When Kurt arrived at home no one was there. His dad and Sam must've still been at Dalton for some reason, he had no idea where Carol was and Finn was at college with Puck which partially explained their absences. It was still weird though, why had his dad attended the ceremony but his mom and brother hadn't. He knew that Finn could easily have taken the day off to attend and would never miss the opportunity to see him be proposed to even though he wasn't too fond of Blaine after he learned that he had cheated on him. And same thing with Carol so the only explanation could be that they weren't invited. Because Blaine knew that if he proposed in front of them that they would protest and ruin his plan. Just something else that just went to show how sneaky and clever Blaine was.

And Blaine knew that Burt would be on his side and support the engagement so that's why he was invited. So if only his mom and brother had been there with him then maybe he wouldn't feel so stuck and hopeless or be in the mess in the first place. He should call them to tell them what happened.

He went inside his dad's house and up to his room. His dad and Carol had left all three rooms that belonged to Finn, Sam and him the same even though Sam was the only one that still lived there so whenever one of them came back to Lima to visit they still had a room. It was sort of nice in a way to have something in his life stay the same, to have something he could always come back to that would never change. His room held so many memories for him, both good and bad and it was a nice place for him to think. New York was fast paced and classy which he liked but Lima would always be his home (no matter how much of a cowtown it was) and he also liked the peacefulness and comfort of it.

He opened his door and placed his stuff down by it before going over to his bed and laying down on it. After spending the hour it took for his Uber to come, crying all he felt was numb and exhausted. The same question of "What am I going to do?" kept repeating in his head but he just couldn't find an answer. He had two options, he could go through with the engagement, get married to Blaine and never amount to anything or reach his dreams OR he could break off the engagement and become hated by pretty much everyone he knew, he could run back to New York and get on with NYADA and Vogue without any friends and he could be lonely but successful. But are you really successful if you're lonely, hadn't one of his goals been to have friends and family? And you could also say that he could make new friends, start a new family but it just wasn't that simple for him. Kurt liked familiarity, he didn't like change unless it was absolutely necessary. Transferring to Dalton was necessary or else he probably would've died, moving to New York was necessary if he wanted to chase his dreams, breaking up with Blaine was necessary because he deserved better than a lying, cheating, backstabber of a boyfriend. Losing all of his friends wasn't necessary and would only break him. But being engaged when he just got out of high school wasn't necessary either.

And another funny, well not really funny but another good point to bring up was that Blaine knew he wasn't looking to get married soon. He had told Blaine that he wanted to wait until he graduated college or started his own clothing line, he wanted to wait until he had accomplished something before getting tied down. But did Blaine listen? Obviously not because it was either that he didn't listen or he just didn't care about what Kurt wanted, he only cared about what he wanted.

That didn't make much sense either though because why did Blaine choose him? Yes they were high school sweethearts, each other's first love but all of that was so unrealistic, rarely did anyone ever marry their first true love. Plus he had heard from Brittney who had heard from Tina say that just a few weeks before he came to town for his dad's tests results that Blaine had been crushing on Sam (been there done that) and then before that he had cheated on him with a guy off of FaceBook. All of that reminded him of his junior year when he had obviously been crushing on Blaine (how naive and stupid he was back then) but Blaine had had a crush on the guy from the GAP (that was way too old for him) and then when that didn't work out there was his bisexual phase where he went out with Rachel (which wouldn't have bothered him so much except for the fact that Blaine was drunk and that he had been RIGHT THERE). The point he was trying to make was that Blaine wasn't committed enough. He went from person to person seeking their love and when things didn't work out with said person then he would go and find another one. He didn't wait to make things work, he didn't commit enough or try. He had a crush on the GAP guy, he went to Rachel, he went to him, he felt like Kurt wasn't giving him enough attention (a sign of an unhealthy relationship on its own) so he went on to the FaceBook guy and then to Sam and now back to him. That made Kurt question 1) who was Blaine really in love with?, 2) was he really in love with anyone?, and 3) was Kurt a rebound, why had Blaine chosen him out of everyone? Sure Sam was straight and he was gay, he was in high school but there were plenty of people out there that wanted him and who would be willing to give him that attention. The FaceBook guy for one and then there was the sneaky little meerkat Sebastian and guys hit on Blaine wherever he went so why not get together with one of those guys and leave him alone.

