Be sure to read Chapters 17 and 18 before you start this one. I updated all of these chapters (I also have Chapter 20's final draft done, which will be posted tomorrow) around the same time, and I don't want any readers to skip any by accident.
To spare you a "back button" just in case you have read it, know that in the last two chapters, Trunks and Pan went shopping for jackets and had an unpleasant encounter with robbers.
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CHAPTER 19:
Trunks' Big Surprise
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Pan stuck out two fingers as Giru bleeped and held out his own hand, all three appendages extended. "Good job, Giru! You just did 'paper' and that beats out a rock, but because I did scissors, I beat you! See, scissors cuts paper!" Pan imitated a pair of scissors snipping across Giru's fingers. "Wanna try it again?"
"-giru giru-...Giru beat Pan! -giru giru-"
"No, you need to have had a rock to beat me. You did paper."
"Giru play again!! -giru giru-"
Pan laughed and leaned back on the sofa. "You silly 'bot, this is the third time I've taught you these rules. Why can't you just save it to your memory banks or something?"
Pan and Giru were on the lounge couch, lying in front of the television which was currently off. Goku was asleep on the floor, tired after having done about three thousand sit-ups that day. That had taken him a long time to do, and Pan had found herself extremely bored. She resorted to teaching Giru a new game to play with her so she could have a partner to have fun with. Next, she intended to teach him cards. However, considering he was having a hard enough time comprehending "rock, paper, scissors," she knew she'd have to take it one step at a time.
Pan rolled her eyes and held up her hands before the robot. "Okay, I'll explain it one more time. There are three hand positions. Rock, paper, and scissors. Repeat after me: Rock."
"Rock, -giru giru-..."
"Paper."
"-giru giru-"
"Hey Pan. What are you up to?"
Pan turned to see Trunks entering the doorway and scooted to the side of the couch as he sat down beside her. She gave an exasperated sigh, "Not much. I've discovered that Giru can't understand the concept of a hand game."
"Which game? Rock paper scissors?" Pan nodded and Trunks smiled a bit. "Of course he wouldn't be able to play that game! That game's logic is looped in a cycle of hierarchies. He's probably confused because he believes the winner alternates randomly every time and he doesn't know how to how to beat the odds." He paused a bit and saw a slight look of confusion on her face.
"What?" Pan raised her eyebrow. "What do you mean? He can't understand how to play a game?"
Trunks leaned back and looked up to the ceiling. "No, it's not that. Let's see... How can I best explain this." He cleared his throat and rubbed his hand along Giru while talking. "Giru doesn't have the pragmatic ability encoded into his system to recognize patterns from arbitrary signifiers; and he doesn't have the programming to form structural metaphors or symbols from displacement." He turned to look at Pan, smiling. He hoped that explanation helped.
Pan's eyes had gone wide sometime during his explanation, and her mouth hung open in befuddlement. She was beginning to sweat a bit, realizing how intelligent Trunks actually was. And that was supposed to be a clarification?!
"What's wrong, Pan? Was it something I said?"
"No," She would never admit she had no idea what he was just talking about. She'd look up those words later if she remembered them. She looked over to Giru, who was practicing making the 'scissors' formation with his hands. So much for that game. "Augh, I'm so bored." Pan leaned forward on the sofa and cupped her face in her hands as her elbows rested on her legs.
Goku was still sleeping soundly on the floor not even several feet away from the sofa. He was giving off slight snores, which were a lot quieter than that what he usually emitted every night. Pan seriously thought of kicking him out of the bedroom to sleep on this exact couch several times. Her grandpa could seriously fall asleep anywhere. Pan sighed and looked toward Trunks, who was still leaning back on the sofa and presently staring at the ceiling.
"When are we going to get to the next planet?" Pan yawned a bit and closed her eyes.
"In about two days. Well, no... more like 38 hours or something like that, so less than two days." There was a large pause as Pan sat there silently and Trunks stared unblinking at the white ceiling. Trunks suddenly sat up and looked toward Pan, but his gaze out of focus as he was forming a thought. "Hey Pan... I was thinking..."
