I'm sorry I had to do this, I cried while I was writing it, please review and tell me what you think and if someone wants me to add something to the storyline I'll be glad to receive PM or you can tell me in the reviews.
The commotion downstairs woke Elsie up. She rubbed her eyes and looked around. It was dark outside, and the lights had gone off a while ago. She sat on the bed, her head clear and the coughing very light. She turned the lamp on her night stand on to find an empty room. She looked at the clock. It was well past one o'clock. It was too late for Charles to be up, and if something had happened or the children had woken up they would have woken the both of them. She picked her robe from the chair in front of her mirror and walked downstairs. She could hear hushed voices in the Hall; she opened the green door and picked out. The door cricked and everyone turned to look at her. Some were crying, others had concerned faces and others couldn't even meet her eyes. She felt a bit uneasy at this, so she closed the door and walked down to the kitchen. It was surprising how many people were gathered in the Hall at one in the morning. But it was more surprising to find the entire staff in the Servants Halls.
-Excuse me? - She knocked on the door.
-Elsie, what are you doing up? You have to go back to bed.
-I'm feeling fine Mrs. Patmore. What are you all doing up?
-Nothing.
-It can't be "nothing". I've seen people gathered in the Hall. They were crying and in mourning.
-It doesn't matter. - She heard sobs among the servants and Anna looking at her with sad eyes.
-What is going on?
-I've told you, now go back to bed, you need to rest.
-I've rested enough Mrs. Patmore. –A nervous feeling was creeping up her throat.- What is going on? Where's Charles?
-I can't tell you. I just can't.
-At least tell me where's Charles?
-I don't know. He left. An hour ago or so.
-Beryl, this is very odd.
-Look, I can't tell ye anything. Go upstairs and maybe they will tell you.
-Okay. Now everyone to bed. You look positively dreadful.
Elsie turned around and up the stairs. The green door was ajar, so she pushed it a bit more open and stepped outside. Silence fell around the Hall, everyone staring at her. She felt as if she had stepped into a party uninvited. Cora stepped in her direction but stopped mid-step; tears running down her cheeks.
-My Lady, what's wrong?
-Oh, I'm so sorry Elsie. So sorry.
-Sorry? Whatever do you mean?
-We thought he would get better. We really did. Even Dr. Clarkson said this morning that he would get out of this one.
-He? Get out of this one? I don't seem to follow My Lady.
-Carson hasn't told you?
-Tell me what? –her heart pounded against her chest.
-I can't bring myself to tell you. I believe Carson its outside, and he probably needs you. You will need each other.
-You are scaring me My Lady.
-I'm sorry. Better go outside.
Slowly she made her way to the door, her bare feet patting the floor. Everyone stared at her as she made her way to the front entrance and opened it. She turned her head and saw Cora crying slightly, her head against her husband's shoulder. She made her way outside to find Charles sitting on the floor. This was so unlike him, he would never sit on the floor.
-Charles? – He turned to look at her, his eyes red.
-What are you doing up? - His voice raspy and sharp.
-The commotion woke me up. What's got into you? You've never acted like this before.
-I don't how to tell you this.
-Tell me what? Everyone has been avoiding the issue, and I would like to know what has the house in mourning.
-You might want to sit down.
-I don't want to sit down; I want you to tell me what is going on?
-Okay. Alright. I had hoped I would never have to tell you this, but... – He stood up and took her hands. - Our… God this is so difficult. Our child… Richard…he's…He was fine this morning, but… Dr. Clarkson tried everything; I swear it, but…
-But what Charles Carson?!
-I'm afraid he's… he's passed away.
She felt as if she had just been hit with a ton a bricks, her head spinning and a fog clouding her thoughts. After a few seconds she burst out laughing. Charles stared blankly at her, her action completely unexpected. She couldn't stop laughing, her stomach had started to hurt from it, tears were forming in her eyes and she couldn't breathe. Charles shook her, shook her until silence fell around them again.
-Are you okay Elsie? - She was flushed and was having a hard time breathing.
-And now is when you tell me is all a joke and he's upstairs in the nursery, right? Right?
-He's not upstairs my love and I'm afraid he will never be again. He's passed away a few hours ago.
-No. No, you are wrong. You told me he was fine, that he's was getting better.
-Elsie, I'm so sorry. He's no longer here with us.
-Charles, you are wrong.-she released herself from his grip and walked backwards, away from him.- You are wrong, you have to be. He's not… he can't be…
-We tried it Elsie, we really did, but he's dead.
She stared blankly at him, her mouth open, her arms embracing herself. She felt dizzy, memories running through her mind. He wanted to learn how cars worked, he loved cars; he had told her he wanted to help the chauffer with the cars a few weeks ago. He had had the biggest smile on his lips Elsie had ever seen when he had told her about it. The memories of his first word, how he had started walking and running in his nappy in no time, exploring the chimney, getting coal all over, but oh lord how happy he had been then. She remembered that one time when he had left the nursery and ended up in her Ladyship's room, asleep on the bed. Cora had found him, and had let him sleep there for that evening. He was an angel, always coming up with the most funny and curios plans and ideas. She locked eyes with Charles and felt the worst pain in her chest she had ever experienced in her life. It felt as if she was being ripped open, stabbed in the heart and burned alive. Tears were now falling down her cheeks. She screamed. It was a scream filled with pain, loss, terror… She fell on her knees, crying her heart out. It couldn't be true, he had dreams, he was too young. He was her baby. Charles drew her closer into his arms, her tears burning him, her screams breaking his heart slowly. He kissed her hair, his own tears free. She was grabbing his sleeves trying to escape the pain, but it wouldn't go. Why didn't it go? It hurt too much.
-It's okay, he's… he's in a better place now… He's with your… with your parents… they will take care of him.
-He must have been so scared… And I wasn't there to hold him… I wasn't there to hold him… I wasn't there…
She screamed again, the pain in her chest indescribable. She cried, tried to cry the pain away. She hadn't been there holding her baby, waving him goodbye as her parents carried him to the other side throw the light. She hadn't even seen her baby, all alone in that hospital. She couldn't bear it. It was all her fault, if she had insisted on going he might have been alive now. Her baby was gone, and with him part of her soul. She didn't have the strength to get up, the only thing she wanted to do was cry, cry until the pain disappeared. He wanted to take it away, wanted her to be happy again, but she would never be fully happy anymore. Everyone was standing near the door, watching the scene with heartbroken stares, between sobs and tears. They had never seen her breaking this way, is as if she had been made out of glass and had broken right in front of their eyes.
-It's okay. We are here. We will take care of you.
-Who will… who will take care… take care of Richard? He can't… He's never been… without me. And now he's… he's all alone… and I can't protect him. My baby… - She let herself go, no strength left in her.
-He'll be okay. He has… your parents, and mines… He'll be waiting for us. He will.
-It hurts… It hurts too much… I wasn't there… I wasn't there Charles…I wasn't there…
-You were. I know you were. He knows you were. We were all there.
