- Did Rebecca's death affect her that much?
Sarita asked, glancing at the girl who was walking slowly behind, her eyes focused on the ground and her head down.
Clementine hadn't talked to anyone since she had that conversation with Kenny, and it was obvious she had changed, but she didn't want to answer, didn't even bother to look at the others when they asked her what was wrong.
She, at most, had raised her head just to eat.
Kenny looked at her ruefully, sighing slightly, still wondering if he had done the right thing in telling her so early.
In his mind, it might even be a good thing, since he and Lee had been going to Wellington for a long time, this would be just one more motivation for them to keep going.
The best chance they had of getting together again was for them both to get to the same place.
- No, she's... just dealing with some problems... personal problems.
Kenny answered, vaguely, but he had no right to say more than that.
And in fact, he didn't even want to, this subject was as sensitive for him as it was for Clementine.
They had been walking for some time, as soon as Luke and the others arrived, they decided to continue walking north.
With the supplies they found, they still had a day, maybe two, of food left. The real problem was AJ.
Kenny sighed again and looked around, and in the end, he looked up at the sky. It was getting dark, they needed somewhere to spend the night.
He slowly turned away from Sarita and walked towards Luke, who seemed trapped in his own thoughts. Jane was just beside him, in the same way.
- What about the surrounding buildings? Does it look like a good idea to spend the night?
he asked, snapping Luke out of his thoughts and causing him to look surprised at Kenny, probably startled by his sudden presence.
- Oh, maybe. If there aren't too many zombies around, those would be good places for the baby.
He replied, also looking up at the sky, noting the few colored rays on the horizon, indicating that the sun was beginning to set.
- Okay guys, it's getting dark, let's take a slight detour and go to one of the buildings on the map.
Kenny said loudly, drawing the attention of the other people, and focusing his eyes for a few seconds on Clementine, who was still the same way.
Quiet and with her head down, still focusing her gaze on the ground.
He took a deep breath and turned, walking down a small dirt path, now covered in snow.
- What happened to her?
Luke asked, taking a quick glance at Clementine before looking back at Kenny.
- It's just... a personal problem, you know? Something from the past.
He answered vaguely, running his eyes around the abandoned house up ahead. It was quite large, two floors high.
Some of the windows were broken, especially on the first floor, but those on the second floor seemed intact. It looked like a decent place to spend the night.
- Something from the past? Like what?
Luke asked again, picking up the machete on his back as he stared carefully at the house.
-Ask her, I can't tell you any more than that.
Kenny answered, leaning a little and looking inside the place through one of the broken windows.
There didn't seem to be any zombies in there, and even if there were, they could handle them easily.
- Well, good luck with that. She doesn't usually talk much, especially now.
Jane said, leaning against the side of the door as she checked the inside of the place.
- You don't say much either. Honestly, I don't know what to think about you. You helped us, so that puts you at an "okay" in my book, but nothing more than that. Trust is a hard thing to come by these days.
Kenny said, entering the house and knocking three times on the wall. The noise echoed through the empty room, and a few groans were heard soon after.
Some bodies began to struggle to get up, maybe it was the cold, or the lack of muscles in their bodies.
Whatever it was, it made them easy to kill.
It didn't take long before they killed all the zombies in the place. Carlos, Kenny and Mike were in charge of getting the bodies out of there, and if possible, burning them outside.
Sarita and Carley were in charge of food distribution and counting supplies.
Luke, Duck and Jane were in charge of inspecting the second floor and setting up a lookout point in a good location that could see the entire front of the house.
Later, they would block the back doors with whatever they could, leaving only the front door clear.
Clementine just sat on the small porch outside the house, still dealing with all those feelings and sensations that were fighting inside her.
She felt strange, to say the least.
How many times had she dreamed that Lee was alive?
How many times did she wish he had never left her?
How many times did she beg some being, some God, high in the sky, to return Lee to her?
How many times did she wish that Lee was on her side again?
Many times, so many that she had lost count by now. There wasn't a day when she didn't ask, or beg for that.
And now, she found out that he was alive, and she didn't know how to feel about it.
It was great to know that the man she saw as her father had not yet left her, but at the same time it was torturing to know that it was she who had left him.
Questions began to pop into her head.
Where was he?
How was he?
Was he well? Or was he starving like most people?
It was torturous not knowing the answers and being at the mercy of her imagination, as her own head seemed to want to tear her down.
She had controlled herself very tightly all day, trying to calm herself so as not to scream, cry, or do something stupid out of sheer impulses of her emotions. It was hard.
