Chapter 13
As they drove back into Kras City, Keira was deep in her thoughts as she stared outside into the dark night. She leaned her chin on her palm, as she thought of everything that was happening and the possible things that could happen depending on her decision. She had to admit that Razer's offer would benefit the both of them. He needed a mechanic and a woman that would be willing to accept him. She could expand her business and never have to worry about feeling neglected again, except for the times he may be out either racing or doing dirty work.
She shivered at the thought of this. She'd seen his blood thirsty grin out on the tracks and it was terrifying. It was as if he wanted to savor your death like it was aged wine. She wasn't sure if she could accept being with someone like this and not let her morals get in the way. After all she had always been a righteous person. Still after last night when that driver had shot at them he proved that he would use that murderous intent and keep her safe from harm. At least that was a good thing. However she just didn't want to have to worry about getting wrapped up in his dirty work. She refused to go against her morals but to be with Razer may all be against her morals.
If she stayed in Haven City most likely nothing would change. There will be more dangerous missions for Jak and she'd continue to work hard all day in her small garage. Even though she didn't live the life of luxury she never once complained. As long as there was a roof over her and the area was free of metal heads, she was fine. All she wanted to do was fix and upgrade things. As long as she lived her passion no matter where it was it would be fine. However her business wasn't the issue, it was Jak. So much had happened between them within the past few months. They had moved in together not too long after he saved the world from Erol. From just dating they had become lovers and from lovers they had slowly drifted apart as Jak became lost in his missions. She waited and doubted as time drew on, wondering where they stood in their relationship. Then they had come to Kras City and entered the races after being poisoned. Still she received mixed signals from him and besides the kiss she shared with him, the last meeting she had with him wasn't a good one. He had coldly shrugged her off and told her to date whoever she pleased. Did she mean anything to him at all? Had everything and all these years of their growing bond become a waste of time? Why was it so easy for him to let her go?
She buried her face in her hands as the thoughts and questions suffocated her. Razer seemed to be deep in thoughts as well so he allowed her to dwell in hers. Finally they came upon the bridge crossed during the racing events as part of the Water Loop track. When the tracks were not being used for racing they were just normal roads. He interrupted her daze.
"We're here," he said as he parked alongside the bridge. He stepped out of the vehicle and walked to the other side to open the door for Keira. As much as this pleased Keira she felt slightly irritated at the fact that she could not open her own door. She didn't want to be babied.
He led her to the edge of the bridge where he leaned on his elbows on the ledge while lighting a cigarette. She stared out from the bridge at the horizons of the city around them. The dark ocean reflected the bright colorful lights from the city and the white speckles above them complimented the sky. She inhaled the cool, salty breeze as it blew through her hair. Her dress blew in the wind and she tugged it at her sides to prevent it from showing too much. She looked over at Razer, admiring the view just as she was. The wind blew through his shiny, raven hair as he inhaled his glowing orange cigarette. She wondered if he came here often. He answered her without her even asking.
"It's a beautiful view isn't it? I often come out here when I have free time. I find the view soothing to me"
She nodded in agreement, "Yeah, it's beautiful"
They stood in silence again as they continued to stare out from the bridge. He suddenly stood up straight and turned to her. She turned to him in response to see his serious glare on her. She knew what was coming and fear erupted in her body.
"So have you decided? Does my offer appeal to you?"
She stood speechless. She wanted more time to think but obviously Razer went at a faster pace than she did. She couldn't blame him though for being impatient, just like her he just wanted to know where they stood. He wanted to know where they were going and if his efforts were going to waste. She knew that feeling all too well. Still she felt helpless and couldn't find words to speak. She was unsure of so many things and even considered going back to Haven to talk to Jak one last time before she decided. She wanted to know if what he had said last night was what he had really felt. She needed to know if he had let her go because if he did, than she had no reason to linger around him any longer. She would give up waiting but only if she knew for sure how he felt. Yet at this moment she knew she couldn't have that. Razer wanted to know now and she needed to let him know. Maybe she could convince him to give her more time.
"W-well I have thought about it. The offer is very appealing. It's just that umm…" She struggled to find the words as she helplessly babbled to the man in front of her. Her cheeks began to grow hot and her palms began to sweat with the growing anxiety in the atmosphere. She felt as if the air around her was getting stuffy. "Listen I think I might need more time to-"
She was interrupted mid-sentence due to the sound of screeching tires beside them. They both spun around to look and see an unfamiliar vehicle, halting to a harsh stop at the sight of them. She squinted her eyes at the vehicle, trying to make out the owner.
Isn't that…Torn's car? Why would Torn be here? No, it can't be. Why wou-
Her jaw dropped as the figure stepped out from the vehicle, wearing a stern and determined expression on his face. He ran his fingers through his blond hair before returning his hands at his sides to clench them into fists. His eyes were fixed on them. She couldn't tell if he was angry or trying to start a fight. She wasn't sure if he was headed to her or to Razer. She couldn't read him. She had never seen him look this way.
