Happy Saturday!
Wow, wow, I was expecting strong reactions about Cooper, but not quite like this! I'm so glad you guys are excited about where this is going. There's going to be a lot more about this in the next few chapters, starting with this one ;) Thanks for all your great comments.
Love, love, love to Christine for being such a supportive beta.
Love, love, love to Sofi for being awesome at keeping me motivated.
Enjoy!
The next day was grey, quiet and lazy, as if it was reflecting their moods. Blaine was silent, pensive, and Kurt didn't want to interrupt whatever it was that he was trying to work out internally, but despite not having much to say, Blaine was tactile and a bit needy, reaching out for him constantly, putting his hand on Kurt's thigh as they had breakfast, shoulders pressed together as they sat at the small kitchen table, arm around him as they showered, forehead pressed to the back of his neck as the water fell on them. Kurt wasn't about to complain – if Blaine needed the closeness, he was ready to give it to him.
Maybe he needed it a bit, too.
He knew now, in the light of day, that it had been stupid of him, letting Cooper's words make him doubt what he had with Blaine.
Because even if it was meant to end at some point, if Cooper was right and Blaine didn't love him, it would still be worth it.
This was the most meaningful relationship Kurt had ever had, and he was going to hold on to it as long as he could.
He realized it made him seem desperate, but he didn't care. It wasn't up to Cooper, what he and Blaine did. It was only up to them, and Kurt would keep choosing Blaine until he was no longer an option.
They spent their afternoon snuggling on the couch and watching movies, although Kurt could tell Blaine was paying absolutely no attention to what was going on in the screen. With a little sigh, he reached for the remote and paused it. He shifted a bit where he was laying half on top of Blaine, head resting on his chest, so he could look up at him.
"Want to talk about it?" He offered at last, because as the day went on, he had hoped Blaine would look less troubled, but it had only gotten worse. "You know I'm here if you want to talk."
Blaine's hand travelled up his back, cupping the back of his head, fingers tangling on his hair. "Thank you, I know. I'm just… not sure. I'm not even sure of what I think." He sighed and ran his other hand down his face. He looked tired, older. "He's always been a bit self-centered, he's always been incredibly oblivious, and he can definitely be a little rude, but he's never… this is not my brother, Kurt."
"Maybe you should talk to him," Kurt murmured, pressing a kiss to the center of his chest. "You've said he's been weird for a while and he keeps waving off your concerns. Maybe it's time you sit him down and force him to talk to you."
"I know," Blaine said. "I just can't even look at him right now."
Kurt smiled sadly up at him. "I told you last night – I don't want to be the reason you two have issues. It doesn't matter what he said."
"It matters to me," Blaine insisted. "He's my brother. He's the only family I have left. Why can't he just…" He stopped clearly frustrated. "Why can't he just be happy for me? Why can't he see that I'm finally happy after so many years of disappointments?"
Kurt carefully crawled up Blaine's body a couple of inches, just enough so he could kiss him. "I don't have the answers to those questions, sweetheart. The only one who can answer them is Cooper."
Blaine didn't say anything for a little while, just continued to gently play with Kurt's hair, not really looking at him in the eyes, until he muttered, quietly: "You know I don't believe any of the things Cooper said, right? I don't know what he said before I got there, but none of it is true. I know you're not after money or meeting people who can help you out or… I know you're not using me, is what I mean."
"I know that you know," Kurt whispered, pressing his hand to Blaine's heart. "But just for the record… I would l-like you even if you were the hot dog vendor outside my building who pees on our stoop."
Blaine burst into laughter – an unexpected, wonderful sound that Kurt felt he hadn't heard in too long.
And apparently he hadn't notice Kurt's faltering change of direction, because he had almost told Blaine he loved him.
It just wasn't the right time. Not today. Not yet.
"Well, that's a huge relief," Blaine said, face wrinkled with his smile and god, he was handsome. Kurt felt himself melting a bit against him. "But I promise I won't pee on your stoop."
"Thank you, I appreciate that," Kurt said seriously. "I don't want to ruin my new Louboutin boots. They were a Christmas present from a very, very special guy."
