AN: Second update today- enjoy!
It was almost a week later and Rory was at a party. She hadn't wanted to go initially; having spent the last few days watching Tristan with girls all over him hadn't left her in the best mood, but Logan finally convinced her. Currently she was leaning against a wall, her fourth drink in hand, feeling a little tipsy. She could see Logan at the opposite end of the room flirting with a cute brunette and she smiled reassuringly at him when he looked in her direction. He had spent the first hour after they had arrived checking up on Rory every fifteen minutes to make sure that she was alright and didn't want to leave. Although it was sweet, she eventually convinced him to go have fun and not to worry about her but even then he kept constantly looking over to make sure that she was okay.
Wearing dark jeans and a simple tank top, she felt slightly out of place with her elaborately and scantily dressed classmates but she didn't let it bother her. She didn't let it bother her that was, until she saw one of those particular classmates leading Tristan onto the dance floor. Dancing at these parties meant nothing more than rubbing up against each other almost like foreplay, and Rory really didn't want to watch her ex-boyfriend do this with another girl. Trying to fight back the tears coming to her eyes, she put her drink down and walked out the door, ignoring the concerned looks being sent her way.
Rory found herself out on a balcony that faced an expansive garden, complete with fountain. She could still hear the faint sounds of music from behind the closed door.
"Hey!"
She turned to see Abby in the door way, smiling sympathetically.
"Hey." She forced a smile, turning back to look at the view.
"It's sick isn't it?"
"What is?" Rory replied, even though she didn't want to. She knew that Abby was talking about Tristan and she really didn't want anyone's sympathy; she had dumped him, not the other way around.
"This," Abby said, waving an arm around, gesturing to something that Rory was unsure about. Seeing her look, Abby elaborated. "All of this, the huge house that is barely lived in, the huge gardens that nobody takes the time to walk through. What a waste."
"Yeah."
Abby looked sideways at her friend. "I'm not doing a good job, am I?"
"A good job at what?"
"Distracting you."
"There's nothing to distract me from."
Abby snorted. "Don't play stupid sweetheart, we all saw it."
Rory shrugged, looking away. "Maybe I deserve it, you know? I dumped him, not the other way around. It was my decision and so what if I'm regretting it? I don't want anyone's sympathy."
Abby rolled her eyes. "You know for someone who doesn't want sympathy, you have a pretty nice little speech there that's practically screaming for it." She patted Rory on the back, making her way towards the door and back to the party. "Just think about what you really want, okay?"
Rory scowled as Abby left, hating that her words had made her think, hating that she was maybe right. Sighing, she put her entire weight on the railings, gazing off into space but not really seeing anything.
It was almost twenty minutes later that Logan found her. He stepped out on the balcony, shutting the door quietly behind him. Rory didn't turn around and so he went to stand beside her.
"Beautiful night," he commented idly. She nodded in agreement but didn't reply. He sighed. "What do you want me to say Rory?"
She shrugged and was horrified to find out that tears were streaming down her face. "I hate crying," she whispered, desperately wiping at her cheeks. "But it's all I seem to be doing lately."
Logan put an arm around his best friend, sighing as she pressed her face against his chest. "I know you do," he replied, his voice low. "And I know that everything's pretty fucked up right now but it'll get better. You and your dad are talking again and you're actually getting along with Devin." He paused for a moment, knowing that she wouldn't like what he had to say. "Maybe this thing with Tristan just isn't meant to be."
"What?" She asked, pulling back her head.
He sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "He's moving on and maybe you should too. You can't cry every time he looks at another girl, Ror. And I mean, you say that you didn't love him, so why are you so bent out of shape over it?"
"Excuse me? It's been a week Logan, only a fucking week!"
He scoffed. "You used to have a new guy by the next day." He sighed again, something he found himself doing a lot lately. "I guess I just don't understand; what's so special about this guy?"
"That's just it; I don't know. He's rude, obnoxious and arrogant as hell." She looked wistful for a moment, obviously deep in a memory. "But then there's these moments where it's just the two of us, you know? And he'll be the sweetest guy in the world, someone that I could really imagine myself with."
Logan nodded slowly. "I can't say that I understand because honestly, that doesn't make sense to me. There must be millions of guys in the world like that; hell I'm one of those guys, Rory. It's just an act, there's nothing to it."
She shook her head stubbornly. "It wasn't an act; we had something."
"Maybe you just thought that the two of you had something. I mean, you only dated for a month or so."
"I didn't 'just think'! We did have something!"
He took a deep breath, not wanting to start a fight. "Want to get out of here? We can still catch a late movie if we leave quick enough."
At Rory's nod, he placed a hand at the small of her back, guiding her towards the door. He opened the door to find Tristan on the other side, preparing to go to the balcony himself.
"Hey." Rory's voice was surprised, low and vulnerable.
"Hi." Tristan looked awkward, almost as if he wasn't sure how he ended up there.
