First of all, thank you all so much for reviewing! Seeing that many reviews made me so happy and encouraged me to write more and update sooner. Many thanks specifically to: Peggyz, jcrooz, kipperoo543, SmileVampy, The Lady Luthien, tussis, LuvAngel448, Street Spirit, TearsofEcstasy, Pyxelle, w84u, Shikan and x-woman1.
Before you read this chapter, though, I'll warn you that it may be disturbing to some. I'm not sure what you'll think, but I thought I should put this just in case.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack felt like hell. No, worse. Pain beyond what mere words could described, coupled with the humiliation and the utter despair that came with the recognition of his complete helplessness.
He didn't know how he had lasted this long, or why he had even bothered. Maybe it was due to his deep yearning to see Ennis again, just one last time…
But it was long past the time that he needed to accept that this was not to be. The agony was too much. Jack heard a sickening crunch, and he didn't know if he felt relieved or terrified that he could no longer tell from which place in his body this new pain came. It was like what a little creek would add to a crashing ocean. The red-stained world was giving way to blackness, and he had lost the fight to resist. The knowledge that what was being done to him was wrong did nothing to assuage his wounds.
Just one last question occurred to him: In a world in which love couldn't survive, where it would be dragged down and beat with tire irons, was there even a point in living?
If so, Jack didn't see what it was.
Time moved differently now. As he swirled deeper down into the darkness, there came the infamous time in which scenes from his life flashed before him, flashing and twirling like a kaleidoscope. He was beyond pain, now. He saw his sparsely-furnished boyhood room; the only road he had ever known for twelve years; his father's screaming rants; his mother's cherry pie; his first time on a horse; his days in the rodeo; his wife; his son; and all those damn sheep…
But a piece was missing, he felt, the largest piece, the glue that had held his life together, had made it make sense and have meaning. At this realization, he felt an instinctive longing for some light in his last moments before the eternal darkness. This longing, rather than any coherent thought, brought to him the visions of Ennis. Not the sad ones or the angry ones, just those quiet, peaceful moments from that summer on Brokeback.
It was fitting that his last memory was of Ennis's embrace that evening on the mountain – the one moment of pure, effortless happiness in a life of heartbreak.
Then, with the feel of Ennis's arms around him as comforting as those of angels, Jack abandoned himself to the radiant blackness.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the short side, I know, but I thought that was a fitting length for this chapter. The last one will definitely be long – probably longer than any other chapter so far.
Please, please review and let me know how you thought I did with this chapter!
