Ok, considering this chapter is one long fucking chapter, I ain't going to say much but thanks for the reviews and please continue to send me reviews! Thanks!

Chapter 16: Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes

caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow
every step that I take is another mistake to you
caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow
every step that I take is another mistake to you
caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow
and every second I waste is more than I can take

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be

"Numb" - Linkin Park

Skey's Dorm 5:15: A.M.

The pressure had finally cracked Skey. Maxwell had yelled at her for the last time. When she said she should kill Maxwell, she had meant every word. She didn't speak out of anger or blind rage. She spoke exactly what she felt. The room was in a horrible state now with books thrown astray, clothes thrown here and there and she even ripped down the curtains in the maddened fury. And now she laid on her unmade bed, curled up in a fetus position crying her eyes out. She had had it with being in the Iscariot Organization. More, she was fed up with how Maxwell saw her as nothing but a useless girl. Over and over, she did her absolute best to prove herself to him and he would always turn his head away. Skey even thought of running away for the second time in her life but then she remembered what happened when she first thought running away would solve her problems. It had only complicated her life even further.Skey stared at the blue lamp that was on the nightstand. The eerie aura of the blue light casted such a depressed mood that had soaked up Skey's madness, but then planted in her the feeling of loneliness, depression and fear of not measuring up to everyone's standards. She stared at the coat hanging on the closet door and wondered why she had to strive to earn it. what on Earth posessed her to desire the ranks of an Iscariot agent? Did she do it just to prove to everyone she was strong, that she was willing to put her life on the line to save others from the creatures of the night? Skey's self-pitying thoughts were interrupted with a soft rapping on the door. Quickly Skey wiped her tears onto her bare arms, sniffling some and tried to hide the idea she was crying.

" Come in..."

Anderson came into the room to find it utterly destroyed. Clothes and books were everywhere, some magazines she had kept ripped up. The sall drawers to her dresser had been pulled out and even two of the small drawers were busted up. She then apparently took the pieces of wood and beat the chairs and dresser up.But now she sat on the bed so mellow and sullen. And even though she wasn't crying now, the stained cheeks suggested otherwise.The Oriental lamp on her desk held under the lamp shade a bright blue lightbulb. It wasn't a lot of light but enough to see Skey's saddened and broken look. Anderson wanted to stomp out and go grab Maxwell by the collar and make him apologize, but of course, he would have been way out of line to do such a thing. all he could do, is try comforting her and cheering her up. Yeah, like Anderson knew how to do that...but it didn't mean he wouldn't give it a try.

" Weel, Ah can see ye hae ae field day in here. Arenae ye gaun try tae sleep the worries aff? Maybe tomorrow will be ae better day for ye. Ye ne'er know."

" Yeah, right. Tell me when a day has been better for me, Father Anderson. It's the same shit every day! I wake up and no matter what I do, Maxwell finds something to yell and scream at me about. I could stay locked up in my room and some kind of hell break loose in the Vatican and he'll look at me first. I am his anger management toy! And I've had enough of it!"

Anderson shut the door and picked his way through the strewn garbage across the floor. He finally made it to the edge of her bed that is after tripping over some of her boots and clothes and falling upon it.

" Oof! ...And ye yelled at me for hae bad ma room is? (sits on the edge of the bed now and sighs) Child, ye shidna' let him get ye doon like tha'. Ah promised tae tak guid care O' ye when Ah found ya, remember?...Eh, looks like Ah'm daun yin hell O' ae terrible job. Ah'm sorry aif Ah ...ye know...can't protect ye a' the time."

" It isn't your fault. It's mine for being what I was in the past. god, I hate it so much. I just made one bad decision after another until it almost cost me my life."

Still, Anderson felt he should take some of the blame. He'd been more concerned with her training and education of exorcism, that he almost forgot that she was a human being. Anderson still couldn't find the exact right words to cheer her up. What Maxwell had said had hit home. But even then, there seemed to be more to her new depression. She loved to be the loud mouthed brat and show off...but she would never talk about herself or utter even a word about her parents, childhood and stuff. And considering to finding her in the streets as a whore, so many possibilities could be made theorized. Like her parents forced her to to make money if they were poor. Or she ran away from them and became a whore if she couldn't find a job. Or even her boyfriend could have been pimping her. Or friends talked her into it. But none of these theories could be true or false unless she spoke up. How bad could her past have been to the point she would never ever talk about even against the pain of death?