"Yeah?" Pan opened her eyes and leaned her head a bit to look at him.
"I was thinking about turning the heating system off, so we could practice being in a cold environment before actually experiencing it. It might seem a little less chilly on the planet that way." He stressed again, "A little less chilly."
"Sure, I don't have a problem with that."
"Yeah, but what about Goku?"
They both turned to look at the sleeping Saiyan. Pan huffed, "He deserves to suffer in the cold for his unbelievably idiotic stupidity."
"Pan, I wouldn't put it that harshly..."
"How else could I say it?" She hissed at the thought, "I can't believe he spent ALL his money on frozen foods and didn't get a jacket!!!"
"Shhh, Pan, you'll wake him up!"
"Let him wake up! He had enough money to buy a whole castle with servants and slaves kneeling at his feet with fresh cutleries, and he went and spent it on every single frozen food item in every last food market on that entire planet!!!"
"I know it was stupid, but he's really going to regret it. Consider it a belated punishment. You don't have to rub it in."
"What are we going to do with all the food?! There must at least a million zenie's worth of food in his capsule refrigerator. He can't possibly eat it all."
Trunks smiled and leaned forward to look at his hands. "You know, Pan, it's partly your fault that it happened."
"What did I do!? I didn't tell him to go do that!"
Trunks looked up and pointed to her briefly to prove his point, "You told him you wouldn't cook for a week. So, he got desperate. You know that Goku tends to overreact when he finds out he won't be getting home-cooked meals."
They both turned to their heads to look at Goku, who stirred in his slumber on the floor. The boy let out a big yawn and rolled over, mumbling something about being hungry. Pan grunted. How typical of him.
Something heavy pressed on Pan's shoulder and she turned her head slightly to see Giru standing on it, stretching out two 'scissors' hands as if giving peace signs. She suddenly forgot her irritation and began to chuckle at the robot. "Giru, I like that! You should pose like that more often."
"What pose?" Trunks turned his head to see Giru and grinned as memories of a similar pose formed in his mind, "Oh wow! He looks like just Hercule when he does that."
"You're right, Trunks! He does look like Gramps. Hey Giru, can you say 'I'm the champion of the world' for me?"
Trunks scoffed with a grin as Giru began to recite his new catchphrase. Mr. Satan was possibly the most outrageous case he'd ever know in his lifetime. He only had several opportunities to meet him in person other than at martial arts tournaments. The only time they ever really talked for more than several minutes was at Gohan and Videl's wedding so many years ago. Trunks must have been around thirteen at the time, but Hercule was still ever the showman almost sixteen years later. Just like Goku, Pan's other grandfather, Hercule Satan, would never change.
"You shouldn't start training him to be like Hercule; it might permanently damage his circuits." Trunks chuckled, "His ego could inflate to be too large for his frame to handle."
Pan looked over with a frown, "Well, what else am I supposed to do? I'm so bored."
A few minutes passed in an awkward silence, neither one having anything interesting to say. Sudenly, Trunks' eyes brightened and a large smile crossed his face. "I have an idea!" Trunks stood up and faced her, "I'll be right back. I'm going to turn the thermostat down and grab our jackets." He put his thumbs in his pockets and shifted his weight onto his left leg casually. "And then... well... I have something that you may enjoy. We can watch it after I make us some popcorn."
"What is it?"
He winked, "It's a surprise." He stood straight then headed for the door, "Wait here."
Pan watched Trunks leave the room and felt her eyebrows knotting down again. She leaned her head against Giru who was sitting on her shoulder. She spoke aloud, as if nobody were listening. "I wonder what he's going to get. A surprise?" She brought her feet up to the couch and sat cross-legged, watching Goku snore peacefully on the floor.
What could possibly be a surprise to her? It had been almost a year, and she'd been with Trunks and her grandpa every single day. What could he have been hiding from her? What could possibly be so interesting that he'd not tell her what it is, hoping she'd be delighted at the surprise? She wasn't stupid. She assumed it was something to 'watch' on the television because of how he mentioned getting popcorn, but she'd already seen all the movies in their collection. She wasn't in the mood to sit down and watch an old film again. But, then again, she was so bored, anything would be better than just sitting around and doing nothing.
