Happy Saturday, my darlings. Hope you had a wonderful week!
I'm so so so grateful at everyone for the kind comments about this fic so far. I'm very happy you all seem to be enjoying it and I can't wait to share even more of it with you.
Big thanks to Christine, my lovely beta, for her endless help.
And another big thanks for Sofi for being an amazing cheerleader.
Enjoy!
There was a middle-aged woman he vaguely recognized rushing towards the elevator as she pushed a double stroller with twin toddlers on it, so Blaine hurried to press his free hand against the doors to keep them from closing. She smiled gratefully at him and murmured a thanks under her breath. He smiled back.
He walked out of the elevator on Cooper's floor. As usual, his arms were full of things he had to bring to his brother – from the dry cleaning to a cup of coffee. Life was as mundane as ever, even if something inside him seemed to have shifted.
He couldn't stop thinking about Kurt.
It had only been three days, but it was still on his mind constantly. Whenever he had an idle moment, he found himself replaying their conversation over and over. He could see clear as day, as if he was right in front of him, Kurt's smile, the way his eyes twinkled when he teased Blaine. And at night it was difficult falling asleep without the images of Kurt naked on his back on that very same bed, writhing and moaning and coming hard on both of their chests.
He told himself it was normal to still be thinking about him, considering how mind-blowing the sex had been. It was just that. Nothing else.
Cooper was sitting on the couch in his underwear, cartoons on the television, eating cereal straight of the box. His hair was a mess and he needed to shave. He looked like a very grown child. "Hey little brother."
"Hi Coop," Blaine said as he took a look around. "No lady friends today?"
"Nope," Cooper replied, mouth full of cereal.
"Thank goodness," Blaine said under his breath. He placed Cooper's cup of coffee on the side table so he could wash the cereal down. "Well, you have a busy day ahead, so we should get a start on it. Dentist at eleven, you're scheduled for a cleaning. Your personal trainer is waiting for you at two, so please don't eat a huge cheeseburger for lunch. We don't want you to throw up again."
"I don't understand why you can't schedule my training in the mornings," Cooper protested as he reached for his coffee.
"Because you never wake up in time and I have to drag you there half-asleep," Blaine said, rolling his eyes. "You have a couple of interviews this evening, and a dinner party at the show's producer's house tonight..." He placed the suit he had brought carefully over the back of the couch. "Here's your outfit for tonight. And tomorrow we have the fitting for the new season scheduled, so that'll take a lot of our day. Please, get up on time. I'm sending a car for you and I'll meet you there."
Cooper took a long sip of coffee, regarding Blaine curiously. "There's something different about you. What is it? Haircut? New sweater?"
Blaine sighed tiredly. His brother had probably paid absolutely no attention to everything he had just said. "Nothing is different. Do you want to repeat what I said back to me, Coop?"
"I don't need to repeat it back, Blaine," Cooper said, clearly annoyed. "Come on, what is it?"
Blaine was, for a moment, tempted to tell his brother about Kurt. He wanted to tell him about finding the most beautiful man who had filled his chest with warmth whenever he smiled, how he had made him feel alive in a way he hadn't felt in years. But he wasn't sure Cooper would understand. They were so different, he and his brother. They saw life with such different, opposing lenses.
Plus, there wasn't anything to tell, really. It had been a one-night-only kind of thing. He was never going to see Kurt again.
He ignored the pang of disappointment that coursed through him at the thought.
"What could possibly be different?" He said with a quick chuckle. "Come on, drink your coffee and go get dressed. I'm going to set up alarms in your phone because I'm pretty sure you didn't hear a word I said."
Cooper shrugged, like he agreed that nothing could ever be different about his brother's life, like it had to be something he imagined. Blaine didn't allow himself to dwell much on it – how sad was it that nothing interesting ever happened to him?
For the few hours he had been with Kurt, he had felt and seen every way in which life could be so extraordinary. He had seen the potential for it, touched it with his fingertips, and let it go before he could grasp it.
It had never been his. He couldn't hold on to it.
Kurt was failing to pay attention to the play he was supposed to finish for class when he got a handful of napkins thrown at his face.
He looked up and glared at Santana, who was leaning against the counter and watching him with an arched eyebrow. "Can I help you?" He asked dryly.
