Separation
Chapter Six: Reunited
A/N: SO sorry for the long period of no update on this story! I love writing this story, and the reviews have been very flattering! Thank you to all who have read and/or reviewed! Please continue to do so, for it is very encouraging and helpful. Hope you enjoy!
Miroku sat outside Mushin's temple, looking up at the sky, absorbed in his memories. He knew he shouldn't torture himself, but it seemed to come with the territory of failing to save a loved one. The alcohol had long since left his system, and he realized that he had not yet prayed for Sango's repose. So, still heavy-hearted, he raised a hand and bowed his head, in order to honor his beloved, the way she deserved to be honored.
Sango, proud and honorable warrior, beloved girl... To have you in my life, even for a short while, was to me the greatest honor and joy . Despite the horrors that you experienced and the overwhelming sadness that could have consumed your heart entirely, your soul remained beautiful. Everything about you was beautiful...Your courage, your selflessness, your strength, all of you...and I admired you...I always will.
You brought happiness to my life once again and gave me a future that I could look forward to. I know that I wasn't the man you wanted me to be, and for that, I am deeply sorry. I didn't live up to that, but I want you to know that you always lived up to, no, exceeded, my own expectations. I am sorry I failed you, but I refuse to continue to do that. I want to be that man for you, Sango.
He knew he was far from perfect, and this wounded him deeply, especially now. Were Sango still with him, he could strive to be a better man for her, show her that she meant enough to him that he would do all in his power to become the kind of man she could respect and love. He could still do that for her, though. It would be his tribute to her. If nothing else, he promised he would be a better monk and a better man, and he refused to let that be no more than an empty vow.
Sango, may your soul find eternal peace... I love you...
He worried, though. What had become of Kohaku? Sango possessed a strong sense of duty and an even stronger love for her younger brother. Had defeating Naraku been enough to put the burden upon her soul at ease?
I fear she will continue to have regret for Kohaku's fate... And what of Kohaku? Is he truly freed, and if so, can his soul be saved? Will he be able to forgive himself for the acts he has committed under Naraku's control?
He knew Sango desperately worried about her brother's fate. She had even considered ending his life on several occasions, to free him from the torment in his heart caused by Naraku.
"Sango...I vow to do everything in my power to help Kohaku find peace. I will never give up." he promised aloud.
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Sango awoke in her hut from the same haunting dream of Naraku permeating her flesh. She clutched at her chest, in futile attempt to steady her rapid heartbeat. She stepped outside and noted that sunrise was not far off. Afraid to go back to sleep, for fear of more nightmares, Sango decided to pick some wild flowers to put on the graves of her father and fellow villagers. She set off to a nearby field, the dream still hanging over her.
Become one with me...
She attempted to shake away the thought, but the implications of what she feared may be happening were too much for her to bear. No, she couldn't risk going back to her friends. She couldn't put their lives in danger like that. She would have to stay away, let them continue to believe she was dead... It would be better that way...
She had made her way to the field and began picking flowers. Her actions were slow and steady, almost as if she were in a daze. She had been given another chance at life, but for some reason, she felt as thought it had been stolen right out from under her. She felt hollow.
Her thoughts drifted to her brother. If Naraku was still alive, then he would likely still be under his control. If Naraku was dead, then would Kohaku's memory have been restored? If that were the case, he would undoubtedly be suffering. Either way, it was torture for Sango.
She then thought of her friends. She longed to see them. Kagome, Inuyasha, Shippo, Kirara, Miroku...
Were they missing her? Was it right to withhold the fact that she was alive from them? Perhaps she could still go to them, so long as she warned them about the visions she'd seen... After all, her friends had always stuck by her, even when she'd been sure no one would. She still felt guilty about putting them through what she had.
Still, the thought of what Kohaku's life had become haunted her, and she couldn't bear to become like that. She could never live with herself if she committed the crimes her younger brother had. She could not hate him for it, but she would undoubtedly hate herself.
