A/N: Here's another one. Hope you all enjoy. Special thanks to all my reviewers. I love you all. –glomps reviewers- Hope this measures up to my previous chapters.
Welcome Back
Chapter 2: Discussions and the Past
The soft pa'ching of the stones was the only thing that could be heard in the room. Neither Hikaru nor Sai felt like talking after what had happened. So they turned to neutral direction and started playing Go. For the first time in three years the two were playing together and it felt really good. No matter how good it felt, the incident earlier that day still hovered like a dark cloud over their game. Neither man nor ghost smiled which was odd for both of them.
Both were deep in their own thoughts as they played the game. It became evident they weren't really thinking about the game when Hikaru looked at the board and blinked in surprise. He couldn't tell what move went first and what the heck they were doing now. Sai apparently did the same because he grinned sheepishly at Hikaru before lying down.
Hikaru took the action to mean that the game was over and Sai was allowing Hikaru to clean up the stones. He did so quickly.
"How could Touya have seen you Sai?" Hikaru nearly jumped when he heard his own voice. He hadn't thought of saying anything, it just popped out. For all of his eighteen years, Hikaru knew he still sometimes acted as if he were eight.
Sai let out a long drawn sigh. I don't know. I've been thinking about it but it doesn't make sense. Only you are supposed to be able to see me.
"You're right, it doesn't make sense." Hikaru flopped onto the floor next to Sai.
Suddenly, Hikaru screamed in frustration scaring Sai to his feet. Hikaru rolled around on the floor clutching his head. Then he stopped and stood up.
"Nope. That didn't help at all." When Sai 'fell' onto the floor, Hikaru laughed. "But I feel better now. Don't you?" He laughed hard at Sai's pained expression.
Hikaruuuu… Sai whined. That wasn't even funny.
"Yes it was." Hikaru countered.
There was a knock on the door and Hikaru's mother stepped into the room.
"Hikaru, are you alright? You've been acting weird since this morning." She sounded genuinely worried.
Hikaru sighed and then gave his mother a cheeky grin. "Don't worry mom. I'm fine. Just can't figure something out."
"Well if you need me, I'm always here." She smiled warmly.
Hikaru suddenly got an idea. "Hey Mom, I'm going to give you a story problem and I want you to figure it out. Ok?"
"Sure Hikaru. Anything you like." That smile never left her face.
"I heard this story at a Go center and it's been bugging me. A man finds a ghost who says that he needs part of the mans' heart to live in and the man agrees. Years later the man's best friend tells the man that he can see the ghost. This confuses the man because it was only supposed to be him who saw the ghost." He smiled when he saw the determined look on her face. "The people at the center didn't tell me why the man's friend could see the ghost and it's been bugging me."
Suddenly, she smiled. "The man's best friend must have been a girl that he'd fallen in love with. Because she now inhabited a part of the man's heart, she could now see the ghost." She clapped her hands in delight. "That's the only thing I can think of that makes any sense." One look at her son's stunned expression and she smile compassionately. "See, your mother can be smart when she wants to be."
With that she turned around and left. Hikaru was sure he could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed. He risked a look at Sai and wished he hadn't. Sai was looking at him in stunned surprise, mouth gapping open.
His eyes grew serious and he looked at Hikaru with his Go playing eyes. Is what she say's true? Now that I think of it, it's true. It's the only thing that makes sense.
Hikaru looked at the floor and clutched his hands into fists. He hadn't meant for all of this coming out like this or this soon. He didn't even know that it would happen.
"Yes." He whispered.
But… Touya isn't a girl. The sound of Sai being confused made Hikaru look up at him. There was a look of understanding but Sai was still confused.
Hikaru sighed. He figured that he owed his best friend an explanation. "Yes, Touya's a boy. Why do you think I didn't want to say anything? For years I've been chasing after him and him me. I was so obsessed with Touya as my rival that I couldn't see anything or anyone around me. Akari was the first person who gave me the idea."
Flashback
It was a nice day out so Hikaru decided to invite Akari and Mitani out to go to some Go salons. They both accepted because they wanted to spend Hikaru's 17th birthday with him. The three of them stepped into a salon and grabbed a board and started playing. Akari had demanded that Hikaru teach her. He'd agreed just to keep his childhood friend quiet. Girls were so annoying. That's exactly what he'd thought at the time.
"No. Akari don't put your stone there. You're leaving yourself wide open for an attack right here." He pointed. Mitani nodded. "Now the right way of doing it would be to place a stone here." He pointed to a different spot on the board. "But, if you were Touya, then you'd place your stone here. That would effectively cut me off here and then allow you to build on it after you cut me off a little bit more."
Akari had given him a weird look. Hikaru wasn't good at translating looks so he didn't even try. Perhaps she thought he was so good and it was a look of wonder. No, he'd seen her looks of wonder at his playing skills and that was most definitely not it.
"I see. But Hikaru, I don't understand it. Why place this stone here right now if you're going to build on it later. Why not later?"
Hikaru huffed. "Think like a pro Akari. If you go on and play your stones the usual way and then place that stone then your opponent will follow you and cut you off. If you place the stone now, then your opponent will maybe forget about it and then you'd have the advantage. With amateur skills like that, pros like Touya would eat you alive."
Hikaru almost failed to notice the look the passed between Akari and Mitani. He'd caught it but he was so confused that he'd let it pass. Those two were seriously starting to piss him off. Maybe it had been a bad idea to invite them out for his 17th birthday.
"Hey, Shindou? Do you have like a thing for Touya? He's all you ever think about." Mitani accused almost harshly.
Hikaru had jumped, startled. "N-no. If I want to beat Touya, then I have to think like him. That's all."
