Muggle Issues

Slamming down the Daily Profit onto his desk with a scowl, Lucius stood and walked to the window of his study. "Bloody muggles!" he grumbled. "Someone has to do something about this!" Gazing out at the gardens he decided it was time to go see the Ministry of Magic.

Two hours later Lucius stood in the office of the Minster of Magic "you need to sort this!" he snapped slamming the newspaper onto the older wizard's desk.

The Minister like many others was afraid of Lucius and he hoped to get the arrogant blonde wizard out of his office as soon as he could. "I assure you that we are looking into this matter Lucius."

"Looking into this?" Lucius scoffed "there is a muggle writer out there writing stories about our world? There are muggles who know our names and the location of magical places and you are 'looking into it', how about for a start figuring out who this writer is and why she knows our world? Is this woman one of us?"

"Once we have more information we will act on this." The minister tried to placate Lucius and sound assertive, but his words belied the shake in his voice when he spoke. Lucius knew now that the Ministry were worried about this.

"More information, what more do you need?" Lucius raged and slammed some books and movies onto the desk. "It is all here in black and white, and apparently 'glorious technicolor'!" Lucius glared down at the quaking man "you have had to close down the Leaky Cauldron due to muggles sitting outside watching for people coming going in and out. One muggle climbed the wall into the back yard and was found tapping on the brick wall muttering that she wanted to get into Diagon Alley!" the Minster just sat quietly, he could not deny any of what Lucius had just said.

Lucius continued "and now you announce the moving of the Hogwarts Express from platform 9¾ because of muggles sitting by the wall and in some cases being injured after throwing themselves at the wall trying to get onto the platform!"

The Minister merely nodded and coughed nervously. "How much more information and proof do you need?" Lucius growled "you either clean this mess up… or I will!" he glared at the Minister and then stalked out of the office and returned home.

Spending more time looking into the issue with this writer made Lucius even more uncomfortable. This story had become movies and it seemed that just about everyone would soon know about the magical world.

He went upstairs to Draco's room to speak with his son; about six months earlier Draco requested a computer – finally relenting Lucius had agreed to his son having 'one of those damn muggle computers and a connection to the wonder-web' Lucius was not terribly up-to-date with muggle technology, and so Lucius now found himself in strange waters.

Lucius knocked on his son's door "Draco, I need to speak with you."

"Yes father?" Draco tried to hide some papers as his father entered the room "I was just… studying."

"You are a dreadful liar Draco." Lucius chided "but I don't care right now. I want to know how this thing" he gestured to the computer "and that web thing works."

"Wow, finally joining us in the present eh father?" Draco asked with a cheeky grin.

Lucius shot his son a look that let Draco know in no uncertain terms that he was in no mood for his son's smart mouth.

Draco blushed and looked uneasy "I'm sorry father."

A short while later Lucius had grasped the basics of how the computer and internet worked and he was searching for information about the muggle writer and her books. After a couple of hours he was no close to finding anything very personal about this writer – but when he had searched under the name Harry Potter, the name on the front of all the books, he found himself looking at tens of thousands of stories titled as fanfics.

"What the hell?" he snarled "just how many muggles are writing about us?"

After reading a few of the stories Lucius decided that these muggles were perverts with utterly twisted minds. "How can they write such things about us?" he asked. Draco just shrugged as his father continued to search until he found something called slash fics, after reading a few he discovered that many of these were written about his son and Harry Potter "Draco, do you have something you wish to tell me?" he asked.

"Father, I have no idea where they get these ideas from!" Draco mumbled blushing profusely.

Lucius just scowled at his son, but he was distracted by the sheer number of stories about him with muggle women. "Why do these muggles all think that they can be the one to redeem me?" he mused out loud.

"Do you need redeeming father?" Draco asked with a smirk.

Lucius once again shot his son a looked that immediately silenced him.

"I need a list of these people!" he ordered his son "I will find and stop them!"

A few days later the first fanfic writer vanished. A week later three were missing.

As these writers were all over the world and seemingly unconnected, no-one really noticed anything was strange. Apart from other fanfic writers, who were noticing less stories were being posted. Rumour of course started to spread amongst the fanfic sites about what could possibly be happening to these writers. One of the silliest was that the original author of the books was paying for these writers to vanish. Some had even laughed and said 'maybe it's Voldemort?' but of course no-one really believed that because the magical world they all loved was of course fictional…

By the time twelve writers were missing some of the other writers were in a panic – some deleted their stories, some even went as far as closing their accounts. Lucius was of course pleased with this and he knew that the message was getting through to them. However a few were hardier – they were continuing to write despite the missing writers and rumours – so he stepped up his work. Over the following ten days ten more writers vanished. The pattern of one a day certainly made the panic grow.

Several more writers dropped offline and closed their accounts, deleting everything they had written. Lucius was happy with this result, but still the hardcore writers stayed put "Time to go to the heart of this group!" he decided.

A few days later two of the more prolific writers went missing. This information spread like wildfire on the internet. Lucius was looking online again – a few of the host sites were talking about closing down. Even Lucius had to admit that he was impressed by this muggle invention of the internet – nothing it would seem could spread panic faster. "This invention is making this so much easier" he mused "how can fools like muggles invent something so useful?"

Lucius was still reading some of these stories, these muggles had very vivid and frankly sick imaginations and yet they pegged him as being a monster. These stories of Draco being gay unsettled him – but then he found worse, much worse; stories about him and Severus! "How could these people write something so sick?" he hissed with a shudder. "Do they really think that Severus and I?"

