The next few weeks were exhausting for everyone. Without Mrs Hughes, Anna had to take charge of everything along Mr Carson while also doing her duties as a lady's maid to Lady Mary. Dr Clarkson came every day to check on Elsie, examining her as much as she would allow him, the only internal check-up they had managed to do had been a few days after the incident and only because Mrs Crawley had insisted it was necessary for her wellbeing to know if everything was alright everywhere. Mr. Green disappeared that same night but was found near the main train station in York a few hours later; he was arrested and jailed under suspicion that he could run away before the trial took place, and since this news had ended up somehow in the newspapers Lord Gillingham was not willing to have more scandals thrown over his head dirtying his good name. He was a good man, Mary knew that, but he worried too much about what this meant for him than what all this had meant for Elsie herself and the Crawley's.

Mrs Hughes injuries healed relatively quickly, some of them vanished after just a week, the deeper ones didn't start vanishing until some time later leavening soft, thin lines of pink flesh over her pale skin. She would have to live with those scars forever, Richard had warned her it would be difficult, but she would get well soon enough and after a few months or years everything would be a bad memory for everyone. It wasn't what she wanted to hear but she had been grateful for his honesty. In the next few days after he declared her wounds healed Mr. Carson had started to notice that the tray they usually brought up in the mornings would return untouched, maybe small nibbles on the toasts or a hardly touched cup of tea resting on top, Anna coming downstairs with the basket that was next to Elsie's bed to clean it and wash it, tissues and a strong vile smell coming from inside. It didn't occur to him that something might be wrong until he heard Mrs. Patmore mention to Daisy that Mrs Hughes had felt a little warm to the touch when she went to visit her that evening, it was then that he thought of the possibility of an infection of some sort. He didn't sleep a wink that night, wondering how to ask Dr Clarkson, who would come in the next morning as usual, to check her, draw a blood sample, anything to see if she was truly alright or if there could be something more serious behind it all.

The next morning, he waited patiently for him to knock on the door. It only took one before he was standing there to open it, surprised to see Mrs Crawley coming with him though she quickly excused herself and left to see Lady Grantham about some business or other. As per usual Carson followed him up the stairs, fidgeting with his hands. He hadn't been able to think of any way to approach the subject without making himself sound ungrateful for what Richard was doing or too eager to know if she could get up and work soon. He had overthought about this issue for hours on end. His heavy footsteps boomed inside the quiet corridor, building up the courage to just ask him. Before her door he stopped him from approaching it, Dr Clarkson turning to look at him expectantly.

-Anything wrong Carson? You look like you have a lot on your mind.

-I do, doctor, I do. I was wondering… Elsie, that is Mrs Hughes, has been acting… strange, in lack of a better word, for the past few days, and I'm afraid she might not be… healthy and I was wondering if you could do a more thorough check up this morning just to rule out any illness.

-Strange as in…?

-Well, she hardly eats in the mornings, or throughout the day for that matter, and I believe she has been getting sick in the mornings. You can ask Mrs Bates about that, she's the one who attends to her in the mornings.

-It is odd, but in general she has been the perfect picture of health, given the circumstances, of course, but if it will put your mind at ease, I'll examine her completely.

-You don't think it could be anything serious, do you?

-Let's not jump into conclusions Mr Carson. By what you have described it could be several things, some dangerous, others completely harmless… By your description she could even be with child. I can't say unless I see with my own eyes and interpret the results.

With child, what a preposterous idea, she was well past her prime, the both of them had talked about that many times in all these years and had resigned themselves to the fact that old age was a great obstacle for that. He stepped aside letting the doctor go inside, his usual cheery voice filling the gloomy room before silence embraced him again. It was true, he had imagined himself holding a little baby in his arms, a product of him and his precious Elsie, but as time went by it started vanishing from his head until it was nothing more than a hopeless dream. If there was a possibility it could be true, which he doubted greatly, it would mean that man had done unspeakable things to Elsie. Once thing was thinking about what he had seen, imagining what the word rape meant for her, but somehow, he hadn't imagined Green had done… that. It was stupid, it was obvious, maybe he was shielding himself from the fury and pain it would cause him. She couldn't be expecting the child of a man who had taken advantage of her and tried to kill her in the process, the idea was unbearable enough for him, it would be destructive for her, having to carry a child she might never grow to love. He hadn't realised how long it had been until he found himself at the other side of the corridor while Dr Clarkson was leaving the room, closing his bag with one hand, and shutting the door with the other one. Carson was rooted to the spot, Clarkson approaching him adjusting his jacket.