Blaine sighed, but it sounded less heavy, and he relaxed against the couch, as he wrapped his arms around Kurt to keep him in place. "I think that guy thinks you're the special one."
Kurt gave a little nonchalant shrug. "Well, duh."
Blaine laughed again. God, Kurt wanted him to always laugh, to never look haunted and worried again, to never have to second guess anything. "Thank you," Blaine said. "You just… you make me feel better. Every time. And I know nothing's fixed because I still need to talk to Cooper, but… you always manage to make me feel like everything will be alright."
"That's what I'm here for," Kurt said, lips brushing a kiss to Blaine's temple.
What? You think he's actually got feelings for you? Because he doesn't. He wouldn't.
Maybe he would. Maybe he did.
Kurt reached for the remote again while Blaine returned the kiss to his forehead. "Do you want to keep watching the movie?"
"I honestly don't even know what we were watching," Blaine admitted.
"It's fine, I'll just restart it…" Kurt said, as his phone began to vibrate on the coffee table. With a sigh, he stretched to reach it, reluctant to leave Blaine's embrace for it. It was Rachel, so he accepted the call. "Hey Rachel. What's up?"
"Hi Kurt," she said in a soft voice. "Are you at Blaine's?"
"Yeah, why?" Kurt asked.
"Were you planning to come home at all today?" She sounded a bit nervous, and Kurt didn't like that. He slowly sat up.
"I haven't even thought about it, but probably, yes. I didn't bring any clothes for work tomorrow and I need my school bag. What's going on, Rachel?" He insisted, worried.
"I think it would be nice if you could come home a little earlier than planned," she replied carefully. "Uhm. I'm here with Santana. She's going to kill me if she knows I called you, but I think she needs you. I think she needs both of us right now."
"Okay," he pulled the phone away from his ear to check the time. "I think I can be there in about an hour? Would that be okay?"
"That's perfect," Rachel sighed in clear relief. "I'll see you then. I have to go now."
"Okay," Kurt repeated. "I'll be right there."
Blaine was frowning in concern when Kurt ended the call. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I've been summoned to a roommate council," Kurt replied, trying to make light of the situation, but he was worried, too. "So I have to go home."
Blaine nodded slowly. "Alright. Will you call me later, let me know if everything's okay?"
"Of course," Kurt leaned in to peck him quickly on the lips before he stood up to head upstairs and get dressed.
By the time he got to the loft, Kurt had already gone through every possible reason why Santana would need him, and he still had no idea what to expect. He pulled the door open and found Rachel sitting unusually quiet at the kitchen table, Santana standing at the counter making tea, wearing her short robe and a towel on her head, which usually meant she had just taken a bath.
Santana looked over her shoulder when she heard the door, and at finding Kurt there, turned to Rachel with a glare. "You called Hummel?"
"I thought he needed to be here for this," Rachel replied, crossing her arms over her chest, looking defensive.
Santana turned back to her tea. "This is not a discussion. This is not something you two have any say on. I'm not proposing we paint the walls or change the leaking taps in the bathroom – which we should, by the way."
Kurt dropped his coat on the back of a kitchen chair. "Can someone just tell me what the hell is going on?"
Santana remained silent. She began to stir her tea as if it was the most important thing in the world right now, every movement deeply calculated and careful.
Something was certainly wrong.
Kurt turned to Rachel, who sighed and said: "Santana's quitting the show."
"What?" Kurt muttered, incredulous. "Santana, you can't…"
"I sure can," Santana said softly. He took her mug and walked to the couch, where she sat without looking at them.
Kurt followed after her and took a seat on the coffee table in front of her. "Why would you quit the show? You were so excited…"
"That was before I knew that the only reason I got in is because I look like a whore," Santana replied, her voice so even it was unnatural. Usually, when Santana was upset, she screamed, often in Spanish, which was annoying because you never knew if she was insulting you or not.
Kurt deflated. "You know that's not true and you can't let what Cooper said take this from you."
"It's a stupid show anyway," Santana shrugged.
Rachel approached and sat down next to Kurt. "You didn't think that yesterday."
