The bench sat innocently in front of the teen, becoming a symbol that taunted him.
"Back here?" Axel took a seat while Roxas continued to stare, he'd followed the teen silently all around town and it seemed now that the angry blond had mellowed out. Apparently not enough to answer him. "Come on Rox," it was Axel's turn to give him another pep talk, "Are you just going to come here every time something stresses you out? Thought you were Mr. Tough Guy?" He didn't wait to entertain the quizzical look he received, "You walk around with your fists clenched and your head down, and I saw the way you looked at that guy the other night, like you wanted to knock him on his ass. Okay," he loomed over Roxas, "It's hard to go completely out of your circle, but like Riku said... You're mad at your dad for never being there, for whatever fucking reason, but this is your chance."
Axel leaned to look him in the face, sympathy oozing from his own tough persona, "Now's your chance for answers, to understand first hand what happened and what will happen... Cloud could have been a complete asshole then, but a saint now... or maybe he hasn't changed... but you know," the red head took a little too deep of a breath, pausing as if he himself was trying not to fall apart. "He might be a better option than Zack...
"We've been here before," he looked up and down the street, "And I mean... I'd prefer if we didn't come back... It's fun having you around..." There was more than just sincerity in his voice, but Roxas could take notes and save things for later too.
Roxas instead back peddled the conversation, "At least with Zack I know he's an asshole, and I know how to act."
"Now, but not when you were eight?"
Again, Roxas was feeling like he was being poked and prodded, "Don't read into what isn't there." He'd only had to think the snowboarding event over once in his mind to know that Zack wasn't as innocent as he was playing. That wasn't the question, the question was why.
"Alright, fine, but start shit over with a clean slate here?" There was no quick response, "I can supply more alcohol," he sang through his smile, the blond rolling his eyes but letting a laugh escape. "I'll walk you back."
Roxas stayed awake most of the night again, alone in 'his' room. Would it really hurt him to give Cloud a chance, was it too late to do that? Was his 'self-sabotage' produced too early in this new relationship? Was it even a sacrifice, or a harmless quirk? There were too many questions and no healthy mind in sight to answer them, but none of that was new. All of the questions that plagued his mind were a lot better than the alternative, once that notion crossed his mind he couldn't escape it.
His mother would wake up... but the more days that went by- and Zack's little input- made it seem less like a possibility and more like an unrealistic dream. Physically shaking the thought out of his head was the only cure, come morning he would talk to Cloud like an admiring teenage son, like Sora, and he'd get answers. The right way.
Roxas rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, looking around the dinning room table, at the parents that weren't his. Sora still off to Riku's probably sleeping in like a normal human
"Late night Roxas?" Tifa broke the silence after a sip.
"Yeah..." He was fighting to not say something sarcastic, "I had a question..." looking to the older blond, he dodged having to address Cloud directly. Said man raised an eyebrow, "Was wondering... ya know... if you were free this weekend?" The question was as painful to watch as it was for Roxas to ask.
Cloud freed his hands, directing almost all his attention to Roxas, a small sliver reserved to gauge Tifa's response. "Um... actually I'm busy," His wife shot him a glare, "But," he quickly bit out, "You can come with me?" When her glare softened he kept the ball rolling, "I'm going to the gym, if you'd like you can join me."
"Yeah, yeah, okay," his answer sounded more like he was trying to convince himself that it was something he genuinely wanted.
"Skipping school Rox?" A familiar redhead opened his door after a brief knock, not waiting for an answer.
"No," he covered his face again, not bothering to sit up. "I'm sick, see?"
"You look it. All pale and-"
Roxas threw his pillow at him, uncovering his face and encouraging him to sit up, still not making eye contact with Axel. "I talked to Cloud this morning, like you said," he mocked.
"How'd it go?" he rushed to sit on the edge of Sora's bed.
"He told me he was busy, then changed it to say I could go with him, to the gym or whatever" Roxas' shrugged, there weren't any juicy details to relay like it seemed he wanted.