"Actually, yes," was her snide reply. Her perfectly waxed eyebrow was arched as well. "You've been staring at that same page for the past thirty minutes and I can tell you're not reading. I had to take care of two tables in your section because you're daydreaming."
With groan, Kurt closed the book. "I'm sorry. I was distracted. I'll get back to work now."
"What's going on with you?" She asked, and if he didn't know her better, he would think she was actually worried about him. "You've been so out of it the past few days. You didn't even scream at Rachel for her outfit this morning. Are you dying?"
"Oh no, what was she wearing?" Kurt asked, and he was worried. "Did you make her change into something decent?"
"She was wearing a really ugly blue sweater that definitely didn't match her skirt, and boots that didn't match her purse. Then she grabbed an orange scarf and... it was really bad. And of course I didn't make her change. One of the few joys of my life is being entertained by Rachel failing, even if it's at something as basic and boring as dressing herself." Santana inspected her nails, which were sharp enough to take someone's eye out. "And you haven't answered my question: what's going on with you?"
Kurt let his eyes wander to the booth where he had met Blaine. It was occupied by four teenage boys laughing too loud as they shared fries and milkshakes, but he still could see the man sitting there, the brightness of his eyes, his attractive face, the way his hands had wrapped around his cup of coffee...
The way he had touched him and kissed him and made him feel like he, Kurt Hummel, was something worth worshipping.
It had been a few days and Kurt couldn't stop thinking about him. Not only because the sex had been the most mind-blowing he'd had in his admittedly barren life, but because there just had been something about Blaine that made him want more. He wanted to see him again, to talk to him more and, if he was truly, truly lucky, maybe to touch him again, as well.
During his teenage years, Kurt had been very sure of his sexuality. Yes, he liked boys. Even if he hadn't kissed one yet. He imagined himself holding hands with a boy, slow-dancing with a boy, marrying a boy. But when it came to sex, his imagination always seemed to dry out. For a long time he had felt like a sexless entity, and he'd wondered if he would always be scared of it, of standing naked in front of another person and letting him see all his flaws. And then he had grown up, come to New York, and started dating. He discovered sex could feel good, that it was fun, that he enjoyed it.
But he had never felt his body on fire days after, the desire still pooling in his belly, every inch of his skin calling for more.
Blaine had been like a sorcerer, and whatever spell he had cast on Kurt, it was still in full effect.
And it wasn't just the way he had touched him and made him feel like he was rediscovering what pleasure was all over again. It was the way in which Blaine had made him smile.
But what could a guy like Blaine, seventeen years older than him and with his life all figured out, want with him?
Everything he had been feeling the past few days was forming a knot somewhere in his chest, and it was becoming heavier and heavier with every day, until it made it hard to breathe.
He looked at Santana seriously. "If I tell you something, do you promise not to make fun of me?"
The arch of her eyebrow became more pronounced. She was clearly interested, but now there was a hint of real worry in her dark eyes. "What happened, Kurt?"
Kurt took a quick look around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "You know the other night, when I covered for you so you could go on that date? Well, I met someone."
A smile appeared on Santana's face, and it was certainly eerie how similar it was to when the Grinch smiled. "Well, that explains why you didn't come home immediately after your shift ended." She paused and watched him, as if trying to get the truth out of him without bothering to use her words. It worked. "Oh my god, you slept with him, didn't you?"
"Yes," Kurt admitted, and he could feel how red his skin was. It felt like his whole face was on fire.
"Baby Hummel, I'm proud of you!" Santana said, clapping his shoulder with way too much strength for someone as skinny as her. "Is this your first one-night stand? I feel like I should take a picture of you right now, just to have something to remember this moment."
"God, don't," Kurt groaned, hiding his face in his hands.
"What's wrong? One would think having an orgasm or two would help loosen you up a bit, but you look as uptight as ever, if not more. Was he terrible?" Santana asked, leaning closer to him, as if eager to get all the gossip.
"The opposite," Kurt answered reluctantly. He couldn't believe he was telling Santana, but he just needed to talk to someone, and she was a better option than Rachel, at least. "He was... incredible. But it's not just the sex, Santana. We spent all night talking, and I just couldn't get enough of him. He was so kind and charming and sweet..."
