I was working on my latest book about small-town life and its many characters when I heard the text alert on my phone. I looked to see if it was Richard, but, to my surprise, it was Logan.
Logan: I've been thinking and I'd like for us to get together and talk about everything. I was thinking maybe dinner. Perhaps tonight, if it's not too short of notice?
Crap! Tonight? He must think I have no life. I know it's not about me, but I don't want him to think I'm available whenever he decides he wants to see me - even for Richard's sake. Yet, there was something deep inside that had me giddy with excitement. I'd forgotten how it felt to be in his arms, to gaze into his eyes - QUIT! No Logan rabbit hole! Bad, Rory! Very bad, Rory! This was about Richard, not us, or any prospect of us. I flushed that down the toilet over eighteen years ago.
Rory: I suppose I could squeeze in some time to eat.
Logan: You don't skip meals, Ace...
Rory: What were you thinking?
Logan: How about 8 at luminoso e lucido?
Rory: Ok, I'll meet you there.
I guess this means Richard will have to fend for himself tonight, I thought and then began laughing.
"Mom, what's so funny?" Richard asked as he entered the study.
"Good news, actually. I'm meeting with Logan for dinner tonight," I replied.
"And that's funny somehow?"
"No, but in my head, I thought that you'd have to fend for yourself and that made me laugh," I said with a smile.
"You're right. That is funny!" he laughed in agreement.
"How was tennis with Vivienne today?"
"It felt weird keeping this secret from her and when I met...him, I got all weird and nervous," Richard recalled.
"So you did meet? Does he know who you are? Was he angry?" I fired off questions Emily style.
"Whoa, slow down, Mom! We did meet and I don't think he knows who I am. Vivienne didn't give my last name, and she always calls me Ritchie instead of Richard like everyone else," he replied answering my questions.
"Hmm...it's only a matter of time before he puts two and two together. I'm sure he asked about you after you left," I said. It's probably the reason he wanted to get together for dinner tonight.
"Probably. It's not like Viv knows though."
"You didn't tell her?" I was surprised he didn't say something.
"I wanted to, but I didn't know how and I had no idea how she'd take it. It's all so...messed up," he said.
"I know, and I'm truly sorry, Richard. This is all my fault," I lamented.
"Mom, it's ok. You thought you were doing the right thing," he replied.
"I'm glad you understand that, but it doesn't make things any easier."
"I'm gonna take a shower and find something to eat."
"Ok, I've got to finish some work here and get ready for tonight," I replied.
"Is this like a date or something?" he asked curiously.
"No, no, no. It's definitely not that! I just don't want to look frumpy or embarrass him. He's kind of a big deal and there are always eyes on him," I explained.
"Oh, I guess I really don't understand that world."
"Some aspects are just not appealing, but I don't mind getting dressed up sometimes," I replied with a smile.
I watched Richard leave my study and heard him head upstairs. I looked at the clock and began plotting my timeline. I knew my writing was done for the day as the nerves settled in. I looked over a few spots and saved my work. It would just have to wait until tomorrow.
I went into my room and waited until I heard the upstairs shower turn off before I started my own. I had hoped a nice hot shower would help me relax, but it didn't. After drying off, I set out on my usual beauty routine, but I decided it wasn't enough to be my average self, so I ramped it up a bit. I put in the extra effort without looking like I put in the extra effort. I had aged well, much like my mother. Every day I was grateful for the good genes she'd passed on to me. I decided soft curls to frame my face. I went light in the make-up department, but that's nothing unusual for me. I did play up my eyes more than normal. I felt they were my best feature. After several wardrobe fails, I decided on a sleeveless blouse, sweater, and a semi-full knee-length skirt. I paired my outfit with some ballet flats. My style hadn't changed much in the last eighteen years.
I stood before the mirror for a long time.
Once I was satisfied with my perfectly casual look, I went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Richard was busy eating. I poured myself a to-go cup in my favorite travel mug.
"I'm heading out in a few minutes," I said to him.