"That's all?" Akari challenged. "Nearly every other sentence has been Touya this and Touya that. Are you sure you aren't gay?" The fire in Akari's eyes made Hikaru scared. "I've been following you for years, waiting for you to notice me but you never look my way. All someone has to do is mention Touya in passing and you're hooked. All you think about then is Touya."
Growing serous, Hikaru thought about what she'd said. Now that he thought about it, wherever he went, Akari was sure to follow. When he was playing soccer, Akari learned about it and started practicing with him. When he'd switched overnight to Go, Akari had followed. The looks she'd given him, the time she'd spent with him, everything she'd done only made sense if that person was deeply in love with the other. Hikaru felt his heart ache. Not with love but with sadness. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't return her feelings. And he did try. He couldn't find a scrap of love in his heart for the girl.
Seeing the decision in Hikaru's eyes, Akari spoke up again. "See. Now you know. This wasn't how I've dreamed of making a confession but it works since you've turned me down." When she saw the sadness in his eyes, she laughed. "Oh don't worry Hikaru. I think I've known what your answer would be for a long time. I'm alright. But you, on the other hand, can't notice that you've only got eyes for Touya."
Hikaru saw the tears welling up briefly in Akari's eyes and it broke his heart. He never meant to hurt his childhood friend. He couldn't say anything because this was Akari's choice. She'd told him she would be alright and he believed her. If he didn't, she'd give him a beating he wouldn't forget. Yes, better to leave her alone to deal with her broken feelings. That's how she liked doing things.
"But Touya's a guy." He stated simply.
"So?" Akari countered. "There's such a thing as being gay or even bisexual. Think about it when you get home. Ok?" She said the last very softly.
Even though she had a broken heart, she was still trying to do the best thing for him. He'd felt regret that he couldn't love Akari and then he'd squashed it. She deserved better then him and his measly feelings of regret, much better. But she also deserved an answer to her question. It was the least he could do.
"Ok. I'll think about it."
She'd smiled softly and it wasn't mentioned again that day. They'd gone to several different salons and he'd tried to forget about Touya but he'd noticed that it just wasn't going to happen. Every time Akari or Mitani placed a stone, the ghostly image of Touya would show up in his eyes and he'd be thinking of what Touya might do in such-and-such situation. Perhaps Akari had the right of it. Perhaps he was gay.
End of Flashback
"I went home later that night and seriously thought about it. It was then that I realized my feelings for Touya had grown into love and respect."
And what happened to Akari? I liked her. The sadness in Sai's eyes made Hikaru chuckle.
"A few weeks later, I hooked her and Mitani up. She was so infatuated with me that she couldn't see that she was falling in love with Mitani. With me out of the way, she was free to feel what she felt for him. They've been dating ever since and I've never seen Akari happier."
Sai smiled and nodded. That's good. But how about your problem?
Hikaru's smile disappeared. "I haven't done anything. I spend all the extra time I can with Touya but neither of us really have time to hang out together." He grew nervous. "Sai? Does this mean you don't hate me?"
Hate you? Ah, you think there weren't any gay people in the emperor's palace or in my era. He smiled warmly at Hikaru's confused look. In my era, it was common for men to marry and then take another man as a lover in the shadows. The emperor had a wife and many lovers. Not all of them were female. We just weren't as… outspoken about our sexual preference as in this era.
"Oh." Hikaru let out a sigh of relief. "Man that's great!" He flopped back down onto the floor. "I thought you were going to try to kill me or yourself if you found out."
Is that why you didn't tell me? The one closest to you? The hurt in Sai's eyes made Hikaru study the ancient ghost.
"Yes. That's why."
I'm glad. But Hikaru? Next time tell me everything. I don't like secrets being kept from me. Ok Hikaru? HIKARUUUU! Sai whined, wrapping his hands around Hikaru's neck trying to strangle him.
"AHH! Fine, fine. I understand Sai. I'll tell you anything that's really important like that!" Apparently satisfied, Sai unwrapped his hands and sat on the floor.
So, are you planning of avoiding Touya forever?
Sai's question made him think. "No. Not forever. Just until I figure out what I'm going to do and what I'm going to say. It could take a while." His hand moved up to his aching chest. "Hopefully not too long. This pain is really starting to hurt."
Sai studied his chest and then him. I think when you left Touya, you really did leave a piece of your heart with him. As your feelings for him grows, more of your heart will belong to him.
Hikaru got up, startled. "Will this hurt you?"
Sai frowned thoughtfully. No. I claimed that piece of your heart a long time ago. He can't take what is already taken.
Hikaru let out another sigh of relief. "Good. I can't do anything that would endanger you." Sai wasn't listening. He was looking out the dark window in thought. "Sai?"
Hm? Oh. Sorry Hikaru. I wasn't listening.
Hikaru smiled indulgently. "It's ok. What were you thinking about anyway?"
Sai frowned deeply. I was just thinking about that time. I talked to you but it appeared that Touya couldn't hear me. Don't you think that's strange?
"Now that you mentioned it, yes, I think it's really strange. What could that mean?" Now it was Hikaru's turn to frown.
I just don't know. This is the first time this has ever happened. Torajio never married so we never had this problem.
"I see. I guess we'll just have to figure it out as the time go." Hikaru smiled at Sai. "But for now, it's time for bed. We have a lot of catching up to do and a lot to do. I've better get as much sleep as I can.
He quickly got up and got dressed for bed. He hopped into bed and turned out the lights. He then turned around to face Sai.
"It's really good to have you back Sai."
It's really good to be back, Hikaru. I've missed you.
"Me too."
Hikaru's eyes gently closed and he was asleep before he knew it. His dreams were, for once, not sad thoughts about a certain ghost but happy ones. He now had Sai to watch over him at night in person.
