So Sad So Lonely – Draco – 501

He stumbled back away from her at her words. "No…no…" he spoke bitterly, "how could I? I mean, I'm Malfoy! How could I possibly want to change?"

Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Open you eyes, Draco! I want you to change! I want to be your 'saviour' as you put it! Don't you dare act like this is about your name to me!" She was yelling at him. "You don't want me! You don't want to open up to me! You said so yourself!" She took a step closer to him. "You're happy with me watching you from a distance, supporting you from a distance! Would you really let me close?"

She shook her head and stopped yelling. "The change I was talking about wasn't a change from cruel to kind, it was much deeper than that. You don't want to want anyone. You've been there and you aren't ready to go back. It's in your eyes, Draco. You aren't ready to take care of yourself or take responsibility for yourself, that's what needs to change and that's what you are avoiding. You don't want me, you need me, and not in a good way."

"That's right. I don't want nobody and nobody don't want me!" Draco couldn't believe what was happening. "I certainly don't want you, do I? I'm incapable of wanting you. IF I DON'T WANT YOU, WHAT THE HELL WAS I ON ABOUT A MINUTE AGO?" He lost his temper.

She stared at him. He was breathing heavily and glaring at her. She opened her mouth like she was about to say something but closed it silently. She shook her head and moved to walk pass him.

He turned and started yelling at her back. "You wouldn't be able to take me anywhere, anyway, would you? I wouldn't fit in you circus of a life!" She stopped walking and he could see her muscles tense. "You're wrong! I don't need anyone else! I certainly don't need you! I've learned to love myself!" He was lying outright now, but what else was he supposed to do?

She was clenching and unclenching her fists.

"You think I'm so sad and so lonely but I always land on my feet! You think I'll be alone without you, but you're wrong! It isn't like I can't find someone to be with me, to love me! There isn't a hole that I can't fill!" He had no idea what he was saying. He was denying a lot of things she hadn't mentioned, lying about a lot of things she had not brought up.

"Besides!" he continued, "there are plenty of blokes lined up at the school to be there for you, aren't there?" Now he was getting cruel, but he couldn't stop himself. "I'm just one in the crowd of those disappointed because you get scared and run away!" He was going too far but he was still talking. He hated himself, but he was still talking. "I hope you get what you deserve!"