"Giru the champion of the world! -giru giru-" The robot prodded her face. "Pan champion of the universe!"
"Yes!" She brightened at the idea, "I like that! 'Pan Son, Champion of the Universe.' I could get used to that title!" She turned her attention to Giru and grinned. He seemed to have some common sense after all. "Okay, I want to teach you another game while we're waiting. This one is simple. It's called 'thumb war'."
"Thumb war, -giru guru- ..."
Pan picked the robot up from her shoulder and placed him on her lap. "Alright, this is what you do. You hold out your hand like this, see?" She explained the rules of her new game to the patient robot, careful to keep her instructions simple. "Wanna give it a shot?"
"-giru giru-"
After Pan and Giru began to practice, Pan found that she had too much of an advantage over Giru. She sighed and pondered the problem for a bit. It wasn't fun without real competition. "Okay how about this, I'm going to switch to my other hand. It might be more even that way."
"-giru giru-"
They battled it out for several minutes before Pan grew bored again. She felt tempted to call out to Trunks, but she didn't want to wake her grandpa, and she was way too lazy to actually get up off the sofa to go find him. He did ask her to wait there, though. If she found him, she might accidentally discover his 'surprise.' Where was he? Why was he taking so long?
"Giru, go find Trunks for me and tell him I'm getting impatient."
Giru bleeped happily, "Giru, champion of the world! Giru find Trunks -giru giru-!" He gave out two peace signs and then flew out the door. Pan giggled a bit under her breath. That robot was such a character.
After Giru left, Pan suddenly found herself alone, even though Goku was sprawled out on the floor like a rug. She hated being alone. She was never one to keep her thoughts to herself, and she could never understand how Trunks could like to sit alone and think in that cockpit all the time.
Perhaps this would be the perfect time to look up those words Trunks used before, but she forgot what he said already. She got the point, though, that Giru couldn't learn complicated games like "rock paper scissors." There went her dreams of teaching him poker. She grinned. First, she'd have to learn how to play it herself.
There was a soft knock on the wall behind her and she twisted around to see Trunks enter holding a gigantic bowl of popcorn with two coats slung over his shoulder. She suddenly got a whiff of it. It smelled so unbelievably good, her mouth started to water. The aroma drifted and quickly scented the whole room.
Goku sprung awake, jumping to his feet in a yelp of glee. All fatigue was disregarded as the smell made its way to his brain. "Popcorn!!"
Trunks was slightly alarmed by the dexterity of the boy who had just been snoring just a few seconds before. "No, Goku, stay back. Stay back! This is our popcorn. Go make your own."
"Aww," Goku rubbed his stomach and whiffing the aroma of the snack, "But I'm so hungry..."
Pan let out a frustrated groan, "Augh! Grandpa, go make yourself one of your frozen dinners."
"But I don't want a frozen dinner. I want popcorn."
Trunks sighed audibly, "Goku, I just spent a lot of time in the kitchen waiting for all these bags to pop. There's no way I'm going to surrender this. This is mine and Pan's." Trunks nodded his head to the doorway, "The capsule with all the popcorn bags is still lying out on the counter if you'd like to make yourself some and join us."
"Oh...alright..." Goku rubbed his belly again and glumly dragged his feet toward the door.
Trunks watched the boy leave and let out a breath he had been secretly holding in. He was so afraid that Goku was going to start a scene. He didn't want Goku to ruin his moment of surprise with Pan. This was just too good.
He handed the gigantic bowl to Pan, which she balanced on her lap. He dropped their coats beside her and stood proudly with his hands in his side pockets. Pan gave him a questioning look. "So, is there going to be a surprise or not?"
"There sure is." He smirked as he brought his right hand to his back pocket, pulling out the item he had been hiding. He flashed it quickly in front of her and walked over to the video player. He popped the item in and turned on the television. "You ready for some quality entertainment?"
