Blue eyes opened, Roxas had been awake for hours, but he was avoiding it. He didn't know what to do anymore, he didn't know where to go next, he didn't know what to be doing, instead he was lying in his hopelessness. The phone Axel had given him had been off all night, and he wanted desperately to turn it on to see if maybe his red haired friend had an idea, but he wanted to conserve the battery life as much as possible. He'd turn it on when he had something to share, whether with his friend or the police. There wasn't anymore room for procrastination as his bladder assaulted him, becoming painful enough that Roxas had to overcome the concern of someone being on the other side of his door, and about the view he'd see in the bathroom.

Roxas didn't feel anxious till he left the bathroom, finding Angeal standing in the living room, peering out the window.

"What do they know that you don't?" The man broke the silence, continuing the watch the busy people on the street with distain.

"About what?" Roxas' voice was quiet as he stepped only a little closer.

"For starters," he finally turned to face the teen, "They know how to open the door and get out of their damn room."

"Where's Zack?" Angeal hated it when Roxas changed the subject, but he wouldn't admit it. Instead he grinds his teeth and takes a deep breathe, closing his eyes as if to compose himself before he responds, with anything except an answer.

"Are you watching out for my baby brother now?" Angeal approached the still blond, the distain never leaving his face. Something Angeal always had, the look on his face like everyone was below him, but not only less than him, but bothersome. Roxas knew to face the man without making eye contact, because like a wild animal, Angeal was easily threatened. His breathes were loud, as if they were his own form of growling, and the glare he had on Roxas was almost enough to burn a hole through the blond, because even though Roxas hadn't done anything directly to the man, his small stature still posed as a danger.

When he turned back towards the window, Roxas let a breath out he didn't know he was holding, his feet still planted as if in cement. The tension in the room was stifling, and slowly crushing the smaller occupant, but under the pressure there was no room to escape. His only holy grail was a few feet away, but to swim through the intensity of the room seemed like miles, all he could do was wait for Angeal to lift the strain in the air himself.

The tension lifted as Angeal's phone began to ring, a generic tone sang for only a second, as if the device itself knew not to bother the brooding man. "Go do something," he spoke to Roxas without sparing him a glance, "Don't," Roxas flinched as he bit out the word, "Run away."

Roxas turned, he was always readily prepared to leave, as he reached for the doorknob the deep voice slithered into his ears, "Stay out... late..."

There was definitely something concerning with what he said, but he wasn't going to stand there and think about it. He ran out the door, not caring if it shut behind him, he had the green light to leave the suffocating room and he desperately needed air, gasping as he ran out of the apartment building, not knowing where he was going to go, but needing to leave the hostile building he'd known all his life. If only he could leave it all behind...

The sky was bright blue, a few clouds scattered around like white blobs of paint, mocking him with its cheer. Because in the end, no one and nothing cared about the internal conflict he felt, the sun didn't care that the true light of his life was gone forever. Water rushed to the corner of his eyes, trying to break the dam he'd built, but the back of his hand quickly disposed of the liquid as if it never existed.

His hands found comfort in his pockets, his head hung low, and he tried to hurry his pace, on the off chance Angeal was still staring out the window, looking down on him. There was no escaping the man, Zack was a mess of confusion on his own, but everything was made worse if Angeal was involved, and now he was expected to live his life with his defenses constantly up. Maybe following his father's footsteps wouldn't be a bad idea, he could run away and become a solider...

Footsteps echoed around him, everyone in a hurry to live out their own problems, they rushed past him as if he was nothing more than a shadow. No one used cars near the ports, because there was no reason to, everything was close by- all the markets and shops- something he missed was the lack of car noises, but now he was surrounded by people, and it didn't feel the same. People were every where to be found, some speaking, others yelling, normally it comforted him to be around friendly people preoccupied. But now, he never felt more alone.

As he sorrows consumed him, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Roxas!"

The blond jumped, there was no way his ears were right, but as he turned around, red filled his vision. "Ax... Axel?"

"What are you doing out here like that? It's cold," he stated as if Roxas' couldn't feel the prickles on his arm. Roxas hadn't noticed them until Axel slid his own hoodie around the blond, shielding him from the nipping air, only then did he tune into the physical discomfort.

"What are you doing here?" Roxas didn't move, his eyes must've been playing tricks.

Axel grabbed Roxas arms, taking a deep breath as if he was about to explode, but he stopped, "Let's go this way," he broke eye contact with Roxas and lead him through the crowd. The green eyes, although they looked shocked and concerned, they also brought a sense of warmth Roxas didn't know he was missing. Like a limp rag doll he let Axel manipulate his movements, not questioning where the man was taking him, all Roxas could think about was the warmth from the hoodie and the need for Axel to look at him and never stop.

