Beginning Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of suicide

Sorry, this took so long to get out, I'm not good with sticking with one thing but this is the last chapter and it's super sad, just a warning.

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He was done.

It had been a month since Blaine proposed. It had been a month since he told Blaine he didn't want to marry him. It had been a month since Finn had died. It had been a month since everything had been taken from him. And he was done.

He didn't know how he had gotten where he was at the moment. It had been a long week and he was at his breaking point. The breeze in the night pressed against his face and he heard the faint buzzing of all the cars and people down below him on the streets. He didn't want to be there. He wanted to be in the loft with Santana and Rachel even though he was still upset with them for kicking him out. He wanted to be with his dad even though he was still upset with him for taking Blaine's side in the proposal incident and then not inviting him to go to Finn's funeral. He wanted to be with Finn… maybe that's why he was where he was.

He knew that wasn't how it worked but he was so tired and hurt, Finn was the only one who had understood him and now he was gone. And everyone else he knew either hated him or still sided with Blaine even if they said they were with him. It wasn't fair and he just didn't get it. Blaine was in high school, he was in college. Blaine had cheated on him when he had only been away for two weeks. They had just gotten back together when he proposed. He hadn't even wanted to get back together with him in the first place but he was stupid enough to think he had changed. Oh, how wrong he was.

Tears slipped down his face and off of the roof as he stood on the edge on shaky legs. He didn't really think he was going to jump. That was too dangerous, not for him (that was actually kind of the point) but to everyone else down below him. He didn't want to cause a car accident, that wouldn't be fair to Finn. He guessed he just wanted to see if this was what he actually wanted or if he was just acting irrationally. He wasn't though, he was done.

But he ended up stepping down and collapsed in on himself on the roof of his apartment building. He was so scared. Scared of himself, scared of his dad, scared of everyone else, scared that he was nothing without any of them. And he didn't want to live in fear. He wanted to live and be free or he didn't want to live at all…

So instead he went into his bag and pulled out a bottle. And he opened the bottle and downed everything that was in it. And he threw the bottle across the roof before he rested his back on the wall of the roof. It was settled, he was doing this.

And he didn't remember when the effects of the pills started to kick in. He didn't notice his body begin to shake, he didn't notice his heart beating out of his chest, he didn't notice any of it… and he didn't care either. He just closed his eyes and laid his head on the floor of the roof.

He was dead.


He got the call in the middle of the night, just like he had about Finn. From the moment he answered the phone he knew something was wrong but he didn't expect to hear that his other son was dead. He didn't expect to hear that his son had killed himself.

The owner of Kurt's apartment found him on the top of the roof. He explained to Burt that he called the ambulance but that it was already too late, he had been dead for some time. Then he begged him not to sue him for what happened but that hadn't even crossed his mind. It wasn't his fault Kurt was dead, it wasn't even Kurt's fault, it was his.

He had felt bad about not inviting Kurt to Finn's funeral. He knew that they weren't only brothers but that they were friends and that he should invite him despite everyone else benign there. But he couldn't build up the courage to call him again to tell him to come. Kurt had said he didn't want to talk to him ever again and that hurt him even though he was the reason he said that.

He didn't cry, he couldn't. Carol could tell that something was wrong and when she found out she cried but he didn't. That only made him even angrier with himself because of the fact that he couldn't cry over his own son's death but he had lost so much already, he guessed he ran out of tears to cry. But that didn't mean he didn't care, if anything this was the greatest loss he had ever experienced.

Kurt was the one to get him through the death of Elizabeth, he was the only reason he kept going. Sure they didn't always see eye to eye on everything but they were still there for each other. But then he had met Finn and Carol and he could tell that he was pushing Kurt away and that he was hurting him. He told him that he didn't need to change for him but then he went against what he said and continued pushing him away, growing closer to Sam and Blaine instead of him. He never meant to make Kurt feel the way he did, he never meant to be the reason his son committed suicide.

He felt like a ghost. He didn't feel anything, Kurt's death was like a huge slap to his face, waking him up and making him face reality. He was a bad father, a bad person. He wasn't there for the person that was always there for him. He blamed himself, it was his fault. He would never forgive himself.


He wasn't looking forward to breaking the news to his students. He knew something had gone down between them and Kurt and that no one was going to be happy when he brought up his name but he kind of wondered how their attitudes would change when they found out the news.

He knew he should've done something for Kurt. He knew how lonely he had been before he joined the glee club and now he was right back where he started and this time he had no safe place to go. But he also knew that he was probably one of the last people Kurt would want to talk about his relationship problems with and he knew that Kurt never really liked him. But it still hurt that Kurt was dead.

And that he had died by killing himself. He remembered when Kurt first joined his club and when Emma told him about him and the pamphlet. He had also kept a close eye on him after he heard that news but Kurt seemed fine after he joined the club and made friends. Then there was the bullying his junior year and he knew he could've done more but then Kurt transferred and met Blaine and then he was happy again. His senior year had been fine and after that, they barely saw each other so he guessed he let his guard down. But it was just so sad that everyone had been worried about him killing himself a few years back and now no one was worried and he did it anyway.

