Chapter 12: The Right Motivation

Kylo Ren


I believed the hardest parts of my life were over. Letting my past burn in the ashes of that damn temple, embracing the darkest part of myself that my parents so desperately tried to hide from me. But I was gravely mistaken. I had never in my wildest dreams imagined how difficult it would be to tell Laina what I felt.

I am afraid.

I loathed that word. I resented saying it aloud. But if I hadn't, she would have surely left, taking her beautiful, longing, eyes with her. And the thought of not having her at my side struck a harder blow than confessing my emotions.

It was captivating to witness her eyes in that moment. The way they studied my face, desperate for any indication of my intentions. How quickly they softened as my confession hung in the air between us, or when they gently closed as I brought her lips to meet mine.

Her sweet taste awoke something ravenous within me. It pooled in my sternum and grew with every touch, like feeding a fire with oil. I felt drawn to her, the excitement in my stomach pulling me to her, impatient and needy. But I had to be patient. It was obvious Hux intended to use her for his pleasure, yet I couldn't bring myself to inquire about the details. Maybe it was because I wanted to respect her privacy. Or, perhaps I knew that if she described the graphic experiences I would surely be presented to the Supreme Leader, guilty for the murder of his precious general.

I sensed a change in her as well. There was a magnetic tug between us, a static charge that begged to be released. She bit her lower lip more frequently, squeezed her legs together over and over again. In response, the flame inside of me grew, wanting her— needing her under my lips, within my hands. It was maddening.

Nonetheless, I needed to maintain control of myself. I had to wait until the right moment to ravish her...pleasure her...devour her. Everything about her tested my patience from the way my undershirt grazed against her bare thighs, to her sweet smell that filled my nose as she nuzzled into my chest, or the way she sprawled out on the bed, threatening to expose her ass as she hitched her leg. Within a short amount of time, she became my greatest challenge to overcome—especially as she sat cross-legged on the bed, my shirt barely covering the space between her thighs while she ate her breakfast, her bare skin beckoning me to indulge.

"More meetings today?" she asked between bites of toast.

"I hope not," I grumbled. I thought as much yesterday, and look how that turned out. "I anticipated I would have time to train today."

"Train?" she repeated curiously. "Train for what?"

The way she perked up was, for lack of a better term, adorable. I couldn't help myself but smile at her wonder. "I pride myself in keeping a regular training schedule with my men," I explained. "To maintain my skills for combat."

"Who's your men?" she muffled around another bite.

"Don't worry," I smirked. "You'll meet them." While I took a sip of my tea I watched her shift as she ran my words through her head.

"I get to go?" she clarified.

"Of course," I remarked as I set my cup down. "I will not have you locked away in here a moment longer unless that is what you want. I want you at my side, anywhere I go."

Excitement glistened in her eyes. She smiled as her cheeks took on a pink tone, causing the fire in my stomach to swirl with delight at the sight of her response.

It was a struggle to appear interested in anything but her as she changed into appropriate clothes. Utilizing my peripheral vision, I pretended not to watch as she carefully stepped into her pants, gliding them up her legs with ease. The black designs on her back caught my eye while she pulled my shirt over her head and discarded it on the bed. I had only seen them in flashes, brief displays of their intricacy. I wondered how low they went down her body.

"I'm ready," she announced, drawing me from my thoughts. Instead of a braid as before, her hair was pulled back and secured, draping down her back and over her shoulder. For a moment, I pictured what it would feel like to wrap her hair around my hand... I cleared my throat and nodded, securing my helmet before leading the way.


This might have been a bad idea, I grumbled to myself as Vicrul landed a blow to the back of my knee. While I reassured myself I wanted her near me at all times, she was proving to be more of a diversion than I anticipated.

"You're making this too easy," he snorted as I stood.

"Easy?" I repeated and launched an attack, lunging forward with my practice sword outstretched. Trudgen slyly pivoted away from my advance while I swung around to block Ushar's club. Vicrul engaged my flank but I deflected his staff, only to be struck once again as he brought it around his head and stopped at my neck.