"I don't see a problem with any of this," Santana said, frowning. "Why do you look so mopey?"
"I want to see him again," Kurt said, finally voicing out loud what had been eating at him inside for the past few days. "I can't stop thinking about him. But... well, first, I don't have a way to contact him, except for dropping by his place, which honestly seems a little pushy and too direct..."
"I don't see a problem with being direct, but I can see why that's an issue for you," Santana commented with a quick shrug. She was always so brazen, so ready to take whatever she wanted. She was unapologetic and brave, and Kurt admired that about her.
"And second," Kurt murmured, feeling a little nervous about what he was about to say, but pushing through it anyway. "He's older."
That definitely got Santana's attention. She leaned forward again, and she was almost crowding him now. "What do you mean, older?"
"Thirty seven," Kurt whispered.
"Damn," Santana exhaled, and then a huge grin appeared on her red lips. "Hummel, I'm impressed. Truly, truly impressed."
"Look, it was amazing, but I'm starting to think it was a really bad idea," Kurt said bitterly. At Santana's puzzled look, he continued: "I've never been one for one-night stands, and you know it. I just can't handle them, I don't like them. And now I've slept with him and I can't stop thinking about him, and it's so stupid, because he's older and what could he possibly want with me? And yes, sex, I know. But I want more than that. I need more than that. And even if I do see him again... what must he think of me?"
"What do you mean?" Santana asked.
"I basically threw myself at him, Santana," Kurt said, and couldn't hide the embarrassment he felt. "And yes, yes, smile all you want, but that's not who I am. I just couldn't help myself. I wasn't thinking clearly."
"Well, Hummel, I have to admit I've never seen you like this," Santana muttered, looking immensely pleased. "It makes me curious about this guy. I kind of want to meet him. He must be super hot to get your panties in a twist like this."
"You're wildly unhelpful," Kurt sighed.
"I never said I wanted to help, I just like the gossip," Santana shrugged, but when Kurt glared at her, she rolled her eyes and said: "Look, I don't know what to tell you. You don't have many options here. If you like him, then go to his place and talk to him. Sometimes, if you want something, you need to be a little pushy or you won't get it."
"I don't want him to think I'm some kind of cheap floozy," Kurt said sadly.
Santana tapped her long nails on the counter, thoughtfully. "Well, he slept with you too, what does that say about him? Why are you the floozy?"
Kurt didn't have a rational answer, and there was no time to think about it, either, because a couple of his tables were now occupied. He grabbed a few menus and sighed as he pulled away from the counter.
The best option here was for him to forget about Blaine all together. What could he offer a guy like him, anyway? Even if the sex was amazing, he was bound to get bored of Kurt, and a man as attractive as him probably had no trouble finding people who wanted to sleep with him. Kurt wanted romance – he had always wanted romance. And the funny thing was, Blaine had struck him as the kind of guy who would want that, as well.
It just didn't seem like Kurt could be the one to give that to him.
Blaine's favorite bar was just a few blocks from his place, so he walked there, enjoying the weather that, even if it was turning colder and colder every day, still allowed him to not wear excessive layers and didn't turn his nose red. He pushed the door opened and glanced around, and there was Tina, at their usual table, two drinks in front of her, and a smile blooming on her face as soon as she saw him.
Tina Cohen-Chang was his oldest and most trusted friend. If Blaine had to be honest, she was probably his only real friend. It was difficult to find people he could trust in his line of business and through the years he'd had friends and lovers and more friends, but in the end, the one who always stayed, the one that never left his side was Tina.
He slipped into the booth, his hand immediately wrapping around the cocktail she had ordered for him. "Hey you. Have you been waiting long?"
"Ten minutes," Tina said with a smile. "I got here early on purpose, though. I really needed to get out of the house."
"Kids driving you insane?" Blaine asked, mirroring her smile, as he lifted the glass to his lips.
"God, I love them, but there are days when it feels like they are plotting against me," Tina replied, letting her head drop against the back of the booth for a moment, before she looked back at Blaine. "But they're Mike's problem tonight. I'm all yours for the next few hours."
Blaine sipped on his gin tonic for a moment. "How's Mike doing?"