Santana took a sip of tea. "It doesn't matter what I thought yesterday. It's a new day, Berry. I changed my mind." She turned to Kurt, clearly ready to change the subject. "What about you? Did you and your sugar daddy move past this?"
Kurt massaged his temple. "Please, don't call him that. He's… working through things, and so am I. But we're not talking about Blaine and me right now."
"You two can spend the rest of your lives trying to make me change my mind, but I've made my decision. I don't want to be anywhere near Cooper Anderson ever again," she said, and for the first time, her voice cracked a bit, the vulnerability breaking through. "You should understand this better than anyone. I thought I was talented. I thought I could win this in the blink of an eye. I thought… I thought for once I was worth more than the way I look."
"Santana, you're so much more than the way you look," Kurt said at once, reaching to grab her hand. She must have been feeling really bad, because she actually allowed it. "You're fierce and intelligent and yes, so damn talented it's scary. I was at your audition, remember? I saw the way the judges fought to get you on their teams. Just because Cooper doesn't appreciate you, it doesn't mean you aren't amazing."
Rachel smiled a bit. "I think Kurt is right. You're so fierce, Santana. Are you really going to let one man's opinion stop you? You eat idiots like him for breakfast. Cooper doesn't stand a chance against you."
Santana took another sip of tea and then pulled her hand out of Kurt's. "I already emailed the production to let them know I'm dropping out of the show."
Kurt shook his head. "Oh Santana. What about your contract? Didn't you sign one?"
"I said that if they don't let me break my contract then I'm suing them all for sexual harassment," she shrugged again. "I'm pretty sure they won't want me to make a scandal."
Kurt and Rachel exchanged a quick glance. It was done, then. It didn't matter what they said.
"What are you going to do now?" Rachel asked softly.
Santana stood up. "The only thing I'm good at," she said and, without any further explanation, she walked towards her bedroom.
Kurt and Rachel let her walk away. They didn't know how to help her.
"I've never seen her like this," Rachel whispered, making sure Santana wouldn't hear her.
"Me neither," Kurt said, throwing his arm around her. Rachel immediately snuggled against his side. "We'll need to keep an eye on her. She needs us, Rach."
"I know," Rachel said.
It was dreadful when the alarm went off on Monday morning. Blaine turned it off and stayed in bed a lot longer than he should have, just staring at the ceiling and willing himself to get up.
He wasn't really looking forward to seeing his brother today.
He was still so mad at Cooper – and even more since he had talked to Kurt last night and found out that Santana was quitting the show. Blaine had offered to stop by the loft and talk to her to reassure her that she could stay on the show and that he would make sure she was transferred to another team, but Kurt said there was no point. When Santana Lopez made up her mind, there was no stopping her.
Blaine felt like it was his responsibility to fix it, but he just didn't know how.
The only thing he could do was get out of bed and face his brother, once and for all, and get him to finally tell him what the hell was going on.
He followed his morning routine as if it were any other day – he got up and drank a quick smoothie before he headed to the gym for a brief workout, showered and got dressed. He sent Kurt a good morning text as he left the house, and got into a cab. He picked up their usual orders at the coffee shop down the street from Cooper's building. And he took a deep, steadying breath before he opened the door.
Cooper was already up, sitting on the couch and looking like hell, flipping through the channels on the television. He didn't even look away from the screen when he heard Blaine come in and drop his keys in the bowl on the side table.
"Good morning," Blaine said.
"Morning," Cooper replied.
It felt like the air was charged with… something. Blaine couldn't identify it. But he knew he didn't like it.
Blaine put Cooper's cup on the coffee table within his reach and then leaned on the armrest of the large leather chair, regarding his brother. "I think you and I need to talk."
Cooper grabbed his coffee and took a sip. "What's on the schedule for today?" He asked.
He wasn't even going to acknowledge what had happened at the party, then. Blaine sighed. "Cooper. I'm serious."
Cooper finally looked away from the television, briefly. There were dark marks under his eyes, like he hadn't slept properly in weeks. "I don't think there's anything to talk about."
Blaine blinked, incredulous. "So you're not even going to try to apologize for what you did?"