Jak stopped in front of them as Keira stared in awe; Razer calmly discarded his cigarette on the ground beneath him and stepped on it. Razer crossed his arms in front of him as he leaned on the ledge of the bridge.
"My my, what a surprise. What brings you here Jak?" Once again Razer emphasized Jak's name to mock him and Jak's green eyebrows furrowed in anger.
"Save it Razer! I need to talk to Keira," Jak turned to look at her briefly, his expression softening at the sight of her and then he turned back to Razer.
Razer laughed arrogantly, "It's too late Jak. What makes you think she wants to talk to you…especially with the brilliant offer that I already presented to her" Razer's sly smile grew wide as he saw Jak's expression change from angry to worried.
Jak turned to the mute and helpless girl watching everything play out in front of her between these two men. "Offer?" He stared at Keira with vulnerability in his eyes and she just stood there blank. Before she could open her mouth to say anything Razer cut her off.
"Give it up Jak. What could you possibly offer her that I cannot? What could make you think that you could fulfill her needs?"
Jak was growing angry again as he stepped toward Razer's calm and arrogant demeanor.
He stabbed his finger harshly on Razer's chest as he spoke, "Don't act like you know anything about us. I've been around way before you even entered the picture. Every memory I've ever had from childhood, she's in it. Every memory I have now, she's in it" His expression softened as he backed away from Razer to look at Keira even though he was still speaking to Razer.
"I was there to see her discover her passion for technology and I was her guinea pig for her first experiment. I was supposed to stick some gadget on my head and she said it would cure my lack of voice. Unfortunately it blew up on me and I had a bald spot for months" He smiled to himself as he looked up to the sky, reminiscing in their memories.
"I was there when she first broke her leg. She had ran toward me on a hill and stumbled down instead. I had to calm her crying while I carried her back up the hill to her father so that he can heal her. I was there when she thought about her mother. When she had wondered what she was like and she felt alone, I was there. I was there during the nights she was sick and I snuck into her bedroom window to sleep beside her so that she could rest peacefully. I was there those countless nights that I watched her as we sat on a hill and tried to catch fireflies. I saw the smile on her face every time she'd catch one and it lit up against her eyes. I was there when she discovered her love for mint chocolate chip ice cream and then she'd make me hunt for the ingredients and even risk my life to make sure I had it all. Yet through the high cliffs and poison ivy, seeing her face light up when it was finally done made it all worth it. I was there. I was always there…" A look of sorrow came upon his face as he returned his gaze to Keira. He didn't care about Razer anymore. He just wanted to talk to her.
He walked up to her and grabbed her trembling hands in his. He stared into her watery eyes with his fearful ones. "Keira, listen…I know that things between us have been rough lately. I know that we had never really established a firm bond between us and if it weren't for that we probably wouldn't be in this situation right now. I know that I'm not around as much as I used to be because I'm always away on missions and going to Spargus. For that, I am sorry. I know you deserve someone to give you his attention. I know I get so drawn into everything that I might forget to pass by the garage or say thank you when you're done doing me a favor. I might forget to leave you a note before I disappear from the apartment and at times I may seem distant. I was wrong for that" He paused for a moment as if he was trying to contain his emotions. She stared up at his face in disbelief. She saw the fear in his cerulean eyes.
He continued, "I don't know what this offer is about and I'm sure that Razer may have a lot to offer compared to me. I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I needed to let you know how I really felt. Even when I seem distant and I'm away from you, you are the only person that keeps me going. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have made it this far and you were always there to support me and even knock some sense into me when I needed it. After all these years I can't really picture what life would be like without you there in it but I also want you to do what makes you happy. I want you to think of yourself for once since all these years I have made you think only of me. That's why I said what I said last night because I wanted you to decide based on what you wanted, not on what I wanted. I didn't think I deserved you but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try. I don't want to hold you down any longer" He released her trembling hands as she brought them back to her sides. She stood speechless staring at Jak unsure of what to say.
Razer began to applaud, interrupting the intensity of their moment and they turned to him. Razer walked toward the two. "Very touching Jak, very touching. I have to admit that was quite a speech however you were right, I do have a lot to offer. Yet as I told Keira earlier I like to leave it up to the lady to decide"
They both turned to Keira, her eyes wide with confusion. The pressure was building up and she clenched her dress in her fingers. So much had happened so fast. She felt the loud beating of her heart in her chest as she began to speak.
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SUSPENSE AGAIN! Sorry guys I couldn't resist. Don't worry, you know me, I'll update again asap. So what will Keira decide? Razer or Jak? Vote now Lol.