"Only as long as it has a little more action than the last movie we watched." Pan stuffed some popcorn into her mouth, savoring its flavor and enjoying the fact that the popcorn was still warm.
"Shh, it's starting." Trunks ran over to close the door and shut off the lights as the opening scene began to play.
"There was a time when evil ran rampant in the cities. Crimes were high, thieves lurked in all the shadows, and the world cried out for a hero. Little did they know that their prayers one day would be answered. A great hero had heard their call and came to set things right. Justice would prevail!"
Trunks pushed the coats aside and sat down next to Pan.
She leaned over to him and whispered, "This movie sucks."
"Shhhh, just watch!"
The movie panned in to a young man dressed in black and green, a red cape flowing from his shoulders along with a long white cloth around his head. Black sunglasses shaded his eyes as he stood proudly on top of a building. Dramatic music began to play and reached a climactic note. Suddenly, the man started dancing around and posing like a cheerleader. "I am the defender of liberty and justice! Champion of the weak! Shielder of oppression!" He threw his arms in strange angles, his feet kicking outward, "Take note! Peace will prevail on Earth! Saiyaman is here!"
"What is this? A comedy?"
"Shhhh,"
"Trunks, this is the worst movie I've ever seen!"
One arm went up to point above his head while the other pointed at the camera. His legs were crossed and then he jumped to make them open wide. "Love is the answer, not war!" Both hands were above him now as he danced into a new pose, "I have come to set the captives free!" His voice rose, and so did half of his limbs, "Evil will shatter when it hears my name!" His arms rigidly pointed in front of him and then did a karate-chop in the air. "Now oppressors will have nowhere to hide! I am the Great Saiyaman!"
"Oh I get it, this is that bug guy you were talking about before? He doesn't look like a bug to me."
"Just wait."
The title screen "THE GREAT SAIYAMAN MOVIE" showed up in big bold letters as an orchestrated soundtrack began to play. Trunks stuffed some popcorn into his mouth, moaning in delight when he realized how absolutely perfect he cooked it. He grinned over at Pan. She really had no idea. This was just too funny.
"How old is this movie?" Pan looked at him as the opening credits were playing.
"I was eight when they filmed it." Trunks thought a moment, "So, I guess, about twenty years ago?"
"I can tell. The picture looks a bit outdated." Pan stuffed her mouth full of popcorn and began to chew, "am komshidring juh fact jat duh skrip ish sho bab."
"Oh no, it isn't just the script." Trunks chuckled. "That's actually how the actor was. In fact, that opening scene was the real Great Saiyaman himself. It was a pleasant cameo, don't you think?"
"Whup?" Pan swallowed her mouthful and repeated herself, "What? That was the 'real' Great Saiyaman? With those awful poses and that ugly outfit?"
"The outfit is pretty bad. Everyone agreed about that one. You should see the helmet."
The next scene opened up to a car chase: two criminals, a human and a giant boar man, shooting from a blue convertible at a woman in an orange car. They sped down a long highway, one of the two criminals on the cell phone with a guy that Pan assumed to be his boss. All kinds of accidents were happening, cars being turned over, explosions everywhere. It was actually an interesting scene until Mr. Saiyaman showed up. He flew in from the sky and landed with the same outfit he was wearing before, but instead of sunglasses and a long turban, he wore an ugly orange bug head with antennae and a blue shield. "Stop you fiend!" He stopped the blue convertible in its tracks by merely reaching out and catching the car, inertia and all. It was quite impressive for a lowly bug like him. He rigidly reached out one arm above him while the other lay at his waist. "Guardian of the city...." His outstretched hand made a curve to resemble a semi-circle movement, "I am the one and only..." He pushed his arm back as if reading a punch while his other arm was outstretched as if having already had delivered a punch, except his hand was straight. "...Great Saiyaman!"
"Oh wow, I'm so scared." Pan rolled her eyes and munched on more popcorn.
