Leave a message at the beep...ff7 style By Scitzo and Psyco
A/N: Hi I'm Back! I know I know bad me. The ACT needs to die. Thanks to all reviewers your ideas helped a lot.

A/N2: I haven't seen FFAC yet so no flames if the 3SHM are OOC ideas and helpful comments always welcome


President Shinra

Hello you reached the office of the President, if you are a businessman and have an idea for me to be able to raise Mako rates please leave a message. If this is the Midgar Enquirer I didn't inhale… (BEEP)

(2 Messages)

President Shinra this is General Sephiroth. I want you to know that I hate you. (Click)

Hello Mr. President this is Nosey Smith with the Midgar Enquirer I'd like to set up a phone interview about the rumor that your son has slept with and or solicited a third of the female population of Midgar…. (Click)


Palmer

Hey Hey! This is Palmer head of the Shinra Space Division Leave a Message at the beep… (BEEP)

(2 Messages)

Mr. Palmer this is The Midgar Tea Council… How in HELL do you get off putting lard in tea! We at the tea council have resolved to not pass judgment on the preferences of others… but you sir are a disgrace to tea drinkers everywhere! (Click)

Hello this is Midgar Weight Watchers we were just wondering if you were going to renew your membership. As one of our oldest members you should remember the number. Thank you and have a nice day! (Click)


Jenova

Hello you have reached The Crisis from the Skies. If you wish to plead in abject terror please leave a message. Or if you want to order either "Mother's Guide to World Domination" or "Jenova's Evil Speeches for Dummies" send $12.95 to North Crater… Have a Nice Day! (BEEP)

(No Messages)


Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz

Kadaj: Hello you have reached Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz we can't get to the phone right now, we are ether chasing Cloud and or looking for our mother.

Loz: Mommy we miss you!

Yazoo: For the love of mother just SHUT UP! (Slap)

Loz: Mommy Yazoo hit me!

Kadaj: (sigh) Just leave a message at the beep (BEEP)

(1 message)

Hey wait just a minute, pizza delivery boys shouldn't be looking for their mothers or chasing cloud formations. This isn't dominos is it. Aww darn dialed wrong again. (Click)


The Office of Sector General Affairs

Hello you have reached The Office of Sector General Affairs A.K.A The Turks. If you are a Shinra employee, please leave your I.D number along with your request. If not, we do take personal requests, if the price is right… Have a nice day. (BEEP)

(1 Message)

Uh…Hi this is Cloud I know you guys hate me but, I really need your help. Y'see there is this little girl in Junon who won't leave me alone. She's eight years old and she wants me to marry her! It's really creepy… so uh yeah can you do something Please! (Click)


Rude

Rude :…………………………………………..( BEEP)

(1 Message)

Hey man, it's Reno. That has got to be the lamest message ever! You could at least get one of those computer voice messages. Anyway we've got an early day tomorrow; the word is that we are going to chase down Strife's stalker. I pity the girl; she has bad taste in men. Seeya! (Click)


Scarlet

Hi you've reached Scarlet. Head of the Shinra Weapons department. If you have an idea for a new way for me to blow people up, please leave a message. Or if you are a guy and want to show me your "Weapons" leave you your name, number and pants size at the beep. (BEEP)

(No messages)