Cooper shrugged as he drank more coffee.
Blaine took the remote from his brother's hand and turned the television off. "Stop acting like a petulant child. You owe me an apology. You owe my boyfriend and his friends an apology."
Cooper leaned back, sprawling a bit on the couch. He looked exhausted. "They weren't invited."
"I invited them," Blaine retorted. He couldn't believe Cooper wouldn't even recognize he had done something wrong.
"Your birthday is in April. Invite them to that," Cooper said, still not looking at him.
Blaine laughed bitterly. "Wow. Wow, Cooper. Honestly, I thought you would at least regret what you did. I thought you were better than this…"
Cooper just drank more coffee.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Blaine asked, feeling himself getting too close to the limit. "Do you know that Santana has quit the show? She doesn't want to be part of it anymore, she's letting go of something that was a huge opportunity for her, because you called her a whore, Cooper."
There was a flash of something in his brother's face – it may have been guilt and regret, but it was gone too fast for Blaine to properly pinpoint it.
"And I don't even want to know what the hell you said to Kurt," Blaine said, his voice rising until he was shouting. "It has to have been really bad, worse than what I heard, because he won't tell me what it is. So I'm going to ask you again, Cooper, what the hell is wrong with you?" When Cooper remained motionless, Blaine felt his anger growing. "Fuck you! You know what? Fuck you, Cooper. I don't know what I've done for you to do this, but I don't think I deserve it! For the first time in fucking decades I'm happy. I have someone who makes me happy, and you don't give a shit about it!"
"You're never here anymore," Cooper said at last, still not looking at him, eyes focused on the cup he twirled and twirled and twirled in his hands. "You're unfocused and unprofessional and…"
"Fuck you," Blaine repeated, furious. "Fuck you, you childish, arrogant, selfish asshole. I've lived my life for you! I've done nothing but stay by your side and cater to your every need and this is how you repay me?"
"Shut up," Cooper muttered under his breath.
"You need to grow the hell up, Cooper," Blaine said.
"Yeah, you keep saying that, but I'm not the one playing house with the twenty year old," Cooper said quietly, and it felt like a slap. "I may sleep around with a different woman every week, but I'm not kidding myself like you are. It's not going to work, Blaine. He's going to walk away, either because he got what he wanted from you, or because he got tired of fucking someone twice his age…"
"You don't know what you're talking about…" Blaine said, feeling a little breathless.
"Yes, I do. Everyone walks away! Everyone takes what they want and then gets rid of you when you aren't useful anymore!" Cooper yelled. "When are you going to learn that? Stop believing in fucking fairy-tales, Blaine."
"You're just saying this because you're upset that my time isn't exclusively yours anymore," Blaine said angrily. "But you keep forgetting that before working for you, I was your brother, even if it means nothing to you…"
"It means everything to me," Cooper retorted.
"Well, you have a really shitty way of showing me you care!" Blaine laughed humorlessly. This conversation was giving him a headache.
"I do what I can…"
"It's not enough!" Blaine yelled. "There's a whole wide world, Cooper, and you're not the center of it. I've been by your side all these years, I felt guilty for making you choose me over dad, I tried my best to make it up to you, to be everything you needed, but I can't do this anymore…"
"Blaine…" There was a slight shake in Cooper's voice now.
"I have no idea what the hell is going on with you lately..." Blaine said. He was having trouble breathing. It felt as if whatever happened now would mean there would be no going back. But Cooper... Cooper had broken his trust, had gone so far over the line that Blaine couldn't ignore it anymore. He didn't want to ignore it anymore. It was too hard. It was taking too much from him. "You've always been selfish, you've always been arrogant, but..."
"Don't say that," Cooper murmured, like every word was painful.
"... you've become a person that..." Blaine paused. It hurt. It hurt knowing something was broken. He loved Cooper, and he knew that deep down inside Cooper had to love him, but... sometimes it wasn't enough. "I don't think it's healthy for me to be around you anymore."
Cooper's face fell. He went very pale very fast. "Blaine, don't."