" Skey, jus last ae wee bit longer, okay? Ah know ye can."

" Father Anderson...there's been a question that's been bothering me ever since you brought me to the Vatican. I've wondered it ever since but just couldn't bring myself to ask for some stupid reason...why in the world did you save a whore like me?"

Anderson could remember so easily. That Monday he was walking to one of his favorite coffee shops. the street he took was the fastest way to that shop but it was always crawling with junkies, whores, druggies, alcoholics...and everytime he passed through, he would never say a word and the people would never bother him. Every whore he saw he never gave second thought. Not even the thought of sympathy for the girls. But then that one rainy Monday, he saw a girl laying on the opposite side of the street on the sidewalk. She wore only a very small skirt that stuck to her like plastic, a sort of lime green and black corset and tall black go go boots. As usual, he thought nothing more of the girl as a whore who may have had too much to drink or too much 'powder' up the nose. But she groaned like a dying animal. He would pause and take a look before going on forward to his destination. Again that groaning of the dying and he paused again and took a second glance. From those groans he knew she was in much pain and possibly dying of some kind of alcohol poisoning or overdose. Yet he tried to walk away a third time and when he did, the groans echoed in his head. It was funny. Whenever he stopped the groans would stop. If he tried walking past, they beckoned him. Was it a sign? He remembered the Bible story of the many people who had passed up a wounded man. Except for that one Samaritan who stopped to help him. With the story in mind he walked up to the girl to see her veins so darkened; one of the effects of heroin. In her eyes he saw her soul crying out for help, for salvation. He pushd back some of her wet brown hair and gave a small smile. He asked her if she was ok...

" Ye ok?...Yer ae mess..."

As the rain pitter pattered then leaked down the awnings of the buildings, he had picked her up in his arms and carried her back for treatment. His reason for saving her was clear. He was only being...a good Samaritan.

" Ah remember ae story. Thoo Maxwell would probably consider me's telling this as ae act O' some kaind of heresy, it isn't. In the bible, Jesus told this yin story...Ae lad got beat up pretty bad. Jesus hae said the man was ae Jew and was robbed. Weel, ae Jewish priest walked doon the road. He saw the man boot he dinna stop tae help. Another man came...Ah forget wha' he was boot he dinna stop tae help either. Then ae Samaritan saw the lad and stopped tae help. He was a kaind lad tae stop and help ae Jew. He e'en told the lad whaur tae go tae find some place tae rest for ae bit. Ah guess on the day Ah saw ye on tha' sidewalk, instead O' passing ye up, Ah stopped and decided tae be ae guid Samaritan. (grins) And Ah'm glad Ah did. Ye turned oot tae be yin guid lass and yin hell O' ae fighter."

He saw Skey smiling at him, but she was crying too. Anderson started panicking cause he didn't know if telling that story was wrong of him to do or if maybe those were tears of happiness. There was a moment of silence as anderson waited to see a reaction out of her. Hopefully it would be a good one. He didn't want to be held responsible for making her even more upset!

" So you saved me...just because you could?"

" Weel, basically...aye. Ah saved ye because Ah knew Ah should. Jus letting ye lay there near death seemed ae wee bit...cold."

Skey made ehr way across the bed and to his side. She wrapped her around arms him and laid her head on his chest, closing her eyes and holding back her tears. Anderson, as shocked as he was before when Skey first hugged him just let his arm wrap around her shoulders, a bit worried about such a situation. There was a moment of silence before Skey finally spoke.

" Forgive me Father...for I have sinned."

A confession? He prayed that maybe this was the moment she would open up and tell him everything. So that he could finally help her get past her problems and fears.Anderson adjusted his glasses and held her close. He let his eyes close and his sight emerge into darkness. This way, he would be able to concentrate on her words, on exactly what she had to say.

She fidgeted some in his hold, feeling a bit uneasy about wanting to finally tell him everything. She knew by doing this, it meant she was placing almost absolute trust in him. She didn't want to stop. No, this time she wanted to talk about it instead of hiding it in the back of her head. True her past was shameful but the only way she may find true salvation from its hurting grasp would be to talk about it.

" I wish...to tell you everything, Father Anderson about what I went through since I was a child."

" Ah see. Go on, child."

