-Charles, I've told you a hundred times. It's normal for babies to lose weight in the first week of being out of the womb. Don't worry. They are eating regularly and perfectly, so don't worry. Besides, they are almost back at their birth weight.
-I keep thinking that they are not big enough.
-That's because you are a big man, and you tend to think that everyone is smaller than you. And we are, but babies are always small. Hand me the clean nappy.
Jane laid in bed, moving her arms and looking around, making little noises. Richard on the other hand slept peacefully in his crib. Elsie's belly wasn't as big as before, it was going back to its normal shape. After almost a week she was able to walk around the house, but not much more.
-How many times do babies poop?
-Normally five or more a day.
-Do you count them?
-I keep track of everything. Since the first time they ate, pooped, cried, slept… I keep track of every single thing, in case something changes.
-They don't cry much.
-No, they sleep most of the time, and enjoy it while you can. Who knows when they will start crying for hours and hours.
-I hope they don't.
-Well at least you can sleep all night long. I have to wake up every few hours to feed them. I'm the one who's suffering all this, and you don't stop complaining. Hand me the body suite, I don't want her to get cold.
Carefully she dressed Jane and swaddled her. For some reason Richard and Jane loved to sleep in small places like her arms or Charles', and they loved to sleep wrapped in a swaddle. She laid down against the pillows in the bed and cradled Jane in her arms. She was tired, and wanted to sleep a bit.
-Elsie, why don't you take a nap? I can keep an eye on Jane; I don't want to move her from your arms until she's asleep.
-No need for you to say it twice.
Charles placed a blanket over Elsie's legs as she closed her eyes. Jane was also falling asleep. The three of them were sleeping, so Charles closed the door quietly and went downstairs. Lady Mary, Lady Edith, Lady Cora and Lord Grantham were sitting in the living room.
-Something wrong Mr. Carson?
-Elsie is just tired, she wanted to sleep.
-Do the little ones cry a lot and keep you awake at night?
-No, but Elsie has to wake up every few hours to feed the little beans. She's coping and still getting used to this. We both are.
-If you find it difficult and you need help, tell us. We wouldn't mind coming and giving you a hand.
-Charles.
Elsie was standing in front of the door, with baby Jane in her arms, sleeping. She was in her nightgown and her hair was down, in a low ponytail.
-What are you doing up?
-Something's wrong.
-What do you mean something's wrong?
He walked over to her and looked at Jane. She looked fine.
-Something's wrong with Richard.
-What?
-He's… -tears were running down her cheeks. – He's not breathing.
-What?!
Charles run upstairs and took Richard out of the crib. Elsie couldn't move and she felt a bit light headed. Lady Mary stood up and took Jane in her arms, without waking her, and Lady Cora and Lady Edith took hold of Elsie and helped her sit on a chair. Elsie was crying so much she was finding it hard to breath.
-Mrs. Hughes, breathe. Come on. Robert call Dr. Clarkson. Now.
After a few minutes Charles came downstairs with Richard in his arms wearing just his nappy.
-He's alright now Elsie. He's breathing again. - Elsie was crying as she took her son in her arms and held him tight against her chest. – I think we better call the doctor.
-Lord… Lord Grantham has… has already called him.
-He's fine now Elsie, come on. Stop crying love.
He kneeled in front of her and breathed with her until she stopped crying and then dried her tears with a handkerchief. Elsie looked down at her son to find him looking up at her, moving his arms and legs, kicking her stomach and her breasts.
-It's probably nothing. – Lady Mary handed Jane to Charles. She didn't even flinch, she kept on sleeping.
-That's easy for you to say. Your son didn't stop breathing suddenly.
-Elsie, calm down. Richard is alright, kicking and breathing.
-But what if it happens again and he dies in my arms.
-Elsie, he won't. Clam down.
-I'm such a horrible mother. – Elsie had tears in her eyes again. – I try to pay attention to them all the time and I close my eyes for a few minutes and my son stops breathing. What if I'm doing everything wrong? What if slowly I'm killing my children because I don't know what to do and I don't know that I'm doing everything wrong?
-Elsie stop that. You are a wonderful mother, and your children, our children will grow up healthy and strong.
-Do you really mean it? – She looked down at Richard ho was falling asleep again.
-I know it. Now calm down, relax, and rest. If Lady Mary takes Jane I will bring the crib downstairs as well as a few pillows.
Mary took the baby from his arms and sat next to Elsie as he run upstairs. Elsie couldn't take her eyes from Richard, something telling her that if she looked away he would stop breathing again. Suddenly Dr. Clarkson entered the living room just as Charles came downstairs with the crib and the pillows.
-Good evening. Lord Grantham told me what happened. May examine the little one?
Elsie looked at him and nodded. Dr. Clarkson took him and placed him on the couch. After examining him and listening to his breathing he gave him back to Elsie.
-Both your babies are premature. That means they were born before 37 weeks. That makes them more vulnerable to infections, illnesses, breathing problems and even heart problems. But don't get scared, Jane is as healthy as full term baby; the problem with Richard is called sleep apnea. That means that when he's sleep his brain fails to signal the muscles to breath, and he stops breathing for 15 to 20 seconds or more. It's even possible that he could turn blue. It will pass, don't worry, you will have to pay a little more attention to him, and if he stops breathing just encourage him to breathe again. Shake him lightly, massage his tummy and he will breathe again.
-So is nothing serious?
-Is not serious Mrs. Hughes because you called. If you hadn't called, if you hadn't seen him, it would have been very serious, even fatal. Now, don't worry, just rest.
-Didn't I tell you Elsie?
Charles left the crib on the floor in front of her and took the pillows out of it and placed them behind her back. He had brought the baby blanket to cover Richard with.
-Thank you Dr. Clarkson. If something happens we will call.
-No need to thank me, it's my job. –He smiled at them and left.
-The little beans are okay, so there's no need for you to stay awake. You are really tired, sleep.
-I don't… what if…
-I'm here. I'm here. You sleep.
Elsie nodded and rested her head on the pillows, closing her eyes. Charles turned around, placed Jane on the crib and showed Lord Grantham, Lady Cora and their daughters out of the house, closing the door quietly. He walked back to the living room and sat next to Elsie, looking down at Richard, who was breathing peacefully.