-How is she?

-The bandages are off, and everything looks healthy and regenerating, so that's good. She might have some trouble adjusting to walking again after all this time lying down, but she should get the hang of it once more soon enough. I have noticed a few bruises that seem to be taking their sweet time to heal, so I have left a small bottle of ointment in her vanity so she can use it whenever she needs to.

-That is excellent news indeed. She's getting better. Then everything is perfectly alright with her? Even the issue I mentioned?

-About that. It certainly is unexpected, but not at all bad, medically speaking.

-Then something is wrong with her.

-I wouldn't put it exactly like that… She's with child, Mr Carson. It is a surprise, and not quite was I expecting to find, but it's better than the other prospects I had in mind.

-Are you sure?

-Quite, yes.

-And… does she know?

-Mrs Hughes and I have an agreement, brutal honesty, so I had to. She was shocked, it was the last thing she had ever expected to hear, but she seemed… relieved, as weird as it sounds. She's probably thankful it was her and not Mrs. Bates or some other maid. I really can't understand her, she's a mystery alright. Maybe you'll get lucky Carson, and you'll be able to see through her.

-I usually can Dr Clarkson. Thank you for everything.

-No need to thank me, it's my job. Carson… Charles, I know she means the world to you, as much as Isobel means to me, and I know that if it were her lying in that bed I would stay by her side, so please, stay with Elsie. She's scared and alone, and she will need help, so be a man, don't be like those bastards that leave their wives after they have been raped and have ended up pregnant. It's not her fault, she was trying to protect those she loves and I'm sure that she would do it again if forced into the same situation, without a doubt.

-I would never leave her Richard, she's my world, she's everything I have always wanted and more.

-You are a good man Charles, I'm glad she has you. I'll be leaving now, I have to help Isobel with the inventory at the hospital, she's been bugging me all week.

He squeezed Charles' arm giving him a smile before walking down the corridor leaving him once more standing there like a pine tree, his eyes glued to Elsie's door from the other side of the hallway. This could not be, she could not be… and still Dr Clarkson had assured him it was to be. One step forward, the another, and he found himself walking towards her, the palm of his hand resting on the doorknob, shaking. What would he find at the other side, he couldn't hear a sound and that unnerved him greatly. The last time he had met with silence she had been on the verge of dying. Knocking softly the knob twisted underneath his hand; Elsie was sitting in bed, her hair brushed into a simple braid, short curls framing her face, her body wrapped in her soft purple robe, looking out the window, she didn't even turn around when she heard someone walk pass her and sit on the armchair next to her bed.

-How are you feeling today? Dr Clarkson says you are getting better.

-Is that all? – if she looked at him would she cry? She was perhaps too shocked to understand Richard's words to their full extend, or maybe she just knew too well, the only thing she knew for certain was that if she looked at Charles she would break down, and she was too tired for that.

-No. I know Elsie.

-Great, then maybe you'll help me decide what's better: what would you prefer they called it, a murderer, or a rapist? Because that is what other children and parents will call it.

-Don't say that, I'm just as shocked as you are, but it's not the child's fault, everyone knows that. No one is going to call you or the baby any names, they know better.

-Really? I'm going to become a mother out of wedlock, to a child whose father tried to kill me. I hardly call that nothing to be worried about. You don't see it as I do, but this is… this is… Dammit Charles, this is a nightmare.

-Please Elsie, don't say that. We've waited our entire lives for a baby.

