If you've come from Finding the Color in Grey, then welcome and thank you for all the love on that story!

I know we're all wondering how Ana came to work at a suicide prevention hotline and how the stars or in this case the switchboard randomizer connected these two souls together. This five chapter installment will explore Ana's backstory and hopefully answer some questions.

What led Ana to her shade of gray and how did she find the strength from it?

Thank you for reading

Nadia.


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I'm sitting in jail. Well, it's Montesano so it's not exactly a jail cell but just a less than dignified waiting room with steel bars that cage me. My leg is furiously bouncing up and down but my resolve is ice cold and buried deep in the ground.

Dad has got a good rapport with the law enforcement folks given that he's an ex-serviceman and has clinked beers with them frequently over the years.

And then there's me.

Quiet, bookworm, Ana Steele.

How does someone like me end up in jail for attempted assault and destruction of private property?

Heh, well, let's explore that shall w-

"Steele!" the rookie police officer roars my name. He's new on the force, I know this because he's got that fresh look of, I'm going to protect and serve in his eyes, and well, I know literally everyone is this fucked up small town. He tried to talk to me and cast the impression that we weren't all that different and almost the same age. Uh no, wannabe officer, I'm 16 and you're 21 or some shit. I'm in a cage and you have the keys.

We. Are. Not. The. Same.

The keys clank and the door screeches open. I get up and walk past him like a storm, out towards the main desk where Dad is waiting for me. He's disappointed, of course he is. Carla was a problem wife enough and now to raise her child who does a 180 and turns into a raging lunatic? I don't blame him. Guess my DNA is finally showing its true colors and potential.

None of this is his fault but I also can't help but not pursue my own brand of justice.

But I deserve my outlet too.

We walk out in silence, after Dad thanks the sheriff's department for not treating me like an actual criminal. A deal was struck, either I voluntarily leave school or risk expulsion and ex-communication from the town for daring to hold the person responsible for where I am right now. They all look at me with a mixture of condescension and pity in their eyes.

That's the problem with fucked up towns and the very few who run it. They get high on power, thrive on gossip and live to make an example out of those who they've driven to insanity and in some cases, death.

"Annie... talk to me, kid." Dad's voice is imploring. It's gotten heavier with worry in the past week and mine has gone silent. "What is going on in that head of yours?"

I shrug, digging myself further into the passenger seat. "They deserve to feel pain too." My mind drifts to five hours ago where for just a few seconds, someone else's fear actually brought me some peace.

I follow the SUV and watch it come to a stop. Lover's Sanctuary, is a spot in the woods that horny teenagers visit to indulge in their own hurried version of R&R.

His father bought him that car when he got accepted to University of Washington on a full scholarship to play football. It's a fully loaded Jeep Grand Cherokee. Well, I'm about to fully load it into the damn junkyard.

He graces his subjects with his presence that is full of purpose, he's a senior so he's revered and worshipped. The head cheerleader is his girlfriend and his reigning Queen. But I know his secret. I know all his secrets. And tonight, those secrets will demand their reckoning.

I exit my car and walk back to the trunk to take out the baseball bat and swiss army knife.

First order of business, slashing the tires. I'm able to do this undetected because it's dark and I'm crouching down close to the ground. I can hear them moan and the car move while they get on with their expression of love. I roll my eyes. I want to throw up.

Once I'm done, I gear up for the finale. Time to take a few swings at a bitch and his rides.

First up, is the windshield. The sound of the wood smashing through the glass is music to my ears and a cool breeze to my soul. Then, it's the headlights, followed by the front hood. Fuck this shit is a workout. I hear them actually screaming and desperately trying to get their clothes on. I'm in no hurry and in no mood to see them naked. I just want them scared and crying.

Then I go for the doors, bashing in the joints.

"WHAT THE FUCK, ANA?" Michael screams, once he's out from the door I fail to reach in time, stumbling as he tries to get far enough. "Ash, call the fucking cops. NOW!" He screams again.

Damn, the fear on both their faces feels powerful.

"You know, you scream like a little bitch, right? Is he like this when he's struggling to reach orgasm, Ashley?" She doesn't answer but shakily holds her phone trying to get the police on the line.

I smash his taillights.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH."

"Why are you still screaming? The car is pretty much totaled... but you know what, I'll leave the back windshield intact." I laugh.

Even my laugh isn't the same. The ground beneath me isn't still, it shakes, the tension building towards the moment when the ground cracks and it travels far and wide and swallows everything whole. I'm still waiting for that. A week has gone by and it won't come.

I hear Ashely finally get connected and explain the situation to the 911 operator. I'm a nice person, I'll let her talk in peace.

"You know why this is happening, don't you? Have you told her?" I ask him.

"You're out of your FUCKING MIND."

"You're right. I am." I reply icily.

"Why are you doing this?"

Really, kid? Now you want to be a dumb jock?

"Tell the truth and I'll go easy on you, Michael. I'll let your pretty face stay untouched." I walk towards him and they both run around the car. "But your kneecaps? Well, I'm coming for them."

"Why are you doing this?" Ashley cries, repeating her lover's words. They're essentially trapped. I mean they could run the two miles through the woods out to where the road is, but Michael dear isn't wearing shoes and they both don't have jackets, they're barely dressed.

And it's cold as fuck right now. For them at least. I'm already ice cold.

"Ask the love of your life." I snarl. "He's the reason why José is in the hospital and on life support."

"That is not my fucking fault." He screeches.

"OH BUT IT FUCKING IS YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT." I scream back at him. "You are the reason why all of this is happening. If you don't confess, I will go for Ashley's face. Do you want her ruin on your conscience too?"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" He screams back at me again. I have got to hand it to him, he's really committed to his version of the truth.

"OH BUT YOU DID." I scream back, "YOU DID MANY THINGS, MICHAEL. THINGS THAT I KNOW OF. JOSÉ MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SPEAK RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN AND I HAVE PROOF. WAIT TILL I TELL EVERYONE ABOUT–" the sounds of sirens travel the air and seconds later, in my periphery I see red and blue lights flashing and the hum of the engine getting closer. Two squad cars screech to a halt about 15 feet away from us.

"Drop the bat, Steele." A stern voice orders me through the car PA system.

Well, well. If it isn't the big dog himself. Sheriff Doyle.

"Look Michael, your Daddy came to help you." I sneer at him and bash in the rear windshield on purpose. It startles him and throws the bat to the ground over the yelling from the squad cars and hold my hands up.

I'm done.

"I know you miss him but you can't ruin your future like this, Annie. It's not what he would've wanted. He said it."

I don't care. He's supposed to be here.

"He is my person, Dad." My voice cracks, I'm not ready to let go. Not yet. I still have hope.

"It's you and me against the world, Annie." José smiles.

"It sure is." I sigh dreamily. New York ain't ready for us.

The short drive back to the house is in complete silence. Going straight up to my room, Dad asks me if I want dinner. I don't reply. I have no desire to eat, how can I? The only hunger I have is a rage. A burning rage that nothing can wash away. The only person I want to talk to, want to eat with and sleep with is out of my reach and hanging on by a thread.

The night is spent tossing and turning and when morning comes, it feels no different than the day before. It's all a blur and colorless.

"Annie, honey…" Dad knocks on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I murmur. The door creaks open and I feel him walk closer. He sits on the edge of my bed and beckons me to look at him, I sit up and look into his eyes. They're red and full of unshed tears.

He's got bad news and I know what it is.

"They pulled José off of life support."


A/N: Eager to hear what you think!