Kiss Me Softly Goodbye.
The talk about kids didn't come out of blue exactly, but it still did surprise Stiles. Maybe not the topic on itself but more of how much Derek's eyes would light up by just talking about making their family even bigger.
They have been married for only a year, but Stiles was excited to move forward, giving Derek even more joy to shine.
Only when they finished up all the paperwork and needed procedures, did Stiles stop and start to panic, what if this wasn't for them? What if he was unfit to be a dad? They are so young still but already planning, what if they were rushing it?
- Stiles, son, listen to me. Why did you want to do this in the first place? - Noah put a cup of tea in front of Stiles, sitting down.
- We just… We talked and talked and got all excited about the idea and I couldn't get it out of my head and I just… I don't know, wanted it, I guess? - Stiles shrugged, looking down in his cup.
- And why are you so worried right now? -
- Because I'm me, Dad! What if I fuck everything up? What if I'm just not fit to be a parent and I ruin some babies' lives? - Stiles couldn't help biting down on his lip, his own words hurting so much that it was hard to breathe.
Shit, he hasn't got a panic attack in such a long time, could he really have one because of possible babies?
- Listen, Your mum named you after her father because you were worthy of such a name, she admired the man and he was an amazing father. And so will you. It will come naturally to you, I am sure about it. - Noah placed a hand over Stiles' trembling one.
- Oh, Dad! - Stiles couldn't help the tears spilling over his cheeks, but yet he felt the lightness filling him up.
Stiles couldn't wait to hear about their baby in the making.
The news came a couple weeks later, Stiles was sitting outside and checking his email, not able to sleep once again but letting Derek sleep for a little longer.
The words blurred together as Stiles stared at them, not really being able to believe that they were real.
Without thinking he jumped up and screamed Derek's name, rushing up to their room.
- Stiles! - Derek roared, half in panic, already wolfing out by the time Stiles jumped on him on their bed.
- We are having a baby! Der! We are having a baby! - Stiles couldn't stop screaming, waving his phone over excitedly while throwing his arms around Derek's neck and placing wet uncoordinated kisses all around Derek's face.
- Oh? Yes, we are? - Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles to make sure that they wouldn't topple off the bed, shifting back to his human self.
- No, no, I mean, now! I got email! We are expecting! - Stiles finally stilled enough to show Derek his phone.
- Oh my! Oh! We are having a baby! - Derek jumped up, not believing his eyes. - We are really having a baby! -
- Yes, we are! - Stiles jumped up too, laughing softly at the pure joy radiating from Derek.
They jumped up and down on the bed like idiots for a moment longer, just laughing and letting the news sink in before falling back down, kissing passionately.
- We are having a baby. - Stiles murmured against Derek's lips, his heart bursting from joy.
- We really are. - Derek grinned, pulling Stiles in another kiss.
It came like a trainwreck, unpossible to predict before it was too late.
Miscaridge.
Such a simple term but yet so painful.
It was tearing Stiles' whole soul apart.
When he finally pulled in air in his lungs, one glance at the pain in Derek's eyes sent him right back over the edge.
Stiles couldn't help himself, slowly retreating back into himself, shutting down.
He knew that it hurt Derek even more, yet he couldn't help it, he just couldn't.
One night after waking up screaming once again, he curled against Derek's chest, trembling and still not able to catch his breath, his throat all raw, eyes sore from crying.
- What if that's destiny? What if I'm really not fit to be a dad? - Stiles hoarse out in the dark, hiding his face against Derek's warm skin.
- Don't say that. Bad things happen. This was just one of them. You will be an amazing father, Stiles. You just can't give up. One day when, and I am saying WHEN, not if, we will have a baby, they will love you so so much because you will be the best dad ever. And You know that I don't lie to you. - Derek looked Stiles straight in the eye, not even blinking about all the mess.
- I love you so much. - Stiles pulled Derek back close, hugging him like his life depended on it, soon falling back asleep, feeling light for the first time all over again.
- We could try again. - Derek suggest.
- Or we could just adopt. - Stiles leaned against Derek.
- I'm all for it, if you want. -
- I want what you want. -
- Stiles. -
- Derek. -
They fell silent for a long moment, just sitting pressed together.
- Just one more time, one last visit to the clinic. Then we are going to the adoption center. -
- Okay, love. - Derek kissed Stiles softly.
They didn't tell anyone, bringing it like a surprise. They couldn't even remember which idea it was, somehow they just decided to wait till Thanksgiving dinner at their house to announce the news.
When everyone finally got there, Stiles escaped upstairs, coming down with a small baby boy in his arms.
- Everyone, meet Ithan! - Stiles couldn't keep his excitement out of his voice.
- Our baby son! - Derek wrapped his arms around them both, looking down with admiration.
Everyone was shocked in silence but then started talking all at once, not having seen anything like this happening.
Stiles was happy, so full of joy that he was radiating, sharing it right up with Derek.
They were fathers.
Stiles hasn't slept almost at all that night, something just keeping him awake, so Derek has left to go to the park with Ithan to let him nap for a bit.
But when they came home, Stiles was sitting in his corner by the window, a blanket wrapped around him.
- My boys are home. - Stiles extended his arms, his voice wavering and eyes filling with tears once again.