It was probably because Blaine knew how much of a push over Kurt was and took advantage of that. Kurt was strong and quick witted and he didn't have a problem with saying no… except for when it came to his friends and family. When it came to them he would always do what they wanted him to do. They wanted him to go away, fine he would go. They wanted his help with an assignment for school, he would drop everything he was doing and spend the next three hours helping said person. Of course there were the few occasions when he did say no and stood up for himself like in the car when he went to Scandals with Blaine and almost got raped or when he would tell Blaine that he was busy with work and couldn't talk at the moment but for the most apart he gave in to whatever someone wanted from him.

And of course Blaine knew that. He knew that Kurt would almost give him anything he wanted and that if Kurt didn't give him what he wanted at first then he would eventually give in when he made him feel bad so in the end Blaine got what he wanted, Blaine probably wasn't looking for a relationship where both partners were equal, he was looking for a relationship where his partner would give him what he wanted. He was looking for someone that was sweet and willing and naive and easily manipulated so all he had to do was smile an evil smile or flirt with someone to do his bidding. And that person was Kurt.

Well he guessed that that was no more. No more easily manipulated, sweet, naive, willing Kurt. He needed to be ruthless and mean and smart and witty. He had to learn how to say no and how to grow a backbone. He was a man for god's sake, he was smart and witty, he just had to remember that. He needed to go out and get what he wanted and he couldn't let people stand in his way. He couldn't back down from his dreams just because someone made him feel bad about what he wanted, he needed to be carefree, he needed to learn not to give a fuck.

It couldn't be that hard, if he could do it to people he didn't know or care for then he could certainly do it to Blaine. He just couldn't stand around, counting down the days until he married someone who had countlessly tricked him into doing what he wanted him to do. How was that fair to him, how was any of this fair to him? How was it fair that he had to worry about upsetting people when they had upset him? How was it fair that he had to go through with something so huge when he was still learning how to be on his own? How was it fair that his own father was on his asshole of a boyfriend's side and not his? The answer was it wasn't and he wasn't going to put up with it anymore. It was his turn now, he was getting what he wanted.

He quickly sat up and got an idea. He looked around his room and spotted what he was looking for, his piano. It was technically his mother's, everyone else said that it was his but it was his mom's. She would always play the piano for him if he had a particularly bad day at school with bullies and the tradition continued even after she died, when Kurt taught himself how to play so whenever he needed to think or needed time to himself that he could play and could feel connected to her. Now more than ever did he need to feel connected, he needed some guidance from her.

He pushed himself off his bed and went over to sit down on the piano bench. It had been a while since he had sat down on the bench and let his frustrations out through song. He was pretty sure that the last time he had one it was when he didn't get into NYADA but that was in the past and this was his new problem now. He lifted up the cover that covered the piano keys and tapped one of them, checking to see how in tune it was. It seemed perfect to him and he liked how the note filled the otherwise empty feeling room. He was glad that no one else was home now so he could just let it all out without any questions.

So when the perfect song finally popped into his head he placed his fingers on the keys and started playing.

I know I can't take one more step towards you

'Cause all that's waiting is regret

Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore

You lost the love I loved the most

He couldn't marry Blaine, that was going backwards in life. That was him going back to the naive, small, love sick boy that he was in high school. But now… now he knew better than that, he was better than that and he couldn't go back. He was strong and he needed to stay strong. He had no future with Blaine, he wouldn't be able to incorporate his dreams into a life with him. It was either one or the other and he certainly didn't choose Blaine. He wasn't Blaine's property, he wasn't his prize, he was his own person and he had to make sure that he stayed that way.

I learned to live half alive

And now you want me one more time

It hurt at first, when Blaine said he didn't love him back in his junior year and then when Blaine cheated on him the year earlier but he learned how to live without his love. He had depended on it for so long, it was something that became constant in his life and the first few months without it were hard and it broke him but he could say that he didn't need love to survive anymore. And of course the moment he realized that Blaine decides that he wants him back. Typical.

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

Blaine was no longer anyone he wanted in his life anymore. He didn't need him and he didn't want him. All he ever did was hurt him and he hoped that when he called the engagement off that Blaine finally felt the way he did.

I hear you're asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found

But I have grown too strong

To ever fall back in your arms

Not only would he lose Blaine but he would probably lose everyone else. He didn't know how big of a deal that was to him yet but it didn't matter much to him at the moment. He needed out and he was willing to lose a lot to break free. But he was too good for Blaine, he was too strong and too independent to go running back to him after all he had done and he was through.