"Ok, Mom. I think I'm going to hang out and watch a movie. We've got provisions, right?"
"Of course! What kind of mother would I be if I didn't keep us stocked with the staples for a Gilmore movie night?!" We both laughed. "What were you planning on watching?"
"I'm not sure, but I'll figure something out!" he replied.
"Love ya, Kid!"
"Bye, Mom," he called as I left the kitchen.
I grabbed my purse and keys near the door. I got into my car and opened the garage door. I took a deep breath, started the car, and drove to the restaurant. On the drive there, I had gone through just about any possible scenario in my head. I imagined how I'd react to all of them. Then I remembered how good he looked and how great he smelled yesterday. I felt myself getting sucked into the 'what might have been' storylines. I managed to clear my head by the time I had arrived. I silently cursed his good taste when I drove up and saw the valet stand.
The valet opened my door and gave me my ticket. I walked inside the restaurant. It was much brighter than I expected. Usually, the fancier the establishment, the darker the interior. While it wasn't overly lit, the colors popped. I looked around, absorbing the bright hues.
Then, before my very eyes, I saw the reason - Honor. I had no idea she was in the restaurant business unless it was Josh. Either way, the colorful décor had her written all over it.
"Rory? Rory Gilmore? Is that you?" Honor called to me.
"Honor, it's so nice to see you!" I replied still in a bit of shock to see her here, but I meant it.
"It's been far too long!" she said and hugged me. "I cannot tell you how much I love your books! Was that really what it was like for you growing up? You make small town living seem fabulous!"
"Yes, those books told the story of me growing up. The more recent ones are fiction inspired by my hometown. I'm very fortunate to have had an amazing childhood - the good and the bad!"
"We'll have to catch up later. Now, how many for dinner?" she asked. It seemed like she had no idea I was meeting her brother here for dinner.
"I take it Logan isn't here yet?" I said cautiously.
A big smile spread across her face. "Are you guys -"
I interrupted before she could finish. "No, nothing's going on. Just dinner and catching up since he moved back to Hartford."
I saw the excitement on her face fade. "For years, I told him what a bonehead he was for marrying Odette. Although they had a beautiful daughter, they were never right for each other. Oh - here he is," she said and looked toward Logan, who was entering the restaurant. "You didn't tell me you were coming here with Rory!" she chastised him.
"I didn't know you were running the house tonight," he replied.
"When your hostess calls in sick at the last minute, you've gotta suck it up, buttercup! Besides, the guys were driving me nuts at the house. It's Josh's poker night," she explained.
"Can we get one of the private booths?" Logan asked.
Honor's excited look made a reappearance.
"Don't even go there, Honor. I just know how this place gets later in the evenings. I want to have a conversation without yelling. Besides, the press is on me day and night being the eligible bachelor that I am. I'd love to have a dinner without worrying about who's watching if you catch my drift."
Her look disappeared for the second time. She led us back to a half-moon shaped booth in the back corner of the restaurant. Once we were seated on opposite sides of the crescent, she drew the curtain and left us with menus. It wasn't nearly as bright as the others we passed on our way back. I'm guessing this is their romantic booth.
"It seems she wants us back together," I said after she left.
"Honor always liked you, and no one ever matched her Rory Gilmore standard. As much as she tried, she never got along with Odette."
"That's too bad. I guess I just set the bar too high," I joked.
"That is true," he said and then seemed to realize what he'd just admitted. "Honor said the spaghetti and meatballs is the best dish on the menu. She's become quite the foodie since her kids left the nest a few years ago."
"I can tell you I'm not looking forward to that myself," I said. Oh, shit! Did I really just say that? I thought.
There was an awkward pause between us. I pretended to look at the menu, but I wanted to crawl into a hole at this point. I was starting to regret my decision to accept his invitation. The waiter came by to take our order after what felt like an eternity of silence.
"I'll have the spaghetti and meatballs," Logan said to the waiter.
"I'll have the same," I added and handed him my menu.
"And bring us a bottle of your finest red."