He chuckled and shrugged, "Easy."

Embarrassment burned my face under my helmet as I heaved air into my lungs. Laina was perched on a stack of mats, legs crossed under her as she watched intently, her head cocked to the side while her eyes assessed the commotion.

"I think someone's lacking motivation," Ap'lek commented and draped his arms over his staff that rested on his shoulders.

"I have all the motivation I need," I huffed. The map to Skywalker, the BB-8 unit, my escaped prisoner, my father, to name a few.

Vicrul chuckled wryly and shook his head. "No, no," the men dispersed on the training mat, backing away until it was just Vicrul and I in the center. "You aren't riding the fire," he explained and spun his staff in his hand. "The fire that burns in here—" he slammed his fist into his chest. "—and carries you to slay every man within arm's reach."

I tilted my head and closed the space between us. "What are you insinuating, Vicrul?"

"I'm insinuating that you have lost your focus," he challenged, bellying up to me.

My eyes narrowed as he waited for me to respond. When I didn't comply, he was the first to step away. "But don't worry, old friend. I believe I can assist in restoring you to your former glory," he taunted.

Every part of my body stiffened as he walked off the mat, stopping in front of Laina. Apprehension spread into my jaw as I grit my teeth, watching his every move.

"Miss Elaine," he offered his hand to her. My heart paused its beat in my chest as she looked to me for permission. In a brisk movement, he yanked her off the mats and against him, covering her mouth as her scream in surprise muffled its way around his hand.

Rage blinded my senses. My sword swung above my head and came down just as Ap'lek and Ushar closed in. Ap'lek dodged my initial swing but as Ushar brought his club around to my midsection it struck my follow through and exposed his backside for an easy blow.

Ap'lek charged my side, his staff threatening to hit my lower half. I caught it with a deep swoop, grunting as I hooked his weapon to deflect it, striking him in the torso.

I whipped around and drew my weapon back to strike the next challenger. Vicrul laughed heartily behind me, clapping his hands. Laina stood next to him with her hand covering her mouth, her eyebrows raised in shock. "Now that, that is fire," Vicrul approved.

I had to remind myself to relax my jaw while I panted. I flung the practice sword and stormed up to him, my fingers twitching. "Never lay a finger on her without my permission, do I make myself clear?"

He folded his arms over his chest and huffed. "I believe that is for her to decide," he nodded toward Laina who looked frightfully between us.

"I'm ok, Kylo," she reassured, her arms wrapped around her torso.

I hesitated while inspecting her; she didn't appear shaken or terrified. Ensured that she was unharmed, I relaxed my posture and shifted closer to Laina.

"We're done for the day," I announced and motioned for her to follow me. I lumbered out of the training room as she jogged to catch up with my strides. When I stormed into the hallway I heard Vicrul's thoughts through our force bond.

"Damn, she's really done a number on him."


"Hey," she struggled to keep alongside me. I barely heard her as I combatted the rage, humiliation, and shame in my head.

My jaw clenched tightly while my breath fumed in my chest, the fury boiling over. I was infuriated that Vicrul was able to get under my skin so easily. The disgrace of being manipulated that effortlessly made it impossible to think straight.

Master Snoke would be disappointed with you, my inner voice nagged.

"Hey!" she exclaimed again and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop. "Was it something I did?" Laina asked, her concerned eyes scanning me for a hint.

"Something you did?" I repeated, scoffing slightly at her ludicrous question.

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, attempting to interpret my words. "Are you mad at me?"

I blinked, caught off guard. How could she think that? I thought. "No. Not at you," I answered, suddenly aware of how she had drawn that conclusion. Breathing deeply, I banished the anger and humiliation from my head so that I could focus on her.

Her mouth twisted to the side. "You're mad at, whatever his name was?"

"Vicrul," I sighed and rolled my eyes. "He's not one for subtly. He's also very skilled at finding my weaknesses and exploiting them," I muttered.