Roxas was too lost in the red mane he was following to notice the people become fewer and fewer, and when Axel finally stopped walking, there was no one around. Axel sat on the bench and pulled Roxas down with him, he began mumbling something but Roxas couldn't make it out. When the hissing of a bus broke through his fog, the blond finally looked around. They were at the bus stop, the only public transport that wasn't water bound. Again Axel attempted to lead Roxas, but this time the blond planted his feet.

"Wait, Axel, what are you doing?"

Wide green eyes turned to look into fragile blue, as if for the first time realizing what he was pulling around was another human. Air hissed around them again as the bus began to pull away, Axel looked up at it with his confusion before turning to loom over the blond. "Getting you away from here."

"Wh... what?" he shook his head, "Wait, what are you talking about? Just wait a minute, talk to me."

"Coming from the kid who won't talk to anyone?" Axel raised an eyebrow. When he didn't back down, Roxas took a step back, trying to avoid the pressure weighing on him.

"What are you doing here Axel?" There was nothing he could say to refute the red head.

"How's it going with them?" Axel looked down at Roxas, silently inspecting the blond's face.

"It's fine," he looked off to the side as he half rolled his eyes in annoyance, "Did you come all this way to-"

"Don't do that," the bark in his voice caught Roxas off guard again, "Don't play this game..."

"What..." Roxas took another step back from him, the moment he saw his red hair he felt warmth spread throughout him, but the tables were turning and Roxas felt like a mouse trapped in a corner. He had no idea how to act, he was so stunned he forgot who he was. The all avoiding Roxas that never had any problems, but the tone in Axel's voice was tearing down his walls. "Why did you come here?" He could bite too.

It's not like Axel was going to back down, if he had Roxas would be surprised, but green eyes narrowed as if he knew how to read Roxas' encryptions. Their staring match continued, green eyes steadily watching while the strong blue eyes began to falter, and when Roxas couldn't hold his glare he looked off to the side with mock boredom, "Just tell me what you want."

"I want you to tell me the truth?"

"Don't you have a mother to be taking care of?"

Axel jaw flexed as he ground his teeth, the blond grew confidence and shame from his low blow but it wasn't enough to break the older boy. "Why are you pushing me away?"

"I didn't ask you to come here in the first place, why do I need my fake boyfriend here?" Roxas was pushing the red head away, and he knew all the right words to do the wrong thing.

Axel didn't speak, he tipped his head back, looking above the blond's head, "I guess for nothing..." his voice sounded defeated.

Roxas took a sharp breath, the blunt words and the devastated look on Axel's face was finally breaking through to him. The person in front of him traveled miles to ask him how he was doing, to attempt to kidnap him and steal him away, and Roxas almost went through with it, because what did he have to stay for? But there was something holding him back, he knew he needed to stay to help his mother one last time, but he didn't want to break down Axel in the process. This man in front of him looked down on him with nothing but concern and care, ever since they met, Axel never judged him or held his actions against him. He always kept it straight, even when Roxas felt like his head was going to explode from the constant spinning.

Axel opened up to him, without saying it aloud. No one ever went to Axel's, the redhead having a home was more of a mythical story than anything, and said redhead took Roxas there and allowed him to spend the night. Although the night was one he'd rather forget for his own pride, there was still a bare part of Axel that he showed only to Roxas. Roxas might not have known the depth of Axel's relationship with his mother, and why Axel didn't want to go back to his father and brother, but Roxas had also never asked. Because he was always too absorbed in his own problems, and now he was spitting Axel's problems back in his own face. The pain in Axel's eyes was eating at Roxas, since he entered his life, he'd seen more pain than joy behind the green eyes. His face was so perfect, especially when he was smiling.

Did he really become that absorbed in his own problems that he'd forgotten to enjoy moments too?

"Thank you..." Roxas softly spoke. He wanted to stay for his mother, but that was no reason to tear his one friend down, guilt was starting to consume Roxas and he almost blushed as his mind continued to race, realizing all the missed signals and small instances of butterflies that he'd completely over looked because he was so focused on not being there. He really was a shitty person...

"We weren't really dating... but you're still my friend Roxas." There was still pain in Axel's voice, his smooth voice filling Roxas' ears and causing him to flinch. Pain sounded so much worse on Axel's lips. "I'm sorry about your mom... how are you doing?"

"Don't ask me that," Roxas didn't want to cause the redhead more pain, but he also didn't want to break down his own walls. "I don't think she killed herself, but I need to prove it."

