Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.

Challenges listed at the bottom.

Word Count: 1334


bad days are worth it (for good days like these)


Sammy stood in front of the station as the dawn broke over King Falls. Ben was wrapping up what they had left to do, and Sammy was enjoying his coffee. It had been a fairly easy night, but Sammy just hadn't wanted to be there.

But then… he didn't know if he wanted to be at home, either.

Jack was back, but… but he wasn't.

Not fully, not really.

That he had him at all… Sammy was beyond grateful. He really was. It was an honest to god miracle, and he'd never been more grateful for anything in his life. But that didn't mean it wasn't hard.

Ben had, as he always was, been a rock, and Emily too, of course. Lily was… struggling about as much as Sammy was, but was hiding it better than he could. She'd always been better at that, except for the times that she wasn't.

"You okay?"

Sammy startled, but the voice was familiar, almost like a comfort blanket, and he looked over his shoulder to see Ben watching him. There was an odd look in his eyes, but Sammy knew what it was; empathy. Ben had, after all, been through something similar when Emily first came back without her memories.

"I'm fine," Sammy replied, the words slipping out automatically. He was always fine, except for all the times that he wasn't, but he preferred to ignore those. "Tired."

"You're upset," Ben pointed out, a statement rather than an accusation. Almost like it was just a fact, rather than an assumption.

"I'm not… upset," Sammy corrected.

"You are," Ben replied, nodding once. "But that's okay. It's allowed. Just because you feel like you have to be strong for Jack, it doesn't mean you can't be dealing with your own feelings as well."

"Love is putting someone else's needs before yours, right?" Sammy pointed out.

Ben wrinkled his nose. "You're not actually quoting Olaf at me right now."

"The fact that you know what it's from—"

"You're an awful human," Ben complained, though he was grinning.

"I am a fucking delight."

"Uh huh. Sure. I believe you. Go put your cup in the office, and we can head out. Rose's pancakes are definitely calling my name."

They settled at their usual table in the far back corner, and Sammy tapped an uneven rhythm on the table with his fingertips. Ben was staring at his hands, and Sammy was about to ask him why when he looked up to meet Sammy's questioning gaze.

"You're not wearing your ring," Ben said softly, the question implied if not asked.

Sammy twisted his lips and then reached into his shirt to pull a silver chain out. The ring hung from it, almost tauntingly, and Sammy quickly dropped it back beneath his shirt, hidden but still felt, resting against his chest.

"Why—"

"He's… Jack's messed up enough at the moment as is. He doesn't need me being all needy and selfish," Sammy pointed out quietly. "If he saw the ring… I don't want him to feel like he has to be okay for me. I want him to be okay because he's okay."

"Have you thought that maybe he knows you have it, and he's seen that you're not wearing it, and he's drawn the wrong conclusions?" Ben asked, and the thought had crossed Sammy's mind but he'd pushed it away.

It felt… wrong, to try and push himself on Jack, when he was clearly looking at a long road to recovery.

"Just as long as he's around… it doesn't matter what our relationship is right now, as long as he's here."

"Shouldn't that be my decision?" a voice asked from behind them, and Sammy twisted in his seat to see Jack standing shoulder to shoulder with Emily, a slight frown on his face.

"Jack—"

"You're not just a scrap of a memory for me, Sammy," Jack said, as he sat down beside Sammy in the booth. Emily slid in beside Ben on the other side of the table. "I don't have a single word to describe what it was like being… there, but I know that the whole time, I was just desperate to get back to you because I know what you're like. I knew you'd be a mess, that you'd blame yourself and that…"

"That what?" Sammy asked, hesitantly, when Jack cut himself off.

"I thought you'd be waiting for me, but when I saw that you weren't wearing your ring, and after… after that first hug, you haven't really wanted to touch me and—"

"Jack," Sammy whispered, heartbroken. He just couldn't seem to get anything right.