Lucius was getting to be pretty good now with the computer and Draco suggested looking for pictures … "pictures?" Lucius asked.

"Yes" said Draco "there are lots of pictures on the internet, you can find pictures of anything you want to see!" he blushed and looked uneasy.

"Show me how!" Lucius demanded, so Draco showed him. Lucius soon wished he had not when he found pictures of himself and of his family… "how did they get these?" he hissed.

"Actually" Draco said, backing away from his father "there were, ummm…"

"What, out with it Draco!"

"There are others too. I found them and they made me laugh when I was in trouble with you and Professor Snape…" He typed something into the computer and a picture appeared on screen – it was Lucius and Severus; together, intimately!

"What the hell?" Lucius raged "you knew about this?"

Draco went very pale "I thought it was funny father"

"You took amusement from the humiliation of your father?"

Draco stood shaking and dared not reply.

"You sicken me boy, you are amused by what these damn muggles do! Go to your room, I do not want to see you!" Lucius snarled.

Draco turned to leave and then paused "ummm… father…" he faltered.

"What did I say that was unclear?"

"Nothing father, it's just…"

"What?"

"We are in my room sir" the boy cringed, his father stood and stalked to the door.

At the door Lucius turned "I suggest that you keep out of my sight!" he snapped at his son as he left the room.

Over the following weeks yet more writers were vanishing. The Ministry were still refusing to acknowledge that there was an issue with the muggles.

Lucius was online once more reading some of the stories and looking for the next muggle writer he would pay a visit to. Then he found it, a fanfic saying that Lucius was the one making the muggle writers vanish. It was like this muggle was really watching him, the story outlined most of his life; the visits to the ministry, and the computer lessons from Draco… everything was there. This, he decided would be the next muggle Lucius would pay a visit.

The muggle was sitting at her desk writing as Lucius wearing his Death Eater robes, hood and mask apparated into her study. He had expected her to be terrified at the mere sight of the tall Death Eater in her room, but she continued writing for a short while before looking up saying "Ah Lucius, right on time, I have been expecting you!"

Lucius was stunned, how could this muggle know who he was? "How could you be expecting me?" he asked removing his mask and hood.

"I wrote my last story just for you Lucius; I figured it would catch your attention and make you come for me next."

He tried to take a step toward her but found he could not move his legs "What the hell is happening here?" he hissed

"It's alright, you will be able to move when I am ready" she smiled.

"When you are ready?" he glared at her "kindly explain what is going on here!"

"I just thought it was time that you learned a lesson Lucius."

Lucius laughed "a lesson? Just how do you think a muggle can teach me a lesson?"

She stepped around her desk and walked slowly toward him.

Lucius was furious, this muggle was definitely not afraid of him; he raised his wand smiling coldly he said "crucio!" he was expecting this muggle woman to fall to her knees in front of him in agony, but was stunned to see a shower of glitter and flowers shoot of his wand "what happened!"

"You will find that your wand is quite useless here Lucius, you are in my world now, it works how I want it to … I wrote it that way!"

"Think you are smart for a muggle don't you?" he hissed as he raised his wand again "Avarda Kedavra!"

This time a sparkling jewel coloured rainbow shot from his wand to the other side of the room. "Oh how pretty" she smiled.

Standing in front of him she started to slowly unfasten his buttons, he wanted to stop her but found he could not get that message from his brain to his arms. When she had all of the buttons unfastened she pushed him and he started to fall backwards, landing on a chair he had not even seen there before.

"I don't think I am smart Lucius" she smiled before tearing open the front his pristine white shirt "oh no, I don't think… I know I am smart!"

"If you are so smart why did you want me to come here?"

"I told you, you need to learn a lesson, you are too arrogant by far and you treat muggles appallingly!"

He smirked "you think that you are the one to teach me?"

She slapped him across the face "Lucius, Lucius, I am already teaching you, you silly thing."

"You will not beat me!" he hissed, "you are merely a muggle, you have no powers!"

"This is my story Lucius, I wrote it, and in it, you have are the powerless one and what's more … you are mine!"

He glared at her. If looks could kill she would already be dead at his feet "YOU ARE A MUGGLE YOU HAVE NO POWERS!" he yelled at her.

"Oh Lucius, how little you know, did no-one ever teach you that the pen is mightier than the wand?"

"That's pathetic" he sneered "the pen is nothing!"

"Ohh you think, so you would not be worried if my next story was about you sleeping with Severus?" she watched him flinch and carried on "or what about a story about you and your son?"

"That's sick!" he spat.

"Yes, Lucius but people will believe it, and that's all that matters."

"They would not believe that" he was not sounding confident as he said this.

"They would and you know it – I could totally ruin you and your carefully built reputation … all with this little pen" she waved the pen in front of his face.

"My reputation would not be ruined by a mere story – that is ridiculous."

"Hmmm maybe, but what if I wrote that somewhere back in your lineage – maybe a grandfather or grandmother was … oh say … a muggle?"

"You would not write that!" he said, his voice quavering. He knew that rumours like that would stick – his friends and Voldemort would all begin to doubt his loyalty. Looking down knew he was beat and by this muggle "what do you want?" he whispered.

She leant forward and stroked her finger down his cheek, running it down his neck and slowly tracing a line down his chest causing him to shudder. Whispering into his ear "You Lucius … I want you!"

The End