Wow, I don't think I've ever gotten this many reviews in such a short period of time. So I say, why not give the people what they want? Onwards!

Cragen awoke minutes later to find himself lying on a couch, his squad all peering down at him. He jumped back, a bit unnerved to find their faces so very close to his.

"Hey Cap," Fin said concernedly, "You okay?"

Cragen seemed a bit out of it, so Ashley jumped in for him.

"Course he is! Isn't that right, Donnie?"

The entire crew turned to stare at her.

"I mean, come on people, we wrote it. I think I would know if he's gonna be okay or not."

Kerri, Alana, and Karen all nodded in agreement. The others still didn't look convinced.

"Oh come on!" Ashley continued, sensing their skepticism. "I could make him get drunk without alcohol right now if I wanted. Which I don't." The second part was added quickly after seeing the glares she was receiving from just about everybody in the room, including her friends.

"Ashley," Kerri started, "You know perfectly well that Cragen's in AA. We can't let him fall off the wagon!"

"I know," Ashley contradicted with a smug smile. "That's why he wouldn't have actually drank. He would just be drunk. There's a difference. And still with the strange looks."

"Yeah, well, I think it would be better for all of us if you just put that thing away." Elliot said, gesturing to the notebook Kerri was currently grasping. The girls nodded and banished the book to who-knows-where.

They all stood around in silence for a while, since nobody seemed to have anything to say. The girls, of course, grew bored with this very quickly and started plotting something.

"Uh oh, what are you guys doing?" Cassidy asked. For the record, he was still being hung onto by Alana. And also for the record, he still didn't seem to mind.

The four girls looked up at him, identical maniac sparks in their eyes.

"Never mind, I don't wanna know." He quickly recanted.

"That's what I though." Karen commented, before turning back to the newly formed huddle. "So, you wanna do it?"

"Of course!" Alana countered. "I wasn't aware that there was any debate about the matter."

"There wasn't," Kerri stuck in. "She was just clarifying."

"Of course she was," Ashley added dryly.

Suddenly and simultaneously, the girls turned to the SVU crew.

"Hey, can we borrow someone's phone?"

Olivia, Elliot, Cassidy, Cragen, Monique, Munch, and Fin all exchanged looks.

"No." They all said bluntly.

"Ah, come on," the girls pleaded, "It'll just be for a second!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Elliot?" Ashley gave the shrink-hating detective puppy dog eyes. We can beat stupid-ass psychiatrist guy if you say yes."

"But Huang's not here." Munch stupidly pointed out.

The fanwriters grinned crazily.

"That's what you think." Within seconds, George Huang stood in all his stupid-ass psychiatristy glory in front of him.

"Georgie!" Karen squealed.

"Ass wipe!" Alana shouted.

Both girls lunged at the newcomer, but for two very different reasons. Cassidy, who was rather depressed that he had been abandoned, just stood by and watched at Karen latched onto Huang and Alana was forcibly restrained by Elliot.

"Come on Elliot, let me go! I'll let you beat him too if ya do!"

"As very tempting as that though is, I'm gonna have to decline."

"Ah, man! You suck, Elliot, ya know that?"

"And would you know that from personal experience, hmm, Alana?" Kerri asked with a devious smirk. Alana glared at her, but thanks to Elliot's smashing restraining job, was unable to do anything more about it.

"Ashley, smack her for me!"

Ashley did as she was told and smacked Kerri hard on the arm.

"Ow! That hurt, you bitch! Fin, get her!" Kerri cowered behind Fin, who looked at her like she was clinically insane. Which, by the way, I'm in no way contradicting.

While all this was going on, Alana had come to the realization that she was still being restrained by Elliot.

"Hey!" she cried happily, "I'm being restrained by Elliot!"

The others gave her looks that very plainly said "Duh!" Well, Cassidy didn't, since he was still off being annoyed that he had been abandoned. Ashley noticed this and whipped out the notebook and pen, presumably to write in some kind of kick-ass threesome, when Olivia noticed.

"Oh no you don't!" She said, yanking the items from the girl's grasp. "If anyone gets to be with Elliot, it's me, you hear?"

Ashley gasped in mock shock.

"I knew it! I knew it! I always knew you wanted Elliot all for yourself! Wait till I write about this in my blog..."

While Olivia tried to cover up what she had just said, Ashley looked on amusedly, Munch and Monique were still talking, Fin was still giving Kerri strange looks, Cragen was still looking a bit faint, Cassidy still looked a bit put out, Alana was still being restrained by Elliot, and Karen was still glomping Huang. (A/N: Geese, my spell checker sucks! It doesn't know glomping, psychiatristy, OR blog! What do they teach these things these days? I mean REALLY.) In fact, everybody was so preoccupied that they didn't notice when yet someone else walked into the room.

The newcomer looked around, a slightly confused expression on her face. Then she spotted Karen, Alana, Kerri, and Ashley and perked up right away.

"Karen! Alana! Kerri! Ashley!" She called. It took a moment for the other four to notice that they were being called, them being so caught up in other things and all. When they finally did, their eyes lit up.

"Cynthia!" They called simultaneously. "Long time no see!"

They quickly abandoned what they were doing (well, Elliot still refused to let go of Alana, since he still thought there was a very real danger of her attacking Huang - which there was - and had to be dragged over to where Cynthia was standing. Not that Alana was complaining, of course.) and dashed over to the new girl.