Axel's gazed softened a little, waiting silently for the blond to continue his thought process.

"She didn't sign any of this paperwork, against Cloud or for Zack, she wasn't conscious to do any of it!" He stopped himself, he was getting too deep in his emotions, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to clear his mind. There was no use getting his feeling involved, they would only cloud his judgment.

Warmth ebbed on his shoulder, Axel's hand gently rested to comfort him, waking him from his downward spiral just in time. Roxas slowed his breathing, trying to get back on topic, while simultaneously avoiding it.

"I went to the police," he scoffed, "They told me not to file a fake report. I need more evidence. I don't know why they would... do that to her, what the hell did they get from it? Why did they pull me all the way back here? They don't want me here, I don't want to be here, but they put that in their paperwork too-" he stopped talking as a new thought dawned on him.

Axel was silent, his heart pounding as he waited for Roxas' sudden realization to be shared.

"What if they're trying to kill me too?" Panic couldn't be hidden on Roxas' face, "Maybe they're afraid I'll get them locked up?" He searched his memory frantically while Axel tried to reassure him they would never do something like that to him, even though Axel didn't full believe his own words.

"A judge," Axel finally spit out, "A judge would've accepted the paperwork or whatever, find the judge, try to talk to him. Do you know where the paperwork is? It should say the judge's name," Axel's plan was not thought out, they both knew Roxas couldn't just call up the judge like they were long lost friends. But the redhead was also afraid to stop talking, he wanted to comfort Roxas, to stop the murderous train in the blond's head. "Look, I don't know," he finally confessed when he saw the wheels turning again, spitting out more words as if he was trying to calm a wild animal, "I don't know what to do, I've never been in your position, I'm sorry I can't give you the answers, I'm still here though-."

"I'll handle it myself..."

"What?" Concerned green eye's searched Roxas' eyes, there were so many unknown worries. Axel knew that things were bad between Roxas and the older men, but he didn't know how bad it could really be and that opened his mind up to a lot of possibilities. "I don't want you to do something that will get you hurt..."

"It doesn't matter," Roxas was avoiding his gaze, "They can't be allowed to get away with this." His tone was so matter-of-fact that it sent a sharp pain through Axel's heart. The blond was ready to throw away everything, his future, his happiness, and his life, all to make sure people paid for his mother's death. It was noble and a huge responsibility, but it didn't have to be his alone to bear.

"It does matter," Axel could be blunt too. "It matters to me, I wasn't lying when I said all that stuff before... I care Roxas, for you. I'll help you and we'll do this together-"

"No," Roxas cut him off, "I need to do this by myself." His words were harsh, his body stiff as he stared at Axel. The older boy flinched again at his words, he'd traveled miles in some unbeknown way, and Roxas was being cold. The bags under the redhead's eyes were dark, almost fading into his tattoos, from lack of sleep or an over whelming amount of stress, or maybe both. His laid back persona was gone, instead replaced by a boney lump of black dressed depression that sat on the edge of the bench, poised and ready to pursue the blond in the event of a chase.

When did he become so troubled? Was it all from Roxas, or was it there before?

"Axel..." the blond gasped for air like he'd been holding his breath, "I'm sorry..." he stood next to his friend, "You should have forgotten me instead..."

A hand clasped around Roxas, forcing him to look up at the taller red head, his movements were so quick but nothing came. Roxas' heart jumped out of his chest as he felt the long arm slither around his waist, fiercely pulling him towards the body it belonged to, Axel pulling as if trying to merge their bodies together. Green eyes stared down at Roxas, peering into his eyes as he loomed mere inches above his face. There was so much emotion behind his actions, but when he had Roxas where he wanted him, his body froze. Both their hearts pounded louder by the second, Roxas' face turning a color similar to the color of his friend's hair, but he silently waited for the reason behind said friend's actions.

"I judged it," he looked back and forth between the innocent blue eyes, "I think you're worth getting to know... I'm not letting you do this alone," Roxas flinched, a cold shiver striking through the borrowed hoodie, the dam he'd built with sticks and mud in his mind was being tested again.

Hands, completely buried in the too-big-hoodie, flew up to Axel's chest, "No!" His voice shook, if Axel wasn't staring straight at him he'd think he was crying. Roxas pushed and hit at Axel's chest, trying to get him to break his hold, trying to escape the stifling air. Gasping as if he was being strangled, he needed to get away before he caved inwards, but Axel was silently watching him. Holding Roxas as if he was a squirming mouse caught in a trap, he was only trying to help him out, and as if Roxas was indeed a small animal in distress, Axel effortless turned Roxas to face away from his looming, seemingly threatening, figure. His hold was secure as they fell to the ground, the blond collapsing to sit with Axel on the cold cement.