- What's wrong? - Derek rushed over to Stiles, gathering him up in his arms, alongside Ithan who clung to Stiles right away.
- I got woken up by a call from the clinic. - Stiles started crying, pulling Ithan even closer.
- What? Why? What did they want? - Derek starts to rock his boys back and forth, trying to calm them both.
- Derek. - Stiles looked up, taking a deep breath. - The last donation, it succeeded. We are two months pregnant. -
Derek just stared at Stiles for a moment, not really processing his words.
Stiles starts to cry again, burying his face into Ithan's hair.
- Oh, baby! - Derek hugged him even closer, burying his nose into Stiles' hair.
They sat like that for a long moment, Ithan falling asleep between them.
- We are having another baby… - Stiles whispered softly, tilting his head up to look at Derek.
- We are having another baby. - Derek placed a soft kiss on top of Stiles forehead.
What they didn't expect was twins. Two egg twins, one having Stiles' DNA and other having Derek's.
Doctor explained how rare that was, but they didn't care, they were fathers to three healthy kids and that was all that mattered.
Two boys and a girl.
What more could they ask for?
Luci was an exact copy of Stiles while James was an exact copy of Derek. Ithan was a mix of them both for some weird reason.
Stiles soon found out that he was amazing at parenting, it coming natural to him without much thinking.
He sat down in his favorite corner, silently thanking his mum for it.
Stiles couldn't say that it came out of blue, some part of him always knew that it was coming, but right now sitting down, knowing his scan results and waiting for Derek, it felt a bit surreal, like one of his night terrors.
When Derek got home, he was in such a good mood that Stiles didn't tell him anything.
They were laying in bed later that night, catching breath after intense love making when Stiles finally broke the silence.
- I'm sick, Derek. - He whispered in the dark, his heart not even skipping a beat.
- What do you mean? Do you have a cold or something? - Derek stilled for a moment, turning to look at Stiles.
- No, nothing like that. I am sick, Derek. I have it. - Stiles turned to look at Derek, watching as realization dawned on him.
- Baby, just because you are having some trouble sleeping doesn't mean that you are having it. - Derek softly pushed his fingers in Stiles' hair.
- No, it is not. Today my scan results came, they are exactly like Void showed them before. I am having it, Derek. Really having it. - Stiles was calm, too calm and he had no idea why.
- We got rid of Void. He lied, manipulated you. - Derek sat up, running his hands through his own hair.
- Maybe, but maybe he was just showing me the truth. After all, the best way to manipulate is to twist the truth buried deep inside. Derek, you know that this is true. Please. - Stiles sat up, placing a trembling hand on Derek's shoulder.
- Then we will fix it. - Derek turned around, his eyes frantic. - You can take a bite, get turned and then it will be alright. -
- Oh, sweetheart. - Stiles cupped Derek's face softly in his palms.
- Stiles, please, just take the bite. Please, baby. - Derek gripped Stiles' wrists a bit too tightly, tears gathering in his eyes.
- I can't. I won't. My answer since Peter offered hasn't changed. I won't take a bite. - Stiles spoke so softly, trying to sooth Derek.
- Fuck it, Stiles! - Derek exploded, jumping up from the bed, pulling at his own hair.
- Derek, please sit down. - Stiles sounded so tired.
- We have three small children, Stiles! Why can't you just take the bite? Don't you… Don't you want to be with me? - Derek stilled, turning to Stiles with fear twisting his face.
- Oh, sweetheart. Of course not. - Stiles pulled Derek back down, hugging him close. - I love you, Derek, I love you so so much. Nothing will change that. I promise that not even frontotemporal dementia won't change that. -
- But I can't. I can't live without you. I can't take care of our babies without you. - Tears spilled over Derek's cheeks.
- You can. Of course, you can. You are an amazing father and they love you. You will excel at raising them up to be great human beings. - Stiles kissed away Derek's tears, calming him down.
- At least tell me why. Please? - Derek looked up with red rimmed eyes.
- Because it's all I have left from my mum, the last connection we have. This is how she made me, a human with a big heart. I can't become a werewolf, Der, I can't lose this last piece of her. I'm sorry, I am so sorry, Sweetheart, but I can't. I can't lose her forever. I won't be able to live with myself that way, I won't be able to be fully comfortable. And you know what happens when the body is rejecting the bite, it ends in agony, never ending agony. I am sorry, Sweetheart, so so sorry. - It was Stiles' turn to cry.
- Oh, Stiles! - Derek wasn't able to say anything more, he simply pulled Stiles close and cried softly with him.
Stiles died just two months after, taking his last breath against Derek's lips, his last heartbeat beating against Derek's palm.
It took all three of their babies crying for Derek for him to finally let go of Stiles' body, making it real.
He couldn't believe how unforgiving life was, taking Stiles away from him so soon, only at twenty six.
But he gotta let him go and go take care of their babies.
They got Stiles' ashes a couple days later, scattering it around the forest, so Stiles was everywhere around them, connected with them and the Hale land.
Past and Present connecting.
Derek knew that his mum would love Stiles and take care of him in whatever afterlife there was, it was the only thing comforting him to keep going and being happy with their beautiful babies.