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Miroku shifted when he felt the rising sunlight hit his face. He had fallen asleep sitting up, outside the temple. For the few glorious seconds that it took for full consciousness to settle in, Miroku was peaceful, but then it all came rushing back to him. Sango...
She had been in his dreams. He had dreamed of a much simpler and happier time for Sango. He quite lucidly saw a young Sango, back in her village, before her destiny was shattered...
The dream persuaded Miroku to visit Sango's village. He would pay his respects there and then head to the site of...Sango's death... He knew it would be painful, but he would go. The events that had transpired and the hope that Sango was alive had occupied his thoughts, preventing him from properly paying homage to her. He was beginning to realize that he may very well be forced to come to terms with the strong possibility that Sango was beyond his reach. He went inside to bid Mushin farewell, then headed out.
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Sango finished laying wild-flowers upon each grave and now kneeled beside her father's. Her eyes were closed in prayer when she realized she was no longer alone. Someone was approaching...
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard a familiar jingling. Sango opened her eyes and rose to her feet, and she saw him...
Her heart nearly stopped in that instant, then sped up rapidly, threatening to leap from her chest. She didn't run to him, though, nor did she even make a move toward him. She simply stood there, staring.
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And he stopped, dead in his tracks, at the sight before him.
He felt paralyzed, as if his body had suddenly become stone. He could not speak, nor move...yet his mind was reeling out of control.
In an instant, an overwhelming sensation of joy had washed over him, and he could once again feel the heart within his chest. He had known it remained, despite being broken, but he could now feel it...and it was beating like mad...
He wanted so badly to shout out to her, go to her, take her in his arms and never let go...
He mentally cursed his sudden paralysis...he couldn't understand why in hell he wasn't going to her! Then again, she was making no move toward him, either.
Sango... Can it really be you? This figure before him certainly appeared to be his beloved...or a very masterfully crafted decoy...
Real or not, though, he made up his mind that he didn't care. And he ran to her.
He was before her now. She looked disheveled and her suit had been torn in several places from battle.
"Sango..." He uttered fervently. His eyes met hers, his gaze longing but more so, loving.
Her eyes seemed to mask some sort of fear or torment. What has happened to you?
And then... "Miroku..." The most beautiful sound in the world...my name upon her lips...
Her eyes softened, and he could see tears beginning to form. But she looked happy.
And he could no longer stand it. She might slap him...or vanish before his very eyes, but he knew he would go insane if he didn't touch her. So, he wasted not one more second and enfolded her within his arms, nearly crushing her against him. He held her there, arms wrapped protectively around her shoulders.
Sango buried her head in his robes, allowing her once limp arms to find their way around his waist. Miroku rested his chin upon her head and closed his eyes, clinging to her...savoring every second...knowing well that he'd sooner die than break the embrace. And she wasn't vanishing...
"Sango...I thought I'd lost you forever!" He kissed the top of her head.
She pulled back from him, and he reluctantly allowed it, but kept a firm hold upon her shoulders. He couldn't bear for her to be any further than arm's length away. He felt that he needed constant reassurance that she was there with him...
She looked into his eyes, not knowing quite what to say to him. There was so much she wanted to...so much she needed to say to him...
She chose silence, though, and instead placed a hand upon his cheek. She too wanted the reassurance that he was there...and she craved his touch as much as he craved hers. She began stroking his cheek, and he placed his hand upon hers, holding it firmly against his skin and turned to place a gentle kiss upon her open palm. She blushed slightly and gave him a sweet smile. She had never seen him so affectionate, so genuinely loving...
But she was his world...and he suddenly had her back. And he was a sublimely happy man.
He intertwined his fingers with hers and placed a kiss upon her wrist, then held her hand in both of his against his chest. Pink tinted her cheeks once more.
"Sango, I'm so thankful...I thought I'd never see you again!"
"I didn't expect to see you either..." She looked away, still confused by the strange turn of events.
"What happened?"
Her eyes were downcast, as if she were struggling with what to say.
"Sango, I understand if you don't feel like talking about it now. It's not important. You should rest. I'll take care of you."
