Chapter 16: The Hollow
When I came to, I found myself back in our stump with moonlight shining in through the cracks. Andrew lay asleep opposite me, shivering in the cold of the night. I looked down and saw the sleeping bag from the evergreen hollow tucked around me.
I started forward to give it to Andrew, but stopped when a sharp, throbbing pain filled my head. Tenderly, I felt my head and found it to be wrapped with cloth, maybe for the dead boy's garment. Then I found the source of my pain and pulled my fingers away to find them smeared with half dried blood. Huh, I thought. I hadn't remembered being cut.
Again I pulled forward to lay the sleeping bag on Andrew, slower this time. He flinched at my touch and made a face in his sleep, then he jerked and mumbled some cluttered nonsense. I sat back and hoped he wasn't having a nightmare. however, before the thought had barely cleared my mind, Andrew began yelling out and thrashing around, knocking the sleeping bag off. In panic I leapt toward him and tried to hold his shoulders down while fighting my own faint-headedness.
''Andrew, Andrew, wake up, you gotta wake up,'' I said in a loud whisper. With a fearful glance outside, I started to shake Andrew in an effort to wake him up.
His eyes flew open and he snapped up. His heavy breathing slowed and he focused on me.
''Shae? Shae, you're alive?,'' he stuttered. I nodded.
''I think you somehow brought me back here?,'' I ventured.
Andrew slid his hand through his messy hair and seemed to calm down.
''Yeah… Are you feeling okay?''
''Well, pretty good considering everything,'' I whispered.
I leaned back against the stump and rearranged myself into a comfortable position. Andrew tried to hand back the sleeping bag, but I shook my head.
''Was your nightmare bad?,'' I asked as I pulled my coat tighter.
''Not any worse than what we're living,'' he sighed. ''I could've lost you today,'' Andrew whispered. ''All I do is keep messing things up.''
''No, no Andrew, this isn't your fault. You haven't done anything wrong. I shouldn't have split up with you; that was my fault. I keep on trying to do things myself and it doesn't work.'' I sighed defeatedly.
''So it only works when I'm around?''
''Yes. I mean, no. I mean, in this instance, I suppose,'' I said clumsily. ''I guess I'm just not used to having somebody else dependable around, that I can depend on. Besides my parents, that is. That's different. Mostly I just keep everything on myself. I can depend on you though, right?,'' I asked, suddenly wondering if I'd assumed the wrong idea.
Andrew gave me an, ''I can't believe you just asked me that,'' face.
''Sorry,'' I laughed.
''Wow, did you just laugh?,'' he asked. ''You haven't done that in a while.''
''I guess I did,'' I said with a slight smile. ''Well, promise to stick together then? For the sake of our lives?,'' I asked it in a light, joking manner while I held my pinkie up.
''Yes. Forever,'' he answered.
''What?,'' I choked.
''Hmm? What? Nothing, nothing at all.''
I gave Andrew the best reprimanding look I could muster.
''Shouldn't you say that sort of thing to your girlfriend or something? Especially since you have one?''
''Girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend, not since we left,'' Andrew said, looking about as casual as ever.
''Oh,'' I said. I had not expected that.
There was a silence before Andrew explained.
''It was in the goodbye rooms. Our relationship wasn't going to last anyway, and it was the best way to cut ties, I suppose. I've kind of been readjusting since then, otherwise I would've said something sooner,'' he shrugged.
''I see,'' I said, not really knowing what to say to that.
There was another awkward silence before I finally said,'' I apologize for being so indifferent and standoffish then. I thought you guys were still and thing and stuff. Are you… good?''
''Yeah, I'm good. As I said, it was going that way anyway. This is better.''
''What? The Hunger Games?''
''No, being here, here with you, since the Reaping. I mean, your letters and great and all, but… it's been a while since I saw you in person,'' Andrew said, looking away.
''A year,'' I said. ''Really two years though, since Reaping Day doesn't count.''
A pang of loneliness struck my heart and I shivered. Two years was too long. Way too long. I didn't know how I'd done it. Kerra was one reason, I thought. I have enough respect to let people to their own, and that was my excuse this last year. You just have to bite your lip and keep on moving, even if you get cold and lonely sometimes. I shivered from the literal cold again and pulled my limbs in close.
''Okay,'' said Andrew, ''if you won't take the blanket, can we at least share it?,'' he asked.
I weighed the implications of the request. We knew each other well enough to know that neither of us would cross an important boundary, and we held to that trust. Other people, however, didn't know that. Who cared what they thought though? The hours of my life were numbered. Plus, it was cold, and the nights would only get more so. Almost so cold that sleep was physically impossible.
''Sure,'' I finally said.
Andrew crawled next to me and pulled the sleeping bag over to us. Then he unzipped it and spread it over our bodies. We sat shoulder to shoulder, so close that I could feel his quiet breaths as they came. My shivering slowed and finally stopped. I began to feel warm again, and I even forgot the sting of my wounds. I relaxed and was surprised to realize how tense I'd been, how stiff I'd been holding myself. Then I felt a brush against my hand. My heart quickened and I stared straight ahead to outside the hollow. I accepted the smooth, warm grasp of my best friend.
''Are we doing this?,'' I whispered, looking at Andrew now.
''Only if you want to,'' he answered quietly.
''It seems right,'' I replied. ''There's not a lot of time though. There's never enough time.''
''Maybe that's a good thing though. How would we change if we were always together? And anyways, we're from the same district. Did it ever occur to you that we could do this together? Onyx and Amber gave it a shot, maybe we could actually do it. I was thinking of this all ending for everyone but one, but if we're least, what would happen? We've got nothing to lose.''
''Nothing except each other,'' I whispered. ''That's not nothing.''
We had finally come to this point. Waited for so long, keeping our relationship in repair, and then we had moved forward. It could end here though. Or maybe not, I thought as I closed my eyes and readjusted my grip. Andrew leaned his head on my shoulder and we fell asleep.
