Alright, here is the next chapter. I have to admit this was kind of a hard chappie to write! Hope you enjoy, don't hate me just yet! I promise things will get better for Jenna and Erik. As always, let me know what you think:)
Things passed quietly in the manor, work became increasingly busy for both Erik and Jenna, they rarely saw each other during the day seeing as Jenna was often in Paris in the office with Bernard. A week before Thanksgiving Jenna became uncharacteristically short tempered and sad. Erik couldn't identify the cause of her unhappiness, and couldn't find time to speak to her about it. She often went right to bed after coming home from the office; she was working close to 19-hour days.
Finally, the slew of clients demands quieted and Jenna was able to take a breath and sleep more than about 3-4 hours a night. On the morning of the 18th of November she came downstairs, still in her pajamas. She sat down at the table and sipped her tea in depressed silence. Erik took the opportunity to talk to her.
"Jenna, what is bothering you my dear?"
She shrugged "Nothing Erik, I've just been very busy" she answered briskly.
Erik studied her for a moment, knowing she had indeed been working hard…harder than she needed to. But she wouldn't accept anything less than perfection for Erik.
"Jenna, you've not been yourself…please? Tell me what is wrong"
"It's nothing Erik…I..I have to get ready for work"
He grabbed her hand as she walked past him; he stood up blocking her exit with his body. He tilted her chin up to look her in the eye.
"You have never lied to me before…please don't start now" he pleaded.
That broke through her air of indifference. She sighed "It's just…this weekend is Thanksgiving, and I…I miss my family" she said softly.
Erik frowned, unsure of what she was talking about. Then it hit him, he raged at himself for being so thoughtless and selfish. "Forgive me my darling, I had forgotten Americans celebrate Thanksgiving differently than we do…you may of course return home for the holidays"
"No Erik, there is still so much to do…"
He silenced her with a gentle kiss "My love, there is nothing here that Bernard and myself can't handle without you…but you most certainly should be with your family…"
Jenna looked up at him, smiling. "You're sure?"
He nodded "Of course my dear. You could most likely catch an early flight tomorrow morning…"
Jenna smiled widely, he hadn't seen her that happy since her birthday a month ago. She leaned up and kissed him "Thank you Erik…this means so much to me"
He smiled at her and released his hold on her as she took off upstairs to make arrangements.
Jenna flew into her room and called her mother who was ecstatic about her daughter returning home for Thanksgiving. Jenna booked the earliest flight she could and pulled out a suitcase and began to pack. She was so busy she didn't hear Erik walk into her room until he had put a hand on her shoulder, startling her. She spun around with a scream, relief washed over her as she saw Erik.
"Forgive me I didn't mean to scare you my dear"
"It's okay…though you need to stop sneaking up on me! You walk as quiet as a cat!"
He looked at her travel things all laid out. "I see you made arrangements"
She nodded "I did…" she looked at him. He was looking around the room sadly, watching her pack her things eagerly. She stopped and took his hand, leading him to the sofa on the other side of the room, sitting him down.
"Erik, are you sure you want me to go? I can stay and make a traditional Thanksgiving dinner here…"
Erik suddenly felt very ashamed of himself; she was so willing to sacrifice her happiness and family for him. He bent his head, not wanting to look into her eyes. He shook his head "Jenna, you have not seen your family since you came to Europe this summer…you should go home…spend this time with your loved ones"
"But I love you too Erik…I want to spend this time with you as well…you have shown me so much while I've been here. Given me so much…come with me," she said suddenly. His head shot up in surprise.
"My dear, the lack of sleep must be affecting your judgment"
"It's not, Erik please come with me. My family will love you! And I want to spend the holidays with you as well"
"Ah, but this is an American Holiday…"
She frowned "Yes, and I'm an American. I want to share some of my traditions with you…let me share my family with you"
He stood up abruptly "I can't" he managed to choke out.
"Why? Why can't you come with me?"
He whirled around, angry. He made a furious gesture to his mask "Because of this!" he took a moment to settle himself. "When I'm with you, here I can almost forget about this cursed face! I can almost forget I'm a monster, I can imagine that I am a man…you make me forget. But outside these walls I am not allowed to forget what I am!"
Jenna stood up, furious "Erik when are you going to stop thinking everyone is judging you! My family won't give a damn about the mask! I didn't!"
"It's human nature to be curious! What do you think drove me to the cellars of the Opera House! The world of humanity didn't want me! And I don't need them!" he yelled.
Jenna slammed her hand down on the desk, "God Damnit Erik! What do I have to do to convince you that I won't hurt you and neither will my family! When are you going to trust me not to hurt you! Do you honestly think I would lead you anywhere, where you could get hurt!"