She was anxious, like she had never been before, she wanted to get out of there and run somewhere random and look for him, even though a part of her knew that it was almost impossible to find him again.
It was like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Another part of her, however, held on tightly to that small, almost zero, chance she had of finding Lee again.
Hope is the last thing that dies, and she could confirm this phrase with all her might.
But she also had faith that he was all right, he had been through horrible things, things that would drive anyone else crazy, or to death.
And he always came out victorious, always cheated death, and survived things that seemed impossible.
He was strong, one of the strongest people she had ever known, perhaps, the strongest.
And just like her, he was fine, surviving. Kenny said he was a tough son of a bitch, and she agreed with that, if they were alive, it was almost certain that Lee would be too.
But even with that in mind, it seemed that her heart simply wasn't listening to her brain, as her chest still closed in worry, anxiety.
She sighed and shook her head, placing her trembling hands on the cold wood of the porch fence and squeezing hard.
There were so many different feelings and sensations, she felt like she was going to explode, from the inside out.
There were so many good and bad feelings at the same time, that she didn't know what she should really be feeling.
- I liked Rebecca too, you know? I understand why you're like this.
Sarah's sweet voice brought her out of her thoughts, but Clementine didn't look at her, didn't turn towards the girl, she continued in the same way, quiet, motionless.
-... I'm not like this because of her.
Clementine answered, surprised at her own hoarse voice. She didn't feel obliged to answer Sarah, she just did it, perhaps in the futile hope that it would ease the conflict within her.
-Oh... then why?
The girl asked, looking curious, and a little hesitant at Clementine, who remained quiet, not answering.
Sarah sighed slightly and looked forward, watching the shy fire that began to spread over the pile of bodies ahead, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the sight.
-I don't understand how people can be so mean. They didn't have to point guns at us, they could have just asked.
The girl said again, with a sad tone as she lowered her gaze, placing her hands on the wood of the cold fence of the small balcony as she remembered the incident earlier.
-You don't have to understand, Sarah. Just accept it.
Clementine answered after some time in silence, honestly, she was losing hope that Sarah would mature, stop being childish.
No matter what she did, or what the girl saw, she was still a child.
Instead of helping the others with their chores, she decided to test her patience, standing on a porch while just watching.
-I know, the world has changed. Honestly, it's scary.
Sarah said after a while, looking again at the fire that was burning the pile of bodies, now with the flames a little higher.
- Don't you feel afraid? Of these things? Of people?
Sarah asked, looking at Clementine with a certain intensity, a certain gleam in her eyes.
-Of course I feel fear. It would be strange if I didn't, I don't think you could call me human. The difference between you and me, Sarah, is that I control my fear.
Clementine answered, in a low, but at the same time, serious voice. She stepped away from the fence and looked at Sarah, the first time she had looked at anyone after her conversation with Kenny.
- Zombies? Pff, they are easy to deal with, it's okay to be afraid of them, and you should fear them, but it's stupid, dumb to let fear take over. If you stay calm, you'll realize that they're no big deal. They're dead, it doesn't take much to outsmart the dead.
She answered, looking intensely into Sarah's eyes, that would be the last time she would say something that the girl could use to develop herself, whatever happened from then on was no longer her problem.
- People? They are more complicated, indeed, but the principle is the same. Just don't let the fear overwhelm you, while you were trembling and trying to hide like a child in Carver's camp, everyone else was calm and analyzed the situation, and as a reward, we managed to get out of there. We got YOU out.
She lowered her gaze, walking into the house again, ignoring Sarah's gaze, the girl was no longer her business.
Sarah was old enough to decide what to do, if she decided to help, great, if not, Clementine didn't care.
-Things are a little tense, huh?
Luke asked, walking slowly toward Jane, who was leaning on the wall as she watched the flames burning the bodies outside the house through the window.
The woman looked at him for a moment, then looked away from him to the fire.
- Things are always tense.
She answered simply, glancing at Clementine, who had just finished talking to Sarah and was entering the cabin.
-Look, you said you've been alone for a while... why did you decide to stay?
Luke asked, and Jane looked at him, curious.
He noticed her intense gaze and clasped one of his hands behind his head.
- Well, you said you've always been pretty much on your own, and I kind of wondered, why did you decide to stay with us, you know?
He explained, a little awkwardly.
Jane gave him a slight smile, amused at his clumsiness.
-I... initially, I just decided to join you guys to get out of that place, to be honest.
She said, looking away from Luke and crossing her arms, going back to watching the flames.