Mike Chang was a professional dancer, and it had actually been Blaine who had introduced them. Mike had worked in one of Cooper's music videos and since Tina had gone through a bad break up recently, Blaine thought it would cheer her up to meet the incredibly chiseled guy who danced like his body was magic, and who smiled kindly at everyone. And he had been right, but he hadn't imagined she would end up marrying him a few years later.
But Tina deserved it, deserved all the happiness in the world, and Blaine was grateful he had played a role in her achieving it. He owed her so much more than he could ever repay.
"He's great, excited because he just booked a new gig and will be going on tour next summer. He starts rehearsals in a couple of weeks," Tina said, sipping on her appletini. "And the plague is blissfully over. We're all back to optimum health. I think the soup you brought us helped enormously."
"Glad to hear that," Blaine chuckled. "I couldn't let my godchildren suffer. How are they?"
Tina caught him up on her children's latest shenanigans before she paused and took a good look at him. "Enough about my crazy family. What about you, B? How are you doing?"
"Good, I'm good. Cooper had a fitting today, so we had a busy day..." Blaine began, only to be interrupted.
"Blaine," she said, tapping the back of his hand as if she wanted him to pay attention. "I didn't ask you about work, or Cooper. I'm asking about you. How are you?"
"I told you, I'm good," Blaine insisted, frowning. He didn't know where she was going with that.
"You forget that I know you better than anyone," she said with a fond smile. "I can tell when something's bothering you. You look like you're a million miles away."
"Sorry," Blaine said with a sigh. There was no point in lying to Tina or trying to hide anything from her. "I just haven't been myself these past few days. I'll be fine."
"What do you mean, you haven't been yourself?" She asked, sounding a bit worried. "Did something happen?"
He didn't even know how to answer that question. When he closed his eyes, all he could see was Kurt stretched out in his bed, all that white, perfect skin on display, begging to be touched and kissed and sucked.
Blaine downed the rest of his drink in one big gulp. When he lowered his glass, Tina was staring at him with wide eyes.
"Well, damn. Now you have to tell me," she muttered.
"I think I'm going to need another drink," Blaine said miserably, and Tina was already gesturing at the waitress to bring them another round. "You can't judge me for what I'm about to tell you. Just know I'm judging myself plenty, but I don't need that from you right now."
"Blaine, I love you and I won't judge you for anything," she said vehemently. "Just spill, it looks like you need it."
"God, I really do," Blaine groaned, rubbing at his tired eyes. He had almost considered talking to Cooper, but he knew his brother would never understand. They saw the world so differently, and they were such different men, sometimes it was hard to believe they were brothers. "I met someone."
Tina squealed, her hands flailing around as if she couldn't contain her excitement, almost knocking the drinks that the waitress was placing on the table between them. She only paused long enough to apologize to her, before she turned to Blaine, smile wide. "Oh my god, I can't tell you how long I've waited for you to say that."
"There's no reason for you to get so excited," Blaine said, reaching for his new drink. He was going to need it to get through this. "Nothing's going to come out of it."
Tina deflated. "Why not? What happened?"
One more sip, because he needed the liquid courage. "We met last Friday. We spent the entire night talking, then we went to my place and we had what has to be the most fantastic sex I've had in years. And then he left."
"Okay…" Tina said slowly, like she was trying to make sense of it. "I see. So the problem here is that you don't know how to find him again?"
"I guess I could. We met at this diner where he works. I could drop by and find him, probably…" Blaine said, but then shook his head. "But I won't."
"Blaine, I have to be honest. You're not making much sense right now. What's the matter? You seem excited to have met someone, you say the sex was good…" Tina shrugged, like she didn't see a single problem, and when she put it like that, Blaine could see why. "If you liked him, just go and find him again."
"I can't," Blaine practically whined, and he really hated how pathetic he sounded. What had Kurt turned him into? "I don't think he'd want to see me again. You should have seen him, Tina. The way he left my house in a hurry after… maybe he regretted it."
"Well, then he has absolutely no taste whatsoever. He should know how lucky he is to get to be with someone as amazing as you, Blaine," Tina said, ever the supporting friend. Then she tilted her head in confusion, regarding him. "I have to say, though. I don't see why you were worried I would judge you. I mean, sure, one-night stands sometimes aren't ideal, but they aren't that bad. Sometimes you just need to get it out of your system."