-It's the bloody truth Charles! I can't help but feel like this and it's too late to run away from it. Neither of us can.

-No, we can't, but we can try and make the best of it. I know that together we can do this, it's not as if I'm not used to being woken up in the middle of the night.

-What do you mean?

-What do you think? We are going to have this baby and I'm going to be its father.

-But… this is not something to take lightly Charles. You don't have to do this, it's not yours and you have no real reason to remain with me. I haven't even accepted your proposal yet.

-I promised you I would stay by your side, and I'm not going to back away now. I might not have made it with you, but I'm more its father than that beast will ever be, and I love its mother more than anyone in the universe. And I did tell you you could take as long as you wanted to give me an answer, I don't want to pressure you in any way.

-Things could be some much easier if this baby were yours. I really wish it were, Charles.

-I know Elsie, but we can't change what has happened as much we would like to.

-I hate this. Why did this have to happen? I'm old, I shouldn't be pregnant! Why couldn't it have been something else? What is the family going to think? God, I can't do this, I really can't.

-I think you should rest, maybe later on you'll see things in a better light.

-Rest?! Are you really asking me to do that? This is not going to change by resting Charles! I have a baby inside me that isn't going to vanish just by resting! – her eyes burned with rage, her hands gesturing and pointing at her belly in an attempt to show him how grave the situation was.

-Elsie, you perfectly know what I meant, there's no need for that. Of course, nothing is going to change, but it might make you feel better.

-Don't patronize me, Charles. God, I really can't stand you when you do that. Do you have blood in your veins or is it milk?! Doesn't it bother you? Doesn't it make you feel like you could burst out of pure rage?! Do you feel anything at all, Charles, ANYTHING?!

-That will be enough! – his voice was loud and severe inside the little room, his face red with anger as he stood up from the armchair to face her from the foot of the bed, covering the window with his broad frame. - What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that you should've never left Scotland? That I don't feel fury about this all?! That I don't care what he did?! Tell me, what do you want?! Maybe you would prefer me to say that you should marry that pester of a man, Mr Burns, just to get you of my back?

-Don't bring Joe into this.

-Let's be realistic Elsie, isn't that what you want? He would make a great husband for a discarded woman, right? You can't run away from the truth.

-Don't talk to me like that!

-Then what do you want me to tell you?! That you are a heartless woman, and I was stupid enough to fall in love with you?! – if he had shot her right through her heart, it would have hurt less. His face was red with fury and his breathing laboured as he watched her, regret in his eyes as soon as he let the words flow through his lips, but his anger was far too great to really see the mistake he had made. Her throat felt tight, as if she was trying to speak while a lump was stuck inside it, teras threatening to form in her eyes.

-Leave… Mr. Carson.

-I haven't finished.

-Yes, you have! Leave at once or I will call for his Lordship.

-You wouldn't dare.

-Are you willing to take that risk? – she held his gaze for a few seconds before he averted his eyes, heading towards the door.

-Fine. This is what you have chosen, remember I didn't walk away, you made do it. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a person who's willing to give up everything and still make the worst mistake of all. You have stopped believing in yourself, and I can't help you with that Mrs Hughes. You are on your own. Oh, you can keep the ring, is not as if this was ever going to happen anyway.

He was angry, so angry he slammed the door shut, the walls shaking and the sound echoing throughout the house, fury clouding his mind. How could she be so insufferable when he was only trying to help, she had stopped fighting, she had given up on them, on what they could be. Her sobs reached him, but he couldn't find it in him to care if he had hurt her or not, couldn't she see how much she had hurt him, how much his heart was breaking? He had to let her go, not by choice, and it was eating him alive, he wanted to be there, but obviously she didn't. He found his fist slammed onto the wall opposite to her bedroom, pain shooting through his knuckles. He was never aggressive, he had never punched anyone, fought, he was a gentleman, well sort of, but in this case, he was hurting too much to care what he did.

