Entry 15:

Have you ever reached your breaking point? It's as if all the sudden, your problems bubble to the surface, and then you fly into a rage. You try to manage it and bottle it back up, but fail. It's like when you shake a bottle of soda, and then when you finally open it up, it goes everywhere. You could say I was a bottle of shaken up soda today. It came to the point where I left home for good.

I didn't take too much. I grabbed my backpack and filled it with two outfits, a toothbrush, a brush, drumsticks, my journal, one hundred dollars, and a pair of pajamas. I went down to the train station and bought a ticket to Alberta. I hopped on the train and headed to my cousin's house. I wasn't truly thrilled of going to live with him, but it had to be better then my current living condition.

Will, my cousin, was just any other family member. We had maybe spoken to each other a couple of times when I was younger at family gatherings. The only way I knew how to get to him was by the return addresses that were on birthday cards. When I got to his place, I was more than stunned by his living space. It wasn't terrible, but it could've been better. He offered me a cup of coffee, and I accepted his kind gesture. I checked in one of his cabinets for sugar, and I found a small bag of it. I was two seconds away from pouring it in, when Will stopped me. "Geeze, Ellie. Don't be pourin' my heroin in your coffee!"

"Excuse me?" I questioned. "Pure Brown Gold. Didn't you pay attention in D.A.R.E.?" I just nodded and stared in bewilderment. My cousin, the drug addict? I couldn't handle this right now. I'm attempting to go for a stress free life.

I awoke the next morning with one thing on my mind: finding a job. Will asked me what my plans were for the day, and I told him: "Oh, I just need to find a job."

"I happen to know there's an opening in a small business."

"Really? Which one?"

"Will Nash: Company of love."

"Oh…"

"Look, if you don't want the job-"

"No, I do."

"Okay. Here's fifty bucks. Go out and find yourself something slutty."

I grabbed the money. I was baffled by what he had said. But, I needed the money. Once I was done with shopping, I came home.

"So, what did you pick?" I opened up the bag and revealed a short, red dress. "It's perfect."

I smiled nervously. He then gave me a card with an address on it. "What is this?"

"It's your corner." he answered.

"Corner?"

"Prostitution? Selling your body? Hello? Welcome to the planet!"

"Wait, you're a pimp?"

"Yep. I'm pimpin' you for drugs."

What the hell did I get myself into!

I stood on my corner trembling. What was I supposed to do? Just stand there? My thoughts drifted away when a car pulled up beside me. I got in and off we drove. Being still a virgin, I wasn't quite sure what to do. I kind of just laid there and moaned, trying to earn as much money as I could. I ended up earning a thousand dollars. I walked back home.

"How much did you make?"

I reached into my purse and pulled out my cash. He grabbed it from me and started counting it.

"You did good kid." He praised me, as he slid the money into his back pocket.

"Wait! That's my money; I earned it."

"El, I know were family and all, but business is business." I shifted uneasily. "But I earned it…"

"So? Look sweetie, I own you." He grinned at me and walked away.

So let's recap: I just slept with some pig, just to have the money that I earned, taken away? This wasn't the real Ellie Nash. Ellie Nash wasn't a prostitute. But I guess that people have to change at some point, right?

Entry 16:

It was my third night on the job. I made six thousand dollars, but I only received twenty of that, because I went out and retrieved Will's drugs.

I guess I got what I wanted. I had started over and rejuvenated my life. Only this time, as a prostitute. When you begin in this business, you can never feel clean. You can scrub at your skin all night, but it doesn't make a difference. You feel like there is something crawling on you at all times. Once you establish yourself in this career, you can never leave it. You become suffocated with fear and regret. You eventually reach the point where you will only be known as a prostitute.

I've become very good at what I do. I know it's not the best thing to think, but it's true. It's unbelievable of how I morphed into this person. Somehow the real me ran away, and now all that's left is this dirty person.

I've earned plenty of money to start living on my own, but like Will said, he owns me. Last night I came home with a grand and his heroin. "Will, is it at all possible for me to keep some of the money I earn?"

"Why do you need it?"

"I don't know; maybe to start living on my own…"

"I left the life I was living for a better place. So far, my life is still hell!"

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions!" he smirked.

I wrath boiled up in me. I reached for my shoe and hurled it at his head. He came back and slapped my face so hard, I feel to the floor. "Don't you ever talk to me that way ever again, you whore!" he grunted as he walked off.

I shook as I started to regain my equilibrium. When I got to my feet, I looked at the ground and saw the bag of heroin. I bent to pick it up. I threw it into my bag and left Will's home.

I headed to my corner and crawled into the back alley way. I rested my head on the pavement and curled into a ball. Tears streamed down my face. If Will could make so much money off of me, I could do the same. Start becoming friends with the streets, Ellie, I thought to myself. These are the streets, no one is here to hold you and protect you from this unkind world. Throw all the bad memories away and let them fly away in the wind.