The movie went on, about several mafia criminal guys that were trying to kill some woman because she was a spy. The Great Saiyaman's real identity was some detective guy who had fallen in love with this spy woman, the one from the initial chase scene, but she rejected him because she was in love with the Great Saiyaman and didn't realize that the detective and the Great Saiyaman were actually the same person. There were a lot of explosions, the justice fighter saved the day each time, and the movie dragged on.
They were at a scene where the spy woman's niece was tied to a subway line and the Great Saiyaman was rushing to help the girl, when all of a sudden, Goku stepped into the room with a big bowl of burnt popcorn. It stunk up the whole room with the smell of smoke. Pan turned around and held her nose. "Ahhh, Grandpa, that smells so bad. How could you ruin all that popcorn?!"
"Well, it said that each bag takes 6 minutes, and since I put 10 bags in there, I figured I'd wait 60 minutes like it said."
Trunks groaned, "Goku, I'm not even going to comment on this one. Just be glad the microwave didn't explode from what you just did."
"It's okay, even if it's burnt. I'm hungry and I'll eat it anyway." Goku popped some brown kernels in his mouth and made crunching noises. "Hey, what are you guys watching?"
Pan raised her hands as if pretending to be impressed, "The Great Saiyaman."
Trunks looked over to Goku and nodded, "She's never seen it before."
"Oh yeah, I remember the Great Saiyman! Hahaha, wasn't he so silly for thinking that up? I mean, honestly, what did he think he was doing, running around in that awful costume? And to think your mother designed it."
"Shh, Goku, she doesn't know that!"
Pan turned her head to Trunks, "What is he talking about?"
Trunks sighed, "Now look what you did, Goku. You ruined it."
"How does your mother have anything to do with this?"
"Uh..." Trunks glanced at Goku and prayed he would keep his silence, "Um.... My mom knows him personally...?" He really hoped that would drop the topic.
Goku, however, wasn't able to read Trunks' body language, and laughed, "Not nearly as well as Pan does."
Goku was killing it. He had to shut that kid up or get rid of him somehow, "Goku, why don't you go make some more popcorn?"
"What's going on? How do I know this guy?"
Goku sat down on the armrest of the sofa and nudged Trunks, "Go on, tell her."
Trunks groaned and paused the film, sitting up straight. "I'm not sure if this is exactly the best way to break the news to her."
"Well, she's gotta find out sometime, right?" Goku gave a toothy grin.
Trunks wasn't sure how to word it. He was intending on telling her afterward, and this threw off all his plans. He glanced at Pan who was looking at him expectantly. "The Great Saiyman..."
"Yes?"
He took a breath, "The Great Saiyaman is actually..." he paused, "Gohan."
Pan stared at him blankly. The silence in the air was like a thick blanket smothering them and all sound except for the high pitched hum of the television set. It seemed like a minute ticked by with Pan staring unblinkingly at him.
The silence was broken by a tiny disturbance in Pan's chest, slowly spreading through her body, causing her to tremble slightly. It grew to a low rumble from her diaphragm, a slow shuddering movement that shook her shoulders. It spread to her face as her lips quivered and her eyes brightened. Suddenly, it burst out with an eruption of laughter, Pan falling back against the armrest, barely able to breathe as she clutched her stomach and kicked her legs, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was just so funny to see her like that, Trunks started laughing too, unable to control himself, as if the laughter were contagious. Goku joined in and spilled some of his charcoaled snack on the floor. Whether it be Gohan in a bug outfit, Pan's laughing fit, or Goku's burnt popcorn, everything just seemed so funny.
"Oh wow," Pan wiped some tears from her eyes. "That was the best joke I've ever heard. That was so funny!!!! Wow, and I actually almost believed it for a second, heheheheh.."
Goku grinned and pat Trunks on the back twice, "No, Pan, what Trunks said is true. That's how your father and your mother became close. Outside of high school, they were crime fighters for a long time, both the Saiyman and Saiyaman II."
