Chapter 20: Saying Goodbye to Life
Everyone in the crowd began to look around as I stood there, stunned. Mortified.
''Shae Ridley?,'' she repeated. I took a few small steps forward and people took notice of me. A path opened up as the girls stood back.
''Come forward, dear.''
I slowly walked on, the moment seeming like a dream. I caught the horrified looks of my siblings and tears came to the brink of my eyes. I was in this alone.
Two peacekeepers came up behind me and I walked a bit faster up to the stage. Anna Glimmer guided me to stand in front of the crowd after I'd come up the stairs. I could feel my skirt swish in the slight breeze above the ground and kept my sweating palms down to steady it. I felt myself stiffen and suddenly felt hot in the eyes of so many onlookers.
''Good, good,'' the Capitol lady said, and went over to the boy's table. I did not feel ''good, good''. I felt like vomiting.
From my vantage point, I saw my parents, still, and stricken. My mother covered her mouth with her hand and I could see the tear streaks down her cheeks.
''Now, for the boys,'' Anna said. When she reached down into the bowl, a voice cried out from the crowd. Everyone turned their heads to see who it was.
''Wait!,'' it shouted again, and a boy burst out from the group with his hand raised. The peacekeepers rushed him, but he shoved them away.
''I volunteer as tribute!,'' he yelled.
I sucked in a breath. It was Andrew.
The peacekeepers backed away as Andrew rushed up to the podium and stopped beside me. I looked at him in disbelief.
''What are you doing?,'' I hissed through clenched teeth. He was about to reply when Anna Glimmer put a hand on his shoulder.
''And what's your name, dear?,'' She asked.
''Uh, Andrew,'' he said.''Andrew Pines.''
''Fabulous!,'' she exclaimed, ''and is there a reason you volunteered?'' Anna's face clearly indicated that this event was totally unexpected.
Andrew looked at me and cleared his throat.
''Umm, no ma'am, I was just overcome in the moment, I guess.''
I knew that he was lying, and Anna didn't look all too convinced either.
''Well then,'' she paused and went over to the mic so that she wouldn't have to keep projecting her voice to the audience, ''shake hands.''
Andrew and I turned and faced each other. He held out his hand, but I hesitated. My mind flew back to the only time I had ever took his hand. It had been over a year ago in my family's house, and he had traveled over to stay and watch the Hunger Games with us. The bloodbath had just begun, and the tributes were in action, running and killing. I had been numbly watching it on the long, old couch with him beside me, when I felt his warm palm cover my sweating hand. The small TV buzzed with sound, and none of my family noticed the moment when I had flinched away, surprised. He'd looked at me with a ''please?'' expression and held out a hand. I had glanced at the other people filling the room, and then back at him, not knowing how to respond to this new situation that I had never encountered. I didn't expect it, and wasn't sure if it would be good to take his hand and acknowledge that maybe we were more than friends. Finally, I relented and silently accepted. It had been awkward to me, and conflicting, but now, everything was different.
I stepped forward and shook his hand. I wasn't alone in this anymore. But wait, I thought, one of us is going to die. Of course I had known this the moment Andrew had stepped forward, but somehow shaking his hand cemented the idea in my head.
''Our two District 7 tributes, Shae Ridley and Andrew Pines!,'' Anna exclaimed and clapped prettily. She looked expectantly at the crowd as she did so, but there were only a few, lone claps to accompany her, and even those died quickly. She pursed her lips before smiling again, and I didn't know if she was embarrassed, or just disappointed in District 7's lack of enthusiasm when she'd sealed the death of their kids. ''Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds, ever be in your favor,'' she said, and the reaping was over. All I could do was stare at Andrew like this wasn't happening.
Andrew and I were promptly taken away and jostled into a car with Ms. Anna. Everything was happening so fast that I hardly noticed that we were sitting in a real, moving car. Our host's chatter distracted me, even through I wasn't really listening. My brain felt dead like I was incapable of thought. All the houses passed in a blur.
We were barely in the car before we were taken out and into the Justice Building. Peacekeepers shoved us into separate rooms without explanation, and there I sat, in shock.
I wasn't in this by choice, Andrew had volunteered, and now we were going to leave everything we knew. At least could give everything I had to get back home, but Andrew didn't have anyone except for me, my family, and Kerra. Oh, why had he done this? We were both set on getting the other to victory, keeping them alive, and sacrificing ourselves to do it. Andrew hadn't said this outright, and neither had I. It was just understood. There could be only one winner. If I won, my family's life would change. Everything could change, but Andrew would die; or I would. I slumped to the floor and buried my head in my knees, combing my fingers through my hair.
I had just about had enough of my thoughts running through my head over and over, when the door opened and my family spilled in. There was crying and hugging and strangled goodbyes as I saw them for very possibly the final time.
''Shae, listen. You find an axe or spear, or both. You keep yourself alive and come back. You hear?,'' my father said in a quavering rush. I nodded mutely and embraced him fiercely with a trembling lip and tears streaming down my cheeks. All I could think was I am going to die. I am going to die, over and over again. Like my life, the reunion was short lived.
Together, Andrew and I were made to board the train and be whisked away through Panem to the Capitol, inwardly terrified for our coming future.
