A/N: This was an interesting chapter to write. And for the last chapter: lol, well, Dally swears a lot. I'm glad you all like this so far.:)
Disclaimer: Same.
WARNING: Maybe some swearing.
----------------------------------------
Dear Randy,
I don't know why I'm writing this. I'm probably going to take it back later; no, wait, on second thought, I don't think I will. I've been trying to hold back these feelings for too long now.
I hate you. I've tried not to, because Ponyboy's forgiven you, and I don't think Soda hates you either. But I can't help it. You tried to kill my baby brother; I can't stop hating you for that. I know you were drunk, and I know you're sorry, but what if you'd succeeded? What if you'd drowned him? Do you know what that would've done to us?
Our parents died almost a year ago. After that, I had to take care of Sodapop and Ponyboy, my younger brothers. I had to start working two jobs, and I got stressed out a lot. Sometimes I was hard on Pony, but it's only because I love him. He's my little brother, the baby of the family, and I love him to death. So does Soda. We'd already been a wreck, but what you and your friend tried to do made it even worse. If you'd have killed Ponyboy, you'd have killed us too. I bet you didn't even think about that, though. You and your friend thought that some petty argument was worth taking someone's life over.
I'm sorry that your friend died. Pony told me that ya'll were real close. But I can't say that I'm sorry that he died instead of Ponyboy. Then I'd be lying, and I want to make this as truthful as I can. What you and him tried to do was wrong, and even though I don't think he should've died, I'm glad it was him and not Pony.
I heard Ponyboy tell Soda one night that your friend was just looking for someone to say no to him. Well, Johnny did. It may have been extreme, but he did. It was something you never did for him. You were his best friend, so how come you never said no? Why didn't you ever say 'Hey buddy, let's stop this, it ain't right'? Pony said you didn't like the fighting. If that was true, than it should've been even easier to say no to him than. But you never did. If you had, then maybe he'd be alive right now. And maybe Johnny and Dally would be too.
Say, did you and your buddy ever recognize who Johnny was? It didn't seem like it, but you know, I find it hard to believe that you could forget someone you nearly killed. Remember? You and your friends beat Johnny up, and gave him that scar he had on his face. Ya'll are the reason he had a switchblade that night that you tried to drown Ponyboy. You made Johnny afraid to go around anywhere without someone with him. And because of all that, he ended up dying. He would've never been at that church in the first place if it hadn't been for you two. Losing Johnny messed us all up pretty bad, and I hate you for that too.
Another friend of mine died too. Dallas Winston. Maybe you've heard of him, considering his reputation, but he died the same night as Johnny. He committed suicide, because Johnny was dead. Maybe that was a lucky deal for you though; if he was alive, he would've killed you for what you did to Johnny before.
I'm never gonna send this. I couldn't, because I don't want to start anything. If Ponyboy's forgiven you, then there ain't any point. But if you ever see this, somehow, then I just want to let you know that I ain't gonna stop feeling this way. I may hide it, but it won't die. I don't think it ever will.
Sincerely,
Darrel Curtis