"I'm your weakness?" she recoiled, shrinking away from me.

"No—" I started but halted as a pair of troopers approached. Her eyes remained locked on my helmet while they passed, the silence becoming thick with tension until they were out of earshot. "That is not what I meant," I clarified. "He could tell from the moment he laid eyes on you that you meant something to me. Something that he could tap into to induce my emotions," I concluded, my fists clenched tightly.

Laina hesitated before realizing the subliminal message in my explanation. A soft blush rose in her cheeks as she lowered her eyes. "Oh," she murmured, embarrassed.

"There is no need for that," I shook my head and brought my fingers under her chin. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. I am the one who needs to improve my ability to conceal my emotions so that people like Vicrul can't get the best of me."

"What if I don't want you to?" She asked the question so daintily, I almost hadn't realized it came from her mouth. In the corner of her lips, I saw traces of a grin that hinted at a mischievous side of her I hadn't yet known. Perhaps she wasn't as innocent and naive as she led on to be. The notion of this potential deviousness lit the flame inside of me, prompting my cock to ache in desire.

My head tilted to the side as I wrapped my mind around the concept. "Then, perhaps, Vicrul will need to capture you more often," I smirked.

Pleased, she grinned in response. Satisfied that she was content, I motioned for us to carry on through the hallways. She was able to easily keep up with my slower stride, her fingers twirling around a strand of hair.

"So, what are they, your brothers, or something?" she prodded inquisitively.

I was unable to hold back my chuckle. "No, no, not like that," a smile widened on my mouth. Her curiosity was incredibly charming. "Though, we've been through a lot together."

"Like what?" she inquired.

Mass murder, assassinations, and the occasional brothel, I reminisced. "Missions, assignments, travels across the galaxy," I composed. "I suppose, in that way, they are the closest thing to family I have."

She nodded.

"Perhaps I will take you on some of my travels," I offered, peeking out of the corner of my visor to watch her response.

It did not disappoint, her eyes and grin lighting up her face. "I would like that," she replied. "Where would we go?" her eyes turned to me while we approached the elevators.

"Anywhere," I answered. "Anyplace in the entire galaxy you wanted to go."

"I wouldn't even know where to begin," she confessed.

"Well, you've got plenty of time to choose," I encouraged as the elevator doors opened. I ushered her into the empty car before joining her, the automated doors slowly closing behind us.

"Hold the door," a woman cried out, her heels clicking rapidly against the glossy floor. I didn't need to see her face to feel a sense of dread surge over me.

Fuck, I internally groaned as Elara rounded the corner, sliding in between the doors before they closed. She was dressed in one of her standard pieces, cleavage and all, her hair in a tangled mess. I wondered if Laina could see that Elara's lipstick was smudged.

"Commander Ren," Elara's eyes glistened as she began to re-pin her hair into place. Whoever had her bent over a barrel must've had a good grip on it.

I nodded my exchange, "Lady Quinn."

Laina barely brought her eyes up from the floor as she tried to scan the woman across from us.

Elara rolled her eyes with a hairpin in her mouth before she tucked the final piece above the nape of her neck. "Ren, I've expressed how much I despise that title," she raised an eyebrow as her piercing green eyes landed on Laina. "But I would love to meet your little doll, here," she practically licked her chops at the opportunity for fresh meat.

In a public display of protection, I wrapped my arm around Laina's waist, pulling her close to me. "Elaine, this is Elara Quinn, wife of General—"

"Oh, please, Ren," she waved me off, stepping to the middle of the elevator, closer to Laina. "Don't bore her with the formalities. You must be the little doll he's told me all about, hm?"

Laina shifted in my arm, her body tensing as she sized up the woman before her. "I hope so," she replied without skipping a beat. "Though, I regret to admit he has not told me a thing about you."

I was floored and slightly aroused by her fearlessness. Elara, on the other hand, was annoyed. "I'm shocked, Ren," she brought her hand to her bosom. "We go way back, darling." Her crafty smirk tested my manners. "Well, I am happy to see I ordered the right sizes for you," she blatantly ran her eyes over Laina. "Do you still anticipate her appearance at the demonstration, Ren?" She toyed, waiting for me to take the bait.