"No!" She pulled her hand from his grasp and turned away from him, surprising him with her outburst.
"It IS important...and...you shouldn't be here..." It pained her to say it, and the tears were now running down her cheeks.
"But why?" He took her by the shoulders once more. "Sango...," He turned her face toward him and gently began wiping away tears, "I'm not leaving here without you...please, tell me what is going on."
"I...could be a danger to you...something happened to me...and if it is what I think, then I can't be near you, or anyone else...I can't stand the thought of harming you or the others..."
What she had said struck him hard. He didn't like the sound of this one bit, but he knew one thing...there was nothing she could say that would ever cause him to abandon her.
"Sango, I must know everything. Surely there is something that can be done. I beg of you, don't carry this burden alone. Confide in me."
She sighed and nodded. I know I can depend upon Miroku and the others, and besides, they must be aware of this... There's no telling what Naraku may have in store if he is now able to control me...
So, she told him everything.
She told him the tale of her would-be death, how she had fallen but never struck bottom, and how she had been transported to the dark world. She told him of Midoriko's appearance and her explanation for her salvation. And she told him of Midoriko's warnings, and her haunting dream...
He listened intently. When Sango got to the part about being saved by a great evil, he frowned. His heart sank. He felt as though he'd been kicked in the stomach.
"You think Naraku is still alive, Sango?"
She paused. "...I'm not sure, but I believe it's a strong possibility...how else could I have survived? And then...those visions..."
"Well, I would say that if that were the case, I should be grateful to Naraku...as despicable as that sounds...though I'm sure his motivation was entirely selfish..." he said, seeming deep in thought.
"Miroku...your wind-tunnel...!"
"It's gone." he mumbled, and Sango gasped.
"Or at least it was..." As if an afterthought, he stood and turned his back to Sango, then removed the prayer beads, which he'd for some reason been inclined to keep. He held out his hand...
Nothing happened.
"No wind-tunnel!" Sango exclaimed with excitement.
"Yes, but we have been fooled before, Sango..."
"You're right..." She recalled the incident where Naraku had faked his death to lure out Kaguya and had temporarily removed the wind-tunnel.
"Sango, why don't you let me take care of those wounds, and then you can get some rest? This has been a terrible ordeal for you."
"But Miroku..."
"Sango, please try not to worry. I will think on this, and we'll handle it...together. I want you to conserve your strength, though."
"But your life may be in danger!"
"I don't care! I'll take my chances. After all we've been through...you think that I would abandon you? That any of us would?"
"No, but...you don't understand what it would do to me were I to hurt you or the others...or anyone! I can't let that happen. It is my worst fear...to be turned against the ones I love and controlled by Naraku...just like..." She suddenly recalled her brother. "Kohaku!"
"I don't know what has happened to him, Sango...but I promise that I will help you find him... We will find him..." he said, with determination. He reached out and touched Sango's cheek.
She turned and smiled at him. "Thank you."
"Now, let's go get those wounds dressed..." He grinned, and she shot him a cautious look.
"I promise to behave myself!" He held up his hands, still grinning.
She shot him a mock look of disbelief, only briefly, then appeared placated by his promise.
And they walked off in search of medical supplies, side-by-side.
As they walked, Miroku slipped his hand into hers and squeezed. She squeezed back, and at that moment, despite circumstances, all seemed right with the world...
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That night Sango and Miroku rested in her old hut. Her wounds consisted of cuts spread out here and there on her arms, legs, and stomach but were fortunately not too serious. Miroku had kept his word, being more concerned with soothing the pain of his love. He had gently and respectfully dressed her wounds, and she now lay sleeping beside him. He remained awake in a sitting position, watching over her and pondering the situation. When Sango stirred, he looked down at her and began stroking her hair. And when nightmares began to consume her once more and she began to toss and turn in her sleep, he gently pulled her into his lap, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her forehead. He held her there, resting his head against hers throughout the night, and never once allowed his magnetic hands to wander...