Erik turned away from her, surprised at her angry outburst. He tried hard to ignore the accusations she had thrown at him about him trusting her. He clenched his fist, but remained silent. Jenna watched as he withdrew into himself, shutting her out.
"Get out!" she seethed.
He spun around, surprised. "What?"
"You heard me! Until you can trust me, you can tell me to my face that you trust me unconditionally. Until you start believing the things I've been telling you for months get out! I love you Erik…so much that it hurts. I want to be with you, you complete me. It's like you're the other half of my soul…but until you truly believe that I wouldn't hurt you and your face means nothing to me I can't be with you…it's killing me. It's killing me to love you so damn much and having you doubt me every step of the way…I've not done anything but love and support you these months. And you still doubt me, you still don't trust me…I…I can't be with you"
Tears were slipping down her cheeks; she turned around bringing her hand to her mouth to suppress a sob that tore through her body. Erik put a hand on her shoulder, she shrugged it away angrily. Erik felt his own tears well up in his eyes at her rejection. He left the room fighting tears every step of the way. It wasn't until he was safely hidden away in his own suite that he allowed himself to cry.
Unaware of when he fell asleep, he woke late the next day, his face stiff from his tears. He got up and walked downstairs, Henri was not his usual cheerful self. He handed Erik an envelope, he recognized Jenna's handwriting on the front. He opened it with shaking hands.
Erik,
I've returned home, I will send for my things at a later date. You may consider this my two weeks notice if you will. Enclosed are the keys to my car…do with it what you will, I have no need of it here. Thank you for everything that you have given me and done for me. I don't want to cause you any more pain…and I regret that I have. It tears me apart to think of what you've gone through to make you so distrusting and suspicious. I thought I could change that by loving you, but I didn't want to admit that love alone couldn't change a lifetime of hatred and pain. I love you Erik, more than you will ever know. Please take care; I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you. If you ever need anything please do not hesitate to ask me. I Love You.
Forever Yours,
Jenna
Erik felt the tears flow down his cheeks; he let the letter drop to his lap. He felt like he couldn't breath, she had left. She was really gone…he drove her away just as he had driven Christine away. Though this was worse, she had loved him unconditionally in spite of all the things he had done. She wasn't afraid of him, he had loved and he had lost…he wrenched himself away from the table, stumbling up the stairs to his room. He slammed the door, looking around the room. Everywhere were touches of her…things she had left there during her many nights spent in that room with him. He closed his eyes, clenching his fists. Every time he opened his eyes he saw her, without thinking he smashed his fist into the nearest object. The small table couldn't withstand the force and splintered. He went into a horrible rage, destroying everything in sight. When the destruction was done he slumped into a heap on the floor and began to sob.
Jenna walked out of the air terminal in the Pittsburgh airport. She was exhausted she hadn't slept since the night before the fight with Erik. She saw her mother and father waiting for her; she ran to her dad and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest. Her parents had an idea of what had occurred in France. They didn't press her; they knew when she wanted to tell them she would. Her parents led her out to their waiting car; she put her things in the trunk of the SUV and got in the back.
The ride home was unbearable; she looked around at the comforting surrounding of Pittsburgh. She hardly noticed when they got off the Parkway and made their way through Squirrel Hill to their home. They pulled into the driveway; she got out and looked up. Home! She sighed as she walked up the front walkway; it hadn't changed at all in her absence. But it wasn't as comforting as she thought it would be…she missed the marble foyer, Henri's cheerful smile and the haunting melodies that would filter down from the music room.
Thanksgiving came and went, with everyone trying to be cheerful and happy. It was a false cheerfulness and Jenna couldn't stand it. She woke up the day after Thanksgiving determined to forget about her life in France and start her life over. She called up some old school friends, had dinner, went to clubs, went shopping and laughed along with her childhood friends as if nothing had happened. She was able to fool everyone, her parents, her friends…but she still felt empty inside. Part of her was missing; she had left part of her soul in France…
Erik threw himself into his work, doing everything he could think of to erase her from his memory. He was far too stubborn to go to the United States and beg her to return to him. Instead he resigned himself to a lifetime of misery…Bernard was sad when he found out about Jenna's departure. Erik hadn't given him any details, but simply told him that she wouldn't be returning. Erik stopped sleeping in the ruins of his old rooms, instead torturing himself by sleeping in Jenna's old room. The scent of her perfume still hung in the air, she had her things sent to her home at the end of November. Erik had delegated Henri with that task. The manor was empty without Jenna's presence and laughter. Erik hated it; it was a painful reminder of everything she had been to him. But he knew she would have wanted him to remain, not run back to the tomb of the Opera House. So he stayed, in a wretched miserable existence.