Blaine groaned and hid his face in his hands. "It's not because it was a one-night stand. I mean, I don't really like those, but it's not exactly the first time I've had one. It's just…" He peeked at Tina from between his fingers. "He's younger than me."
Tina blinked at him, without saying anything for a few seconds, before she murmured: "Okay. Exactly how much younger? You wouldn't do anything illegal, I know…"
"God, no!" Blaine exclaimed, disgusted. "Not that young, Tina, my god." She lifted her hands, like she was apologizing for having to ask. "He's twenty."
He hadn't expected the almost lascivious little smile that appeared on her face. "Blaine Anderson, I didn't know you had it in you."
Blaine frowned at her. "What are you talking about? Don't look smug. There's no reason to look smug. I'm a creepy old man."
"Oh shut up," Tina said dismissively. "We're the same age, and I'm certainly not old, mister. You looked so troubled, I was worried there for a second. Twenty is young, sure, but he's a consenting adult, Blaine. You didn't do anything wrong. I do kind of want to high five you, though."
Blaine rolled his eyes, but he began to relax now that Tina wasn't taking it as seriously as he thought she would. "No high fives. If I wanted a high five, I would have told Cooper, not you. I'm still pretty sure it was a mistake, and you're supposed to be my voice of reason."
"I know you're not a fan of one-night stands, but I don't think it was a mistake, exactly. As long as you both had fun… and it's normal to want to run away as soon as the sex is over, don't feel bad about that," Tina said, and the way she talked, like it was no big deal at all, really made Blaine feel better. "You didn't do anything wrong, Blaine."
Blaine exhaled, and the tension he had been carrying in his shoulder seemed to melt away. "Okay."
"Good," Tina nodded, like that was settled and now they could move on to more important things. "Now, I want details. Was he attractive?"
"Oh Tina," Blaine sighed, not being able to help the dreamy tone of his voice. "He has to be the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen."
"Well, that's saying something," Tina said, impressed.
"And he was so funny and witty, and interesting. He works at the diner and also at Vogue, and on top of everything, he goes to NYADA. I was honestly blown away by him." Tina hummed, but didn't say anything, so Blaine just continued talking: "And… okay, you know I'm not one to kiss and tell, I like to think I'm a gentleman. But oh my god, I don't think anything's ever felt as urgent and intense as what I had with him. I could barely think. I just wanted to touch him and kiss him, because it felt I was going to die if I didn't…"
"Holy shit, Blaine," Tina said, fanning herself. "I don't think I ever heard you talking like that. He really got under your skin."
"He did," Blaine said, reaching for his drink again. "I haven't stopped thinking about him since. I can't. I close my eyes at night and I see him. And it wasn't just the sex, even though it was… wow. I can't describe it, Tina."
"I'm starting to get really jealous here," Tina muttered, making Blaine chuckle self-consciously. "You know Mike and I have the best chemistry, but it's so hard to just get lost in it when you have kids. It's been a while since it's been more than something else on the to-do list, honestly. Like it's an itch we need to scratch and that's it."
"I can babysit whenever you need me to," Blaine offered immediately. "Give you and Mike a night off…"
"Please, you already babysit your brother enough, Blaine. I can't add two more children to that," Tina said, making him laugh again. "We'll figure it out. I honestly hadn't thought of it until just now, when I heard you talking like that…" She shook her head incredulously. "Can I be blunt? I think it's more than sex, Blaine. The way you talk about him… there could be something there."
Blaine was already shaking his head, too. "No, no, it can't be. I mean, I know you can brush off the age thing, but it is a big difference, Tina. Maybe he found it hot in the moment, but he probably was creeped out by it by the time things cooled down a little. He left so quickly…"
"We have all left quickly after sleeping with a near stranger, Blaine. But a bit of morning-after embarrassment doesn't mean regret or disgust or whatever the hell you think he felt…" Tina replied calmly. "Plus, even if nothing else comes out of it, you deserve to have fun. If the sex is good, go for it. You don't need to marry him, you can just enjoy yourself for a bit. God knows you need it and deserve it…"
Blaine tried to ignore the memories flashing back at him – Kurt's back bowed as he came, his face contorted in pleasure, his lips parted as he moaned. He downed the rest of his gin tonic, hoping it would help him keep his chill.