Laina surprised us both as she answered for me. "Considering he's requested me to be at his side at all times, I believe it is a safe assumption that he expects my presence tomorrow as well."

A sense of pride flooded my heart as Laina stood her ground against the looming threat. It was enthralling to watch the women stare each other down, assessing the rival before them. I was astounded at how swiftly and tactfully Laina defended herself and felt the familiar strain in my pants as she leaned into me.

Elara's confidence darkened as she eyed my arm around Laina. She was not used to being challenged nor rejected, and it showed.

"Very good," she affirmed, her cold eyes rising to meet mine. "It's a good thing you got ahold of me when you did, Ren," a wry smile spread across her red lips. "Otherwise, this poor little thing would have to go naked, although I'm sure no one would mind, would they?"

I had always amused Elara and her antics, acknowledging her efforts just enough but never letting it get too far. Now, however, she toed the line on my patience. My arm tightened on Laina's waist as the elevator beeped.

Elara winked at me when the doors opened, her shrewd smile lingering as she left. "Always a pleasure, Commander," she called to us over her shoulder while the doors closed once more.


We were both dumbfounded into silence by Elara's poisonous presence for the rest of the trip back. It wasn't until the doors to my chamber closed that Laina finally spoke.

"What...the fuck...was that?" Laina whipped around to face me, her expression a mixture of confusion and disgust.

"That," I motioned with a nod of my head, "was what I fondly refer to as a pit viper." I walked past her and removed my helmet, setting it on the dresser.

"What kind of pit did she crawl out of?" she scowled behind me.

I chuckled, captivated by her wit. "I apologize for her behavior," I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "Though she's usually not so vicious. She must feel threatened by a younger adversary," I smirked, hoping she would acknowledge my disguised compliment.

Laina scoffed and rolled her eyes, grinning. "What was she talking about, anyway? What demonstration?" She folded her arms over her chest and stared at me.

I had hoped to inform her about it under different circumstances, though I didn't have much of a choice now. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers in exasperation. "Tomorrow evening is the demonstration of the Starkiller base," I explained. "Along with the demonstration, the High Ranking officials, including myself, are expected to attend a formal gathering of sorts."

"That sounds official," her eyes widened as she sat down on one of the leather chairs. "I don't know if you want someone like me there."

"Someone like you?" I repeated as my eyes narrowed. What the hell did she mean by that?

Her lips pressed into a line as she mulled it over. "I can't compete with that, other people like her," she was visibly stressed as she wrapped her arms tightly around her.

"What makes you think that?" I retorted.

Laina shook her head. "I'm not made for being a date to a fancy military party," she stressed. "I was made to be the property of whatever bastard bought me, like some dark-kept secret, and that was it. I'm not refined or poised or anything— I am a glorified whore."

My upper lip twitched as my passion bubbled over. "I don't want to ever hear you call yourself that again, do you understand me?"

Her face froze, unsure of how to respond.

"Don't you even realize your potential? What you are capable of?" I scrutinized. "I see glimpses of it within you. You have a fire that if only you fueled it..." I clenched my fist and turned from her, acknowledging that I had let my temper get the better of me.

Redirecting, I knelt close to her and grasped her hands in mine. "Laina, you didn't see the effect you had on Elara, but I did. You did something to her that I hadn't seen anyone do before. Just as Vicrul said, you rode the fire," I squeezed her small hands as she considered what I insisted. "There is such promise in you, Laina. You just have to see it, as I do."

She sighed heavily, letting my words sink in. I knew she was a long way from accepting them, but it was a start.

"Well," she finally spoke, looking at my hands. "Would you prefer that I attend tomorrow's festivities naked?" An innocent blush accompanied her clever grin as her luscious eyes met mine.

A low growl crept into the back of my throat as my inner voice responded to her.

I would like that very much.