Entry 7:

I feel trapped. Dad has been gone for god knows how long and mom is drinking more than usual. I just wish for once she'd take a short break from drinking so I could tell her about school or just to actually know what it's like to have a mom. I usually go over to Sean's house, since he lives alone. I feel he actually gets me and knows what it's like to have an alcoholic parent.

One night I went over there, I fell asleep and stayed the night. I was scared of what mom might say or do, so I quickly hurried to the door. Before I could leave, Sean hit me with a huge question. "Will you move in?" I was in such a state of shock. I mean, couldn't he have waited till I had a cup of coffee?

I couldn't move in with him. Mom wouldn't be able to take care of herself and what if dad called or something?

Then came the night when mom passed out. She left the stove on and the whole house went up in flames. I was terribly frightened. I tried to get her up, but she wouldn't budge. I had to drag her out of the house. It wasn't until we were at the hospital when moving in became a possibility. I told mom that I could stay at Ashley's house until the house was a livable space. That's the night I moved in with Sean.

There was nothing awkward about the sleeping arrangements or showering arrangements. Things seemed perfect. There wasn't a care in sight. We threw a house warming party. We were all having a blast and enjoying ourselves, for the time being.

Then psycho mom stormed in and destroyed the party. Somehow in a sober stage, she was able to go to Ash's house and find out I hadn't been staying there.

When we got back home, I finally confronted mom about her drinking and my cutting. I told her that if I had to keep living with her, I would cut myself. She agreed to let me move in with Sean.

Things are great and I love it. I feel different around Sean. I just feel happy. But we all know that happy doesn't always work out for me. Allan K. Chalmers once said "The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

Something to do- Live with Sean

Something to love- Sean

Something to hope for- happiness