"Wormtail old comrade!" Ashley greeted her.

"Padfoot old chap!" came the response. The others, as usual, looked on in confusion, then decided to just ignore it for the sake of their mental well-being.

"We were just about to call you," Alana stated cheerily.

"But we got a bit distracted." Kerri added.

"I can see." Cynthia commented, surveying the room. "Hey, aren't those the people from that show?"

"Wow, the specifics of that statement are killing me." Ashley muttered dryly.

"Shut up. Um, the one you guys are obsessed with. Law and Order, or whatever."

Before the other girls had the chance to kill Cynthia, Cragen finally spoke for the first time since his little fainting session.

"Let me guess," he said dryly, "More crazies."

"Hey!" the girls protested simultaneously. "We're not crazy!"

"Suuuure you're not." Munch muttered, followed by some unintelligible murmuring about government conspiracies.

"Shut up, Munch!"

Munch then went back to chatting with Monique, the way he had been for the last chapter and a half.

"Anyways," Ashley continued, "This is Cynthia Alvero. She's the ignorant one."

"Hey!" Cynthia protested. Well, she started to protest, then realized that Ashley had a point. "Never mind."

"That's what I thought you said."

Cynthia's highly mature response was to stick her tongue out.

"Really, I mean, she knows nothing. Seriously, I could point to Fin, say 'who's that?' and she would probably say Snape."

"Snape? Where?" Cynthia looked around frantically. The others groaned.

"Baaaaaad choice of words." Karen muttered, "Very, very baaaaad choice of words."

"Mmm." Alana responded. "That was definitely not a smart idea, that one."

"Shut up," Ashley protested weakly, knowing they had a point. "That was definitely not one of my better moments."

"You can say that again..." Cassidy muttered, still feeling ignored and abandoned.

"Shut up, Brian!" Ashley snapped. Cassidy and everyone else backed away slowly. Everyone knew that when Ashley referred to Munch and Cassidy by their first names, there was trouble to be had.

"Hey!" Alana shrieked. "Don't bitch at Cassidy! He didn't do anything to you!"

"Yeah, except exist." Ashley muttered, highly annoyed. Cassidy looked hurt. Alana wormed her way out of Elliot's grasp and glomped Cassidy, who suddenly looked considerably happier. Everyone else, of course, looked more confused than ever.

"Could someone please explain to me what is going on here?" Olivia asked, cheeks tinged slightly red from her previous comment. Everyone turned to look at her. "What? I want to know."

"Nothing wrong with that." Kerri commented. "This is Cynthia. She's ignorant."

"Yes, we already know that." Olivia said. "I was wondering more about her comment earlier."

"Which one would that be?" Karen asked, thinking hard.

"The one with... you know who." Alana whispered.

"Voldemort? Where?" Cynthia looked up frantically.

"Up your ass." Ashley commented snidely. The comment received her strange looks. "What?"

"A bit testy today, are we?" Munch commented.

"Piss the hell off!"

"I think you and I should go outside to cool down before you kill something." Elliot said, leading a very pissed off looking Ashley out the door.

"Yeah, like Huang." Alana muttered, looking rather pleased with herself.

"Excuse me!" Olivia called, obviously not happy with the prospect of being ignored.

"Whaaaaaaat?" The remaining girls turned to the detective in exasperation.

"You still haven't answered my question."

"Which was what, again?"

"What she said before."

"What who said before?"

"Her." Olivia pointed at Cynthia, who was still looking around frantically.

"Oooh, right. When?"

"Before."

"Before when?"

"Before this entire conversation started!" Olivia yelled in frustration.

"Oooh, then! Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"I did!" Olivia shut her mouth, deciding that saying anything else would just postpone the answer she wanted even further.

"Um... what were we talking about?" Alana asked, looking confused.

"The thing with Snape, love." Cassidy pointed out helpfully. Alana smiled up at him gratefully.

"Finally, someone who knows what's going on around here!" Olivia burst out. The girls turned to look at her.

"Well, there's no need to get testy." Karen stated with a small smirk. Olivia looked ready to strangle them all.

"So," Kerri started, for once being the one who was on top of things, "Snape is Cynthia's favorite character from Harry Potter."

"James St. Prongs? Where?" Alana took her turn to look around frantically.

"Nowhere, hun. Now relax." Karen said, patting Alana's arm.

"And just for the record, he's not just my favorite Harry Potter character, he's my favorite person ever." Cynthia added happily, daydreaming about her love interest.

"And husband." Alana added. "Which is really, really gross."

"Hey!" Cynthia protested. She was saved from saying anything else, thankfully, as thoughts of her greasy, nasty, gross lover crossed her mind.

"Uh oh," Kerri noted, "Looks like Cynthia's thinking about some explicit fanfiction material."

Kerri, Karen, and Alana all looked disgusted. Cynthia strolled out of the precinct looking happy.

"Anyone care to explain that one?" Cragen asked.

The girls exchanged looks.

"No, not really."

Wow, I think this chapter easily wins for the longest I've ever written. Not kidding. And it took FOREVER to write. Seriously, multiple hours out of my life for this one, so I expect some good reviews!

Next time... um... what is coming next time? Oh, right, the dumb blonde (redundant, I know) fangirl!