"Okay everyone," He said when he walked into the choir room that morning. Everyone seemed so cheerful and high-spirited that morning, even Blaine who had been so down and depressed lately. He hated that that was going to change. "I have something I need to tell you guys but it's not going to be easy to hear,"

"Is it about Nationals?" Tina asked him, her expression changing drastically.

"No, it's not that," He frowned. "It's about Kurt,"

"Don't even say that name in here," Kitty told him, rolling her eyes. "You know what he did to Blaine,"

"You know what, it's fine," Blaine smiled at him, shrugging. "I'm over it, I can't avoid him forever, you know?"

"Right," Mr. Schue nodded, thinking about how ironic that was. "Well seeing how some of you used to be really close to Kurt, I know this is going to hurt. And I don't know what happened between a lot of you and him but regardless I think we need to be respectful of Kurt right now, alright?"

Everyone nodded but he saw Artie and Sam frown at each other. He felt like he had been kicked on his stomach.

"Kurt's dead," He sighed, feeling the tone of the room change. "The owner of his apartment found him… there was no saving him,"

"What?" Blaine said quietly, the color draining out of his face.

"It wasn't anyone's fault," Mr. Schue assured everyone. "But he died of suicide. Large amounts of painkillers were found in his system and when the roof was investigated they found an empty bottle… the bottle he had taken,"

"He killed himself?" Artie asked him, looking down at his gloves.

"Yes," Mr. Schue nodded, feeling tears prickle in his eyes. But he told himself that he wasn't going to cry, he had to be strong for his students. "And I know this is really hard seeing that everyone just lost Finn but-"

"I'm going to kill you," Sam spat at Blaine, tears running down his face. He jumped out of his chair and charged after Blaine but Jake and Ryder held him back. "I'm going to kill you,"

"Sam bud, you gotta calm down," Mr. Schue told him. "This isn't Blaine's fault,"

"Yes, it is," Sam yelled, struggling to get free from Ryder and Jake. "It's all his fault, I'm going to kill him,"

"I didn't know," Blaine whispered, tears slipping down his own face.

"You were so mean to him," Sam yelled, breaking down. "You turned everyone, even his own father against him because you're a manipulative asshole. He lost everyone because of you, he felt like no one cared. And I tried to be there for the both of you but you didn't deserve anything from me, Blaine. You did this, it was all you,"

"Sam, you can't say that," Kitty told him.

"Yeah this is just as hard on Blaine as it was on Kurt," Tina said. "You're being selfish. And so was Kurt, just think about how his dad feels about him now,"

"It was his fault too," Sam explained. "He took Blaine's side just like the rest of us. We all abandoned him when he needed us. Artie and Tina, you used to be Kurt's best friends. Blaine, you were his boyfriend, I don't care what he did, you should've understood and respected what he wanted. Unique, he was the reason that you were comfortable with being who you were. He was the reason I wasn't kicked out on the streets when my family lost everything. He was always there for us and we couldn't be there for him? What is wrong with you guys?"

"Sam…" Marley started to say when he tugged his arms out of Jake and Ryder's grasps and started walking out of the room.

"I quit," Sam told everyone. "I'm done, I'm done with all of you,"

He continued walking out of the room and no one stopped him.

"The funeral's next week," Mr. Schue told the rest of his students, clearing his throat. "His dad asked us to prepare a piece to sing there, he said that Kurt would've liked that,"

"I need a minute," Artie told him, hiding his face as he rolled himself out of the choir room.

"How about everyone just takes a free period?" Mr. Schue suggested to the rest of his class. "Take some time to reflect and cope and when we come back, we'll brainstorm ideas for the funeral,"

Blaine quickly walked out of the room, shrugging off attempts from Tina and Kitty to go with him and everyone slowly trudged their ways out of the room. He looked around his now empty choir room and felt a pain in his heart. They were gone now, the Hummel-Hudson brothers were gone.

He broke down in tears and was glad that no one was there to see him cry.


He didn't believe Sam at first when he told him that Kurt was dead. After the whole proposal thing got blown up in everyone's face, he had started talking to Sam after he had learned that he was on Kurt's side. He had to admit he liked Sam, he was cool and funny and it was nice to see that not everyone worshipped that gelmet. So when Sam texted him saying that Kurt was dead he thought it was a joke, like Kurt was toast or something. He sent him back a laughing emotion and then asked him what he meant by that and then Sam called him.

"It's not a joke dude," Sam told him, sounding like he was crying. "He killed himself,"

"What?" He asked, feeling his heart sink.

"I just found out," Sam explained to him. "He killed himself,"

"Why?" Sebastian asked, trying to process this information. Kurt was dead? He committed suicide?

"How am I supposed to know why?" Sam snapped at him. "He took a bunch of pills, probably because Blaine and his dad were dicks to him,"

"I gotta go," Sebastian said quickly before hanging up his phone. He was livid. This was Blaine's fault? He thought Blaine loved Kurt. Of course, they had had their issues but he didn't know that Blaine had been so horrible to him that Kurt would kill himself. And what happened with him and his dad, don't tell him that his dad took Blaine's side. He had to tell Nick and Jeff.

