All This Time You've been Hiding in My Heart
Author: Pokari, you know it's not mine
Summary: Severus is pregnant for the last 18 years, and he isn't a Death Eater. Lucius is a spy for the light and Sirius had a big problem here.
Rate: R
Category: Romance, drama
Pairings: Sirius/Severus
Spoiler: book 1 to 5
Warnings: male pregnancy.
Time: 5th year at Hogwarts.
Note: Unbeta-ed
Chapter Five
"Well, where are you going to?" Sirius' lips curled slightly.
"I'm going back to my house."
"Stay, Sev." Sirius spoke softly. "The bed is big enough for the two of us."
Severus looked unsure. He wanted to tell him about this 'other man', but he felt drain out already. It had to wait until tomorrow.
"Come on. I know I had a lot of making up to do, I promise I'll be good tonight."
The hours were spent in silence, no one could sleep but both were too stubborn to be the one who started the conversation, until Sirius couldn't stand it anymore.
"Sev…" Sirius whispered, "Are you sleeping?"
Severus' heart was working extra hard now. He was afraid that Sirius could hear it. 'Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, he would kiss me.' Severus thought to himself.
"Sev…" Sirius shook him lightly, "I need to go to the bathroom now."
Severus blushed, for a moment he really believe that Sirius still want him. And that made him angry at himself. Without he could restrain it, he just snapped at him. "Couldn't you wait until tomorrow to leave me?"
"I'm not leaving you." Sirius frowned. "I really need to go to the bathroom."
"Liar." Severus hissed. "I can see that you're impatient to meet that wolf."
"Remus is a werewolf." Sirius explained. "And you can come with me to the bathroom if you want to."
Severus glared at him; he then slowly lifted the spell. "You have five minutes, stay longer and you can sleep there, after I curse you."
Sirius paled, he knew Severus always did as he said, especially the cursing part, so he tried to finish his business as fast as his still weak body allowed.
"That was fast." Severus smirked. "Did you wash your hands?"
"What you take me for?" Sirius growled. "A five year old boy who couldn't keep himself clean?"
Severus chuckled lightly as he lay back down. When Sirius lay next to him and gently hugged him from behind, he didn't object him; instead he simply waved his wand again to bind Sirius back onto the bed.
"Hey…" Sirius protested weakly.
"Shut up or you'll sleep on the floor." Severus threatened sleepily.
Sirius grinned silently. At least he was allowed to hug the other man. After his initial shock, he realised he didn't really mind with Severus being pregnant. Even though it was hard to believe it, he really wished that the baby Severus was carrying was actually his.
Sirius' hand gently rubbed the more visible lump. His hand kept rubbing until Severus felt asleep. Sirius sighed; he spoke softly as not to wake the man in his arms, "I promise I'll try to be a good father, baby."
Sirius chuckled, it was a weird thing he did but he didn't care. "You might be a son, or a daughter, but I don't care. Since your mummy said I'm your father, then I am. If one day some guy comes to claim that he was the real father, then I'm going to hex him. Because you are mine, little baby, just like your mummy here. You are both mine, and no one can take the two of you from me."
After he finished his speech, Sirius felt better. Soon he too felt asleep. Neither of the men felt the first sign of life in Severus' stomach, the baby gently kicked, as if he was happy to finally getting in touch with its parents' magic.
Ö
"No, you can't Harry." Hermione shook her head. "You can't leave this weekend, nor next weekend, and especially not today."
"WHAT? Why?" Harry looked dejected, he then lower his voice. "But, 'Mione, Ron has promised me that he would cover for me." Harry looked at Ron as if asking for his support, but all he got was a shrug.
Again Hermione shook her head. She looked around the Gryffindor common room; most of their house mate had left for the Great Hall to have breakfast.
"It's your own fault that you can't leave, Harry. You have to serve detention for two weeks remember?"
Harry pouted, he really didn't mean to break the school rule, he just thought that maybe Sirius were hiding at those places, and he might come out if he was the one who looking for him.
Without saying anything at his friends he left for Slytherin dorm, he promised he would meet Draco before classes.
"So?" Draco looked at his smaller friend.
"Hermione said I can't leave because I have to serve detention." Harry almost burst into tears as he told his Slytherin friend.
Draco had talked into him to have lunch at his place, since there were no classes after lunch, the lunch time was more flexible, and no one would notice if they didn't come for lunch.
"Well, I guess we couldn't help it." Draco sighed. "I'll let Sirius know that you miss him."
Harry didn't say anything.
"Come on, let's have breakfast before classes start." Draco gently took Harry's hand.
Harry didn't feel like eating but it the last few days he was used to listen to what the taller boy said, so without complain he let himself being stirred to the Great Hall.