" (takes a deep breath then lets it out.) I was born in the outskirts of Rome. My family...they were poor as dirt. Father and mother worked in the vineyards every day in the summer and fall. They were great parents though. They loved me and did the best they could for me. Income was very low but I would remember every time father and mother got paid off, they would buy me a treat. I always remember them smiling and being in the best of moods. Optimists I guess. When I was about five, father and mother were fired from vineyard work. They had little to no education so finding another job would be near impossible. It's a new century and now days, you have to have diplomas, degrees and shit. They had nothing like that. So now unable to support me they thought of the most logical option for me. Putting me up for adoption. Don't get me wrong. I knew my parents loved me. They put me in an orphanage with the best intentions. Mother told me that they were unable to take care of me anymore, but if I would live at this home, they could find a rich family who could afford to take good care of me, who could love me too and provide for me better then she and father could. I was heartbroken...I learned to live with it. I made good friends at the orphanage. Me and a group of girls would always run around in dress up costumes of princesses and queens, pretending that we had a handsome Prince Charming to go to like in Cinderella. We had those little tea times and pretend 'palace gossip'. Well, as I grew, and they grew, my friends were adopted one by one. It seemed no one wanted me for some reason. All of them got adopted but me. I was left alone and abadoned once again. It went on like that for years. Then finally, when I turned sixteen, a very rich family by the name of Tuskanee came seeking a teenager girl to adopt. Once the staff at the orphanage presented me and told them about my bright personality, my hard working spirit, the family jumped to the opportunity to adopt me. So now I had a family. I would lead one big, happy life. They were rich and provided me with such ritzy accomodations. Well, I did some housework around the mansion just to pass time away if I didn't feel like reading or enjoying myself in the garden. My foster mother would ask for me to do simple little chores at times. Feed the cat, straighten up the dining room table, and sometimes to feed the birds outside. But as a year dragged on, they became...oppressing. I was turned into their personal slave. They would beckon my name with such irritated tones. They'd abuse me and hit me with newspaper like a dog if I was suspected of doing something wrong. Once, that woman strapped a collar to my neck and walked me down the street like a dog. And because I had a home and food to eat, I didn't want to turn against her. I knew it could have been worse. Well, it did get worse. I was forced to was all the dishes after a rather large Thanksgiving dinner for her American family that came to visit. I was nearly done, drying the last plate. I heard the cat screeching and out of fright, I let the dish slip from my hands. It shattered once it hit the floor. I stood there like an idiot, stunned that I dropped it. The first thought running through my head then was...what would be my punishment? They had a basement...I feared it so and I had hoped to God they wouldn't strap me down there again. I found my senses and crouched down tring to get all the pieces on a napkin to throw away. And then...he was there. My foster father stood before me behind the counter holding one of his thick black belts. I froze with fear then stupidly tried to jump the counter to escape. He only jerked me and threw me to the ground among the shattered glass. His pants came down and I cried, I screamed 'NO', I screamed for him to stop (a lump forms in her throat as she holds back tears) but he didn't...he tore my clothes off, beat me with the belt as if it were a horse whip then raped me. I was so weak then, I couldn't even defend myself and if that one time wasn't bad enough, he started taking out his anger on me when his wife started denying him sex. He would chain me up in that basement, whip the hell out of me and then rape me and call me whore, slut, pig...I...I couldn't stop him! My only hope of escaping was to run away. I went into their hidden safe which they always left open and took a good amount of money. I packed some food in a bag and ran away. As I ran down the streets of the city of Rome, I cried out, "Thank God! I am free!" I rented a small one bedroom, one bathroom apartment until I could find some kind of job. I had no education on record, but I was smart. I read a lot of the books in the Tuskanee's library so I wasn't totally uneducated. But still, I couldn't find a job. That money I stole was to pay my bills and get my food but then it ran out. I was evicted and thrown to the streets. I had no money and very little personal belongings. I wandered the streets for a week, hiding in dumpsters from the rain and used newspapers for warmth. I met some girls then. They were very good looking and always talked about all this money they made in one night. I was thinking, " Wow, that much in a night? If I could get a job working as what they were, I could save up for a house and live by myself!" So they took me into their ranks and dolled me up good. I didn't know they were prostitutes...an when I found out, well I only swallowed my resistance and did it all. I knew if I put enough money away, I would finally be able to support myself. It was all going good at first. I made friends with them all...(smiled weakly) I remember their names too. Tyra, Genie, Rene, Frou and Kristine. We all hung out at our favorite restaurant joints after our 'work' and gossip about our callers and whether or not if it was good...Well, one day Rene brought back to the place a drug. We've done drugs before like pot, cocaine and stuff, but we never did it on a regular basis. Sometimes once a month, or twice a month. We loved alcohol but well, drugs never did it for us I guess. But this one, it got us all addicted. Heroin. I tried it once and I was automatically hooked. It made me forget the pain and emerged me in a world of spinning things and dizziness. It was a good 'trip' as we said. All that dirty money I earned that I was going to put forth for my future living...it became my drug money. Every nght before I started working the streets, I would shoot up. I knew it was wrong, I knew I should have stopped with my veins were turning colors, when I was just becoming weak and felt so heavy...but that feeling of euphoria, the exquisite feeling was what I loved about it...soon my money was gone and I found myself selling my body not to save up and make a decent living anymore, but to buy more and more of this drug. Then...one day rene died. She overdosed on uncut heroin. Tyra, Genie, Frou, Kristine and I were all mortified but still...Father Anderson that drug was so addicting. We lost our appetites and became pale and ghostly looking. We wanted nothing but that damned drug. We didn't stop. I took so many hits one night when it was raining. We were all shooting up big time because of our despair of losing Rene. You'd think that losing her to the drug would have made us stop and realize...but we didn't. I stumbled out and headed for the apartment complex where we all shared a room. They were going to stay with some guys and get some money from them by doing ameteur naughty movies, something I hadn't cared for. Then...the effect hit me. I dropped to the ground, barely able to feel the rain pouring down on me. My body shook and I felt myself being a heavy weight that I couldn't budge. My life started slipping. I bit down hard, trying to regain control and get up. I couldn't. I wanted to die, wished to die so many times but once I started to die...I cried out, " No! I want to live! I don't want to die anymore! God, please let me live! Please!"...(graps Anderson tighter in her hold around his waist, tears silently streaming down her face and her voice breaking) I thought for sure that I was at the end of my rope. That that was it.And then I saw this guy crouching over me, waving his hand in front of my eyes. Then I...remember clutching to the white collar and tugging on it, trying to tell him that I wanted to live, that I wanted him to rescue me...And you did."