And I've learned to live half alive

And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

Everyone thought Blaine was amazing, he could sing, he could dance, he was dreamy and popular and maybe he was everything that he wasn't but he was a lot of things that Blaine wasn't either, Kurt was determined, he worked hard for things while Blaine usually had them handed to him. Kurt was head-strong in a good way, he wasn't afraid to stand up for himself to get what he wanted and while Blaine was head-strong as well, he was rh bad kind, the kind that was ruthless and would do anything it took to succeed even if it meant hurting someone he cared about (this is demonstrated through the West Side Story "Tony" role debacle). Everyone thought that Blaine was hot stuff but they had no idea what they were missing out on.

And it took so long just to feel alright

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed

'Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back

You don't get to get me back

He wondered what junior and senior year Kurt would think about all of this. Just one year ago he had been dreaming of he day he would become Mr. Kurt Anderson Hummel or vice versa, doodling "Klaine hearts" in his notebook and making heart eyes whenever he saw Blaine. Thinking back to those times made him sick, how could he have been so blind? Before he met Blaine, yes he was struggling but he was still confident and strong and witty and independent. Then he met Blaine at Dalton and he became some wimp, someone that only depended on someone's love and affection. He had spent half of his junior year chasing after the boy and all Blaine had to do was come in and kiss him, literally sweep him off his feet while he had just made Kurt beg for his attention for five months. Now it was Blaine's turn to beg but the only difference was that he wouldn't be getting what he wanted in the end.

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

He had to have some people on his side. Finn didn't like Blaine, Carol didn't either, Sam seemed to have noticed how uncomfortable he was at Dalton because he made up a distraction to allow him to leave. But then again Sam was Blaine's best friend, maybe he was just nice like that. Like he had said, he didn't have any friends in New York, there was his boss Isabelle and his co-workers but would he consider them friends, would he consider them a support system for him… no. But maybe he could manage with only two people, maybe that's all he needed,

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

Don't come back for me

Don't come back at all

There had to be someone else out there for him. Maybe it wasn't Adam but there were plenty of fish in the sea. Maybe there was someone out there in a similar situation to his. Maybe they could bond over how they dealt with it and maybe, hopefully they could end up being something. Or maybe there wasn't a place for love in his life, maybe he was destined to be lonely but he certainly wasn't destined to end up with Blaine, that one thing was for sure.

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

He finished singing and wiped the tears that had fallen down his face. He was going to do it, he was getting out of the mess.


Do you guys even read the note sections lol? I mean whatever if you don't I'll ramble anyway but I hope you do and then give your opinions because I want to know what you guys think and I'm here to talk. I write to see what people think so if you want to tell me what you think tell me please

So I know that in canon Burt didn't give his permission to Blaine for him to propose to Kurt and Blaine did it anyway the sneaky bastard but it just doesn't make much sense to me because then Burt drove Kurt to his proposal and encouraged him to say yes so like is he pro Klaine or anti Klaine? But anyway let's just pretend that he was all for the engagement all along because that's how I have it planned.

Also I'm pretty sure that Chris Colfer doesn't play the piano, he said in an interview that he couldn't play any musical instruments but let's just pretend that he can play because that's one of my headcanons for him. And let's also pretend that Kurt's so amazing that he already has the sheet music memorized for "Jar Of Hearts" because why not, he is amazing

Anything else? Umm well I guess I can say that the next chapter will be when Kurt breaks up with Blaine so… yay but also aww because after that is when everyone turns their backs on him and Kurt gets sad

But that was really just my take on Klaine seasons 4-5. I just don't see them getting married, they had so many issues and they didn't seem like they were meant for each other. Sure that's what the show wanted it to seem like while also making them a regular couple that has their issues and fights but if you look deeper I feel like you can see that their problems ran too deep for them to have an actual healthy relationship. I don't know, that's what I think and I know a lot of anti Klainers agree with me but I know if I showed this to a Klaine stan that they would flip out so… yeah Look below the surface peeps

I guess I kind of rambled, I like talking but thanks for reading, look out for chapter 3 coming probably tomorrow or on Thursday and chapter 2 of the Hevans fic coming out soon too, leave any comments, questions or feedback for me down below and have a great day/night! Peace!