Now that Axel couldn't see his face, his dam felt slightly secure, his breathing jagged as he gulped in as much air as he could. Warm breaths tickled the hair on his ear, finally he heard the quiet cooing from Axel, "No," he said back quietly. Here he was, breaking down, in the middle of the sidewalk, in public.

Roxas, get it together.

The tears were drying in his eyes, begrudgingly returning to his dam that didn't fully break. Arms gave a slight squeeze as Roxas took in a deep breath, his head leaned back, resting on Axel's shoulder, "I'm fine," his lie was pointless, "I can't... I have to do this myself..."

"Why?" the deep voice rolled into Roxas' ears like a warm wave.

Warmth.

He'd taken for granted all the warmth that came with Axel, the intense heat, the comfort that ebbed around himself when Axel was around... Like a baby curled in the fetal position, floating through an abyss of reds and yellows, surrounded by a gentle warmth. Why did Roxas ever want to leave that? As the thoughts swelled in his mind and heart, he found himself leaning into Axel's chest, no longer facing away from the man but instead holding onto him like a life line. He never wanted to let go again.

But he knew he needed to, hesitantly he pulled away, unable to meet Axel's gaze. "I have to do this alone... I don't want anyone to get hurt." Axel studied Roxas as if he knew at any moment he would fall apart in his arms, but he also knew the blond wouldn't allow himself to. "I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing..." Roxas was quick to stand up, separating himself from Axel as fast as he could as if ripping off a bandage, Axel was quicker though. Axel's hand firmly held the too big hoodie, in a place where Roxas' hand would be if the hoodie wasn't ginormous on him, the blond shook his head to himself as he undid the fabric and handed it over to Axel.

Axel was only able to take a deep breath before Roxas cut him off. "Thank you..."

"Roxas," Axel pushed to be back in Roxas' face, dropping the hoodie to the ground, "I'm staying." He was bent down to Roxas' level, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a cord, "Keep your phone on you," if it wasn't for the smile on his face it would sound like a threat, he voice softened as he stood up straight again, towering over Roxas, "Every day, I'll be out here," he gestured all around them, "Please don't shut me out."

Tears were welling up in blue eyes again, but this time the integrity of his dam was at fault, he wanted to say something but he knew words wouldn't cover it. Shaky hands slithered around Axel's torso, hugging the slender man in a loose hug. Warmth wrapped around him again as Axel held Roxas, tight like before, his face nuzzling in blond locks.

As much as the two boys wanted to stay like that, one afraid to say it and the other knowing about that fear, they began walking around the markets. Small talk and big laughter kept the chilly air away from them, and Roxas could almost forget all his problems, almost.

"It's getting late... they'll probably want you back soon..."

"They might," Roxas shrugged, pretending to not know what Axel was talking about.

"I have another confession..." Blue eyes impatiently watched him, hanging on every second. "I'm not the only one who knows you're here. Cloud and Tifa have to know where to stay away from, so naturally Sora snooped through their stuff and found the address too. That's how I found you... your brother and Riku are coming too... and Cloud and Tifa are coming also. I guess once everyone knew what was happening, everyone wanted to come save you."

Roxas was frozen, "I don't need saving," he eventually mumbled, but the words were still slowly sinking in. Five people, who were strangers months ago... and now they were all coming to help him... He didn't know whether to be proud and not need help, or thankful there were people who cared.

The sun was no longer visible, Angeal said to stay out late, but it was too cold to wait much longer, even with Axel's heat. Axel walked Roxas to his apartment building, they stood silently outside, neither wanting to end the day to end and the night begin. "Could you do me a favor? It's about Zack... he has this prescription he stopped taking, could you look up what it's prescribed for? Zoloft?"

"It's for depression," Axel didn't need to look it up. His voice sounded beyond bored, as if he was reciting an old text book, "OCD, PTSD, social anxiety, helps with a lot of anxiety, panic attacks, and then depression, I doubt Zack uses it to help with PMS." Axel deadpanned, it could've been a joke if he didn't seem so bored. His stare continued and Roxas found himself blinking enough for the both of them. "Which one do you think he takes it for?"

Roxas offered a shrug, "I don't know... is it bad to just quit it?

"Depends why he's taking it."

There was a long pause, Axel's eyes glowing as he looked down at Roxas, the gaze burning a hole through Roxas.

"I'll find out..."

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I'm about to break down, I'm searching for a way out. I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a nonbeliever.

Uploaded December 1st, 2021