He wanted to see him again. He could admit that much. So what if he stopped by the Spotlight Diner to see if he was there? It didn't mean anything. They could just chat, grab a cup of coffee, maybe. Or at least Blaine could find out if Kurt had regretted what happened…
Blaine was so used to letting go of everything he wanted he wasn't sure he knew how to go after it anymore. But for once in his life, he felt like at least trying.
Ever since his lousy midterm, dance class had been a new special kind of hell for Kurt. Cassandra July seemed to be keeping a particularly sharp eye on him, pushing him harder than she had ever pushed him. But despite it, Kurt had a hard time motivating himself. He was sore and moody and classwork kept piling up, and he realized he would soon reach the end of his rope. He was doing too much. It was becoming too hard to balance it all. He didn't know what he was going to do when he finally lost his grasp on things and everything collapsed on top of him.
He walked out of NYADA feeling defeated. At some point, Kurt had lost sight of what he wanted and now he was just stumbling through life chasing after dreams that suddenly didn't seem to fit him the way they once had. But he was also too scared to waste the opportunities that had been presented to him. It felt ungrateful. It was terrifying. He didn't know what to do.
He was about to head to the subway when he heard a voice behind him: "Hey Hummel, wait up!"
Kurt turned around to see Santana hurrying towards him. He looked at her, surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you," Santana said, tossing her hair behind her shoulder as he caught up with him. "You left the loft so quickly this morning I didn't have time to do it then."
"I was running late," Kurt replied. He was always running late nowadays. "What's up? Is something wrong?"
"My life is wrong," Santana said, rather dramatically. "I'm sick of being a waitress. I'm sick of never getting anywhere and never achieving anything. I didn't come to New York to do the same I could've done back in Lima."
"Rent certainly would've been a lot cheaper," Kurt commented with a bitter nod. He was happy to be in New York, and he would always prefer it to Lima, but he understood where Santana was coming from. "But I'm sorry, I don't know if I can help you. I'm still trying to figure things out myself. I could talk to Isabelle, see if she needs any models for future campaigns or ads? They usually work through an agency, though…"
"Thanks, but I actually have something in mind," Santana muttered, taking her phone out of her purse and scrolling through something on the screen before passing it to Kurt.
"The Brightest Star?" Kurt said, looking at the Instagram post she was showing him.
"Auditions are starting next week," Santana said with a shrug. "It's a huge ass show. I know you're obsessed with reality shows, so you've probably seen a few episodes."
"I have, yeah. It's fun. And they offer a recording contract to the winner," Kurt said, handing her the phone back. "Are you thinking about signing up?"
"Yes," Santana said, full of confidence. "I mean, what do I have to lose? I know I'm talented. I should get in easily."
"Then go for it," Kurt said with a shrug, and started walking towards the subway. "Sorry, I'm really late. I have to be in a meeting in like ten minutes."
Santana jogged after him and followed him. "I'll walk with you. So, will you go with me?"
"What? To the show?" Kurt said and laughed. "No way."
"Why not? You're just as talented as I am," Santana said, nudging him with her shoulder.
"I'm not saying I'm not talented. I just have too much on my plate right now, Santana," Kurt said with a heavy sigh. "If I take on anything else, I'll have to give up sleep. And I already sleep less than I should. If it starts showing on my skin…"
"Oh, stop being such a drama queen," Santana muttered with an eye roll. "Are you telling me you prefer to work as a waiter instead of having the opportunity to get a recording contract?"
"Trust me, I'm going to quit the diner as soon as humanly possible," Kurt groaned. He really hated that job sometimes, and the hours were terrible, but he needed the money. "I just don't want to be on a reality show. I know I have a very particular kind of voice. I don't exactly sound like pop star material…"
"Bullshit," Santana spat, and it was nice that, in her very own Santana Lopez way, she had his back. "Well, do whatever you want but… I was hoping you'd go with me."
Kurt did stop now, because her voice had shaken a bit. He regarded her curiously. "Santana, are you nervous?"
"Of course I'm nervous. I might be badass but I'm not made of stone," she said brusquely, like it pained her to admit that.
"Why don't you ask Rachel? I'm sure she'd be into it," Kurt suggested, as he began walking again.