-Carson? – Cora stood a few feet away wary of what could be troubling the stern, stoic butler, her hands clasped together in front of her as he moved away from the wall trying to put himself together for her Ladyship. She carried on talking, her voice soft and quiet, a balm for his aching soul. – Are you alright? Is everything okey?

-I am My Lady, there's just been a turn of events that… You shouldn't worry about it, is not as if anyone can do anything.

-I don't understand what you mean. What's happened?

-I don't think Mrs Hughes would take it kindly if I spoke about it with anyone at the moment. It's far too painful for her and I'm sure that our already damaged relationship wouldn't recover if I shared the news My Lady.

-But it has obviously upset you. Carson, we've been friends for a long time, and if something is wrong with our Mrs Hughes it's best if we know it so we can all help.

-That's the problem My Lady, she refuses to see that there might be a positive outcome out of this entire situation. She refuses help and I can't do anything if she doesn't want me there to help them both. Trust me My Lady, I'm the first one who would be beside her, but she is being so irrational, and it's not as if it's my fault she's with child, I was only trying to-

-What did you just say? – if he had thrown a bucket of freezing water over her head, she wouldn't have been as surprised as she was at the moment, staring dumbfounded at his face as if he had revealed the answer to the meaning of life. Internally he slapped himself for having spoken out of turn, but he was still angry, and it had slipped, he hadn't meant to say anything, he had hoped he would be able to share some of his hurt with her before returning to his duties, but much to his dismay he was an emotional man, and his feelings had got the best of him once more.

-I… She's with child My Lady.

-Oh my God! Has Dr Clarkson seen her? Did she tell you?

-He has seen her; he was the one who shared the news with me.

-And what are you going to do, Carson?

-I don't understand what you mean My Lady? It's not my child, and clearly, she doesn't want me around so why should I worry about something I can't fix. She's not my wife and she made it crystal clear that she doesn't wish to become it, otherwise why would she have thrown me out? I have wasted enough of your precious time My Lady; I'll be returning to my duties.

He bowed his head slightly before walking down the hall leaving her standing there in complete shock. He felt so incredibly stupid, empty, angry, a turmoil of emotions fought for control in his head, but deep inside he knew the moment he calmed down he would regret every single thing he had said. In a way he already did, but he was too proud to go back in there and apologise, the both of them needed time to clear their heads. Anna crossed his path up the stairs, but he was so deep in thought he didn't register her good morning, a tray in her hands with some toast and tea, what they had noticed she would sometimes have. Reaching the top of the stairs she found Lady Cora standing in the middle of corridor, shock evident in her expression.

-Is everything alright, My Lady? Do you want me to call the doctor?

-What? Oh no Mrs Bates, don't trouble yourself, I'm quite alright.

-Then I'll be taking this to Mrs Hughes. I do hope she eats this morning; she needs the strength.

-She certainly does. Mrs Bates, can you keep a secret?

-Of course, My Lady. Is something troubling you?

-You see, it appears that our Mrs Hughes has found herself in a bit of a pickle. Carson just told me that she's going to have a baby.

-That can't be true. She can't… I didn't… - the tray was shaking as Anna's body began to tremble, memories sneaking up on her, the fear and terror she felt back then, how Elsie had sworn she would be by her side if it ever came to that. Now her worst nightmare had come true, but not in her body, in the body of someone else who she considered almost like a mother. Mr Green had doomed her into a life of shame, forever to be reminded of her fruitless fight, her near death experience. – She must be terrified.

-I don't doubt it, Mrs. Bates. This is situation is getting the best of all of us. Here, hand me the tray and I'll have a little chat with Mrs Hughes. From mother to mother.

-Good luck My Lady. – she handed her the tray careful not to drop it or make the teapot tip over and fall. Once secure in her hands she walked towards Elsie's room, Anna helping her with the door before leaving the two women to chat. It didn't go unnoticed by Cora how Elsie was dabbing the corner of her eyes with the sleeve of her robe, putting on a brave smile to greet her with.

-Good morning My Lady, is there anything I can help you with?

