Chapter 3

"You aren't shaking," Roger observed as they sat on the train again.

"Huh?" Mark looked away from the window and at Roger.

"I said you aren't shaking," he repeated.

Mark looked at his hands. "I didn't notice."

"Don't be scared."

"I'm not scared," Mark replied.

"Those glasses don't hide everything," he shot.

Mark nodded. Roger was right. "Urgent doesn't always mean …positive. It could mean something else, right?"

"Maybe you're pregnant," Roger grinned, trying to lighten the mood. "Sex can do that too."

Mark smiled a little. "I almost wish I was…"

Mark and Roger sat in the waiting room for a good hour before Dr. Steve entered. They approached him hand-in-hand when he called Mark's name.

"Just Mark," Dr. Steve smiled smugly.

"I'm coming with him," Roger stated.

"I'm sorry, but policy says-"

"I don't really give a fuck what your stupid policy says. Mark needs me and when Mark needs me, I'm there for him. I'm coming with him whether you want me there or not."

"Please?" Mark looked at the doctor with pleading eyes. "I'd need him to be with me this time."

"Fine," Dr. Steve rolled his eyes.

Roger smiled triumphantly as he followed the doctor into his small office. They sat down in the small chairs in front of the desk as Dr. Steve sat down behind the desk. The desk had pictures of his family – a wife, a little girl, and a couple of dogs.

"You're daughter looks like your wife," Roger said.

"Thank you."

Roger didn't think it was wise to say that he didn't mean it as a compliment, but he really didn't want to get kicked out when Mark needed him most.

"The results?" Mark asked nervously.

"Oh yes," Dr. Steve picked up a pile of papers. "There is no easy way to tell you this," he began, "but your results came back HIV positive."

Mark nodded and looked at his feet. He didn't want anyone to see him cry, although he knew full well he would sob to Roger when they got home. He was almost surprised. But didn't he know this was going to happen? He had that gut feeling even before he got tested. Should be angry with someone? Roger? The doctor? April, even?

He felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder. He looked over at Roger who was also trying not to cry.

"As we do for our patients, your first prescription of AZT is free, but after that you'll have to pay," Dr. Steve continued to explain. "I see you don't have any insurance, so that doesn't help."

"We've always found a way to get it," Roger said. "Even when it was just Collins, we always got it. We'll be all right."

"Of course," Dr. Steve smirked. "Determination helps."

Roger huffed and crossed his arms. He had never really liked doctors, especially not Mr. Cohen. He was always calling to make sure his poor little Marky didn't have the flu every winter. Sometimes he was worse than when Mrs. Cohen called.

Mark looked up and wiped away a few tears. "How-how long will I have to live?"

"Well, otherwise you're relatively healthy," the doctor looked over a chart, "you're not overweight and you have no family history to hold you back, so as long as you take the AZT he thinks you will so easily come into contact with, you'll be all right for a little while."

Mark nodded and looked at Roger. "Well, he's made it for a long time, so I guess I should be fine."

"Here is your prescription," the doctor handed Mark a slip of paper. "If you have any more questions or concerns, you can call and speak with someone who specializes in HIV."

Mark just nodded. "Let's go, we need to get your prescription too."

Roger stood up quickly. "Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"I recommend home schooling your daughter," he grinned, "because I don't see many boys smitten over her in the future." Mark grabbed him by the arm and yanked him out of the office before the doctor could register Roger's remark.

"Roger!"

"What? Did you see her?"

"Yes, I saw her," Mark said, shoving the paper into the pocket of his pants. "That was really mean though."

"But it was funny."

"Yeah, it was funny, but that doesn't make it right."

"Yes it does."

"You have no logic, did you know that?"

"Yes, but it was still funny."

Mark just laughed. There was just something about Roger's nonsense reasoning for things that just made him smile. "We have to stop at the drug store."

Roger nodded and entered the small store. Mark approached the counter and handed the man the slip. "I also have to pick up a prescription for Roger Davis."

The man nodded and handed him Roger's medicine before heading into the back to prepare Mark's. Mark thanked him and left the store with Roger in tow.

"How much does the AZT cost?" Roger asked. He really had no idea, never actually having to pay for it. It was always Mark doing everything for him and god knows Mark's wallet wasn't big enough for two prescriptions, half the food, and half the rent.

"It's fine, Rog, I'll take care of it," he shook it off. After all, he was the only one that made any money.

"That's not fair, Mark, I want to help for once. What is it? I'll pay for mine, yours too even."

Mark shook his head. Taking Roger's hands, he looked his lover in the eye and said, "I can take care of it, I promise. And if I can't, we can always ask Maureen and Joanne for some money."

Roger nodded. Although he really wanted to do this on his own, he knew Joanne would find out eventually and insist on helping out. Deep inside, that made him happy, having friends who cared. "Okay, but I want to help too."

"Why? You've never had any opposition to me or Collins paying for your AZT before until now. Why the change?"

Roger looked away, tears welling up in his eyes. "Because… because I don't want to take you for granted anymore. I can't anymore," he pushed Mark against the wall of the subway and kissed him, their tongues entwining, bringing a brief bliss to the tragic day. "Before today, I never realized how much I loved you."