A/N: As an early gift to all of you, I am posting an extra chapter this week. I will also be publishing my regular chapters on Sunday as well. Enjoy the wholesomeness and Happy Holidays!

Chapter 8: First Steps

Kylo Ren


"General Hux," I addressed when I arrived on the bridge. "Is it the resistance pilot?" Can't even trust you with prisoners anymore, can I?

"Yes," Hux stammered, his eyes wide on me. Looked like my game had taken effect on him. "He had help from one of our own. We're checking the registers now to identify which stormtrooper it was," Hux explained before directing the officers on the bridge to begin the search.

When on Jakku, I remembered a stormtrooper that caught my attention for disobeying my orders against the villagers. I hadn't taken him for a traitor, which proved to be a grave mistake. Once Phasma was made aware of his inactivity I safely assumed he would have been under better supervision. Apparently, you can't trust anyone to do their jobs around here.

"The one from the village," I recalled. "FN-2187."

"Sir," an officer stated. "Ventral cannons hot."

"Fire," Hux commanded.

"Where is Phasma?" I blocked Hux on the bridge as the cannons fired at the rogue TIE fighter.

"She's been alerted of the situation and is on her way here," his eyes apprehensively flickered at me.

Don't you worry, Hux. It's not your time yet. Though, if we lost the prisoner and the map within the same week I might be more inclined to change my mind.

Phasma arrived on the bridge amidst the chaos as they attempted to bring down the escapees. She proceeded to pass me without acknowledgment and intercepted Hux. I didn't mind Phasma; I respected her authority and her tenacity which even had a history of impressing me. But if I didn't know any better, she and Hux retained something of a rapport amongst the two of them, though I never assumed Phasma viewed him as anything more than an associate. They began recounting exactly how one of our trained-from-birth stormtroopers would have assisted a rebel pilot's escape.

An officer pulled up FN-2187's file on a monitor for Hux and the two huddled around it while I watched from afar.

"FN-2187 reported to my division, was evaluated, and sent to reconditioning," I overheard Phasma release to Hux.

"No prior signs of nonconformity?" Hux pondered as he read over the trooper's file.

"This was his first offense," she recalled.

It appears his stormtroopers may not be as effective as he thought, I noted when a siren wailed from a nearby console.

"General!" a female officer called from across the room, her eyes glued to her screen. "They've been hit."

"Destroyed?" Hux verified hopefully.

"Disabled. They were headed back to Jakku," she clarified.

My eyes narrowed. First, I lose the only map to Skywalker in a droid on Jakku and now I've lost my prisoner and a trooper to the same planet. I feared I would never rid myself of the blasted sand in my shoes from fucking Jakku.

"The fighter is projected to crash in the Goazon badlands," the officer finished.

"They were going back for the droid," Hux concluded. "Send a squad to the wreckage," he ordered to Phasma, who nodded before taking her silent leave from the bridge.

I took the opportunity to advance on Hux before he could escape. "Care to enlighten me on your proposal to recover the droid?"

Flustered, he briskly walked across the bridge with me in tow. "Supreme Leader Snoke was explicit. Capture the droid, if we can, but destroy it if we must," he relayed.

I could not allow that droid to be destroyed. If it was forever lost, my last chance at unearthing Skywalker would be as well. I was well aware that my objectives differed from Snoke's and, in turn, Hux's priorities. But I could not sit idly by while his incompetent troopers foiled my mission.

"How capable are your soldiers, general?" I considered aloud.

He resented this and retaliated. "I won't have you question my methods."

I continued with my rhetorical questions, enjoying the distraught that flooded Hux's face, "They're obviously skilled at committing high treason, perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a clone army..."

"My men are exceptionally trained, programmed from birth." I could see my badgering got the best of him as Hux cut me off at the top of the bridge. Bold, for a man in his position and in my sights for what he's done.

"Then they should have no problem in retrieving the droid," I emphasized, "Unharmed," I uttered and closed the distance between us.

"Careful, Ren," Hux stood his ground against me, "that your personal interests do not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke."

Leave it to Hux to remind the entire First Order exactly what kind of sniveling brown-noser he was.

I leaned in, mere inches from his smug, pale face. "I want that map," I reiterated. My mind drifted back to the girl who lay awake in my bed, who had requested my assistance in revenge on Hux; perhaps I would entertain that idea after all. "For your sake, I suggest you get it."

My change in tone worked as his eyes fluttered around my helmet, trying to determine if I was threatening him over the map, or the girl. He was unable to come up with a counter as I brushed past him, shoving my shoulder into his as a final gesture before departing the bridge. It was time for me to get answers from my guest and I was not in a mood for games.