Once again, Santana hurried to catch up. "Because she would probably throw me under the bus to get in herself. You know her."
Sadly, Kurt knew that was true. "Fine. I'm not making any promises, though. Let me know when you're planning to go, and if I don't have class or work, I'll come with you."
Santana threw her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. "Yay! Thank you, Kurt!" She let go quickly but she was still grinning. "This might be good for you, you know. You've been really weird and quiet ever since you met that sugar daddy of yours. It'll take your mind off him, at least."
"He's not my sugar daddy," Kurt said angrily. "Stop making it creepy."
"Oh trust me, if I liked dick, I would have a sugar daddy myself. It would make things so much easier…" Santana stopped as they reached the subway station. "Maybe I should find me a sugar mommy."
"Ugh, I'm walking away from you now," Kurt groaned, and her laughter followed him down the stairs as they parted ways.
The good thing about busy days, Blaine believed, was that he spent so much time hurrying from one place to the other, putting out little fires, making sure everything was perfect and dealing with Cooper's latest whims, that there was no time left for thinking about himself, about his own life or about blue eyed waiters who took his breath away.
It didn't mean he had stopped thinking about Kurt altogether, but the last two times he had innocently walked by Spotlight, taking a look inside in as subtly as he could, he was nowhere to be seen.
Maybe the universe was trying to tell him something, and Blaine just didn't want to listen, even though it seemed to be loud and clear: This boy is not for you.
If he felt any disappointment at all, he managed to quiet it down until it was just an annoying little buzz deep inside his chest that he could easily ignore. Blaine was good at that. He had been doing it all his life.
The Brightest Star had started shooting its new season, which meant Blaine spent all day on set. The first few weeks of taping were the hardest ones because auditions took longer than the rest of the process. Cooper often complained that he was going to end up with a flat ass after sitting there hearing people sing. Blaine usually rolled his eyes and said nothing.
Just like with his own feelings, sometimes it was easier to ignore Cooper whenever he said something dumb and self-absorbed.
It had been a hectic morning, with a lot of reshoots due to technical issues. Blaine had stepped out for a little while to pick up some lunch for Cooper and himself and was taking it to Cooper's trailer, walking by the long line of people waiting to audition, when the universe slapped him on the face.
"Blaine?"
He had spent an entire night listening to that voice, and his skin prickled at the sound of it, goosebumps raising, a thrill coursing down his spine. It was ridiculous, how quickly his body reacted to it.
He paused and turned, telling himself he had probably just imagined it, but then he saw Kurt, stepping out of line for a moment, dressed impeccably in jeans tight enough to look painful, a floral patterned shirt and a grey blazer.
He looked so good Blaine didn't really know what to do with himself. He just wanted to reach out and touch him.
"Kurt…" He muttered, not able to hide the shock he felt. "What are you doing here?"
Kurt's gorgeous lips stretched out in an even more gorgeous smile. His cheeks were suddenly pink, his eyes so bright Blaine couldn't look away. "Oh, I'm with a friend. She's here to audition for the show. You…" He glanced down at the lanyard hanging around Blaine's neck. "You work here?"
"Yeah, PA, remember?" Blaine muttered a little breathlessly. This had been the very last place on earth he had expected to find Kurt again. Actually, he had thought he would never see him again. "Are you auditioning too?"
Kurt laughed a little. "Oh, no, I don't think so. Just here for moral support, I guess."
"Pity," Blaine murmured. "I would have loved to hear you sing…"
The blush in Kurt's pale cheeks intensified. "Well, maybe some other time…"
It seemed like Kurt let his words hang in the air between them, some sort of hint or unspoken invitation. Blaine could feel the tension around them, like the static on a radio, so loud it was the only thing he could focus on.
Kurt didn't look uncomfortable. He didn't look like he wanted to be anywhere but where Blaine was. Maybe Tina was right – everyone was a little uncomfortable the morning after a hook up. Maybe it didn't mean Kurt was disgusted or feeling regret about sleeping with him.
For once in your life, Anderson, Blaine thought to himself, if you want something, go for it.
He realized a few people standing in line were staring at them with interest, particularly a stunning Latina woman who looked like a cat that had just caught a big, fat, juicy mouse.
