Major Wooing (or How to Woo a Major in Ten Easy Steps)

Chapter 7

Summary: Be careful what you play with, people might get the wrong (or right) ideas.

6. Don't become best friends before the relationship gets romantic

According to the article, it wasn't wise to become best friends prior to the relationship becoming romantic, in that there had to first be a public display of affection such as kissing and/or hand holding.

Rodney thought the rule sucked eggs.

There was, of course, no mention of how to go about initiating this public display of affection. There was also a lack of detail as to what constituted such a public display of affection. Did there have to be witnesses? Or was it merely that the event should take place in a public environment, regardless of who was there?

Given the possible consequences of having witnesses and the fact that Rodney didn't care for making public displays of affection, he decided a deserted, public location would be good enough.

But how to initiate such a display was difficult to plan out. Thoughts of a frontal versus a stealth attack raced around for a short while before he discarded the entire idea and returned once again to his data.

It was interesting to note that the Major had actually made it through the first seven of the encrypted files on various outdated theories that Rodney had planted. As soon as the Major reached the mathematical equations, Rodney decided it would be a good tactic to drop in on him - frequently - with any number of silly requests. Preferably while wearing his blue shirt.

Running the data through several processes, Rodney discovered another weapon at his disposal.

Apparently the Major liked to stare at his lips. It didn't seem to matter if he was frowning, yelling, laughing or smiling, the Major's gaze was often drawn to Rodney's mouth.

Staring into a mirror, Rodney couldn't imagine that anyone would care for lips that were thin and crooked, but the data was not to be argued with. So he put together another experiment. He would determine which expression seemed to draw the Major's interest the most.

It came down to a tie.

It was a surprise to discover that pouting was a guaranteed attention-getter no matter what the Major's mood or where they were at the time.

And the tie? Well, it wasn't technically an expression…It was something Rodney stumbled upon by accident as he consumed a popsicle one hot afternoon. He discovered that sucking on anything remotely phallic caused the Major's eyes to darken and dilate and his breathing to hitch. Those physical indicators were often followed by a sudden departure of the immediate area.

"Cease!"

Rodney looked up from his work to frown at Zelenka. "What?"

"All that - that flirting with every inanimate object you touch! Kavanagh arrives momentarily and will never depart if he witnesses such fornication!"

"What!"

Zelenka sighed in exasperation. "Why else do you think he comes here? Why else does he drop by? Why else does pony-tailed American offer assistance with projects not assigned to his team?"

" -...- " It took a moment for Rodney to collect his scattered thoughts and for the implication of what Zelenka was suggesting to sink in. "Kavanagh!" That wasn't a squeak, it wasn't.

Zelenka rolled his eyes. "Please, just leave! I will inform Kavanagh you are at meeting or saving universe once again. Hurry! Go! Go!"

Rodney barely had time to protest as the Czech literally pushed him out of the lab and left him standing, stunned, in the middle of the hall desperately clutching his laptop and paperwork.

"McKay."

Rodney jumped, startled. The papers went floating down to the floor and he barely kept hold of the laptop as he stared at the Major with a 'deer in the headlights' look.

"Major." Rodney busied himself with picking up the fallen papers and the Major bent down to help. When their hands brushed, Rodney stood up and looked up into eyes so wide there was little of the iris left. A thrill raced through him and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

"You have something on your chin, right there." The Major drawled softly. Glancing down at Rodney's full hands, he added, "Here…Let me get that for you." And leaning forward, the Major licked him clean.

And the planet ceased it's rotation.

"Veggie burger with barbeque sauce MRE?" The Major whispered, so close his breath was warm against sensitive skin.

Rodney could only nod. He was sure his brain was still in there, but for the moment it had completely deserted him.

A seductive grin crossed the Major's face. "My favorite." And with that, he sauntered off down the hall, whistling one of Rodney's favorite songs.

Rodney's body shuddered in delight and the papers floated through the air to land on the floor once more.

...tbc

A/N: I alsothought this rule sucked eggs because it was difficult to write this chapter. It took several re-writes to get it anywhere close to what I wanted. Thanks to both Beth and Lorelle for all their help in checking it over and offering suggestions. Thanks to everyone who have left feedback, it is greatly appreciated!