She was fast asleep when I returned, curled into a ball against the pillow as she dozed. I placed a hot bowl of broth on the nightstand next to her water glass and retreated to my post at the foot of the bed. How she could still be exhausted after two consecutive days of sleep was beyond me.

As I watched her shoulder rise and fall with her breath, I felt the urgency and intensity that I arrived with evaporate. On my way here, I convinced myself to demand answers for all my questions, fed up with being patient and polite. But seeing her, so relaxed and alive, caused the frustration that built up from the bridge to fade away in an instant.

Her injuries had begun to heal quite nicely. Much of the swelling in her face had gone down and the bruises around her neck faded into yellow-green splotches. Certainly, some of the more profound wounds like the bruises on her knees would take more time. But it was encouraging progress nonetheless.

It wasn't long before she woke again, sensing my presence. She rubbed her face with her hands and sat up slowly when she saw me.

"You're back," she mumbled and removed strands of her hair that fell in front of her face.

"Well, it is my room," I shrugged slightly and leaned against the backrest of the chair.

"Did your prisoner get away?" she casually asked before taking a long gulp of water that was left in the cup.

I noticed quickly she was much more talkative this time around. I wondered what changed since I'd been gone. Maybe I would get answers this time.

"Regrettably, Hux proves to be a disappointment in more ways than one," I sighed.

She paused at this, weighing if it was appropriate for her to smirk in support of my commentary. I felt satisfied seeing her like this, somewhat closer to smiling, compared to what she looked like when I carried her in my arms.

"That's unfortunate," she contained her grin while she stared at the bowl of soup next to the bed. Her face twisted as she battled internally with something I couldn't decipher.

"If you don't want it," I spoke up and her eyes ripped away from the soup. "I can get you something else."

"No, it's not that, I just—" she fumbled over her words. "It's odd, the spoon," she replied finally and wrapped her fingers around the bowl. She ignored the utensil all together and brought the container to her lips, drinking the warm liquid down.

I had no idea what she meant by that, but I decided now was not the time to press on about it. I patiently waited until she finished the entire thing as she brought her fingers to her lips and wiped them before placing the empty bowl back on the table.

We sat in silence for a while, the awkwardness hanging thick between us. I wanted answers to the questions I've been asking myself for several days now, and I'm sure she had some of her own about me. But I had to tread lightly, unlike when I interrogated a prisoner, I needed her to open up to me willingly.

"Will you tell me your name?" I asked, finally cutting through the stiff stillness.

She blinked and deliberated for a moment, biting a piece of her lower lip before responding. "Elaine."

Elaine, I repeated in my head.

"Do I get to know yours?" her request abruptly cut through my subconscious.

My face twisted as I cocked my head to the side, utterly confused. She doesn't even know who you are. I stared, baffled. There was hardly a soul in the galaxy by now that hadn't heard of the First Order, let alone uttered my name in fear.

"You do not know who I am?" I clarified. Surely there must be an explanation.

Her eyes wavered as she shook her head, puzzled.

"I am Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren and successor to Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order," I rattled off.

She didn't resemble a hint of impression or recognition. An offended twinge of embarrassment flared in my chest. "What retched rock did you live under to have not heard of me?" I muttered.

In all fairness, it was her turn to be insulted. Her cheeks puffed a bright pink as she deflected her eyes from me. "I told you," her face tightened. "I grew up in a courtesan house. They didn't bother telling us things about the outer worlds," her arms folded over her chest.

Shit, I panicked. You're losing her.

"Forgive me," I blurted, shifting forward in my seat. "It's not common that someone doesn't know who I am."

She sent me a side-glare as I backpedaled. Within a few moments, her body posture relaxed, but only slightly. "So, who are you?" she eyed me cautiously.

"I believe it's my turn," I countered as I side-stepped her question. Don't offend her this time. "What planet are you from?"

A soft sigh heaved from her chest as she conceded. "My courtesan house was on Coruscant, but that's not where I'm from."

"Before that?" I urged, intrigued.

She shook her head. "I don't know. I was too young to remember."

I nodded and accepted this response.

"How do you do it?" she suddenly asked.

"Do what?"

"The thing with your hand," her eyes rested on me inquisitively.

I took a deep breath and tried to avoid sounding condescending. "What do you know of the force?"

She pondered this for a moment. "That's the magical abilities that some people have, right? Like the Jedi knights?"

Of course, she's heard of them. I rolled my eyes and suppressed my exasperation. "The force is the energy that is created by all living things," I explained, "Those who are strong with the force are able to manipulate it."