- But then, I don't know. I think I saw potential in this group of yours. People look out for each other, have some arguments, but always try to be rational, always think about the best of the group in general, always try to stay united. That's rare these days. I didn't think it would be a bad idea to stay with you, to at least try, you know? If things get out of hand, I'll sneak out.
She explained, leaning her head against the wall as she let herself be mesmerized by the flames dancing fervently ahead, but noticing Luke's gaze, understanding what was going on in his head.
- Well, I hope things don't get out of hand then. It's good to have you here.
He said, also leaning against the wall and crossing his arms, smiling slightly at Jane's suggestive look.
-It's weird. I've never seen children so grown up.
She said after a while, looking at Clementine and Duck, who exchanged a few words quickly, before each went their separate ways.
Duck went to guard first, going up the stairs to the second floor with rifle in hand and positioning himself in front of the attic window, in that weather, it would be rather difficult for someone to see him up there, and it would be relatively easy for him to spot something or someone approaching.
Clementine also climbed the stairs and went towards one of the bedrooms to put her backpack where she would sleep.
- Well, they were kind of forced to mature quickly. They wouldn't have survived if they didn't.
Luke replied, taking a quick glance at Clementine, who was coming out of one of the rooms and walking down the stairs towards Sarita and Carley.
- I know. But still, it's strange to think that children so young have already done so many things... stolen, killed. I don't know, I guess I had hoped that at least something had remained normal.
She said, moving slightly away from the window, looking strangely at Luke.
- Yeah... well, I understand you... but thinking about it, now, I realize that would be dangerous, people have to do what is necessary to survive, and that, changes anyone.
Luke said after a while, looking at Kenny who was waving in his direction.
- Well, we'll talk later.
He said with a sigh, walking to the door and toward Kenny.
Clementine looked out the second story window at the snow falling violently, letting herself be mesmerized by the movement of the small snowflakes.
It wasn't as if she was interested in snow, it was just a way to soothe the feelings in her chest.
She heard some footsteps approaching her, but just kept looking out the window, avoiding to look at the person walking towards her.
-I... hope I'm not bothering you.
Kenny's low, soft voice caught the girl's attention, and she turned to him.
He saw the conflict of emotions going on inside her golden eyes, and couldn't help but sigh at the sight.
He leaned on the wall beside her, also watching the snow falling through the window, feeling a slight nostalgia as he remembered the similar situation he had with Lee some time after he had woken up.
-... Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Clementine asked, softly, but it was remarkable how much control she had not to let her feelings show.
- I... I was trying to find the best time. And honestly, I was afraid that you would think that I had abandoned him again. I didn't want to spoil our relationship, especially when it was going so well.
He answered after a while, crossing his arms.
Clementine looked at him, strange, in a way.
- Why did you think that? You said that you took care of him as best you could until he woke up. In other words, you saved his life. In fact, I should thank you.
She said after a while, her tone soft and her expression light, despite all the conflict inside her.
Kenny looked at her, surprised and relieved, even a little happy to hear that.
- But I'm still angry with you, for not telling me sooner.
She said, looking away.
Kenny smiled slightly and put his arms behind his neck, a little awkwardly.
They were silent for a while, though staring at the snow falling through the window.
-How... how was he...? You know, before you split up?
Clementine asked, breaking the silence, a little uncertain, maybe hesitant to ask that question.
- I told you, he was one tough son of a bitch. Losing an arm and an eye didn't mean much to him, he was well enough to intimidate anyone, and leave a huge fucking scar on Carver's face.
He replied, smiling slightly at his friend's manner, remembering the time they had been traveling together, before Molly died, before they were separated.
He still thought about that girl, Molly had proven herself to be a good person, and good company, even though they always made fun of each other.
He remembers how desperate he was to see her die in his arms, the girl didn't deserve that. It was an accident that was somewhat unfair to her.
-You look like him.
Kenny said, looking at Clementine's manner.
Of course the girl had changed a lot, become colder. But the way she thought, the way she acted, and even the way she looked was the same as Lee.
And although they were different, they were the same at the same time, in essence.
- He had also changed quite a bit. Killing, for him, had become more "normal", he always said that he hated to pull the trigger, and he always tried to help others whenever he could. But he did what was necessary, and he did it with his head held high.
He said, looking at a random point through the window.
- You have changed too. And like him, you've become colder. But you both act rationally, you do what has to be done, no matter how cruel it is, or how difficult it seems. You are identical in this aspect.
He said, watching the small smile that broke out on the girl's lips, which she tried to hide by turning her head to the side.
-... Thank you.
She answered after a while, softly, but Kenny could hear her, and smiled slightly.