"I've put you first all these years," Blaine shook his head. There was a knot in his throat, and it was making it hard to talk, hard to breathe. But he knew he needed to say this. "You're my only family and that means something to me. But I need more in my life than just being your assistant. And until you learn how to be my brother... I don't think this is going to work."
"No, no, no," Cooper scrambled to his feet and towards Blaine. He grabbed his brother's arms, clawing at him desperately. "Don't. Please don't leave me. You can't leave me..."
The tears were building in Blaine's eyes, making his vision blurry. "I'm sorry, Coop. You're going to have to find someone else to take care of your laundry and your groceries and your schedule..."
"No," Cooper was grabbing him so tightly, it hurt. "You can't leave me. Blaine..."
He looked so terrified, it made Blaine pause. "Cooper, I think it might be for the best..."
"No, no, please," Cooper insisted, growing more and more desperate. "You're all I have. If you leave, I have nothing." He didn't look his age right now – even if he towered over Blaine, several inches taller, he seemed like a small, petrified child. His blue eyes were filled with tears. "I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore, please."
Blaine frowned as he watched him, confused. "What? What is it you can't do anymore?"
"Don't leave me alone," Cooper said, as if he hadn't even listened to him. "I can't stop them when I'm alone."
Now Blaine, anger receding and leaving room to fear, was the one who grabbed his brother's arms. He pushed Cooper gently until he sat down on the couch. Blaine sat down next to him, studying his face. "What do you mean, Cooper? What can't you stop?"
"The thoughts," Cooper gasped, wide eyed. "The memories."
It made absolutely no sense. It was as if Cooper had lost his mind. Blaine had never seen him like this. "What thoughts? What memories?"
There was a moment of silence, and then Cooper's eyes went even wider, horrified, as if he was suddenly aware of what he had just said. He stood up so abruptly, he almost knocked Blaine off the couch, and walked to the opposite side of the room, putting distance between them.
"Cooper..." Blaine said, quietly. He had no idea what the hell was going on. "Talk to me."
Cooper smiled. It seemed so out of place right now, after what they had said to each other, after how they had screamed. And that was when Blaine realized – that was Cooper's biggest mask. He hid behind his big, bright, glossy as the cover of a magazine smile. And Blaine had been so, so busy running around putting his life together for him that he hadn't even noticed when it stopped being something real.
Maybe it had never been real.
"I'm fine," Cooper lied – because now Blaine could see the lie. "Looks like we just need some time off, huh? You've been so busy planning my birthday and running errands and..."
"Cooper," Blaine murmured, and he was scared now, really scared.
"... doing everything else," Cooper continued, ignoring him. "We're both tense and tired. A vacation. That should fix everything, right? Where do you want to go?"
The smile was still in place, and it only twitched when Blaine said: "Cooper, I'm not going anywhere."
Cooper rolled his eyes, like he couldn't understand why his brother was so stubborn. "Is this about Kurt? Fine, you can bring him along. I'll... I'll apologize to him. I was just drunk, that's all. I said things I didn't mean..."
"Cooper, stop!" Blaine screamed. The smile faltered completely now. "You're freaking me out."
Cooper looked away. "Maybe you should just go."
"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what..." Blaine began to say, but Cooper cut him off.
"Please, just go. It doesn't matter," he turned around, his back to Blaine.
"For god's sake, Cooper, when the hell will you talk to me?" Blaine said, half frustrated, half in despair. "We haven't had an honest conversation in years. How do you expect me to know what you need and what you're going through if you don't...?"
"I don't want you to know!" Cooper exploded, effectively silencing Blaine. He was breathing harshly, like holding himself back until this moment had taken a toll on him. "You already think I'm not a good person, and you don't even know the worst things I've done, the things that have been done to me! You think I chose this? You think I chose this life? You think I want to be a person no one wants to be around, unless it's convenient? I know I'm difficult, okay? I do my best! I'm sorry if it's not enough!"
Blaine was frozen, sitting on the edge of the couch, looking at his brother, feeling like he was tilting on the edge of something that was too big. "What did you do?" He asked, voice shaking, before he asked the question that scared him the most: "What do you mean, the things that have been done to you? Who did them?"
