Chapter 2: Cliff Vs. Cow

Okay, so chapter 2 is actually up and running! Sorry I took so long, for hanging with my Uncle and boyfriend and whatever obstacle that came by me halted my writing career. I hope this goes alright, and please R&R because it would make me feel confident to write another chapter!

It was ANOTHER beautiful, sunny day where it was actually raining. More like a monsoon really, with all the wind and rain and flooding in the great pastures beyond where our favorite blonde-haired conceited man stood.

Cliff Fittir was looking for a challenge. A great challenge no one has defeated just yet. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to fight Mirage again, for fear he may lose to her once more and be called a wimpy little boy the rest of his life. Though he also helped destroy the creator of universe, wasn't there anything more to provide a challenge for him?

He scanned the valley as he spotted a pasture full of brown spotted white cows. In fact, anything he saw beyond that was grass, grass, grass . . . OH, LOOK OVER THERE! It's . . .! More grass.

"Hmph . . . is that the only thing out here?" Cliff rested a hand on his side as he gazed at the cows. Finally he came up with an idea that blared RIIING like a telephone.

"Hey, why don't I have hamburgers for lunch?" He yelled as he gave his sadistic, Kefka-like battle cry, running down the pasture, readying his fists. He came across a great . . . HUGE . . . baby cow that was three feet tall and was scrawny as a chicken. A really scrawny chicken. ANYWAYS . . . the young . . . well somewhat middle-aged-even-though-he-doesn't-look-it man took the charge and was about to swing at the helpless baby cow until . . .

WHAM!

Cliff found himself with a bloody nose as he became bewildered at what was going on around the pasture. It was so weird, for what could hit him in the middle of the pasture? Highly doubt it was the cows . . .

Wiping his nose, Cliff rose from the ground, wanting vengeance for whoever knocked him flat. Yet, there was no one in sight. Sighing he returned to his attempt at butchering the poor little moo-moos. Unfortunately when he was close to the baby cow . .

WHAM!

Sprawling, Cliff fell on his face for the second time as his nose was filled with both dirt and blood. What the hell was going on here? No HUMAN could've snuck and popped him one, unless it was an invisible human, which didn't seem likely at all because Cliff was stuck in the middle of nowhere. THEN WHO?

Suddenly he heard clowns snickering maniacally. It made him want to cry like a little baby because Cliff had a fear of Freddy Kreuger, which in turn he had a fear of Freddy Kreuger in a clown costume, which finally leads to his fear of clowns. As he gazed toward the source of the laughing clowns, he figured out it wasn't laughing clown at all but . . .

HIGHLY TRAINED SUPER MATRIX-STYLE NINJA COWS!

Once the highly-trained-super-matrix-style-ninja cows stopped laughing, they immediately circled the young, whimpering, pretty much crying like a little Barbie doll man and immediately began pounding on him matrix-style. They threw hooves left and right in slow-motion and freeze frame mode, hitting him in the face, leaving scars everywhere. They also covered his face in warm milk with their super blaster cannon utters, leaving poor Cliff in the face of loss.

"MOMMY!" Cliff screamed as he was finished off with the super incredible sniff attack, once used by the cow's Uncle, Little Bunny Fu-Fu! It was the end, for no conceited man could ever withstand any attack linked to Little Bunny Fu-Fu. By the time the ambulance reached the spot where he lied (which took pretty much 26.2899 hours), he was covered in 26 gallons of milk . . .