"Ah, yeah, well, I mean, if you're going to go with anyone Cloud is a good choice. He's always fit, not what I mean, but look," He scooted closer to Roxas like he didn't want anyone to over hear. "Riku told me about one time he saw Cloud get in a fight, he didn't start it or whatever," he waved himself to cut to the chase, "Guess he was like a badass and wiped the other guy out quick as shit. Never really cared for more details, but you could get a first hand glimpse at Cloud, see for yourself." The room faded to silence, "He might be a person to get good training from."
All he received from the younger was a quick glare before blue eyes darted to look across the room. "I know how to handle myself. So what's your excuse for skipping school?"
"Have you ever been to a gym before?" It was unusual to see Cloud in a beater, very usual for the baggy pants though. "Gym class doesn't count," he added, changing the younger ones answer. "I like to come here, get some training in."
"Training for what?"
"It never hurts to be prepared... it's something I find comfort in." He looked Roxas over, "Is there anything else you'll put on? Start with taking the hoodie off, anything?"
"Don't worry too hard, I'll be fine." The blow wasn't meant to be there, subtle as it was Cloud still felt it.
"Alright," he lead his mini me to an area where the floor was covered with mats, "Come on, hit me."
"What? You're going to hit me?" Roxas looked around, was no one suspicious of a grown man asking a teen to hit him? Was he a masochist?
"I'm not going to hit you," he held his hand out to encourage him to come closer, "Just give me a shot, I know you have to have some anger in yourself towards me."
Of course Roxas did, but Cloud was asking him to just hit him? Without being provoked? "Um... no..."
Cloud wanted to argue, but after some visible steam he changed his tactic. "Alright, walk towards me, like you're going to walk through me."
That sounded more do-able. Roxas took his hands out of his pockets and walked towards Cloud. The closer he became, the more his pace slowed. And then hands were on his chest. Shoving him backwards. His hands flew up to divide the hands. Pushing the hands out to either side of him.
Cloud was stepping away from Roxas, his hands frozen in front of him while his face seemed sympatric. "Good, now I'm going to try and... walk through you." It sounded more like a question, but Roxas got ready.
There was no hesitation. Cloud stalked full force. Looming over the teen. Roxas' shoved as hard as he could. Propelling his weight from one leg to the other. He pushed until Cloud was forced to take a step back. Hair standing on the back of Roxas' neck. The look the older blond was giving him, was sparking something inside Roxas. There was no time for words. Cloud did it again. Not giving Roxas a chance to adjust. Panic was setting in this time. Roxas shoved like he had before. This time was less of a kind brush, and more like a violent shove. Cloud stumbled back. He took a breath ready to do it again.
Cloud was in Roxas' face. Over and over again. There was no way he was backing up like before. Every time Roxas could get a breath in, Cloud was there again. His shoves were feeling less and less effective. Cloud kept coming at him. Roxas changed his hands. Shoving wasn't working anymore. He needed to do more or Cloud was going to walk through him. He shoved with his whole body again. But it didn't do anything. Cloud was right there again.
Pale flesh was a line against black fabric. Cloud stalked towards Roxas. This time Roxas grabbed him. Grabbing the holes in the beater. Redirecting Cloud. Pulling him and then pushing him down to the ground. Except it didn't work. Cloud laced his arms between Roxas'. Wrapping his arm around Roxas' shoulder. Roxas was rolled onto the ground. Cloud hit too. But Cloud was already on his feet. Standing over Roxas. His hand rose above Roxas, but Roxas quickly curled up. Spine exposed to Cloud. His knees up to his chest and his arms covering his face.
No hit came.
Roxas slowly opened his eyes, his face still covered by his arms. Hesitantly, he perked his head out from behind his arms, looking behind him to find Cloud. The man was still standing over him, his hand still outstretched to help Roxas off the ground. But here the teen was curled up like he was being attacked.
The temperature of the room seemed to be slowly rising, and even though the hoodie seemed extra thick, Roxas kept it on. There was sweat dripping from his forehead, but Roxas ignored it, because compared to Cloud, he might as well have just been dunked in a pool. They continued going back and forth. Cloud having Roxas attack first. The Father would lecture the proper way to attack, correcting little things, and once Cloud had nothing more to say, they would switch rolls.
