A/N: First, I would like to say thank you to Inkstained Scarlet, Phoenix Queens, PadfootStarr, The Lady Luthien, daima ashiki, Cammie Jensen, eucalypti, Yul-chan, dancingknives, and Jibery Slash Puppet for reviewing! Special thanks as well to those who reviewed my poem, "When I Grow Old".
I finally got the chance to read the novel, and it was amazing, as I had expected. Annie Proulx has a real talent for being able to get her readers involved in her characters with such a limited amount of space. Reading "Brokeback Mountain" has also hopefully given me some more insight into the characters as I proceed in this series.
Also, just to clarify, this will be written in third-person limited with alternating points of view. (Thanks to K. for letting me know the official terminology). Basically, it is in third person, but each chapter is otherwise told from the p.o.v. of Jack or Ennis.
I hope you enjoy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Texas hold 'em poker seemed like an appropriate game for them to be playing now. It was a common game among the sheep-herders, as the rules were simple enough to remember even as one proceeded to get more and more drunk. It wasn't as good a game with just two people with nothing to bet, but entertaining nonetheless.
Jack had suggested strip poker only half-jokingly, but Ennis was nowhere near uninhibited enough for that. His style was quieter, more subtle. He would continue this relationship; he couldn't resist the temptation to touch Jack, to be close to him. However, he still shied away from any blatant show of anything more than vague friendliness. They had only been together a week, after all.
Jack did not seem to have anywhere near as many reservations. He had spent the evening playing his harmonica between rounds, much to the secret amusement of Ennis. He would have seriously contemplated killing anyone else who made that much screeching noise, but this was Jack. He was the exception to most of Ennis's rules.
So, instead of yelling for Jack to come take his turn already, Ennis laughed heartily and took another swig of whiskey.
He had done this countless times before. Playing cards, getting drunk, laughing at nothing in particular. Anyone in passing would see nothing out of the ordinary about two young men passing their time this way.
It occurred to him how strange it was that the exact same events could feel so different with Jack.
The line between friendship and love was distinct. Ennis had never been simply friends with a woman. How could you be? There were women he was friendly with, of course. Friends of Alma's, mostly. But to sit and drink and cavort around with? Not so much.
When he was with her, they spoke of other things. He was calm and pleasant and respectful, or tried to be as often as possible. They spoke of their future together, of getting their own ranch, of raising children. Ennis would never have revealed his deep thoughts to her, or any of his sometimes less than pure feelings and urges. He kept this part of himself tucked far away, because he didn't want to deal with it.
Not that he revealed this part to his male friends, either. He would join in their laughter and frivolity, but not their revealing talk. Even drunk, he was quiet.
It was his personal belief that there were certain things that you simply did not reveal to anyone under any circumstances. Part of you has to stay hidden. If you were to share this deep, secret part of yourself with someone, there was always the possibility that they could use it against you. Ennis refused to take this risk.
Or, he had refused. Until now. He still wasn't sure why, but none of these reservations were applicable with Jack. They had been at first, but Jack had managed to break down his walls. He was still reticent often, still the quiet one, but there were moments of inhibition. Moments when he felt comfortable enough to just be happy. This was a new experience for Ennis, and as much as he loved it, it scared him.
Time was ticking away in a vague corner of his mind. It had occurred to him quite a few times that they only had one more month together. After that…
He tried not to think about it. Right now, in this moment, he was content.
And maybe that wasn't enough, in the grand scheme of things. But it was all he had.
Abruptly, Ennis put down his cards and the whiskey bottle and walked over to where Jack was lying. He slowly lowered himself beside him and looked over at him. Jack stopped playing his idle tune and met his gaze tenderly.
Jack leaned forward to kiss him briefly, before pulling away to look into his eyes again. He smiled and chuckled a little, gesturing at the harmonica and saying, "Enough?"
Ennis thought for a moment before responding rather decisively considering the levity of the question. "Yes."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please read and review, I'd really appreciate it.Thanks to eucalypti, I fixed my options and can now accept anonymous reviews as well (I get too lazy to sign in sometimes; too, I know how annoying that can be).
Also, and I promise this is the last time; I want to advertise my now functional Brokeback Mountain forum in the forums section on this site. Please come and share your opinions, I'd love to hear from you!
