Nel Vs. Telemarketer

I'm sorry Nel, forgive me. This is going to be an odd combination but I will definitely pull this off! Thank you reviewers for inspiring me!

In the darkness of an abbey hides a spy. The Crimson blade, no doubt.

Nel sighed.

"This is hopeless, what is there to do around here?" Little did she know . . .

"Psst . . ." Nel jumped at the call.

"Must be my imagination . . ." Nel held a hand to her forehead and shook it slowly, knowing that it was just a false alarm. She sat silently . . . EVER so silently until . . .

"Psst . . . NEL!"

"AHH!" Nel jumped and turned around to find . . . to FIND . . . a CLOAKED FIGURE! insert faraway scream Nel wasn't too amused. She narrowed her eyes and spoke in a threatening voice.

"Who are you . . . what do you want?" She quickly unsheathed her blades and was already in battle stance before the cloaked figure (or anyone for that matter) yelled, "BUGGABOOTAKILAKIMOOMOO!"

"I've come to defeat you Nel . . . beware of my powers . . ." The cloaked figure spoke.

"Once again, who are you?" Nel was ready to attack, but quickly the figure jumped into the shadows.

"Okay, that was quite odd." She sighed once more and thought about her current situation. However, within a few minutes . . .

"RING!"

"Huh?"

"RIIING?"

"Who could that be?" Nel looked around for the source of the ringing.

"PICK UP THE CELL INSIDE YOUR CLOAK YOU INSOLENT PHONE-DEPRIVED FREAK!" Some one shouted from the shadows.

"Fine, fine. Sheesh." Nel immediately answered her new cell phone.

Breathing was the only sound that emitted from the phone. What was it, though? Who in blue Hades could possibly be stalking her (besides all those fan boys out there)?

Pressing the end button on her cell, Nel released a breath of hopelessness. Folding her arms, she looked toward the opening of the abbey and wondered who that mysterious being could be. Too bad that thought didn't last long.

RIING!

Grumbling, Nel flipped open her cell phone again and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Would you like to buy this great new item from Window Panes Ect.? Have you ever wondered what life could be like with one? Have you ever . . ." IT WENT ON AND ON!

"AAH!" Nel screamed as she attempted to hit the end button. However, it wouldn't end! The voice kept going on and on about window panes! Why would she even buy one?

"Blah, blah, blah, window pane, blah, blah, blah, only $129, blah, blah, blah . . . SUFFER!"

Next thing you know, a block of limburger cheese hit her face, knocking the poor woman out. The End.

Um . . . yeah . . . review if ya dare.