Logan sighed, knowing that despite that his brotherly instincts were telling him to stick around, to make sure that Rory's heart didn't get broken, he should leave. "I'll be inside," he whispered to her, squeezing her arm on his way to the door. He nodded to Tristan, knowing that he didn't have to say anything.
"So, how are you?" Tristan finally asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence. He couldn't help but notice both the tear tracks on Rory's face and her red eyes.
"I've been better," she replied, swiping at her cheeks self-consciously, feeling hideous compared to the perfectly made up girls inside. "How about you?"
He nodded. "The same."
They stood there for a moment, just staring at each other before Rory spoke. "When did everything get so weird between us?" Her voice was sad and her tone was defeated.
"I think it was around the moment that you said it was over," he remarked bitterly.
"I never said that! You ended it!"
"I didn't have a choice! You gave me an ultimatum and maybe my answer didn't satisfy you but at least I didn't lie!" He thought for a moment before continuing. "But it didn't matter what I answered, did it? If I had told you that I loved you, you would've run scared, wouldn't you?"
"Do you? Love me, I mean."
"God Rory, is that all you care about? We're only seventeen!"
"Just answer the question Tristan!"
"No, I don't. But maybe I could have, maybe with time I would have."
She nodded, not all that surprised by his answer. "Relationships without love don't last anyway, maybe its better that we got out of it now."
"What kind of bullshit is that?"
"Excuse me?"
Tristan laughed, almost bitterly. "Is that what you really think Rory? That you either love someone now or you never will? That's not how it works; that's not reality."
"Fuck reality!"
"You're being stupid Rory; you can't have it both ways. You can't end things between us and then act like I'm cheating on you every time I talk to a girl. That's not the way things work!"
She took a deep breath, trying to subdue the tears welling up inside. "Maybe I didn't want to end things with you, maybe I made a mistake."
He shook his head. "We didn't talk, Ror," he said quietly. "It would have ended eventually, probably pretty soon. You just sped it along a little."
"What if I want to fix everything, what if I want to be with you?" Tears were streaming down her face now but she did nothing to stop them.
"I don't think that it would work."
"It doesn't matter that you think that it wouldn't work! Live in the now! We had fun together, didn't we?"
"That's just the problem; all we had was fun and that's great sometimes but I want more substance in my relationships."
"So you're saying that I'm shallow?"
Tristan took a deep breath, wishing for patience. "Look at us Rory. We've been talking to each other for two minutes and already we're fighting." His voice was soft as he spoke and he looked directly into her eyes. "Doesn't that tell you something?"
Rory looked directly at him. "It tells me that this will be hard, that we'll have to work at it. But it also tells me that it's worth it, that our relationship will never be boring." She sighed when she saw Tristan's skeptical look. "You know what? I don't want to have to convince you to be in a relationship with me."
She turned away towards the door, ready to leave, ready to get over Tristan Dugrey. She was stopped when she heard his laughter behind her.
"What's so funny?" She asked, hurt that he could be laughing when she could practically hear her heart breaking.
"We are so fucked up Rory." He smiled at her as though he was sharing a secret. "One second I'm trying to convince you to have a relationship, the next you're trying to convince me. We are never going to be on the same page are we?" He chuckled. "It'll make this relationship much more interesting won't it?"
"You want a relationship with me?"
He shrugged, smirking. "Well not really but you know, I feel sorry for you and so I suppose that I'll go out with you," he replied sarcastically before laughing. "Yeah, I want a relationship with you Rory."
She smiled still a little shaken from the recent events. "I changed my mind. Like I'd go out with you," she said mock-disgustedly, tossing her hair arrogantly. For the first time in almost a week, she felt like herself again.
"That's a shame." His voice was low as he stepped closer to her. "Probably means that I shouldn't be doing this." He stepped even closer, sliding his arms around her waist. "Or this." He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.
"Nope, definitely should not be doing that." She stepped back a little once they had broke apart, smiling up in his eyes. She leaned up and kissed him, enjoying the feeling that she hadn't experienced in almost a week.
They stood there for a moment, reveling in the feeling of being back together again. Rory leaned her head against Tristan's chest and he wrapped his hands tighter around her waist. She looked up as the songs inside changed and a familiar song drifted out to them.
"It's our song," she said smiling.
Tristan shook his head. "You want to dance?"
"It's Nirvana, Tristan, you can't dance to Nirvana," Rory said grinning, reminding Tristan of his words from almost a month ago. Despite her words she stepped even closer, putting her arms around his neck.
They danced slowly, despite the fast beat. Staring into each other's eyes, they smiled self-consciously and weren't able to keep the grins off of their faces.
An hour later the two of them found themselves sitting on the floor of Tristan's room talking about everything and anything that came to mind. Rory laughed as Tristan finished telling a story about his childhood imaginary friend and nudged his foot with hers. They hadn't intended on going back to his place after they left the party but somehow they ended up there, despite the bad memories that had been created almost a week ago.