-No, I just thought I might bring you this and, oh, maybe have a chat. Everyone has been rather gloomy since… Nevermind. Isobel and I had a conversation this morning while Dr Clarkson was up here that was most interesting. She thinks we could open up a maternity ward at the hospital. Obviously, I said I would think about it, but she seemed rather kin of it happening sooner rather than later, and I must admit that it would be a great addition, she would get to help so many woman. I would like your opinion on this.

-My opinion? I… I don't think I have the right to say anything on the matter, it is your choice in the end My Lady.

-Oh, but its always good to have more ideas to take on account. Please Mrs Hughes, be honest, what do you think?

-Well… I think is a very good idea. Mrs Crawley has proven capable many times in the past few years, and her article did get published in the up most important scientific magazine in the world. Any mother who ended up in her caring hands would be most lucky.

-Then if you were to become a mother, you would be very glad indeed if there was a maternity ward at the hospital? – the twinkle in her eyes gave her away even if her face remained emotionless, waiting for her response.

-Who told you?

-Um… Carson. He didn't mean to, he was so upset, and it just slipped.

-Everyone will know soon then. What am I going to do? I can't do this My Lady, I just can't. I'm not worried about what they will say about me, but what will they think of the child? I couldn't possibly doom them to a life of insults and disdain, they don't deserve it.

-I believe Carson thinks the same.

-He doesn't care and it's my fault. I threw him out, I was so caught up in my own head I didn't give him a chance. He wanted to be its father and I pushed him away.

-I'm sure it wasn't just you; he said a few things to me that were very unlike him. He loves you dearly, I know this.

-He withdrew his proposal, and I don't blame him. Maybe I am heartless, no woman in their right mind would wish for her baby to vanish and still I wonder… This is not how it was supposed to be, we should have been celebrating the fact that I'm with child, it should have been his, it could have been, and I was just so rude. Do you think he will ever forgive me?

-You are both on the same page, you just misread what the other was saying. Give him some time and soon enough you'll see that he'll come back to you. Robert and I have had awful arguments, but in the end, we need each other as much as the air we breathe.

-What if he doesn't come back? I've given him plenty of reason not to.

-He will, they always do. His love for you was strong enough to throw caution to the wind and tell you that he would be its father. Do you know of any men who would do that? Apart from Clarkson and Robert and Tom, of course. Carson is good man, and once he calms down, he'll see the error of his ways and will return, I have no doubts. Try and eat some of this and maybe rest a bit, there's two of you now.

-My Lady. – Cora had left the tray over her nightstand and was heading out the door when Elsie's voice made her turn around. She was looking down at her hands, fidgeting with her sleeves in an effort to calm her nerves. – Thank you, for everything.

-A baby is always a blessing if you want it to be. You have a choice Mrs Hughes: you can give them the best life you can think of or let your own nightmares shadow who they could be. Be better than him, I know you can.

Cora always seemed to have the right words for everyone, she knew how it felt to lose over and over again, but somehow, she always smiled up to the sky. She shut the door leaving Elsie alone with her thoughts. It was a sunny day, the warmth it brought through her window bathed her like a wave; even if it was closed, she could hear the birds singing, tunes of the beginning of spring. This had always been their dream, a little baby cuddled in Charles' big hands, both sitting on their bed, mesmerized, his eyes a shade of bright blue and his hair dark brown, just like his dad, like his real father. She looked over to the tray, but food didn't sound very appealing at the moment, so she just laid back down her head resting against her pillow watching the ceiling. Soon enough she fell into a dreamless sleep. Cora watched from a window Isobel and Richard walking hand in hand back to the village, Carson closing the door to return to his duties. Stepping out of the contiguous room she approached him. He looked tired, she hadn't noticed how exhausted he was until now that the sun was coming through the windows reflecting on his skin.

-Carson, may I talk with you for a minute?

-Of course, My Lady.

-I might be overstepping, but I took the liberty of having chat with Mrs Hughes about this business.

-There's nothing to discuss My Lady. She has the final word, and she's already said it.