"You excel at pretending you're fine," Jack finished softly. "But I always know when you're not. No amount of time will ever change that. I just… I guess I didn't know how to make you see that I'm still me."

"I know that," Sammy rushed to assure him. "I do know that, Jack. I just… I guess I didn't want you to feel pressured to start right back up where we left off. I don't know what I thought. I didn't… I didn't want to add anything else to what you're dealing with."

"You wouldn't be adding to the bad stuff, Sammy," Jack replied, reaching out to clasp their hands together. "You'd be giving me something good to hold onto while I get through the rest."

"I can do that," Sammy agreed. "Anything you need, Jack, I promise."

"What about what you need?"

Sammy rolled his eyes, unable to help himself. "You're all that I need. You always have been. I just… I guess I didn't fully realise that until you weren't there anymore."

"Well, back at ya," Jack replied. "And, uh, maybe sleeping with the light on. I know you haven't been sleeping in the bedroom, but I don't like the dark."

Sammy wasn't much of a fan of it either, anymore. He squeezed Jack's hand before letting go, and Jack got a look on his face that Sammy remembered from years ago. It was the look he always got when he wanted to do something affectionate in public, and Sammy pulled away.

But not this time.

This time, Sammy raised his arm for Jack to lean into his chest, and then wrapped it solidly around Jack's shoulders, holding him closer than he'd ever done in public. It was oddly freeing. Sammy was done being ashamed of who he was, and while he'd never been ashamed of Jack, he was done feeling like they couldn't be them when they were anywhere but at home.

Jack looked up at him from beneath thick, dark eyelashes and he smiled so beautifully, Sammy felt like crying. He pressed a kiss to Jack's forehead, and then winked at Ben, who was watching silently along with Emily, matching smiles on their faces.

When they'd gotten home, Sammy had been exhausted. Part of him thought about remaining on the sofa, where he'd been sleeping since Jack came home, but it didn't take much for Jack to entice him into the bedroom.

Jack climbed into bed with him, despite it being the morning for him, and settled against Sammy's chest.

"Sometimes, I think I heard your heartbeat," Jack whispered. "When I was in there, I mean."

"It only beats for you," Sammy murmured back tiredly.

There was a pause, and then Jack cracked up laughing. "Okay, that was cheesy, Stevens."

"Go to sleep," Sammy replied, wrapping his arms around Jack. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Jack didn't go to sleep—he'd actually slept well the night before, one of the few nights he had since… well, just since—but he enjoyed the time anyway. He listened to Sammy's heart, and let him sleep. He hadn't been the only one not getting much sleep lately.

It was the best day he'd had since he'd been found. Freed.

And he knew, in that moment, that all of the bad days would be worth it, for good days like this one.


Written for:

Gotta Catch Them All: 1. Steel: Silver

Written in the Stars: 7. Upset

Showtime: 2. Excel

Film Festival: 11. Coffee

Lizzy's Loft: 24. I don't have a single word.

Elizabeth's Empire: 17. Miracle

Angel's Archive: 8. "Love is putting someone else's needs before yours."

Amber's Anime Adventure: 7. Scrap of a memory

Sophie's Smut Bucket: 4. Desperate

Lyric Alley: 8. Just as long as he's around

Throwback: 28. Light

Hobby Hole: 14. Hurt/Comfort

Artist Appreciation: 10. Blame

Buttons: W4. Selfish

Naughty or Nice List: Nice: 2. Believe

Guess the Name: Elf: 5. Gumdrop: Miracle

Decorate the Christmas Tree: Tree: 5. Pink: Entice

Snowman Dressing: Hat: 9. Derby: Hurt/Comfort

Hot Chocolate Station: The Mix Fix: 3. Milk: Friendship

Shoebox to Charity: 8. Colouring Book: Silver

Advent Calendar:

12 Days of Shipmas: 5th Day: A Ring / Pairing: SammyJack (KFAM)

Christmas Karaoke: 1. "You're all that I need."

365: 298. Sleeping