He ordered wine? I wonder why. So many possibilities for this scenario. I hope it's just to help us both relax, I thought.
"I met him today," Logan said in a soft voice.
"I know. He told me."
"But I didn't know it was him until later. I thought he was another guy trying to get into my daughter's pants."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"What's so funny?" he asked sounding slightly annoyed.
"You," I replied. "Being on the other end of the equation. How do you think all fathers of daughters feel? Remember when my mom caught us at my grandparents' vow renewal? Then my dad came in, then Luke. You're in their place now."
"Damn! You're right, Ace!" he said with a smile. "So, I take it he doesn't have my raging hormones?"
"Not that I'm aware. He was pretty focused on school and tennis," I replied. "Sure, Richard dated a few girls, but nothing much came out of it."
"Then again, all I did was rebel in my youth...until..."
"Until what?" I asked unaware of where he was going.
"Until you - you helped me change for the better," he admitted softly with a smile.
"That wasn't just me. That was you, too. You have never given yourself enough credit."
"I didn't want to be anything, but you made me want to be better," he countered.
"I think you had just as much to do with it as I did," I replied quietly.
The waiter returned with the wine and offered a taste to Logan first. He took a drink and seemed pleased.
"Rory, try some of this -" he handed me the glass.
"Oh, wow! That is really good," I gushed after a drink. I'm in trouble. This is really good wine, I thought.
He waved off the waiter, who left the bottle with two glasses on our table. I watched Logan as he filled each glass and pushed one toward me. He held his glass up and said, "Salut!"
I smiled and replied, "Salut!"
We clinked glass and drank. I needed to be very careful because I don't drink all that much anymore. I could easily fall into old habits, or make a fool of myself.
We continued chatting more about Richard.
"So, tennis, huh? I bet that was an interesting adjustment for you."
"To say the least! Dad and Luke tried to help out, but neither of them knew much about tennis. Dad's knowledge exceeded Luke's, but there was still a lot to learn," I confessed.
"But, knowing you, I bet you studied and know it almost as well as Richard, don't you?" he replied knowingly.
"I can converse in tennis vernacular with the best of 'em, and I'll admit, I've come to really enjoy the sport. Richard doesn't know it yet, but Dad and I are taking him to Wimbledon as a graduation present."
"Vivienne loved it when I took her when we still lived in London," he said.
I found my wine glass empty already, and my inhibitions were beginning to fade as the wine made its way through my bloodstream. Slow down, I warned myself silently. I noticed Logan's glass was also empty when he refilled it and then mine.
"Tell me more about this kid of ours. I hear he's going to Yale."
"Yes, he is. He actually turned down a full scholarship to play tennis," I replied.
"He did?" Logan asked surprised.
"He's still going to play tennis there, but he wanted to make sure someone more deserving got it. He hoped it would go to someone who might not be able to afford Yale," I explained Richard's rationale. "He knew my dad was taking care of paying for college, and he wanted to give someone else the opportunity."
"Wow. I'm speechless."
"He's a pretty amazing kid."
"Takes after his mother," he replied quietly. I think it was a little louder than he thought. He blushed and quickly took a drink. "Any idea what he'll major in?"
"I'm not sure. His interests are pretty diverse, so it's hard to say where he'll land. He's expressed some interest in law. He may end up at the Hayden Law Group if Dad has his way."
"No journalistic ambitions?"
"No, thank goodness!" I said.
"It's so much different than when we started. You'd hardly recognize the business!"
The waiter interrupted our conversation with our plates of food. We continued chatting about our son through the entrée. By the time we were done eating, our bottle of wine was gone and our booth buffer had significantly decreased. From the looks of things, we'd both moved quite a bit.
"We've talked a lot about Richard, but now, I want to know what's been going on with best-selling author Rory Gilmore," Logan said with a sly smile. His eyes were dancing as he continued to look at me.
