Disclaimer: See first chapter.

All right, so Karen and Alana had just shown up, much to the surprise of the SVU squad. Things only took a turn for the worse when Elliot discovered their true identities as fangirls. And here we are now.

The girls grinned maniacally.

"That's right!" They chimed, sounding eerily like Oopah Loompahs on crack. (A/N: Can you believe my spell checker didn't have Oopah OR Loompah in it? The nerve!) The SVU squad backed away slowly. Well, it was more like they tried to, but ended up running into a desk, the wall, etc. And there they stood, looking much like rats trapped in a cage. Well, everyone except Cragen.

"What is going on here? What are fangirls?" he asked, obviously confused.

Elliot shook his head at his Captain's naivety.

"Fangirls are the worst thing that can happen. They're thoroughly obsessed, and will stop at nothing to get their way. And, worst of all, they know everything. And I mean everything. Including what you did last night."

Munch look a bit startled at this proposition. On cue, Karen and Alana turned to him and gave him a knowing smile. Munch's eyes went wide as he backed up into his desk even further.

Elliot continued speaking as if nothing had happened.

"The only thing that's worse than fangirls is..." he paused, as if it was too horrible to say, as if they would appear if he said the word, before whispering "Fanwriters."

Again, Cragen looked confused.

"What are fanwriters?" he asked, level of confusion rising higher and higher with each passing word.

Olivia responded for her partner.

"Fanwriters are the worst kind of evil. They take everything about our lives and... and..." she trailed off, much as Elliot had moments before, "They change it."

"What?" The look of horror on Cragen's face would have been comical if the situation had been less serious.

Olivia nodded solemnly.

"They don't know when to stop. They put us together in... pairings, I think they're called. And not logical ones, either. No, they put us with the people who would never in a million years hook up."

"Such as...?"

"Well," Fin made his presence known, "They're partial to Olivia and Elliot, among others."

"Don't forget all those ones where we're gay." Munch chimed. "They like putting Fin and myself together. Not that I can see a reason for it."

"At least they don't put you with someone you had a one night stand with and really don't like all that much." Olivia said, in a slightly annoyed tone. Alana looked at the floor, whistling nervously. "I mean Elliot is one thing - at least he's handsome - but-"

She was cut off by the sound of a girl shrieking the name "Cassidy!" As one, the entire room turned to look at the newcomers, who had just skipped jauntily in. Obviously, they had had their coffee beforehand.

As Munch surveyed the new kids, to his surprise, he found that they looked oddly like Alana and Karen. They introduced themselves as Ashley and Kerri, respectively. Of course, this only served to confuse everybody more.

All four teens stood in a clump, smiling maniac grins.

"Hold on a minute," Cragen said, trying to get a grip on the situation, "Can somebody please tell me what is going on around here?"

"Certainly!" Ashley said perkily. "Kerri?"

"I'd be glad to!" Kerri responded just as perkily. "Karen and Alana are psycho-obsessed fangirls. Ashley and I are psycho-obsessed fanwriters. Comprende?"

"Comprendas." Ashley stated. "It's comprendas, not comprende, since you're speaking directly to the person, not talking about them."

"Whatever." Kerri shrugged. "As long as I know how to say el zapatos de Munchie, I'm good."

While this exchange was going on, certain people were becoming consistently more confused.

"Let me see if I have this straight," said Cragen, "You two" - he pointed at Alana and Karen - "Are just fangirls, right? And you two" - he gesticulated toward Kerri and Ashley - "Are fanwriters, right? You write fanfiction and tamper with our lives?"

"And put your emotions on display for all to see." Ashley added cheerily. Cragen looked even more disconcerted at the sound of this.

"But don't worry," Kerri added, "Neither of us have written anything for you. Not yet, anyway."

"So there are more out there like you?" the words exited Cragen's throat in a rather strangled manner.

"More?" Alana said, still sounding put off that she was "just a fangirl", "Try millions, all over the world. Ever heard of a little site called Central headquarters for fanwriters everywhere."

Cragen had to sit down in order to not pass out from shock.

"And you" - he looked toward his squad - "knew about all this?"

Elliot, Olivia, Munch, and Fin all nodded slowly.

"And you didn't think that this would be information that I would do well knowing?"

Elliot, Olivia, Munch, and Fin all shook their heads slowly.

"Oy vey..." Cragen put his head in his hands and went to his happy place to try to absorb all the information being thrown at him. In the meantime, Ashley had turned to Kerri.

"Hey, it's kinda dull around here. I think we need to liven things up a bit."

Kerri smiled viciously in return.

"What do you want to do?"

"I dunno..." Ashley thought hard for all of two and a half seconds. "Bring back Cassidy. Cuz somebody - she glared at Cragen - decided it would be best if he went to Narcotics, thereby taking him away from the people who need him."

Cragen looked taken aback. Kerri groaned.

"You always want to bring back Cassidy!"

"Yeah, so? At least I let Huang and Casey live."

Kerri grumbled something unintelligible under her breath.

"What was that?" Ashley asked.

"Nothing." came the response rather quickly.

"That's what I thought. So, can we bring Cassidy back?"

Kerri shrugged.

"I guess. But only because it'll piss Elliot off."

While Elliot was pondering the meaning of that statement, the two girls had pulled out a notebook and pen and opened it to a blank page. Within a matter of seconds, there stood Brian Cassidy, in all his Cassidy-ish wonder.

"Cassidy!" Alana yelped, looking a bit more than happy at the man's arrival. She glomped him. He didn't seem to mind all that much.

"Fanwriters again?" he asked nonchalantly. "Well, it was bound to happen again sometime."

Olivia looked like she was about to kill something. Preferably the people who had brought back her fling. Kerri and Ashley noticed this and quickly scribbled something on the paper. Suddenly, Olivia began thinking that Elliot wouldn't be all that bad a person to be paired with...

Meanwhile, Alana was still attached to Cassidy. He looked down at the top of her head and said,

"Alana, right?"

Alana squealed.

"You remembered!" she then proceeded to hug him even tighter. Again, Cassidy didn't seem to mind.

In the meantime, Kerri and Ashley had apparently written Monique back in, since she was now also in the room, talking to Munch, who looked rather pleased.

Cragen took one look around the room and fainted.

Uh oh! Not really, he'll be fine. It's not like I can kill him off or anything. Well, really, I could, but I won't. Next up, the introduction of the ignorant noob!