-But that's just it, she hasn't. She's scared, worried, lonely… She can't help but feel as if she might be forcing herself on you; she really has said lovely words about you and what a gentleman you are. You offered to be a father when she didn't ask you to. Perhaps you both should talk, clear things up. She loves you, but her entire world has just crumbled right in front of her, and I know you are both tired, but you can't end everything because of an argument. She needs you, and if you think that she's trying to back away from you, she's not doing it on purpose. She doesn't know what she wants or might not want, but she's very sorry about whatever happened.

-Perhaps you are right, My Lady, as usual. We both said nasty things in the heat of the moment that were uncalled for. I knew I was hurting her but I still spoke them.

-Just let her adjust to the idea of the three of you as a family, alright? She still has to fully understand that there's a little life inside of her now and it won't be easy but I'm sure that you'll get through this.

-Thank you, My Lady, you are so very kind.

-You are my friends, and I can't stand to see unhappy people, not when it can be remedied. Also, I have been giving it some thought, and since there's a little one on the way, you could get married in the next few weeks, before she starts showing. It might safe her from even more scandals and help ease some of her worries about the future of the child.

-We would have to talk about it, wait until she's feeling well enough to go to the register's office.

-Inform me of the final decision once you've decided what you wish to do.

He loved Elsie with every single fibber of his being, he was willing to do anything for her, and even now he knew he would do anything for her child. He felt stupid, his behaviour had been appalling, heart-breaking but hers hadn't been much better, he was sure she felt just as he did. He debated whether to wait for a bit longer or to just go upstairs and clear everything up once and for all. She might want to rest, or maybe she won't want to see him, but his legs were already taking him upstairs. He found himself standing right in front of her door like a young man who was waiting to see his love through the window of her room smiling down at him. The palm of his hand pushed the door open, it hadn't quite closed when her Ladyship had left, Carson observing before he walked in. She was fast asleep, the sun beaming down on her skin, her cheeks a beautiful healthy shade of pink and her auburn curls spread all over her pillow, no worries on her face as she laid there, undisturbed. Had he ever seen her so calm and relaxed? He lowered himself onto the armchair, his fingers brushing her hand.

-I'm sorry. I know is not enough, but it's the only things I've got. I should have controlled myself, my temper, I really am sorry, I would never hurt you, and yet I've done it. I wish I knew how to lift this burden from your shoulders, to take the pain away. I'll do anything you ask me to, and I'm going to try and be the best father for this baby… our baby. I can promise you that.

No one saw the butler for the rest of the morning, no one knew where he was or what he was doing. Luncheon was bound to be a disaster if he was not around to check on everything, but the last person to see him had been her Ladyship, and that had been in the entrance hall many hours ago. It was an unspoken fear everyone shared unanimously, but maybe he had left Downton. Mrs. Patmore and Daisy searched everywhere for him, the wine cellar, the linen room, guests' rooms, stables… but found nothing, so against their better judgment they decided to tell Mrs. Hughes. It would break her heart, but if they waited, they might never get to tell her before she found out by an uncareful maid or the family themselves. Spare her more pain if they could.

-You keep quiet girl, let me tell her.

-I'll wait outside then Mrs Patmore.

-Yes, that might be best. Anna will have to tell them Lordships though. - She knocked lightly not really ready to tell her the bad news, but he found Elsie lying in bed with Mr. Carson's hand holding onto hers his head resting close while he was sitting on the armchair, both fast asleep. She was relieved, to say less, closing the door before she had even set foot in the room. -I think we've found him, Daisy.

-Oh good. Should we go downstairs and tell everyone to stop looking?

-Yes. We have a service to provide with or without butler. Come on Daisy, hurry up!

They were flying in the kitchen, Barrow managing somehow to have everyone ready and set to serve lunch in less than just ten minutes, screams had been involved, but in the end, it had all been for the greater good. When Cora had seen Barrow in Carson's usual place a feeling of dread settled deep in her stomach. Maybe she had indeed overstepped, perhaps they had decided to end everything for real, if it was her fault, she would never forgive herself. In the middle of the service, she excused herself and went downstairs for a minute, finding Beryl beating some eggs in a bowl. Everyone stood still as soon as they noticed her, but she quickly waved her hand dismissing them.