"Kurt's dead," He said, out of breath when he burst into the Warbler's common room.

"Hey Seb," Jeff said to him, not looking up from where he was sitting with Nick as they looked at something on his phone. They obviously hadn't heard him.

"Didn't you hear me?" He asked them angrily, going over to Nick and Jeff and hitting his phone out of his hands.

"No, but is it really that important that you had to knock my phone out of my hand?" Jeff muttered to him.

"Kurt's dead you idiot," Sebastian yelled at the two of them, tears burning in his eyes. "He took pills and he's dead,"

"What?" Nick asked, dropping his jaw.

"Sam just told me," Sebastian shrugged his shoulders, looking at the ceiling to keep his tears at bay. "He killed himself,"

"No," Jeff choked, shaking his head. "He's not dead, I'll call him right now,"

"Jeff baby, don't do this," Nick told him, taking his hand. "He's not going to answer,"

"He's not dead Nick," Jeff told him, dialing Kurt's number. "I'll call him right now and he'll answer,"

Sebastian and Nick looked at each other while Jeff tried calling Kurt. He held his phone to his ear but the call went straight through. So he tried again… still no answer. So he tried again… still no answer. He kept trying to reach him but every time the call went straight through.

"He's not dead," Jeff whispered to himself. "He can't be,"

"I can't believe it," Nick said to himself. "Why would he do that?"

"It was Blaine," Sebastian said through gritted teeth.

"Seb, don't blame Blaine," Nick told him.

"Nick, don't defend Blaine," Sebastian told him. "This is his fault,"

"I didn't even get to say goodbye," Jeff said before bursting into tears and burrowing his face in Nick's shoulder.

"Jeff…" Nick started to say, hugging Jeff back but then he started crying too. Sebastian looked at the two of them and started crying as well and sat down with them, pulling them into a group hug.

When the rest of the Warblers came into the room that day they found them crying like that and for some reason they seemed to know not to say anything. They didn't have the heart to.


Things fell apart quickly. Blaine stopped going to school and didn't show his face at the funeral. He didn't know he had been that bad to Kurt until he was gone. He did love him whether Kurt thought that or not, he guessed he just didn't show it. He felt guilty and numb, he couldn't even leave his room. And as much as he tried to tell himself that it wasn't his fault, he knew deep down inside himself that Sam and Sebastian and everyone else were right. It was all his fault.

Burt felt the same way. He didn't know he had hurt Kurt that much. He was angry with himself. He loved both of his sons and now they were both gone. He had tried to help Kurt when he was struggling in the past, he didn't know why he didn't do the same this time. He never would've thought that this was how things would end for his son, that he would kill himself. He knew he had struggled in the past but he didn't think that those thoughts would ever return to him. And he never would've thought that he would be the cause.

Everyone felt really bad for Sam. He wouldn't talk to anyone but Sebastian and everywhere he went he looked dead. He had lost two people that had done so much for him and he didn't know what to do about it. He didn't want to be around anyone, he was isolating himself and he knew that wasn't the right thing to do but he was angry with everyone. He didn't understand why bad things happened to good people.

The rest of the glee kids tried to act like everything was normal but they could all tell they weren't very convincing. Sam quit for good and Blaine wouldn't leave his room so they were down two members and no one was really in the mood to sing. They had settled on a song to sing at the funeral but after that their meetings consisted of silence and moping. Mr. Schue tried to lift everyone's spirits at first but even he got tired of pretending like things were okay when they really weren't. Santana and Rachel felt bad when they found out. So did Mercedes and Puck. Everyone felt bad and blamed themselves individually.

At the funeral, Sam and Sebastian cried the hardest. Everyone else felt numb. Blaine didn't come. Finn wasn't there. The funeral was for Kurt. He killed himself. Everyone had tried so hard to save him and in the end, they failed. Things would never be the same. But the one thing that popped up in everyone's minds, the thing that made them feel a little better was the fact that Finn and Kurt were together now, the only person that was there for Kurt was still there.


Ending Notes:

Like I said, super sad, I cried multiple times while writing this but maybe I'm just too emotional (Sam made me cry so hard) 😭😭 I have a lot of mixed feelings on this ending but I really liked writing this chapter.

This isn't really friendly towards Blaine or Burt or anyone for that matter but I'm not going to act like everyone is heartless here. If this really happened then Blaine would feel bad and guilty and so would Burt along with the glee club. I don't really know how Sebastian would react because technically he's not canon in this but I wrote him like this. So I guess in the end even though everyone was acting like an ass throughout this, it's really not bashing anyone? Because they feel remorse and guilt for what they did? I don't know, that's how I see it.

Also I put some Samseb(is that their name?) in there because why not? I love them!

Please fill out this GOOGLE FORM SURVEY [ /ii88sjcvM4FQH4vB9] for this work so I can get everyone's feedback and opinions on this and see what ideas everyone has, thank you!

Please leave any comments, questions or feedback for me down below and fill out the survey so I know what everyone thinks of this fic! I hope everyone liked this!

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