"So, you can make things fly?" her eyebrow raised skeptically.

"It's not just about levitating objects," I snipped. "The power of the dark side allows me to have powers you could never imagine."

She withered, sensing my irritability. "Can you show me?" her soft voice asked.

I scoffed lightly but promptly realized that a demonstration could be beneficial to me.

"May I?" I politely asked and held up my hand.

Her eyebrow raised with intrigue while she nodded. With her permission, I reached my hand out to her and pressed into her mind with the utmost ease.

Her expansive void of thundering memories filled my vision again as I awaited a memory that piqued my curiosity. I found one particularly interesting as it flashed against the sky and drove into it before it could disappear.

A tiny girl rushed through a dark hallway, treading lightly on the floorboards beneath her before she dipped into a cracked door. I followed her into the room as she scampered up onto the bed that rested against the back wall. There was another girl with white hair that sat on the bed, waiting for the smaller one as she helped her up. Quietly, I hovered in the doorway as the girls conversed in the darkness, the only source of light was a small lantern on the bedside table.

"You're late," the older girl whispered.

"I'm sorry!" the younger Elaine replied. "Mama didn't go to bed until later."

"What story do you want to hear tonight?" the white-haired girl asked and reached over onto the nightstand for an object that I couldn't see.

"Tell me more about the men in the stars," Elaine's grin widened. It was nice to see her smile.

No! Get out of my head! She screeched at me.

I rocked back into my seat as she banished me. Her eyes were leaking tears and she curled her knees against her chest under the sheets as she wiped them from her cheeks.

"Forgive me—"

"Don't," she shook her head. When she finally looked at me, it was with eyes that looked as if they'd been tortured under my hand: frightful and traumatized. "Don't ever do that to me again."

Dammit. Now you've done it, I groaned as she withdrew from me.

"Since I can't go anywhere," she furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. "Can you just...leave me alone."

Dejected and bewildered I sprung from my chair, irked that she would refuse my apology and the chance to explain my actions. Before I could let my mouth run ahead of my mind again I clenched my fist tightly and marched briskly for the door.


Anger boiled in my chest as I charged through the hallways.

How could you be so foolish, I snarled. You let your meddling get the best of you.

I needed to ram my fist into something repeatedly. The pressure of losing the map combined with the way that she looked at me— the same way Skywalker looked at me— swelled in my chest like heavy concrete.

When I rounded the corner, a smirk lit up the edge of my mouth. Perfect timing, I muttered to myself as Hux entered the hallway just ahead of me.

I rushed behind and caught him by surprise as I pinned him against the wall, my hand wrapped tightly around his throat. He squirmed and let out a yelp as his hands clamped around my wrist.

"No! Ren!" he gasped and protested.

"I always knew you were a fucking invalid, Hux," I growled. "But what you did to that girl—"

"I should have known that you would have wanted in on it," he tried to smirk, his toes straining to reach the ground. "I hope that I didn't ruin her for you."

I roared at this and slammed my free fist next to his head, destroying the metal wall panel as it exploded into shrapnel and loose wires.

"If you ever try to speak to her, approach her, or even look at her without my permission, so help me, Hux, I will do exactly what you planned for her," I held up my saber for him to see. "But I think I'll use this instead."

Sweat rolled down his forehead as his eyes whipped back and forth between my helmet and the hilt. "You wouldn't. Supreme Leader Snoke would have your head."

"Not if I revealed to him your lack of ability to fulfill your duties as general," I threatened. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have yet to hear that troops have been sent to Jakku to retrieve the droid— which were Snoke's implicit instructions as of this morning, were they not?"

His lips pressed tightly into a line.

"And yet you've had all this time to do so, but continue to be a failure to not only Snoke but the entire First Order," I leaned in closer, his jagged breath heaving through my grasp. "I'll say it slower so that you can understand. If you go anywhere near Elaine, it will bring me great pleasure to try out your...crude torture methods."

With a huff, I dropped Hux, who slid against the wall and onto the floor gasping for air. I turned so that my robes brushed against his face as I left, wandering to nowhere in particular. Sure, I had wanted to wait to confront Hux for just a little longer, but now was just as good a time as any. I breathed in a deep sigh of accomplishment.

Damn, that felt good.


Elaine, I repeated in my head again. It had been the first time I said it aloud since she disclosed it to me. There was a simplistic beauty to the sound of it, just as the soft green shade of her eyes; they weren't head-turning per se, but they had a casual charm that was pleasant to look into.

After my confrontation with Hux, it became clear to me that I needed to do something to win back her trust— if she even trusted me to begin with. Rightfully so, it was obvious that she had a hard time trusting anyone. And for some reason that I couldn't quite explain, I was determined to prove her wrong about distrusting me.