"Who do you think?" Cooper spat bitterly. "Dad! Isn't it always him? You think just because I'm straight I had it easy with him? He may have been hard on you because you're gay, but I didn't have it any easier! I was his golden boy, but only because I filled his pockets and his bank accounts! You think I wanted it? To be carried from one part of the country to the next, from one continent to another, being forced to perform even when I didn't want to? Did you know I wanted to go to college and he didn't let me? Did you know I asked him to let me quit the band because I was unhappy and he said to tough it up? Did you know he used to drug me so I would perform better and longer, so I wouldn't collapse under the stress of having shows every night? Did you know he used to starve me so I would be skinny and pretty and sell more records?"
"Cooper..." Blaine breathed out, feeling sick to his stomach.
"There are entire years of my life that I don't remember because I was too drugged up to really know what the hell was going on. I go to bed every night and I can't sleep because I can only think about those days. So I find a beautiful woman who will distract me, but it's not enough. Nothing is enough. I go to parties and I go to work and I smile at people who want to take pictures with me in restaurants and in bars, and I tell myself I'm lucky," Cooper said, eyes filled with tears, his whole body shaking as he finally lost control. "I'm angry and I'm miserable, and I'm fucking selfish and shallow, yes, I know I am, but I can't afford to be any other way. It takes so much effort to keep afloat and to not think and at the end of the day I'm exhausted and scared that it won't be enough."
"I didn't..." Blaine tried to say.
"I'm fifty years old and I wasted my life because I wasn't allowed to learn how to live it under my terms. You're the only person I care about and I've had to keep you at arms' length for decades because I was too afraid you'd find out about all this and leave me..." Cooper's anger seemed to dim and dim until he was no longer screaming, his words becoming mere whispers. "And now you know."
Blaine was paralyzed. Never, in a million years, would he have imagined Cooper was going to say this. Was it his fault? Should he have paid more attention instead of buying into the idea that his brother was this big celebrity, superficial and distant? He had been young, but not blind. How had he not seen Cooper's suffering?
"Coop..." He muttered weakly. "I'm so sorry..."
"You don't have to say anything," Cooper said brusquely.
"How can you think I would leave you?" Blaine asked, shaking his head.
Cooper let out a little chuckle, a very unhappy one. "Weren't you trying to walk out of here not even fifteen minutes ago? And that was before I told you any of this..."
"That was different," Blaine said at once. "I was angry. You were rude to people I care about, and I didn't know any of this..."
"I told your boyfriend he's just a little fuck toy you'll get bored of eventually," Cooper said, looking right into his eyes. Blaine felt the anger trying to bubble inside of him again but he held it back. "I told him you'd get sick of fucking him and walk away. The first person who makes you smile in years, and what do I do? I try to break it."
"Look, that wasn't okay, and we'll talk about it, but..."
"No," Cooper interrupted, lifting his hand to stop him. "Don't let it slide. You always let things slide with me. What if I had cost you your relationship with Kurt? What if I had pushed him to a breaking point? Because I was ready to do that, Blaine."
"Why?" Blaine muttered helplessly.
"Because you've been spending so much time with him," Cooper shrugged. Coffee cup forgotten, he turned to the small bar by the fireplace and poured himself a whisky. Blaine didn't say anything. It was not the right time to point out it was barely nine in the morning. "Because I'm selfish..."
"Please, don't..."
"No, it's okay. I know I am." Cooper gulped the contents of the glass. "I'm intolerable sometimes, and I ask too much of you, and I know that. But I'm just... I was afraid that being your brother wouldn't be enough of a reason to stay."
Blaine ran a hand through his hair, feeling empty and a little desperate. "You should have talked to me."
Cooper forwent the glass and grabbed the bottle of whisky instead. He headed back to the couch with it and sat down. "That's not my strong suit. Vulnerability, I mean. Or honesty."
Blaine sat next to him again and tried to reach out, to touch his arm, but Cooper pushed away. "We'll work through this, okay? We will..."
"No," Cooper said firmly. "No. You wanted to walk away and you were right."
"I won't leave you..." Blaine said, horrified.