Pan's smile vanished, her eyes narrowing. A cold angry look replaced her once humored face. "My Papa would never do anything that ridiculous! Those awful clothes, and what the heck are those poses?! Why did he say such stupid and corny things?!" She glared at Trunks, "Go back to the beginning! Right now!"
"The beginning?"
"The beginning, before the credits, when he's doing the cameo. I want to see it again."
"But we're in the middle of the movie!"
"Go back NOOOWWWW!!!!!" She threw her fists up in the air and then jumped for the remote which lay by Trunks.
He grabbed it away just in time and sprang up. "Wow, okay, okay! I didn't think you'd get so mad. My goodness..." He clicked the button that would return them to the menu screen and then started the movie over.
"There was a time when evil ran rampant in the cities. Crimes were high, thieves lurked in all the shadows, and the world cried out for a hero..."
"Skip this part. Go straight to the Great Saiyaman."
Trunks fast-forwarded to the man standing on the building.
"I am the defender of liberty and justice! Champion of the weak! Shielder of oppression! Take note! Peace will prevail on Earth! Saiyaman is here!"
Pan ogled at the screen, her mouth hitting the floor.
"Love is the answer, not war! I have come to set the captives free! Evil will shatter when it hears my name! Now oppressors will have nowhere to hide! I am the Great Saiyaman!"
"Turn it off! Turn it off!!!"
Trunks shut off the film and with another button, shut off the T.V.
Pan stood and crossed her arms, glaring at Trunks, "How could you let my Papa get away with that awful and embarrassing routine?!" She clutched her hair as if agonized by the idea of it all. "And here I thought I was so proud of him for defeating Cell, while he went and pulled THIS!!!" She pointed at Goku, "And you Grandpa!!! You let him do this?"
"Hey, hey, don't put any blame on me. I was in the Other World at the time. I only got to see him near the end of his little Great Saiyaman saga."
"Yeah, Pan, Goku wasn't even there when Gohan started doing that."
"I can't believe you just stood there and watched him make a fool of himself, Trunks."
"What was I supposed to do?! I was only seven when he started running around like that. Of course I thought it looked pretty bad, but I didn't want to say anything to him. Especially in front of my mom..."
"Why would your mom have anything to do with it?" Pan narrowed her eyes.
"Well, she did design that outfit. She might have taken it personally."
Pan threw up her arms in anguish, "That's it! I have lost all respect for everyone! I can't believe I'm related to this family! No wonder Vegeta calls us all clowns!!!"
Goku yawned and stuffed his mouth, "Non worry Bam, vat wuzh chwenty yearsh ugo."
"Yeah, and I'm hearing about this for the first time today of all days?"
Trunks frowned as he stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Come on Pan, don't go overboard about this. It was supposed to be a funny joke, to show this to you. I really thought we'd be able to get a good laugh."
Pan slapped Trunks' hand away. "Well you did. And now you're just going to laugh at me for being related to that bug."
"Nobody's laughing at you, Pan."
Goku nodded, "Yeah, Pan, I'm just as closely related to him as you are, and I'm not upset. You shouldn't take it all out on Gohan, though. Videl ran around dressed up just like him for some time after the whole Buu ordeal."
"My mom too?" Pan looked like she was going to be sick. "I have to get out of this room." She walked toward the door in a daze. "It's either the horrid smell of your burnt popcorn, Grandpa, or it could be the realization that I'm the spawn of two justice-enforcing insects... but I don't feel well. I'm going to bed."
Trunks watched as Pan left the room. He felt so guilty for some reason. He wished there were something he could to do make her happier, but he knew she'd just have to get over it and accept her parents for who they used to be in the past. Nobody had done anything they should be ashamed of. Well... except maybe Pan for losing her temper.
Goku nudged him in the side and winked, "So are we going to continue the movie or are you going to go after her?"
Trunks pretended to ignore him. It was all Goku's fault for butting in and foiling his surprise. He had every intention of breaking the news to her gently and they'd have been able to joke about it. But then he came along with his burnt popcorn and ruined the moment. Trunks turned without looking at the boy and walked out of the room.
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Continued in Chapter 20...