-Any news Mrs. Patmore? At this point even the worst of news would be good news.

-No need to worry My Lady, Daisy and I have found him.

-Really? Oh Mrs Patmore, you are wonderful, where is he?

-In Mrs. Hughes' room, we thought better not to disturb them. He'll already feel awful enough later on during dinner, and he did seem very calm.

-Well, as long as he's talking with Mrs Hughes there's really nothing to worry, it'll do Barrow good to work a bit more.

-Oh, but they weren't speaking My Lady. They were fast asleep, and I just didn't have the heart to wake 'hem up. Everyone is exhausted, and there are so many things Mrs Bates doesn't know how to handle yet, so Mr Carson has been doing them as well.

-He's been doing his work and Mrs Hughes'?

-Yes. He knows her well enough to do things her way, and he really didn't mind. He was really scared about… you know, and it comforts him being around her things when he can't be with her. He's taken to carrying her watch in his inner pocket. It hasn't worked in ages, but he still keeps it.

-Thank you, Mrs Patmore, you are an angel. I'll make sure he gets enough rest from now on, and I'll have Anna attend to all the housekeeping tasks while Baxter takes care of Lady Mary. Get some of the weight of Carson's shoulders. I won't keep you from those eggs no more, thank you again, honest, you must be an excellent friend to them.

Mrs. Hughes heard the clicking noise of the door closing, voices on the other side, but she was too asleep to understand a word. The sun warmed her legs through the blanket, a soft pressure in her hand, heat spreading evenly through her palm up her wrist towards her arm. Charles' form came into vision as her eyes focused, his head resting on the side of the armchair, his hand wrapped around hers. It felt nice, him holding her like this felt like heaven, their finger intertwined just enough for her to notice he had been reluctant, he had doubted whether she would want it or not.

-Charles. – She called quietly but there was no reacting, he remained snoring softly in cloud nine. She caught herself smiling, watching his tired wrinkles, there seemed to be a few more she had never seen before, his chest rising and falling in a beautiful rhythm. Elsie realised then that she never wanted to stop holding his hand, her palm pressing against his as she finally allowed herself to interlace her fingers with his. – Charles.

-Hm…- in an instant his eyes shot open, a worried veil over them. She was alright, she was looking at him with those blue eyes, holding his gaze so softly allowing him to come to his senses. – Elsie…

-Shouldn't you be serving lunch?

-Lunch? What… Oh Lord! It's so late! His Lordship is going to have my head.

-You can tell him I was not feeling very well.

-Dr Clarkson did say that he wanted someone with you all the time, but I couldn't possibly lie to him. I should head downstairs and apologise profusely for having missed lunch.

-I hardly thing he's going to have "your head" as you so eloquently have put it. You've never been late to a service since… never, and that's saying some time. Just tell him that I needed you, he'll understand.

-But you don't.

-I always need you, Charles. – he observed her, a squeeze in his hand making look down. She was allowing him to touch her, it had taken her weeks, but she was once more allowing him in her personal space. – I said horrid things this morning, but…

-No buts, Elsie. It was the both of us. I should have thought about what was going on in that pretty little head of yours, but I got carried away by the idea of having a child. I'm sorry about the things I said about Mr. Burns, I shouldn't have brought him up at all, but I was scared that you were pushing me away because you didn't want us, together. It's been hard since the incident, and you are the first one who's entitled to say or do whatever you want but finding out you were with child… I was so angry at myself for not having been there to protect you that I felt as if I was paying the price for not having waited for you. But then I thought that creating a life doesn't make you a father, so I said to myself that although that monster gave you this baby, he's not entitled to anything from you or them. I love you and I know that we can do this, that we can be good parents to a good child.