Ö
"How is your sleeping, Severus." Narcissa asked as she pushed the toast toward the pregnant man.
"Wonderful." Severus smiled. He had a wonderful dream about Sirius and his son.
"And you too, I hope." Narcissa asked her cousin with less friendliness.
Sirius only growled.
"Ah, maybe we should ask Madame Pomphrey to check on your head now that you're conscious." Lucius smirked. "She could check on you too, Severus, you look… bigger a lot."
"Well, thank you," Sirius glared. "But there's nothing wrong with my head. And Severus is my business, I can take care of him myself."
"Said the man who can't even leave the bed." Lucius loved to haunt his in-law.
"Oww." Sirius rubbed his had which had been hit none too gently. "What was that for?" Sirius glared at his boyfriend.
"Be polite." Severus finished his breakfast as if nothing happened.
Narcissa shook her head. "You should grow up, Sirius. What would become of Harry if he had you as his role model?"
At the mention of his godson, Sirius' face turned bright. He even smiled at his cousin. "He's coming today, right? I can't remember what he look like now, is he like James or like the serious Lily?"
"Lily isn't that serious, though she had prevented you and James to have too much fun." Narcissa frowned her disagreement of her cousin's hobby of making pranks. "But Harry does look like Lily a lot."
Severus kept silent as he heard Sirius asking about Harry. 'If only he is more enthusiastic about his own baby.' It hurt him that even he forgot about his godson, Sirius still love Harry so much, but he couldn't accept that Severus was carrying his own son.
Sirius frowned when Severus stopped eating. "You have to eat more, Sev, your baby also need good food." He piled some omelette into Severus' plate. "I know nothing about pregnant man, but the baby sure grows fast."
Severus looked at Sirius as if he couldn't believe him. "I thought you don't care about the baby."
"Hey." Sirius was offended. "I might not be the best father but I'm not the worst one too. I know how to take care of my family."
Severus smiled as he slowly ate his omelette. Usually his body couldn't take anything other than plain toast, but now he ate the omelette like it was the most delicious food.
The Malfoys looked at Sirius as if he needed to have his head check, which of course he needed to. They smiled at each other as their guests were too busy looking at each other to notice them.
'At least one thing is going right.' Narcissa thought.
Ö
The last class for that day was Potions, and since Professor Snape sudden resignation, Professor Dumbledore was now teaching that class until he could find someone to fill in the position.
It was to the relieved of the Gryffindors since they won't unnecessarily lost points now, although the class was a little boring because they would only make simply potions that had no chance to cause an explosion.
That day, as always, Harry was paired up with Draco. And no matter how his friend tried to cheer him, he could smile at him. After the class was over, Harry slowly gathered his things.
Most students had left, only Draco, Ron and Hermione was waiting for him when Professor Dumbledore called him. Harry signalled his friends to wait for him outside.
"Harry, my boy." Dumbledore smiled. "You must know why I want to talk to you."
"Yes, sir."
"Well, you are to serve your detention with me." Dumbledore was still smiling at the dejected boy.
"Yes, sir." Harry's voice was so soft it was like he didn't say a word.
"I know you are worried about your godfather, and I believe once you know that he was save you wouldn't do things that would endanger or hurt yourself." Dumbledore said kindly.
"Yes, sir." Harry had new hopes in his eyes.
"I know Draco is going home today, and you get my permission to stay at his place." Dumbledore raised his hand, silencing Harry's cry of joy. "But you must promise me, Harry, that you would do as your guardian told you and wouldn't give any trouble to the Malfoys."
"Yes, sir." Harry smiled. He hugged the old man and was about to leave when the headmaster called him again.
"If anyone asked, just tell them that you spend your detention with me, Harry."
"Yes, sir." Harry grinned.
He ran to Draco. "Did you hear what Professor Dumbledore said, Draco."
"Yes, Harry." Draco laughed. The happy boy was so different from the miserable boy he met before breakfast.
Harry hugged the taller boy. "You'll wait for me, right Draco. I'll pack really fast. You still let me come with you, right?"
"Of course."
"Did you hear that Ron, 'Mione? Draco said I can come with him, so you have to help me, you promise." Harry grinned.
Ron, who was a good deal taller than Harry, affectionately ruffled Harry's hair. "If didn't keep it down, the whole school might hear you, Harry, and you won't be able to leave."
Harry quickly shut his mouth, but he kept smiling as he went to the direction of his dorm. He wanted to fly to his room and just left with Draco, he couldn't wait to see Sirius again.
Draco shook his head. "The old man really loves him, don't you think?"
"Do you envy him?" Hermione glanced at the Slytherin.
