Girl Like That

She had said she felt damn worthless when she was around him. She said that whenever she looked at him she felt guilty. She said just couldn't take disappointing him anymore.

His eyes stung for a week. He decided to go for a walk. He stopped in front of what had once been Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. The twins had been killed in the war. That much he knew. He also knew that Bill and Charlie both had families in countries too far away to be in much contact with. He still didn't know what had happened to everyone else in her life.

He continued his walk. He smiled ruefully as he walked. You would have thought his life would have made him bolder, but he felt like he was running away again. He felt like running away was all that he did. You would have thought that his life would have made him colder, but no. If anything, his feelings ran deeper and truer the more time passed. He had seen easier lives drive men to alcohol, but he had always abhorred the taste, so that wasn't really an option.

A week or so after she had refused to see him, he came across a rather interesting piece of information. He had been talking to a fellow student from Hogwart's about things past and he had happened to say, 'Yeah, it's a shame Weasley could never forgive his sister. When she broke up with Potter I bet she never imagined she was breaking up with all of Gryffindor tower.'

Well, that explained why she was alone. That also explained why she was so afraid of letting anyone close to her. Everyone she knew and loved had either walked away from her or been torn from her. With a girl like that, you gotta think any love at all is better than nothing. Why had he gone and pushed her? He had tried to reassure her that nothing was going on and that he didn't expect anything to go on, but that was what she had said made her feel damn worthless. Or was it that nothing was going on and she knew that he wished there was?

Why couldn't he have just been content with friends? Things might have become more over time, or they might not have, but either way, wasn't any love better than none?

He took to wandering at night. He always stayed out too late. He was never late for work, but he hardly slept anymore. He missed Ginny. She had come back into his life and he had pushed her away again. He certainly knew how to screw things up.

He kept thinking of the times that he had wrapped her in his arms as she cried. He kept thinking of all the times she had said she was scared of it all. He lost himself in his memories, hung up on everything about her. He had no idea how he was going to live without her. He had to find a way to get her back into his life.