-I'm sorry, so sorry. I'm happy this didn't happen to Anna, but I'm so scared. I'm old and I don't know how to handle this. It's all just too much and I just feel as if everything is going to crumble and turn into dust in my own hands.

-Then let me hold them, and help you feel steady. You are not alone; you don't have to be alone.

-You would be willing to be the father of a child that's not yours? Have you really thought about this Charles? Is not something like choosing a wine or what shoes to wear today.

-Anything that you create, is mine to love and cherish, and this baby is yours and yours only, so I don't have to think about anything. We have a little life to bring into this world and make it a better place.

-We are going to be parents?

-We are going to be parents.

Stories her mother had told her always spoke of happy endings, happily ever afters with couples riding into the horizon forever and always; they had excited her when she had been little making her dream about a white horse with the love of her life riding into an eternal sea of love. If Elsie could go back in time and speak to her younger self now, she would be glad to say that she had found the right person to ride into the horizon with, even if no horses had been involved in her own happily ever after. He looked reluctant, still giving her enough space for her to chose what she wanted, but she had everything very clear in her mind. Grabbing his jacket, she pulled herself into a sitting position, bringing him close enough to her that he could see spots in her irises. His smell was so different from Green's, a soft scent of old wood and wine with perhaps a hint of something sweet, maybe it was chocolate, she really didn't know, but couldn't quite find in her to find out as he pulled him even closer, her lips landing softly over his. He was just so different from him, so caring, so loving, he didn't press himself onto her, he didn't touch her, he wasn't even breathing, so caught up in the moment. It was short and nothing that could make fireworks explode, but for them it was the most wonderful thing in the history of wonderful things, a step towards recovery.

-I've done better.

-I know, but this one has been the best, you can't compare it to any other.

-I still have something to tell you.

-What?

-Yes.

-Yes?

-Yes, I will marry you.

-Oh Elsie, not even a visit from the king could make as happy as you've just made me. I'll make you the happiest woman on the phase of this Earth, and that is not a promise, is a fact.

-I already am.

-Her Ladyship thought that we could tie the knot in the next few weeks if you feel up to going to the register's office.

-I think I could manage in a few days or a week.

-Good, just tell me when you are ready, and I'll make the appointment.

-I love so much.

-I love you too. I should start heading downstairs and see how much of a disaster everything has been.

-Don't be too harsh on them Mr Carson, they've had to deal with this in such short notice.

-I was enjoying the company of the future Mrs Carson too much. I'll see you in the evening if I can spare a few minutes.

There were no more kisses, just a sweet squeeze of their hands before he headed for the door. The atmosphere had changed dramatically, not a single bad thought floating around her, just love and happiness. Resting on the nightstand was the little black box, and although it should have been Charles the one who should have put it on her finger, she was not about to make a fuss about such a simple thing. The ring fitted perfectly, just as if it had been meant to be there since always. It would take time, but soon she would find it in her to start thinking about it as Charles' baby. Green was not in her life anymore, and if the family had any say in this matter, he would never ever be in anyone else's. Her hand rested on her belly feeling the warmth of her own body wondering if the baby was alright in there, safe and happy or if they might be feeling lonely.

-Hello. I… I've never done this, I feel quite foolish actually, but… Oh, I don't know… You must be so small, maybe no bigger than a pea, it's funny to think that something so tiny will ever become a person. I can't… I… I'm sorry I ever thought of… getting rid of you. I could, and I know that many girls in the village would help me find the right person, even Dr Clarkson could do it, but I don't want to. I can barely understand how big of a change you are going to, but I know I love you already. I have a choice, her Ladyship said it, I could be your mom and make you a good person or let him to win over us, and I'm not going to allow it. You are my baby, mine and Charles' and no one else will ever change my mind. I'll fight heaven and hell to protect you if it ever comes to that, because you are a part of me, I never thought, I never imagined I would ever get to have. I don't know you and still I love you so much I would give my life for you. We'll try our best, Charles and I, Lord knows how long we've waited for you, how much he already loves you. We both love you.