Blaine cleared his throat. "Sorry, would you come with me for a second? I need to drop this at a trailer, and I would like to talk to you, if that's okay…"
"Sure," Kurt said instantly, sounding very eager. He inhaled sharply afterwards, looking mortified. "I mean… okay. Yeah."
Blaine smiled at him and gestured for him to follow him, guiding him towards Cooper's trailer at the end of the lot, where all the trailers were. He opened the door and let Kurt walk in before him.
Kurt stood in the middle of the trailer, looking around with obvious curiosity, almost like he was impressed. But then his eyes fell on Blaine, who had just placed the two food containers on the coffee table, and it seemed like his interest focused solely on him.
It sent warmth all over Blaine, and it made him feel a little less nervous.
"So," Blaine said, leaning against the arm of the couch. "I wanted to apologize for the other day."
Kurt deflated so suddenly it would have been funny if it wasn't because he looked absolutely dejected. "Oh. I see."
"Kurt," Blaine said, to make him look at him, because he was avoiding looking right at Blaine. "I don't regret what happened. I had a great time, both at the diner and at my place. I was just worried you were a little creeped out or that you regretted it. You left so quickly and seemed so uncomfortable, I…" He shook his head. "I realize there's quite an age difference between us, and I hope I didn't make things weird for you or anything…"
"No, not at all," Kurt said at once, so earnestly it was endearing. "I mean, I was uncomfortable, but not because of something you did. I was just… god, I was really embarrassed. I didn't want you to think I was some kind of easy slut who just slept around with anyone…" Kurt covered his face with his hands for a moment. "The way I behaved, and how I threw myself at you… I'm not like that, Blaine. I didn't want you to think I was."
"I didn't think that," Blaine reassured him calmly. "I promise."
"I just… I wanted you so much, I couldn't think straight," Kurt admitted shyly.
Blaine didn't understand exactly what his heart was doing in his chest, but it was thumping so loudly and out of control he didn't know what to do. "Me neither. I don't know what it was about you…" He paused and sighed, chuckling self-consciously. "Well, yeah, I do know. You're gorgeous, Kurt. I can't really think straight when you're around, either."
Kurt beamed at him, and it felt as if the sun had suddenly come out inside the trailer. Blaine wanted him to always smile like that, to always look that pleased and happy.
He wanted to be the one who made him look like that.
"And, for the record," Kurt murmured, rather coyly. "The age difference doesn't bother me. You're not old, Blaine. You're just older than me."
Blaine scrunched his nose, because he still wasn't sure if Kurt said that just to make him feel better or because he truly didn't care about it. "Okay. That's good." The static was still there, a crackling sound that it was hard to ignore. Blaine's fingers twitched – he wanted to reach out and brush Kurt's hair back or touch his cheek or hold his hand, anything.
He'd never had this kind of chemistry with anyone before, and it was intoxicating. He hoped Kurt felt it, too. It would have been devastating if he didn't.
Blaine's cellphone buzzed in his pocket, and he checked it quickly. He was needed on set. He cursed under his breath. "Sorry, I really have to go, but…" He took a deep breath. If the universe had put Kurt back in his path, it had to mean something, right? "Can I… can I get your phone number? I would love to take you out to dinner or something. Do things properly."
Kurt bit his lip, like he wanted to keep his smile in check, but there was a new glow in his eyes. He extended his hand, a silent request, and Blaine placed his phone on it. He tapped the screen a few times before handing it back, and Blaine looked down at the digits and the name recorded there now, like he was looking at something too amazing to exist.
"I should probably go back to my friend before she has a nervous breakdown, but I…" Kurt paused, and for a moment, it seemed to Blaine like he was having the same trouble holding back, not reaching out for him. It sent a thrill down his spine. "I hope to hear from you soon?"
"Very soon, I promise," Blaine said warmly, and Kurt smiled at him.
He opened the trailer door for him and Kurt walked out. Blaine stood there, frozen to the spot, for a few seconds, just watching him, and again, he felt a thrill when Kurt looked over his shoulder at where Blaine was, a joyful smile on his face, before he hurried to meet his friend.
Blaine gently touched the phone that was safely back in his pocket like it was the most precious thing he had ever owned.
Can't wait to hear what you think about this one!
See you next Saturday! Have a fantastic week!
L.-
