DISCLAIMER!

I do not own Lemony Snicket or any of his characters. If I did, all of them would be dead by now.


It is a dark and stormy night. (Pardon the cliché.) Count Olaf has just kidnapped the children, put them in his giant SUV, and is accompanied by all of his assistants. He is driving on a mountainside road when an unnamed wild animal jumps into the road. He swerves and the SUV goes through the guardrail into the dark abyss, where he and the passengers of the car die a bloody death and are never heard from again.

THE END! (Thank God)

Note: All death threats or other reviews of that nature will be forwarded to my Complaints Department, where they will inevitably gather dust and rot. I would apologize to all of the poor souls who are devoted to Lemony Snicket and his depressed fairytales, but I just don't feel like it.