"But you should," Cooper smiled sadly at him. "Because I don't deserve your loyalty. I've screwed things up more than once. And I would probably do it again because I don't know how not to do that. And I did say those things to Kurt – and to Santana. And though I'm sorry... I would probably do it again, Blaine. Because that's how fucked up I am."
"You don't have to do it again," Blaine said, shifting a little closer. He tried to touch him again, to provide some sort of comfort, to show him he was here, but Cooper just moved away. "Isn't it enough to know that I'm your brother, I will always be your brother, I will always love you and have your back… but I can also have other people in my life?"
"I can't help it!" Cooper exploded again – it was like witnessing a volcano, hot lava slipping over, the disaster imminent, and yet Blaine couldn't move, couldn't look away. "Don't you understand? I'm all fucked up inside! I can't even trust my head half of the time! What do you think is going to happen if things between you and Kurt get serious? I'm going to have to actually get to know him, and not just one random dinner, but to have an actual relationship with him… and he will see everything, Blaine. Because I can't keep up pretenses all the time, it's exhausting, and he'll know."
"Cooper, he won't care," Blaine said earnestly. He knew. He knew Kurt was a good guy, and despite whatever Cooper had said to him, he would forgive him, he would understand, he would try to help. "He's so great and kind, he wouldn't…" He shook his head, not seeing where the problem was. "He's not the first person to be in my life for a long time. Tina's been by my side since high school…"
"There's a reason I avoid her, Blaine!" Cooper yelled, letting his head fall in his hands. "There's a reason I keep telling you she's boring and dull and whatever else will make you think I don't like her or her husband or even her children…"
"And there were other boyfriends, although they weren't around that long, but there was Derek, too. You seemed to like him, you…" Blaine paused when Cooper lifted his head, eyes wide in horror. "What?"
"Don't make me say this, Blaine," he said, voice a little strangled.
"Say what?" Blaine asked, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. He suddenly felt as if his heart had slowed down in his chest, beating at a glacial pace.
Cooper sighed. "Who do you think introduced him to that producer?"
Blaine took a step back, stunned. "No. What are you…?"
"You went to get him a drink and I swooped in, introduced them, told Derek about this great new project Paul was working on, and how it would be a great opportunity for him…"
"No," Blaine muttered again.
"And he kept asking me 'what about Blaine? What about Blaine?' and I told him he shouldn't miss a big career opportunity just for a relationship," Cooper continued, every word sharp like a knife. "And then I offered to pay for his plane ticket."
There was a rush of nausea deep inside of Blaine, raising, raising, until he said: "Fuck, Cooper! How could you do that to me?"
"He was getting too close!" Cooper yelled back. "You two were engaged, we were going to be family, and I couldn't…"
"It wasn't about you!" Blaine screamed – he felt blind with rage. "If you have issues, you talk to me and we work them out, but you don't have the right to wreck my life! Do you know how long it took for me to recover from that? My own fiancé walking out on me out of the blue when I thought everything had finally fallen into place?" Blaine stood up and put distance between them, pacing the living room like a caged beast. "You saw me. You saw what bad shape I was in and you didn't… fuck! And you were willing to do the same thing with Kurt!"
"I told you…" Cooper started, but Blaine couldn't hear him anymore.
He was done.
"No. You've said enough," he said coldly. This was his brother, his only family, and he probably needed Blaine more than ever, but for the first time in his life… Blaine couldn't stay. "I have to go."
Cooper scrambled to his feet, looking on the edge of despair. "No, Blaine, wait… let me…"
"No," Blaine cut him off dryly. "For once in your life, Cooper, keep your mouth shut and don't make things worse."
Cooper stood in the middle of the living room, pleading eyes on him, but Blaine couldn't breathe. He needed to leave. He needed to put some distance between himself and the knowledge that Cooper had been responsible for one of the most miserable chapters of his life.
He slammed the door behind himself as he left.
He didn't know if he would be able to open it again.
There is a lot to unpack in this chapter, and I honestly cannot wait to see what you guys have to say about all of this! I'm really looking forward to reading your comments.
Thanks for taking the time to read. I'll see you on Wednesday!
L.-
