Disclaimer: See the Prologue
Chapter 3 – A Pilot's Pain
Shinji Ikari, the Third Child and pilot of Evangelion Unit-01, looked like.
'I feel so dirty,' he thought to himself, angry and sad at himself.
SUBJECT: Shinji Ikari, Male, Age 15
POSITION: Pilot of Unit-01
CLEARANCE: Level 3
CURRENT GUARDIAN: Maj. Misato Katsuragi
Subject is deemed PRIORITY ONE.
Evaluation completed. Running Evaluation History of Subject.
Evaluation History
Birth of Subject. Mother Yui Ikari, Father Gendo Ikari
Death of Subject Ikari, Subject's mother. Abandonment by Gendo Ikari, causing significant mental trauma.
Arrival in Tokyo-03 and Battle with Sachiel, Third Angel. Defeated Angel. Survived.
Battle with Samshel, Fourth Angel. Defeatad Survived.
Battle with Ramiel, Fifth Angel. Defeated Angel. Survived, but with critical mental damage.
Battle with Gaghiel, Sixth Angel. Defeated Angel. Survived.
Battle with Israfel, Seventh Angel. Defeated Angel with highly disciplined tactics with the use of Subject Asuka Langley Sohryu. Survived.
Battle with Matareal, Ninth Angel. Defeated Angel with combined force involving Subjects Sohryu and Rei Ayanami. Survived.
Battle with Sahaqueil, Tenth Angel. Defeated Angel with combined force involving Subjects Sohryu and Ayanami. Survived.
Battle with Leliel, Twelfth Angel. Defeated Angel but barely survived.
Battle with Bardiel/Unit-03, Thirteenth Angel. Unwillingly defeated Angel and caused severe mental trauma over Subject's friend, Touji Suzuhara, being the pilot. Subject resigned from NERV for a short period.
Battle with Zeruel, Fourteenth Angel. Defeated Angel and Subject's EVA, Unit-01, absorbed the Super Solenoid Engine, which is currently causing alarm.
Battle with Armisael, Sixteenth Angel. Survived only with self-destruct by Subject Ayanami and Unit-00. Increased Mental Trauma.
Befriending of Tabris, Seventeenth Angel. Unwillingly killed Angel, disguised as Kaowra Nagisa.
End Evaluation History
Subject has passed Evaluation with flying colours. He has far exceeded estimate expectations. Subject is showing limitless potential in aiding our cause.
Subject must be preserved at all costs until given employment opportunities.
No further comment at this time.
Most days, he would feel bad, almost abysmal beyond reason; but this day was different. He felt terrible, not just because the only person who truly cared about him, Kaowra Nagisa, was killed by him; not because of that little sexual 'indiscretion' towards a comatose Asuka Langley Sohryu; but because of his who life up to this point.
As everyone regrettably knows, his father, the commander Gendo Ikari abandoned him, when he was just around 4, after his mother Yui was supposedly killed in an experiment with Uni-01. He grew up as angst-ridden outcast, who's only purpose is to pilot that purple monstrosity for NERV and his bastard father.
'Why can't I just die?' he thought again, 'I let everybody down.'
He walked through the dark corridors of NERV, everyone he passed couldn't help by glimpse at the commander's son. They all felt sorry for him, but that didn't help a thing.
He sat down on a bench, recollecting more on his pitiful existence. He stopped when he thought about Asuka, comatose in the infirmary.
Did he love her? Behind her abusive, superiority complex shell is there someone with true feelings? Has all these months of grudging living together brought them closer?
Shinji smiled a bit at that thought, but it quickly disappeared when reality kicked in. Asuka believes him to be a spineless baka.
But that's just her opinion, her own bitch opinion.
Meanwhile, Misato had just finished showing Gordon around the facility.
"What do you think of NERV, Dr. Freeman?" Misato asked.
Gordon smiled lightly and replied, "It reminds me of where I was last assigned.
Misato looked at him, interested, "Where was that? NERV-01, NERV-02?"
Gordon's mind stopped at that word: NERV-02, Nevada. When the S2 experimentation with Unit-04 went horribly wrong and destroyed the facility, the underground Black Mesa Research Facility actually heard it's distant rumble. Las Vegas went up in smoke and all life in the blast radius was gone in a second.
"Dr. Freeman?" Misato queried, "Hey, Freeman-san!"
Gordon came back to reality, "Oh…er…pardon me."
Misato looked at him, puzzled. This guy has only being here for an hour and is already just as complex as everyone else she knows.
"I was just about to say," Gordon said, "I was at…"
They found Shinji sitting down on a bench. Misato smiled.
"Hey, it's Shinji," Misato said, happily, "Hey Shinji!"
The boy looked up at his guardian and smiled a bit.
"Misato-san," Shinji greeted, acknowledging her presence unenthusiastic.
"I like you to meet Dr. Gordon Freeman," Misato introduced Gordon, "He's a new part of the science team."
Shinji nodded and stretched out his hand. They shook, Gordon sensed something strange about this kid.
"Hello there," Gordon said warmly, "Shinji…er…"
"Ikari," Shinji added.
Ikari! This is the commander's kid? This kid is a pilot for one of those towering monstrosities.
'Shit,' Gordon thought, 'No wonder he looks like death.'
Shinji could tell Gordon didn't look interested in him. He was just another one of those people who always saw through him. Their hands parted.
"I'm…pleased to be working with you," Gordon managed to say, shaking himself out of his thoughts, which was going through his head a mile a minute.
"Yes," Shinji agreed.
They heard the PA
Dr Freeman, please report to the EVA Cages.
"That's me," Gordon said, smiling, "I'll see you around then."
Shinji nodded. Gordon turned and headed for the cages.
Misato had just overseen Shinji and Freeman's first encounter. It was like they instantly connected.
"Shinji?"
"Yes, Misato-san?"
"Is there something you want to tell me about?" she asked, concerned. She noticed him looking really down on himself.
"Nothing…nothing at all," Shinji replied bluntly.
Misato didn't buy it, "You sure?"
"Yes."
"Ok," Misato finished, deciding to let Shinji sort himself out for now.
She headed for the cages, leaving Shinji to himself and his pain.