She fell silent and all Anderson could do was sit there holding her, horrified at hearing what she went through. But then he remembered that vampire. He said he and Skey had a past together. did Skey remember that?

" Thon vampire said ye both hae ae past...whit is thon aboot?"

" Well, this guy I knew paid me almost every night to go up to a room. We never had sex though. He would pay to simply let me talk to him and he would hold me like this, and let me tell him how I was feeling. But maybe it wasn't quite like this cause...he never told me who he was...I mean, he never told me he was a vampire. He didn't ever talk much about himself. He would only let me talk...and you know, I never trusted him even then. But you...I trust with my life."

"...Thas ae...nice thing tae sae, Skey. Ah thank ye. Boot Ah mus tell ye...it's as Ah said afore. Ye are ae strong woman. Dinna ye see tha'? Ye survived thon hell. Ye pulled through. And look whaur ye are noo...This time, ye got ae roof o'er yer heid, ye got me and Yumie as freens, and despite Maxwell's bickering aboot ye...ye got ae redeemed life. Ah think God finally saw yer pain and suffering...and decided tae smile on ye. Noo, get some rest, ye hear? Eh...(looks around the very messy room) Ah guess Ah'll come by later afore the assigments and help ye straighten up ae wee bit. ging yerself some sleep, lass. Ye hae ae hard night."

Anderson let her go and stood up. Skey sat there o the bed and then called his name.

" Anderson?"

" Aye?"

" There was something else...about tonight. I saw my parents again. That Malakai...had turned them into vampires. And tried using them against me. And when my mother hugged me, she told me to run, to get out of there...Malakai killed her. (looks to Anderson) When we finally get Malakai, I want the finishing blow."

Anderson couldn't believe what he just heard. As if hearing how bad her life was before, Malakai was now making it almost a number one priority to break Skey down even if it meant using her own, and only family against her. As before, Anderson carefully picked his way through the mess in the room and got to the door. He paused as he rested his hand on the handle.

" Ah winna make ae promise...boot Ah'll try tae let ye tak the last blow til Malakai. Sleep noo, Skey."

Anderson left the room and headed for his own. What he so desperately wanted to hear about her, he had finally heard. And now, he wished he hadn't heard it at all.