Feel

Draco had been right. Things were different. They still watched each other. Their eyes still met across the halls. There was just more pain in their depths.

The more time that past the more he believed that he should have stopped her that night. He should have reassured her that things would work. He should have convinced her to stay. The more he looked into her eyes the more he was sure that she had been hoping he would. That he had failed to understand her most important need until it was too late.

He thought about going up to her and talking to her and changing things, but he never did. He didn't know why, but he never did.

He caught her eyes as he accepted his diploma at graduation. That had been the last time they had seen each other. After a year and a half of painful glances, that was it.

Well, until he saw her in the city.

It had been four years since her own graduation, five years since the war had ended.

She was struggling. He could tell.

She had a job as a waitress at some diner on Diagon Alley. She had told him that. What she hadn't told him was that she was barely meeting her rent on a bad apartment and survived off of the free food she got at work.

They had run into each other at the book store. She treated it like a library.

They had talked for a while about nothing at all. They used an awful lot of words to say nothing. He took her out to dinner. He wanted to take her out to dinner once a week, but she wouldn't agree. He figured she was afraid it was charity. He was right.

He still cared about her. It broke his heart to see her the way she was. He didn't know where her family was or if they knew where she was. He didn't know what had brought her down so low, but he didn't like to see her there.

She always kept him at a distance. She couldn't let go of what had happened while they were at school. He couldn't blame her. They never spoke of it, but a line had been crossed and they could never go back. It was too late, there was too much to forget about.

They spent more and more time together, but she never let him buy her anything. Whenever they started to get close she would pull back. He was getting tired of their game. He was getting tired of never saying anything.

They were walking in a park one day and he couldn't take anymore. He turned to look at her and she stopped, waiting for him to speak. "I'm a wreck. I'm a mess. I'm a spot on the pavement." He decided to just say what he was thinking. "I'm tired and I'm alone and I'm no better off than I was in school. I make your soul tired, I see it every time I look in your eyes. Every time we're together you're more weary when we say goodbye than you were when we said hello. I'm tired of going in circles. We get close but we don't say anything and we always end up back where we started in the book store. I'm going to go around one more time, just one. I'm not asking for marriage! Hell! I'm not even asking for a girlfriend! I just want to know that you trust me. I just want a friend."

He started walking again. She didn't follow him. She just looked at his back. He turned around again. "How does it feel? Your life now? I'm only asking because I want to know how you want to feel."

She started crying. He didn't think, he just went to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"You'll be my downfall," she whispered into his shoulder.

He smiled. "And you'll be my saviour."