Draco shrugged his shoulder. "I love him too, he kinda cute, don't you think?"
Hermione smirked. 'Ron might want to keep Harry away if he found out that Draco loves Harry.'
"Harry." Hermione called her happy friend in a mother tone. "You can leave if you promise that you'll bring your homework with you and finish them."
But even that couldn't wipe Harry's smile away.
Ö
"I didn't break any rules, Professor, I swear. You can ask Draco." Was the first thing Harry said to Severus, when the portkey took him to Malfoy manor.
Severus nodded. "Professor Dumbledore informed us that you'll be coming here with Draco. I believe you want to see Sirius."
"Yes." Harry smiled brightly.
"He'll coming down in a few minutes." Severus smirked. The animagus was still bind on to the bed and the spell would wear of in another minute.
"Let's wait him in the dining room." Narcissa said after her son kissed her cheek.
"Yes, Mrs. Malfoy." Harry blushed. "Thank you for letting me stay."
"Ah, he's so sweet don't you think?" Narcissa wanted to hug the blushing boy.
"Who is?"
Harry turned his head when he heard the new comer's voice. "Sirius."
"Harry?" Sirius looked confused, but when he saw the boy nodding his head, he was assured.
"Sirius." Harry ran to his godfather. "I thought you were dead and I would never see you again." Harry hugged the older man.
"It would take more than a few spells to kill me." Sirius grinned, though he couldn't remember what had caused his misfortune.
Harry took off his glasses and wiped his tears. He tried to smile back. "I'm glad that you're alright."
"Harry is cute, don't you think?" Sirius grinned at his lover.
"Sure." Severus growled. "You two look like brothers."
"Maybe I should grow some beard, so that I'll look like his father." Sirius grinned, the more he thought about being a father, the more he liked it.
Harry looked at his godfather and smiled shyly. "You'll look like Proffesor Dumbledore if you have beard."
"Are you saying I'm old?" Sirius pretended to be offended.
Harry quickly shook his head. "I'll it if you would look like my father."
"I'm hungry," Severus said coldly. He quickly walked to the dining room, leaving the painful scene. 'If you were going to be his father, then who are going to be my son's father, Sirius?'
"Come on, Harry." Draco took Harry's hand. "Leave your stuff here."
Sirius quickly followed, he didn't like to be left alone. Things were good that Lucius had an emergency to attend to at the Ministry, and it had gone better now that Harry were here.
"After lunch, Madame Pomphrey will come to check on Sirius and Severus, so you two would have to stay at Draco's room." Narcissa looked at Harry, knowing that the boy would like to stay with her cousin.
"That's fine; we have to finish our homework anyway." Draco smiled at his friend, but Harry wasn't looking at him.
"Are you not well, Professor?" Harry looked at his ex Potions Professor with concern.
"You can call me Severus." Severus didn't answer the question though. "I'm not your teacher anymore."
"Yes, sir." Harry was back at his lunch.
After the peaceful lunch, the boys stayed at Draco's room. Harry would only leave his godfather's side after Narcissa promised to call him when Madame Pomphrey had left.
It was another hour when the Healer came. After ran a quick check, she was sure that Sirius' head wasn't damage, so she only gave him potions that would help him get his memory back.
"Woah," Sirius looked at Madame Pomphrey's bag. "You do have all the stuff there."
The Healer only smiled. "Not really. Say if you are indeed have gone mad, then I wouldn't have something here that would help to cure you."
"No, there was nothing wrong with me right?"
"Nothing I can found. But you only have your memory till you were twenty, so this potion will help you gradually get your memory back."
Then she went to another of her patient. She was satisfied that the baby was growing, though she still couldn't be sure when he would go into labour.
"Is the baby okay?" Severus looked worried.
"Very healthy." The healer smiled kindly at the worried mother. "I still can't be sure, but I think you would have him in less than three months."
"Thank you." Severus smiled.
When Severus and Narcissa walked the healer out, Sirius was so bore that he decided to do something useful that would help him get back his memory.
So when Severus returned and wanted to give him the potion, he wasn't prepared for the fury.
"You drink the whole vial?" Severus glared at his boyfriend.
"Yes." Sirius rubbed his forehead.
"Don't you know that you can only drink it five tea spoon everyday?"
"How could I know, and now my head hurt so much." Sirius complained. "Can I sleep now?"
Severus couldn't hold his anger despite of his worry. "How can you survive without me?"
Sirius tried to smile. "That's a miracle, I think."
Severus sat at the bedside holding the other man's hand until he felt asleep. Sometime he stroked the face when the other man was whimpering in his sleep. After several yawned, he decided to come to bed and sleep, still holding Sirius' hand in his.
9 March 06, 5:45 pm