One last time, Cloud attacked. Roxas guided his fist to the side. It narrowly missed his face. Actual effort behind the blow. This time around, Roxas let his body fall off balance with Cloud. He knew it was wrong, he knew he wasn't supposed to, but he was too tired to care. He laid on the mat, gulping in air. Cloud squatted down next to him, small beads of sweat sticking to his own hair, but nothing compared to Roxas.
Axel said he was 'fit' but that was an understatement.
"That was fun... insightful..." the last word was a mumble, but Roxas didn't care enough to comment on it. The next thing the blond knew, Cloud was standing above Roxas, holding a dripping cup of water.
Roxas forced himself to sit up, grabbing it slowly as if that would show that he wasn't really that 'un-fit'. Eventually he followed Cloud to the nearby bench, both slowly sipping on the crystal water.
"You know..." Roxas studied his cup, blank and white, made of a frail paper that would rip apart if it held liquid for too long. His pause was taking a bit too long, causing Cloud to grow concerned. "It would have been nice, to grow up with a father..."
It was Cloud's turn to eye his cup, following his son's lead. "Your mom did a good job..." they both understood they were having a moment, but neither wanted to ruin it. Silence could ruin it by itself though. "All by herself."
"She did a lot by herself... but, I don't know... she could've done a lot more, but she... she kept Zack around." It was time to look at a new side of the gym, Roxas stood up. He didn't wait for Cloud to follow, but when he noticed the man had, he changed to subject. "How long do you usually keep going?"
"It's about time to leave now."
Looking around the gym lead to Roxas noticing a window, it was already becoming dark outside. He hadn't realized they'd been at it for so long. All he could do was nod, Cloud was grabbing his belonging and leaving, the younger keeping his head down and blindly following.
Once they were locked in the moving car, Cloud picked up their conversation. "Zack is... he's not an easy person to understand."
"No shit..." Roxas slouched in his seat, "His ways is the only way... unless his brother has something to say." The scenery outside was becoming entrancing, "All he fucking does is talk."
Cloud glanced over at his son, watching as Roxas held himself tightly. "His brother?"
"Yeah... Angeal," his voice dripped in malice, "He acts like he's a fucking God."
"That's a bad thing?" It was a question, but it sounded more like a statement.
Whether it was a question or not, Roxas didn't answer.
"How long has his brother been around?"
"Always," Roxas was becoming angry, "The moment Zack came around, he was with his brother..." The conversation was striking a nerve, and Roxas started a rant. "Oh, Angeal doesn't have anywhere else to go... He had plenty of places to go, he just didn't want to get a job. No. He sits at mom's table and drinks. All day. Every day. And then lectures mom how it's not really her table. Even though she's the one who bought it. Because nothing is allowed to be hers. Zack half ass works. No. Mom is the only one who works. And when they found out I got a job? They were pissed. They fucked me over. Because they didn't want me to help her? Anytime I helped her... I had to keep it a secret. Shit, even if I helped Zack out- they'd smash it back in my face."
"What do you mean, 'smash it back in your face'?" Cloud was squeezing the steering wheel harder than he needed to.
"Nothing..." Roxas finally answered, not paying attention to Cloud, instead he was shutting himself off. They had some time together at the gym, that didn't make them best friends, and it was none of his business. He wouldn't be able to do anything at the end it all anyway.
Cloud was speeding, trying to calm himself down. Telling his body to relax. It was easier said than done. He needed to change the subject, but at the same time- couldn't. "That was good... at the gym. Are you sure you've never been before?"
"Yeah right..."
They pulled into the driveway, Cloud glad that Roxas darted inside. But inside or not, Roxas and Cloud were both left with the same feelings. Cloud huffed to himself, reluctant to leave the vehicle, he needed to talk to his wife and hoped Roxas wouldn't notice.
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February 4th, 2021