Tristan took a swig of his drink, glaring playfully at Rory who was still laughing. "Okay, it's your turn now."
Sobering up quickly, she thought for a minute. "Alright, I'll tell you about the first time that I met Logan." She looked at Tristan who nodded, leaning back against the bed. "Okay, so there I was, a gorgeous, smart, perfect, innocent thirteen year old girl at boarding school for the first time. I usually didn't go to boarding school because I moved so much with dad but this time his job had like a million business trips involved so he decided that it would be best."
He rolled his eyes. "Get on with the story."
She pouted. "Mean! Anyway so there I was outside reading a book because I didn't really know anyone that well yet. And all of a sudden I hear this yelling and I look over to see a teacher yelling at this guy for doing something."
"And this guy was Logan?"
"The one and only. So I happen to overhear and find out that he just got accused of playing a prank on the school and because I'm such a nice person-" she glared at Tristan as he snorted- "I covered for him. I said to the teacher that I did it and it was all my fault and because they didn't have any evidence to the contrary, I got blamed and had to serve two months detention. Logan and I became friends after that because he was going to be expelled and I saved him."
Tristan nodded. "I can see you doing that." He paused for a second, looking at Rory curiously. "What did Logan do anyway?"
"Painted all the windows in the school black; very unoriginal I know."
He just laughed in response.
It was odd but they didn't mind that they had spent that time apart; sure it had been a black period in Rory's life, but it had brought them closer together. As they sat there reveling in the silence, Rory realized that even though they were back together, it would still be a while before they were back to normal and somehow she didn't mind. What did being normal matter anyway?
"My mom came back last week," Rory blurted out suddenly, feeling like she owed Tristan to tell him why she had come to him crying that night.
"You don't have to tell me this Ror," Tristan murmured reassuringly, reaching for her hand. He knew that she was going to tell him anyway.
"She just took off seventeen years ago and suddenly she's back expecting me to be okay with it. It's hard, you know? She named me after herself too, like she was a good person or something but she's not. What kind of person just leaves their kid like the second after their born and doesn't look back? All I had growing up was a fucking photograph and a name and that's worth shit!"
"I'm sorry."
She snorted. "Don't be; you had nothing to do with it." She leaned back against the bed suddenly feeling tired. "Devin calls her mom," she remarked quietly. "He says that she's been there for him and she kept his family together. And she does all this when she's never been there for me and my family's always been half missing."
Tristan put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned in gratefully, looking for comfort that she knew that he could provide.
"I don't know if I can forgive her, ever. I don't even know if I want to get to know her or her perfect new family." She paused. "I have a sister, did I tell you?"
He shook his head.
"She's almost four. I might meet her but I'm not sure yet. You know, she's just another reminder of Lorelai and I really don't need another of those. Besides if I met her then I would have to go to their house and that would be awkward."
Tristan grinned. "And when have you been afraid of awkward situations?"
She laughed, nudging him with her shoulder, glad that this conversation was over and the tension had dispersed. Leaning over she kissed him, moving slightly so that she got a better angle and putting her hands around his neck. He kissed her back, running his hands down her sides until they hit her waist where they remained.
It was half an hour later that they broke apart for the thousandth time.
"Tristan!" Rory squealed laughing as he tried to pull her closer when she was trying to move farther apart. "It's late; my dad will be worried."
"So call him," Tristan mumbled smirking slightly, kissing from her ear to her neck.
"And tell him what? 'Sorry daddy, but I'm spending the night at my boyfriend's house so we can celebrate our getting back together.' I was born when he was sixteen; he's not stupid."
He finally released her, sighing dramatically. "Fine." He sighed again, looking at Rory pathetically.
"No Tristan." Rory stood up from the floor, ignoring his pouting look. "Let's go."
Tristan smirked and put his hands behind his head, leaning back. "That's right; I'm your ride home. Without me you can't go anywhere." He patted the space next to him. "You can sit back down because you're not going anywhere for a while."
It was close to an hour later that Tristan dropped her off at her house.
"Thanks for the ride." She leaned over and kissed him and wasn't surprised when he deepened it.
"No problem. I'll call you tomorrow and we can… do something," he said suggestively.
Rory giggled. "Mind out of the gutter Dugrey."
She hopped out of the car before he could reply and made her way to the front door, waving at him as she walked into the house.
Rory was almost walking on air as she tiptoed her way past her father's dark room and arrived at her bedroom. Maybe everything wasn't perfect right now and maybe her situation with her mom would never get completely sorted out but for now she was happy. Her thoughts jumped to Tristan and their reunion. She had been surprised that they had gotten back together so quickly, even though it had seemed like they had been apart for ages. She shouldn't have been surprised though; Rory had wanted Tristan and Haydens always got what they want.
As she slid between her warm sheets, she realized that for the first time, she was actually looking towards the future with a guy that wasn't her dad or Logan and it didn't scare her. She still wasn't completely comfortable with thinking that far ahead, a month or two at the most but she was getting there and that was all that matters.
