariano.
Next time on "The Broken Road": In 1985- Luke hears back from three ivy league colleges- Harvard, Yale, and Princeton- and his decision shocks everyone. Present Day- Jess overhears a playful, yet serious, remark from Luke to Lorelai, which puts their whole secret in danger.
A/N: I hope you like the extra long update. I mean, it's only right to give you a friggin 11 page upsdate when it's been weeks since I last updated right? Lol. I've got two deleted scenes from this chapter I'll try to get up on my site ASAP. Well, I went back to school today (Gah!), but I doubt work's gonna be a problem seeing I was laid off (Double gah!). I wanna thank those whove been sticking with this fic and pushing me to update. Lol. I got off my lazy bum and did it! Lol. I have one thing to say about Tuesday's episode- LUKE YOU IDIOT! Ok, J Dog out! Lol.
