Over the course of the next few weeks, Mark underwent a long, difficult healing process. Roger checked on his progress many times a day, sometimes even forgetting to eat or sleep because of his intense worry for Mark. The bleeding had ceased, and Mark stopped screaming in pain during the night. He was still bruised and his wrists were still red, as were his ankles; however, during all of this, Roger always seemed to be there for Mark. When Mark would cry or wail during the night, after say, having a bad dream, Roger would come to his room and brush his hair away from his forehead, which would be wet with sweat. He would stay there all night with him, making sure that he was okay.

During those two long weeks, Roger seemed to grow more fond of Mark. He felt the need to care for him. Even when Mark had healed and was able to care for himself, Roger was still protective. After that night, Mark was never alone on the streets at night-Roger was there with him, protecting him from any danger that might come his way.


Four weeks had passed since the incident-if you could even call it that-and Mark was stronger than ever. Perhaps, he was a bit too hardened and closed-mouthed for his own good. Roger began to worry that the ordeal had changed him, or made Mark close his heart to him. Before this had happened-that very night-he had planned on telling Mark something that he had kept in for far too long. Now, however, Roger felt a bit uncomfortable trying to say something so sentimental to someone so closed-hearted.


A short while after the rape, Mark had taken a number of tests to see if he was physically well. The time came to view the results of all the tests, and Roger accompanied Mark to the hospital. Upon arrival, Mark was given a folder full of papers. He flipped through them, trying to find the one test he knew truly mattered-the HIV test. He finally found the results, slowly moving his eyes along the paper, afraid to see the word positive. He finally reached the fateful line, and it read as follows:

HIV:
POSITIVE

Mark slumped to the floor. He wasn't crying, nor showing any other emotion. Roger, though, sobbing heavily, trying to catch his breath, and feeling as if he was in a bad dream.


It was two weeks later, and Mark was still showing no sign of emotion. Roger was worried about him. He had so many unanswered questions, like: Would he be okay? Would he die before Roger? Would he live? Would he ever open up? All of these remained in his mind. Day after day, he would ponder these things, knowing that the answers would come with time.


Mark didn't film much of anything anymore. He never answered the phone, nor did he feel the need to eat. Roger had to bug him every day to eat something, and he would end up eating something like a granola bar, and taking a swig of water-barely enough to stay alive. Roger could understand how he was feeling, but Roger had recovered by this long after he found out. He always new it was coming, though. He had so much unprotected sex-it was inevitable. He carelessly forgot his protection, and had sex anyway. But Mark's situation was different. He was raped.


Roger still couldn't get to Mark after 7 weeks of trying. Mark was skinnier than ever, and looked like he was starving himself. Maybe he was, or maybe he just didn't care anymore. Maybe he didn't have an appetite? Whatever it was, it wasn't helping the situation. Mark had gone for a mandatory check-up a week ago, and the doctor had told Roger that Mark's weight was around 90 pounds. That was rediculously low for a grown man. Mark was 23. His weight should be around 140. Roger had to talk to him.

On one cold morning, Roger decided it was time to have that talk he had thought about. He had to get Mark to open himself up to him. He wanted Mark to know that he was always there for him. He also needed to tell Mark what he so longed to say 8 weeks ago. He wanted to tell Mark that he loved him. He wanted Mark to know that he thought of him as more than just a good friend. He loved Mark. He wanted to be with him, but he didn't know if Mark felt the same way. Regardless of his doubts, Roger walked to Mark's room and knocked on the door. Mark opened the door, and Roger walked in.