"We're mostly out of leisurewear," the girl behind the counter explained as she dug in the bins, tossing aside bits and pieces of various uniforms. "But I might have a few undergarment items left."

"That will suffice," I responded.

She smiled and nodded, her eyes lingering on me before she ducked into one of the shelves covered in clothes. She was a pretty girl, blonde hair that was pulled tightly into a bun at the nape of her neck. I noticed her cheeks had blushed a soft peach shade when I asked her to retrieve women's clothes.

"Do you want boots with this?" She set the folded articles on the counter and boldly stared into my helmet.

"Whatever you suggest," I promptly responded.

Her blush deepened as she bit her lip. "I'll see what we have in stock."

I wasn't aloof to the way some of the women on the ship eyed me from time to time. Though, most were so focused on their jobs and their status that they never bothered with personal life outside the First Order. But every now and then, as this girl did, they would smile just a bit more when I was around, or twirl a piece of their hair around their finger, or look deep into my mask as they imagined what resided beneath the metal.

I never partook in women on board. Not that I felt elitist towards them; simply put, they were too polished for my particular tastes. When one spends time with the Knights of Ren, they are quickly introduced to the world of sex and debauchery. On our missions across the galaxy, Trudgen was usually the ring-leader of such escapades, who would raid villages for women to bring back to our camp. Endless nights of bodies twisted up with each other moans bursting through the air like comets. As many as you wanted, whenever you wanted. It had been a long time since those days, though, and it had been an even longer time since I had a woman share my bed on board.

"These are all I've got," the blonde girl held up the black pair of boots. "They're not pretty but they'll match."

I nodded my appreciation and collected the articles of clothing in my arms. Strikingly, I felt her eyes follow me from behind as I departed. Flattering as it was, I was too occupied with the task at hand to engage.


My heart pounded considerably as I hovered outside the automatic door. I clutched the bundle of clothes in my hands as if they were the only thing grounding me in place.

What is wrong with you? I spat, thoroughly ashamed of my nerves. You can destroy militias single-handedly, but can't apologize to her?

There was a crash behind the doors followed by a curse and a noise I couldn't decipher.

"Fuck!"

On alert, I rushed through the doors to find Elaine crumbled on the ground at the foot of the bed. She was clutching her knees as she rolled onto her side, muttering something under her breath.

"Son of a—"

"What were you thinking?" I said as I dropped the bundle onto the chair and bent down to help her.

"I'm fine," she brushed me off and rotated into a seating position.

"You don't look fine. You look like you're on the floor," I remarked.

"Ok, but I don't need your help," she refused to look at me as she planned her next move.

It took me a moment to bury my instincts to retaliate. "What were you trying to do?"

She hesitated and tucked her long hair behind her ear. I noticed that her cheeks had flooded with bright crimson. "I wanted to try to walk. I thought I could do it."

I observed the distance she had traveled before tumbling; she must have stood up from the bedside, made it a couple of steps to the end of the bed before her knee joints buckled, which led to her topple into a heap on the floor. Not bad for a first try.

"You can. You just need to let me help you," I asserted.

Her stubbornness refused to budge but she gave in to reason and allowed me to wrap my arms underneath hers to hoist her up to a standing position.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked tenderly.

Her cheeks continued to blush in embarrassment as she deflected her eyes. "I just wanted to use the restroom."

My heart clenched for her. I nodded with assurance and readied my arms on either side of her. "Ok. Then that's where you're going to go," I affirmed. "Hold onto my arms," I instructed. Her shaky hands reached out and distributed her weight onto my forearms. "Now, center your breathing. Picture your legs lifting from the ground and extending forward in front of you."

Finally, she gazed up at me and nodded, her nerves beginning to show as I felt her pulse quicken. She squeezed her hands tightly around my arms as she bent her first knee, a soft gasp parting her lips.

"I know it hurts," I spoke in an attempt to distract from her pain. "Remind them how to work again," I encouraged.

She gingerly set the knee down, a step ahead of her other one. She lifted the next leg, a bit easier this time as she held her breath.

"Breathe," I reminded her.

Each gradual, cautious step she took forward, sent me back one as we slowly danced across the floor. By the time we neared the other side of the room, her movements were fluid and the color in her face was normal again. She winced occasionally as her body adjusted to being upright. And at one point, I could have sworn that I saw a flicker of a smile in the sides of her mouth. But more importantly, I saw hope in her eyes for the first time; the realization that she was on the road to a full recovery, not only from the injuries she sustained from Hux but also from the life she once knew.