"I've been writing and raising Richard the last eighteen years. That's about it. My life is pretty boring," I replied. The truth is, my life isn't very exciting without Logan. He was my element of adventure, surprise. Far too often I found myself longing for those days once again, and, here we are, in the same city and available. No! This wine is pointing me on an all too familiar path, I thought.
"So, you're not seeing anyone?"
"No, I'm not," I answer truthfully. I couldn't admit I haven't had a date in about fifteen years.
"Oh," he answered sounding surprised and maybe optimistic. I couldn't tell if the alcohol affected him in the same way it had taken a hold of me. His body language was definitely open toward me, and his smile that went on for days shone brightly in the dim lighting.
"What about you, media mogul Logan Huntzberger?" I asked turning the table back to him.
"I was in the midst of a divorce when Odette died in a car accident, but you already knew that. I didn't even think about it. I was concentrating on work and Vivienne. I knew a move back to Hartford was imminent, but I had no idea exactly when that was coming," he explained. I felt myself falling down the rabbit hole once more. GET OUT! I chastised silently.
"So..." I said.
"So..." he replied.
We sat in silence, looking at each other. I assumed he was trying to read my mind and I was trying to read his. The rustling of the curtains startled us. Honor popped her head inside the booth.
"Just checking in on you guys. Did you enjoy your meals? It's my personal favorite and it gets rave reviews."
My cheeks went flush as if it's been caught with my hands in the cookie jar. It wasn't like we were even doing anything, but the alcohol exacerbated the blush. I could see my reaction elicited excitement, once more, from Honor.
"You didn't lie when you said it was fabulous. Some of the best pasta I've had outside of Italy," Logan avowed.
"High praise! Thanks, Little Brother, and what did the lovely Ms. Gilmore think?"
"It was fantastic, Honor! I really enjoyed it," I replied.
"Since you two are my very special guests, dessert is on the house," she said with a beaming grin.
"You don't have to do that," I countered.
"Oh, no! I insist!"
"Don't argue with her. You won't win. Trust me," Logan suggested.
"He gave up arguing with me a long time ago," Honor added. "So, what's for dessert?"
"Tiramisu or cheesecake?" I asked Logan.
"Which ever you'd like," he replied with a sly smile.
"I'll bring both," she stated happily.
"Have I told you how much I love this place, Honor?" I grinned. She definitely knew the way to my heart.
She flashed a huge smile to me. "No, but I'll take it as a very high compliment!"
A few minutes after she left, the waiter brought out our desserts. Logan had slid a little closer to me after the waiter left. We were about a foot apart, and he was looking into my eyes with a sly grin on his face.
"Rory?"
He called me Rory, I thought. "Yeah?"
He moved a little closer and gently took my hand in his. I felt the electricity and sparks shoot through my body. I recalled the times I'd longed for his touch over the years. I had tried to forget him, but it only got harder and harder with each passing day. The more and more Richard began looking like him, the more and more I thought of him.
"I've missed you," he confessed.
"I've missed you, too, Logan."
He put his hands on either side of my face and began drawing me toward him. I closed my eyes and felt his breath just before his lips were about to touch mine.
"Mom!" I heard my son's voice yell to me. What the hell was Richard doing here? I asked myself.
"Mom!"
Richard's voice was getting louder and sounded closer to me. My eyes fluttered open, and to my surprise, I wasn't at a restaurant. There was no booth, no dessert, and definitely no Logan, unless you count half of Richard.
"Mom," he said as he walked into my room. "You're going to be late if you don't get going soon!"
I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I wasn't there. I was still standing in front of my mirror in my room, so I must have been caught up in one of the scenarios for tonight. Was this the one I wanted to happen? I thought. It would be the easiest, but probably least likely.
"Thanks, Richard," I replied and grabbed my sweater.
"Are you ok?" he asked sounding concerned.
"I'm fine. Just got caught up in possible scenarios," I said. It wasn't a total lie.
"I hope things go well," he responded.
"I do, too, Kid!"
I glanced at the clock and flew down the stairs on my way to the garage. I quickly entered the address in my phone's GPS, and was on my way to the restaurant.
